Gulps

I was rewatching the new trailer (like any sane person) and a thought popped up in my head and I would like to share 🧍‍♀️

Forget those boys making me whimper nah...nah I'm gonna make THEM WHIMPER AND CRY

Picture this. Whiny Xaiver and Rafayel. Overstimulated Zayne and Caleb and I KNOW LIKE I KNOW SYLUS WOULD TAKE ME LIKE A GOOD LITTLE BOY

. . . I am completely normal and these are normal thoughts

This pls and ty

some Fatui headcanons before we resume the quotes (some funny, some sad, some just random idk) these are all over the place but oh well Pierro: Really liked talking to Signora about magic. They both use very different kinds, but they still have similar understandings, and no one else really wants to hear him ramble

Capitano: Oblivious to romantic relationships. Thinks everyone is just really good friends.

Dottore: Got so seasick on the way to inazuma and back, that he genuinely considered never visiting again. Spent like 5 months trying to research medication against motion sickness and ended up poisoning himself. Intentionally makes mathematical mistakes in his budget reports, just to annoy Pantalone.

Columbina: can't swim.

Arlecchino: Says "I don't have a favourite child", but definitely has a favourite child. Tried making Dad jokes once and failed miserably, mostly because she didn't understand the joke herself. Sometimes forgets that most the Harbingers are immortal, so she'll have situations where she mentions researching some long dead person, only for one of the others to go "oh i knew that dude personally". Somewhat salty that she isn't hundreds of years old.

Crucabena: Her birthday is on christmas. She doesn't know what christmas is, so it doesn't matter, but she just gives off the vibe of being born in winter and I think it'd be funny. Wrote letters trying to get Neuvilette to implement the death penalty monthly, but never received a reply. Has, one more than one occasion, used Hydro not to fight, but to drown people, because she liked watching them struggle.

Clervie: her and Peruere once illegally operated an Aquabus while on a mission. Peruere may have used it to commit vehicular manslaughter. Also she made mother's day presents every year, despite them being thrown away. Tried to teach herself elemental magic, but couldn't figure it out without a teacher. Once overheard Crucabena praying to the Cryo Archon. briefly had hope that she changed for the better, only to hear "Thank you your Majesty for giving me the ability to give people hypothermia".

Lyney: Genuinely thought Arlecchino was a guy for like 3 months after being adopted. Also sometimes forgets that Freminet isn't his biological brother.

Lynette: More cat-like than Lyney. Has caught birds and eaten them raw before, but doesn't do it anymore, even though Arlecchino approves.

Freminet: More powerful than Lyney and Lynette, even if it doesn't seem like it. Doesn't have all that much control over his cryo vision yet, so he mostly uses it as a support for his claymore, instead of the other way around.

Pulcinella: Has a lot of fun calling everyone a child, even if he isn't older than them. Dottore? Unruly teenager. Scaramouche or Sandrone? Practically a toddler. Arlecchino and Childe? Babies. Only ones he doesn't do this to is Columbina and Pierro. Columbina because he's scared, Pierro because of respect.

Scaramouche: One of the only people who actually understands how Ei's Realm of Euthmiya works. Has tried to explain it to several people, including Pierro and Dottore, but get's frustrated every time because they don't understand it exactly. So overcharged with electro energy, that touching him may give you a small shockl (yes, even after Sumeru). Is actually not completely sure how his body actually works, and neither is Nahida. Dottore has a pretty level of knowlegde (although he still gets a lot of surprises), but the only one who actually understands his body completely is Ei.

Sandrone: Tried to become active in Fontainian politics at some point. Promptly fell asleep in the courtroom because she spent several all-nighters trying to complete a project of hers. Complicated feelings about Scaramouche, ranging from "I want to dissect him" to "no one understands this guy more than me, ignore the fact that we talk like once every 5 years"

Signora: Even with the cryo delusion, her body temperature runs really, really hot. Is basically a walking heater- Columbina likes using her as a portable source of warmth. Also, her blood being liquid fire is not an exaggeration- got wounded in the palace one time, only to burn down half a library.

Pantalone: Once suggested suing Raiden Ei for child support. It did not work.

Childe: Completely unaware that Arlecchino isn't the first Knave. Thinks she's immortal too. Also only figured out that Dottore has clones after about a year of being a Harbinger.

How Mu Qing gained a harem in Chaotic Minds - a TGCF Chat Crack Fic

Xie Lian simping over Mu Qing as a woman. As he should tbh

Mu Qing: pretty men like His Highness -

Xie Lian: *neuron activated* he called me pretty!!!!

Hua Cheng kissed Mu Qing. Mainly to save his life but.... huaqing for the win

Nah. Nah I don't gotta explain this. Huaqing for the WIN

Feng Xin stole Mu Qing's first kiss back in Xianle before the whole war started. He holds that over the other two for the rest of their lives.

Xie Lian finally kisses Mu Qing. It took him 800 years but he did it.

One down 🫵 two to go. Mandarin Ducks represent marital happiness and fidelity, so in all technicalities, Feng Xin was 'proposing' to Mu Qing ☺️

Xie Lian FINALLY gets to date Mu Qing. He wins in life.

Last and not least, Hua Cheng joins Mu Qing harem.

Now. HuaLian IS in this fic 🫵 But. Xianle Quartet is the MAIN SHIP..... because I wanna pamper Mu Qing he deserves the world.

Anyways enjoy.

ㅤֹㅤ⊹ㅤ #ㅤDAMN BABYㅤ.ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☆⁠ PAIRING : Batboys x Fem Reader

☆⁠ SYNOPSIS : When you smack their ass.

☆⁠ CHARACTERS : Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, 90s Tim Drake, Duke Thomas, Damian Wayne.

☆⁠ NOTE : English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

— BRUCE WAYNE ⋆

You are never getting this opportunity again. Bruce is standing in the kitchen, wearing sweatpants. His back is turned. The ass is right there. You act on impulse. SMACK. Bruce freezes. You grin, leaning against the counter. “Damn, Daddy Wayne. Is that Batcake for me?” The silence is deafening. Bruce slowly turns his head, staring at you like you just committed a felony in broad daylight. “…Excuse me?” You wink. “You heard me, sweetheart.” Bruce stares for ten more seconds. Then, without a word, he leaves. OH NO. You realize too late what you’ve done. Bruce is disappearing into the Batcave. You hear him booting up the Batcomputer. “…Bruce?” TAP. TAP. TAP. He’s typing furiously. You peek over his shoulder. He’s running an analysis. On himself. “BRUCE—” “I need to reassess my stealth levels,” he mutters. “If you could land that strike, I’ve grown careless.” OH MY GOD.

— DICK GRAYSON ⋆

You see him walking down the hallway, all smug and confident, wearing those tight jeans he knows make people insane. You can’t help yourself. You smack it. Hard. SMACK. Dick gasps.

LOUDLY. “Damn, Grayson,” you whistle, “is that thing double-cheeked up on a Thursday?!” Immediate. Dramatic. Reaction. Dick clutches the wall like he’s fainting. Then—he spins around so fast he almost trips. “Babe.” His eyes are wide, teary, shaking. “DO YOU MEAN IT?” You blink. “Huh?” Dick grabs your hands. “Say it again. Say it with your whole chest.” “…What.” “Do you mean it? Do you mean the ass thing?” “…Yeah?” Dick grins so wide he looks insane. He winks at you before immediately turning around and sticking his ass out. “Go ahead, babe. One more for the road.” “OH MY GOD.” You are never doing this again. Maybe.

— JASON TODD ⋆

Jason is minding his business. Jason is walking past you. Jason’s fat ass is asking for it. You strike. SMACK. Jason IMMEDIATELY turns, hand on his gun. OH SHIT. You throw your hands up. “WAIT—” His eyes narrow. Suspicious. Dangerous. Then—he relaxes. “…Did you just smack my ass?” You grin. “Yup.” He blinks. Then—he smirks. “…Oh.” You squint. “Why do you sound happy?” Jason shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Nah, it’s just funny.” You relax. “Good, ‘cause—” SMACK. JASON JUST DROPPED HIS WHOLE BODYWEIGHT INTO SLAPPING YOUR ASS BACK. YOU FLY ACROSS THE ROOM. “JASON, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO.” Jason just cackles.

— 90s TIM DRAKE ⋆

Tim is exhausted. Tim has had three hours of sleep in the past two days. Tim is running on caffeine, crime, and sheer force of will. So, naturally—you strike when he’s at his weakest. SMACK. Tim jumps so hard he drops his coffee. “WHAT—” He spins around, eyes wide, looking like a scared raccoon You grin. “Damn, baby bird. You always keep that wagon on you?” Tim stares. Tim processes. Tim crashes. He grabs his head like he’s having an existential crisis. “Oh my God.” “Tim?” “Oh my God.” He’s stumbling backwards, running into the table. “I—I was not prepared for this.” “Tim, breathe—” “I HAVEN’T EVEN FINISHED PUBERTY. AM I EVEN LEGALLY ALLOWED TO HAVE A WAGON?” “TIM—” He grabs your shoulders, looking deep into your soul. “…Do I actually have ass?” You blink. Tim shakes you. “TELL ME THE TRUTH.”

— DUKE THOMAS ⋆

Duke is chilling. Duke is relaxed. Duke is having a nice, peaceful day. So, naturally—you ruin it. SMACK. Duke immediately whips around, betrayal in his eyes. “EXCUSE ME?” You lean against the counter, smirking. “Damn, sunshine. Didn’t know you were carrying all that.” Duke freezes. Then—he laughs. “Oh, word?” He steps closer. You narrow your eyes. “…Duke?” “Oh, word?” He’s too calm.Too smug. He leans down, real close, real quiet. “…Bet.” Then—he disappears. For three days. And when he returns—he waits. Until you’re completely unsuspecting. Until you’re relaxed. Until you think it’s over. And then— SMACK. “DUKE—” “EQUALITY.”

— DAMIAN WAYNE ⋆

You spot him. You see the perfect opportunity. Damian is standing by the window, arms crossed, looking all broody and serious. SMACK. The moment your hand connects, Damian jumps like he’s been electrocuted. Then—he spins around with his sword half-drawn. “WHO DARES—” You grin. “Damn, baby. Didn’t know you were packing all that.” Silence. Pure, horrified silence. Damian just stares. Then—he slowly processes what you just said. His entire face turns red. “You—you dare—” He grabs his chest like he’s having a heart attack. “You speak of my body so… so FILTHILY?” You cackle. “Yes.” He looks away sharply. “This… this is inappropriate.” “And?” “…Say it again.” “…What.” “Say it.” “…Damian, are you—” “SAY IT.”

— MASTERLIST ☆

— © luv-lock. Don't copy, repost or translate any of my works here or any other websites ☆

Chat am I weird for having different OC's for the LI? Like I obviously have my MC (her name is Elysia) and yeah shes who I always use, but I also have other ocs for the boys

For Zayne it's Serenity, (I'm actually working on a fanfic for them) and she's a cafe owner

For Xaiver it's Lin, and she's a middle school teacher.

For Rafayel it's Ariel (original name ik but SHHH) and she's an author (don't judge my babies hopes and dreams 🫵)

For Sylus it's Emily, and she's a simple office worker 🤷‍♀️ nothing special

For Caleb it's Billie, and she's a Deepspace Hunter as well but not like an on field hunter she low-key only got the job because the pay was good

But yeah gang am I weird for this ? 🧍‍♀️

GANG IM SO LATE TO THIS BECAUSE OF MIDTERMS BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN RAFAYEL GOT HATE MAIL ON BIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY???? PARDON THE FUCK???

THIS FISH?? HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT!

Rafayel even if the whole world is against you I want you to know that I would always stand by you. And I KNOW there are others out there who agree with me.

Happy Birthday my beloved fish.

Tumblr has a severe lack of jin siblings content, at least the funny kind ☝️ so here's Part 2 of my Incorrect Quotes Jin Siblings style

Jin Zixuan : Dammit, Yao!

Meng Yao : What?! It wasn’t me!

Jin Zixuan : Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Su!

Qin Su : Not me either.

Jin Zixuan : Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Mo XuanYu : *whistles*

Jin Zixuan : *Gently taps table*

Meng Yao : *Taps back*

Qin Su : What are they doing?

Mo XuanYu : Morse code.

Jin Zixuan : *Aggressively taps table*

Meng Yao : *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Meng Yao, Mo XuanYu, and Jin Zixuan are sitting on a bench

Qin Su: Why do you guys look so sad?

Meng Yao: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Qin Su sits down*

Mo XuanYu: The bench is freshly painted.

Mo XuanYu: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Meng Yao: Not if they consent to it.

Qin Su: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Jin Zixuan: YES?!?

Is this out of character? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely not.

Unlike what most people assume, gaining memories of your past life doesn't always happen as soon as you're reborn.

It could be in an instant yes, but it could also take one day, three days, a month, three months, five years, fifty years, a fucking century.

Shadow Milk Cookie doesn't actually remember how long it took for him. All he remembers is that it happened as soon as Pure Vanilla awakened.

It wasn't slow and sweet, but fast and abrupt. As rage filled his heart and the urge to take, take, take Pure Vanilla and crush him because how DARE HIM TRICK SHADOW MILK! THE BEAST OF DECEIT!? HOW DARE HIM! Sudden unfamiliar memories hit him.

A young female staring at her friends as they gushed about a Cookie of all things.

Staring at the game title with curiosity and intrigue.

Pulling on the gacha.

Getting invested in the Lore.

Making theories, joining the fandom, reading stories, looking at art, hyperfixating on Cookies of all things!

Growing up some more.

Dying.

And suddenly Shadow Milk simply couldn't take it anymore, there was no point!

So, she (she?? well, she would work with it, so she.) with rage still making her jam rush into her head, let out a loud scream and teleported away. She ignored Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple and marched into her quarters, the onslaught of new and old memories colliding making her head hurt like hell.

Many things broke because of her rage. Cups and plates? Gone. Paintings? Destroyed, tables? Now a bunch of splinters.

Most people when it comes to reincarnating as a villain always had one thought. 'Oh! I want to be a better person! So I should change my ways for the greater good!'

Not Shadow Milk though. In fact, instead of redemption, the one thing going through her mind was.

"HOW THE FUCK DID I GET TRICKED BY THE FUCKING COOKIE OF TRUTH!!????"

Welcome folks! Ready for some giggles? Lady of Deceit AU was inspired by @toonlestial SM as PV's wife!! Because I took one glance at fem sm and my inner eye opened and all my writers block disappeared

Unfortunately I can't draw.... but I can write insane fics!!! So um...I hope you all enjoy ✨

<< Lady of Deceit | Next >>

MC Twin AU - SYLUS'S Darling

You couldn't believe it, but you had been kidnapped.

You weren't even scared. Okay, that was a lie. You were terrified, but you were also really annoyed.

And flattered.

Well, being kidnapped means you must mean a lot to someone, right? So much that your kidnapper would think to make that person panic, they would kidnap you. How sweet!

But still so annoying. Why you?! What could your kidnapper possibly gain from kidnapping you?

You weren't rich, nor did you have a rich friend or partner. Information? Sure, you knew this world was a video game, but that didn't mean you knew everything.

You pause your thoughts as your kidnapper removes the blindfold they had placed around your eyes. You blink, then deadpan. "You have got to be kidding me."

You couldn't believe it. Of all the people to have kidnapped you, it had to be the twins!?

Meaning, it had to be the boss of Onychinus!??

You stare at the twins in masks before you, then let out a long sigh. Now that you knew who had kidnapped you, you just couldn't find it within yourself to be scared at all. "Quick question." You begin, shifting in your chair and cocking your head to the side. "Did you mean to kidnap me, or did you mean to kidnap MC?"

The twins look at each other. " . . . . Are you not MC?" one of them, who you assume is Luke, asked, and a loud groan leaves you. "God. Damm it!"

Sometimes, you really hated the fact that you and the MC were identical twins, because sometimes you ended up in shitty situations like these!

Unbelievable! Truly unbelievable!

"Hey, are you not MC?"

"But she looks just likes her . . . . does that mean MC has a twin or something?"

"Why wouldn't the Boss Man tell us then?"

"Idiot, what if MC didn't tell Boss Man that she had a twin? So how would he know?"

"But why wouldn't she tell him about her twin?"

"Why would she tell him about her twin?"

"But why wouldn't she?"

"But why would she?"

What were you witnessing? Did they act like this in game? What the fuck was going on?

You couldn't help but watch with morbid fascination as the twins continued to argue back and forth with each other. Did all twins do this? Did you and MC do this? You probably did, but is this what it was like to experience it?

The three of you freeze as the door opens, and you watch a very familiar, very attractive man walk in. Deep red eyes, beautiful white hair, it was Sylus in the flesh, alright.

Ok [Name], breathe in, and breathe out. Sure, the man who made you actually focus on the game is before you. Sure, the man whose myth you sobbed over is breathing the same air as you. And sure, the man you wasted hours upon hours grinding to get all his cards is now walking towards you, but that didn't matter.

All that mattered was getting out of this place alive.

Because you weren't MC, who had half of his heart. You were [Name]. a simp who could probably die if you weren't careful. And quite frankly, even dying can be expensive.

Damm this shitty economy. You couldn't wait for Philos.

You shift in your chair as Sylus stops in front of you, his red gaze pinning you down. ". . . You're not MC," he murmurs, a smile forming on his lips.

You blink. "Holy shit you can tell."

"Wait, so MC actually has a twin?"

"Huh, so we aren't the only twins here anymore!"

"How cool is that?"

A dark chuckle leaves Sylus's lips, and he leans down to grasp your chin, bringing your face closer to his. "You look like her," he continues, his thumb rubbing your chin, "But there's a tiny little mole underneath your eye. Right . . . . there."

You could only stare up at Sylus with slightly wide eyes, trying to shove down the simping part of you. No! This was a serious moment! Down girl! Down! "What . . . . what are you - wait, who even are you!?"

He merely laughs. "Hello, darling. I'm glad to see you again."

You pause. What? What did he mean by that?

See you again?? Had the two of you met before?? The fuck??

Prologue | Caleb | Zayne | Xaiver | Rafayel | Sylus |

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Sylus | 18+

I was supposed to post the final part of the Caleb part, and Rafayel Part 2, but um...here ya go!

....gulps.

Caleb girlies....y'all are a bunch of freaks aren't ya (with love)

For my MC Twin AU - CALEB'S Spitfire [18+] (I SWEAR IM WORKING ON IT I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE SMUT WELL I'M SORRY 😞), I have hit a dilemma