This Quote Haunts Me

he has the essence of jude idk

october 22, 2023

I just read the first chapter of the “axiom of equality” part of a little life and dude I’m really reconsidering the way I view life as a whole.

x=x, yes Jude, I feel you so fucking much, all my life I felt like I wouldn’t surpass this feeling of being wrong, the wrongdoings of my childhood, my mistakes and mistakes of others done to me haunt me every single moment of my days, maybe If I were funnier, maybe I if worked on my weight a little harder it would disappear, what did I do to deserve so much hate from others as a kid? to experience the heavy bullying? why should it stain my memory like a wine stained carpet? (you get used to it but it’s never really clean, this metaphor worked in my head so please bear with it). and Caleb, man I’ve met so many fucking Calebs in my life, people i trusted at first sight, thought it could work just to be utterly disappointed at the outcome.

“you’re not your past”, easier said than done.

it’s 3:15 a.m where I live as i’m writing this and I doubt i’ll be able to afford a good night of sleep due the mental state i find myself in. I haven’t cried once while reading this book, maybe it’s because I see so much of myself in these characters that I’m just perplexed and angry, at myself, at others who made me feel like a complete piece of shit my whole life, at the JB’s, cause we all have that one friend that, at some point, made fun of our insecurities and left us feeling like garbage.

read “a little life” by Hanya Yanagihara, i promise it’ll change you and the way you interpret life and others (and i haven’t even finished it yet)

i feel like willem would LOVE christmas

summer

moments from a little life

here’s how i think the boys’ social media’s would be like

jude:

i think he would absolutely not have any social media at all, out of fear. but i can kinda imagine willem encouraging him to make an instagram after they went official. i feel like he’d post really artsy pictures of like trees in central park with a b&w filter on

willem:

i just know he is on EVERY platform ever idc and i feel like he’s super active on his stories too

malcolm:

would have instagram but it’d be one post from like 2013 of him and the boys

jb:

ABSOLUTELY would have insta and would make it everyone’s problem. i can picture him taking film photos of them all and just captioning it something like ‘judy.’ or ‘beauty.’ LMFAOOO

i’m so😭😭

Friendly reminder that this is how Andy and Jude greet each other every time 💜

The true “boys will be boys” is when all FOUR of you managed to forget your keys and phones and it’s freezing outside and the best solution you and your friends (Ivy League graduates, may I add) could come up with was launching yourself off the roof ledge to break into your own apartment

Everyone @ Jude and Willem when they see their Lispenard St. “Shithole” apartment

The Stare

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