Male Civility Is A Facade.

I don’t like Pork, I like kale

”But have you tried my bacon? My bacon is to die for, everyone loves my bacon.”

That’s cool, that a lot of people enjoy your bacon that is. But I don’t like pork, so it probably won’t be nice for me.

“What if I snuck little pork bits inside your kale, you’d probably like it than right?”

No. I don’t like pork so it’d just kind of ruin what’d otherwise be a good meal for me.

“You like chicken with your kale and that’s practically the same as pork!”

… No. Chicken is chicken. They’re both meats I guess but chicken isn’t pork.

“I think everyone secretly likes pork, they just haven’t had it cooked the right way.”

Then your ideas about the world are wrong, because I don’t like pork.

“I totally get what you mean, I’m a Muslim and I’m 100 percent against eating pork! I do crave bacon and pork chops all the time though I mean who doesn’t? Don’t get how you’re into kale though I mostly live on chicken and lettuce.

I don’t crave pork. Because I don’t like it, I do like kale though- it honestly doesn’t seem like you get what I mean at all.

“Oh yeah, I ate pork and found it pretty okay, but than I had kale and it was the bomb! It was so good it made me realize I never liked pork!”

I don’t think kale is just… Better than pork, I straight up don’t like it.

“You know I experimented with kale when I was younger than realized-“

I’m going to blow up the world.

In the spring of 2023, several news outlets reported the heart-warming story of a fourteen-year-old autistic boy who made a poster and presented it to a female classmate, asking her to be his valentine. The girl said no, whereupon the boy's mother took to social media, recounting the tale and emphasising just how 'shy and socially awkward' her son was. The story got national attention and 'the next day at school, a number of [the boy's] classmates approached him with kind words and offers to be his valentine'. One girl 'presented him with a poster like the one he had made to ask the girl the day before'. He became a high-status victim, at least for a day; the girl he had initially asked out, a heartless bully. Yet what exactly had had she been supposed to do? Say yes when she didn't want to in order to spare him humiliation?

The story illustrates many of the problems with 'just' being kind. In the eyes of some, the boy's autism elevated him above the other boys who pressure girls to do things they do not want. His shyness and social awkwardness were problems the original girl could have solved simply by saying yes. Maybe she judged boys like him just because they were different. Her rejection became, not a simple expression of her desires – just as his choice to ask her, rather than another girl, had been – but a judgment on his worth as a human being, one which the rest of the world set about correcting. To some, the boy had a right to kindness and validation which the girl was withholding. But what of her right to have her needs respected? There's a suggestion that while all girls have the right to say no, it would make life a lot easier if they could train themselves not to, coupled with the old message that girls are better than boys at manipulating their desires – see how many of them were willing to approach the boy the next day! There's so much prejudice in the world, but if girls agreed to offer themselves to the boys who felt most left out, we'd have begun the work of removing it. Taken to its logical conclusion, this is incel thinking.

– Victoria Smith (2025) (Un)kind: How 'Be Kind' Entrenches Sexism, pp. 105-6.

Most Radfems and the like don’t respect DNIs- which I honestly think kind of sucks in its own way. You don’t owe me or anyone your time or attention and I’m not owed access to your blog. A DNI is a polite request to respect a boundary and you- the person reading this- your right to your own space and your own boundaries matters. Never let anyone make you believe the lines that you place don’t matter.

Sometimes I respond to posts on my for you out of habit though and don’t check blogs beforehand. If I break your DNI, I’m sorry especially if I do so in a way that triggers you. Please curate your online experiences as needed.

it somewhat irritates me when people talk about how "masculinity is encouraged in girls, but femininity is discouraged in boys."

yes, it is more socially acceptable for a woman to present in a masculine manner than for a man to dress/act femininely. but that is not the same as masculinity being encouraged. tomboys are tolerated as young girls- but once you've hit pre-teen/teenage years, the expectation is that you femme up and drop any masculine characteristics. masculinity in girls is allowed as a childhood phase, but it is by no means encouraged, especially as you begin to mature and enter adolescence. anyone who thinks that masculine women are treated favorably in society has never met an actually masculine woman

It’s a confusing term decision. Unlike ‘female/male’ or even ‘person with a vagina/person with a penis’, ‘birthing person’ describes an action in the present tense. Think about if I said, “running person”, that would mean the person, at this moment is running.

TERFs act like trans women shouldn't get offended when they call them men "because they are men" and then lose their shit when you call them birthing persons

(I haven’t even talked about the homophobia in this fucking thing-)

It GETS me that Whipping Girl is THE book people recommend me to understand Trans feminism and Trans Misogyny. In one breath it’ll bring up how the female body is treated as taboo to the point where the clitoris is viewed as a fucking myth and the next it’ll argue that no oppression happens on the basis of sex. It claims men oppress women because they’re just oh so scared to embrace femininity and if they were allowed to they would embrace women with open arms. It makes homophobic ‘I only see people’s inner essence in their eyes not their genitalia UwU anyone who cares about genitalia during sex is just shallow and phobic’ arguments. I would recommend it to Radfems because every crap tra argument you’ve had comes from this fucking book, but I don’t think it’d change anyone who isn’t already jumping on the concept that males are the biggest victims of patriarchy.

"For the last few years I’ve been trying an experiment. I speak at a lot of feminist events, and often these involve an all-female panel. Often, a man pops up in the Q&A, or buttonholes me afterwards to ask why feminism has to make men feel so unwelcome. Aren’t men’s contributions valuable? Absolutely, I cry with all the fake enthusiasm I can muster – and there is one, huge contribution that men can make to feminism: the washing up. Or the laundry, I’m easy. Or going part-time while the kids are small.

At this point, the light in their eyes tends to die. It turns out that when they said they wanted men to be involved in feminism, what they actually meant was “have someone listen to their ideas about what feminists are currently doing wrong”. Not do a load of boring unpaid work in return for absolutely zero praise."

-Yes, there is one great contribution men can make to feminism: pick up a mop, by Helen Lewis

That wasn’t the original argument. Op didn’t say, ‘JK Rowling does a lot for women but her posts are bad’ it says ‘Rowling isn’t a feminist just Gender Critical.’ That’s why her actual feminist actions are relevant in this conversation in the same way it’d be relevant to bring up The Carnegie Foundation if we were talking about his views and influence on education (but obviously not if we were talking about all the horrible shit he did for workers rights.)

j.k. rowling is probably the biggest example of why i say that TERFs and GC’s aren’t the same group of people and they have a different orientation towards enforcing patriarchy. because rowling isn’t even pretending to be a “feminist.” she never posts about feminist politics. she’s a straight woman doing what they do best i fear (derogatory).