In the spring of 2023, several news outlets reported the heart-warming story of a fourteen-year-old autistic boy who made a poster and presented it to a female classmate, asking her to be his valentine. The girl said no, whereupon the boy's mother took to social media, recounting the tale and emphasising just how 'shy and socially awkward' her son was. The story got national attention and 'the next day at school, a number of [the boy's] classmates approached him with kind words and offers to be his valentine'. One girl 'presented him with a poster like the one he had made to ask the girl the day before'. He became a high-status victim, at least for a day; the girl he had initially asked out, a heartless bully. Yet what exactly had had she been supposed to do? Say yes when she didn't want to in order to spare him humiliation?
The story illustrates many of the problems with 'just' being kind. In the eyes of some, the boy's autism elevated him above the other boys who pressure girls to do things they do not want. His shyness and social awkwardness were problems the original girl could have solved simply by saying yes. Maybe she judged boys like him just because they were different. Her rejection became, not a simple expression of her desires – just as his choice to ask her, rather than another girl, had been – but a judgment on his worth as a human being, one which the rest of the world set about correcting. To some, the boy had a right to kindness and validation which the girl was withholding. But what of her right to have her needs respected? There's a suggestion that while all girls have the right to say no, it would make life a lot easier if they could train themselves not to, coupled with the old message that girls are better than boys at manipulating their desires – see how many of them were willing to approach the boy the next day! There's so much prejudice in the world, but if girls agreed to offer themselves to the boys who felt most left out, we'd have begun the work of removing it. Taken to its logical conclusion, this is incel thinking.
– Victoria Smith (2025) (Un)kind: How 'Be Kind' Entrenches Sexism, pp. 105-6.
In response to bans on trans women in women's sports, some have suggested that all sports leagues and competitions should be gender-desegregated and open to all, regardless of gender. Do you support this, and what effect do you think it would have on the number of women in professional sports, and their median pay?
Support, increase number, increase pay
Support, increase number, decrease pay
Support, decrease number, increase pay
Support, decrease number, decrease pay
Oppose, increase number, increase pay
Oppose, increase number, decrease pay
Oppose, decrease number, increase pay
Oppose, decrease number, decrease pay
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See the thing here is I kind of wish there were numbers on this. If there were numbers that said, “If given the option non trans people would chose to stay their sex regardless of oppression” than there’d actually be something here. But instead it’s just a weird anecdote that even within itself acknowledges that people say ‘yes’ but denies that that yes is anything but a lie. Followed by a failure to acknowledge that some female and LG (no B here because they’d face oppression on the basis of same sex attraction either direction) people might not ‘just chose to transition out of their oppression’ because without a surgery that won’t actually magically change your sex and will fuck up your body, everyone will be able to tell anyway.
Susan Sontag, The Third World of Women
Honestly if someone doesn’t want to date me because I’m black… Fine? Why should I give a shit, there are plenty of people who’d date me and not give a shit. If it came down to some gross secondary beliefs about black females, than the problem isn’t ’they don’t want to date me :(‘ it’s ’they believe black females are dirty’ or whatever and that’s the thing we’d have to talk about. The dating part would be irrelevant. And if someone ever felt forced to ‘At least give a black female a chance’ it’d be REALLY uncomfortable and objectifying. Like, this has nothing to do with me or how interesting I am, you’re here because you don’t want to feel racist. I could be replaced with any nonwhite person. I’m just a prop here. It seems kind of fucked up why do people act like they want that?
I want to make something really clear that I think Anti-Choice people have failed to understand that Pro Choicers definitely saw coming.
An exception for Rape, Life of the Mother, and Incest mean nothing when you have to prove it in a court of law, or get a team of lawyers and judges to sign off on it which can take weeks or even months.
Weeks a person dying hasn't got. Women are now dying. Actually dying. Because hospitals legally could not save their lives until they could wake up a judge and get their lawyers, and another sides lawyers awake and up and figured out if it was actually necessary or not. All people with no understanding of medicine, and no attatchment to the person suffering who simply doesn't want to die.
There's a lot more I could cover, like the increase in illegal abortion, abortion tourism, the massive increase in infant abandonment... but I'm going to leave it here.
People are dying. People who should be alive. Who would be alive if abortion was legal and the hospital could have simply treated their patient without waiting for a dozen men with no medical experience in another building to decide if their patient actually needs treatment or not. And yes they do have to wait. Because if they don't they get charged with murder for trying to save a life.
Your policies are killing people. Not theoretical people. Not fetuses with no conscious thought or pain. Adults with lives. Teenagers with a whole life ahead of them. Mothers with children who need them. Real people with conscious thought, with fear, with pain. People who meet every definition of personhood.
here’s your reminder that a lot of the violence against women and homosexuals in africa is perpetuated by white christian missionaries.
white christian missionaries are responsible for the death penalty of homosexuals in uganda. they keep going over there and reinforcing the believe of homosexuality being a sin.
it’s their fault that some african girls and women have experienced unfathomable acts of violence — by constantly influencing them to engage in purity culture.
death to christian missionaries and anytime they go to a country or tribe where they are not welcome and get killed for it, i laugh and smile. :) remember to persecute your local evangelical fundie. <3
what i find most frustrating about the “do men of color benefit from patriarchy?” discourse on twitter is that those who deny that they do NEVER talk about the oppression women of color face from racism/imperialism AND the misogyny from their own communities. that’s how i know they care more about coddling abusive men of color than protecting women of color.
We always have the whole "Listen to sex workers" "Listen to POC" etc which of course is brilliant, listen to the victims of an industry/culture, but sometimes all it takes is to listen to the benefactors of an industry and people still don't wanna do that
“I’d like to really show what I believe the men want to see: violence against women. I firmly believe that we serve a purpose by showing that." Bill Margold, Porn actor and producer, in reference to the porn industry, 2007.
They aren't quiet about any of it. They never have been. It's amazing how some people still manage to pretend they don't see and hear it.
I rarely bring this up because it feels like fairly silly and low-stakes compared to all the other effects of american imperialism, but one of the funniest things when Americans deny that living in the imperial core and the center of global cultural hegemony confers them any sort of privilege over people from the imperial periphery is that like. In order for this conversation where you tell me you have no privilege over me to even be able to take place one of us had to learn the other's language, and it wasn't you.
I think the fact that by default the onus of learning the other's language to enable communication is always put on the other side is a pretty significant privilege on the cultural front.
I have preestablished biases and beliefs about the world, I acknowledge that and am willing to adjust with new information shared.
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