I Rarely Bring This Up Because It Feels Like Fairly Silly And Low-stakes Compared To All The Other Effects

Me: passionately argues with ignorant, misogyinist people who throw tantrums about feminism 'just hating men and inventing problems', I use the real ideas of feminism, statistics and real stories from real women, to prove that what they say is full bullshit

Also me 10 minutes later: sees a radfem acount talking about how the Y chromosome contains sociopathic behaviour making every men (including trans women) evil from birth, and every woman who dared to get married or give birth betrayed women, with hundreds in the comments praising 4B

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Susan Sontag, The Third World of Women

Female people should be more ‘shallow’ tbh.

Males are allowed ‘shallowness’ all the time, you ask a male about his preferences and they’re rarely like, ‘I care about people’s hearts and souls UwU.’ No! He’ll say the most shallow shit imaginable! And no one will rush out to hate on them or find some way to ‘correct’ them for saying they like a woman with a fat ass. Female people are socialized and pressured out of admitting any hint of what they’re actually attracted to, female people are denied enthusiastic desire and lust and just. Let yourself be shallow and choosy and picky. Males don’t worry about being considered shallow when they call females over 160 ‘whales’. This isn’t even a call to be as cruel as they are about taste, just hoping to help some people move past their shame and guilt.

Tbh it reads especially hollow when the ‘skirt go spinny’ crowd mocks the ‘I’m just a girl’ crowd. When a man does the same schtick they eagerly kiss his ass and feminism suddenly becomes being a killjoy asshole who hates women.

the true reason “not all men” sounds absurd to me (aside from the ignorance of statistics) is that it fundamentally misunderstands misogyny. “not all men” assumes that male supremacy is not an ideology like Nazism or fundamentalism might be. additionally, it assumes that male supremacy is disconnected from male violence. if a white supremacist killed a black innocent, you would not disconnect his ideology from the crime. but male violence must be psychological, not ideological. he beats a woman because he himself was beaten as a child, etcetera.

misogyny, loosely described is the dehumanization (not mere dislike) of women. thus it takes many forms: objectification, pedestalization, decontextualization, caricaturization (or stereotyping), etc. BUT FUNDAMENTALLY, the ideology of male supremacy centers around one core tenet: men are entitled to women for anything at any time. misogyny will, given time, result in male violence and exploitation. but it begins with entitlement. misogyny is a man feeling entitled to a woman’s body. to a girlfriend, wife, prostituted woman. but it doesn’t have to be solely sexual. he can be entitled to a woman’s subordination. he can be entitled to her kindness or attention. he can be entitled to her time and effort. he can be entitled to her support and loyalty. he can be entitled to her service and ideas. he can be entitled to her career and finances. there is no limit to the expression of male entitlement toward women. and that is what makes a man a patriarch. any person a misogynist. that a woman or girl, by virtue of being female, must be an endless fount of whatever one wishes.

misogyny is uncritically expecting your girlfriends to support all your decisions. misogyny is a man expecting his mother to cook and wash after him. misogyny is a boy getting angry that a girl has genuine, logical counter arguments to his ideas. misogyny is a boyfriend expecting his girlfriend to be 100% available to him whenever he wants attention or feels needy. without returning even half that energy. misogyny is stripping nuance from prominent female figures whether historical, fictional or celebrity. it is the denial of a woman’s interiority and needs. misogyny is a pastor that expects women to defer to him on spiritual matters. it has so many flavors and languages and it has no limits. male entitlement toward female people knows no limits. it’s TRA’s demanding access to women’s female spaces and calling any woman or girl that expresses discomfort or argues for her rights “inconsiderate bigot cunts.” entitlement to a woman’s agreement. it’s the government banning a woman’s right to terminating pregnancy or self-defense against sexual violence because governments are entitled to workers and soldiers.

and so, “not all men” is absurd because there’s virtually no man that does not have some level of this entitlement and expect it of at least one woman or girl in his life. especially because even women do not escape misogyny. men’s entitlement to controlling or overpowering a woman in some way (as the prime hallmark of the identity of a man) is omnipresent, whether or not it escalates into male supremacist violence. but again, once the ideology takes root, that women naturally owe men themselves or some capacity of themselves, violence (or neglect in the face of it) is almost always certain to follow. in which case the question for a woman doesn’t become a matter of “if” but “when.”

all men are entitled to women and girls and believe, as a result of being male supremacists, that they are owed our labor, bodies and minds. this alone makes all men (and boys) weaponized.

dangerous.

It does worry me sometimes when I’m going through blogs and find a kid in Radfem spaces. I don’t interact with them and but I sincerely hope these girls are staying safe. Never post your face or body, always use a pseudonym, if someone’s making them feel unsafe or sexually harassing them have an adult they can talk to, know they don’t owe strangers anything etc.

Can they please go one day without making everything about themselves

a female director creating a sledgehammer-blunt story about the absurd horror of the beauty standards of hollywood and the visceral self-loathing and mental health issues it inspires in women? no. its secretly about transitioning. omfg how obnoxious can u get

See now I know you’re for sure scrolling through my blog lol.

I mostly think it’s fine to leave the conversation there because A. My information is very likely out of date and while I think anyone in a given industry (especially as a figurehead) is unlikely to talk shit about it because it puts their job security at risk, it’d be useful to hear the current concerns in the industry. And B. On the points that matter I don’t think we particularly disagree. I don’t think any industry should be treated as above scrutiny, especially from left-leaning people and groups. It’s gross seeing how supposed leftists reaction to fucking McDonald’s workers being overworked, underpayed and making a penny on the bosses billions their reaction is rage, they’re indignant and want to fight. But the same people when told about abuses in the sex industry respond with apathy. We should be working harder to stop all exploitation in society in every shape it takes in every industry.

You know what’s funny about that “‘masculinity is universally praised’ erm have you ever spoken to a butch woman?” Post? I don’t think a Radfem’s said that kind of shit- because it is stupid and does ignore the lived experience of gender nonconforming females to focus on theory. You know what did say that though? Whipping girl the Trans feminism book because it’s focus is on liberating femininity and most of it reads as terminally online despite being written in 2007

I want a wife by Judy Brady really is a summary of why the patriarchy continues to exist. If your capable of never thinking of what the other person might want, if you’re able to dehumanize them enough to never consider that they exist in their own right… Who wouldn’t want a sex mommy who does everything for you and is always pleasant. That’s fundamentally why I don’t think males can escape the patriarchy merely by embracing their own femininity. If the choice is between ‘sometimes people make fun of you if you act a certain way… But you get the (often unhappy but never unpleasant) sex mommy I mentioned earlier’ or ‘You can cry or wear a purse, be as feminine as you want but female people have rights and most of them won’t want to be your sex mommy and will might even require you to help them while they work.’ The only reason to pick the latter is if you actually see female people as human and her wants and needs as equal value to your own (or if you’re not attracted to females, that can build a bridge of empathy but well. Sometimes it’s just a continued expectation of labor except without the sex. Sometimes they still believe in male supremacy but see us as lacking value altogether.) So much of regressive politics around female people are built around this deal it’s kind of ridiculous when people act like it doesn’t exist.