This Is So Me Rn

It trully is terrible...

Like what do you mean my body needs to take a nap to recover from cleaning itself?

When did i sign up for this?

if they get rid of the department of education, that means IEPs and 504s will no longer be federally enforced, instead the state will be given the choice. states can just say it is up to the schools whether or not accommodations are respected, allowing schools to get away with ableism. this is just one of the ways the Trump administration is taking away disabled rights.

I'm lucky because I am graduating high school, but there are so many disabled students who will no longer be protected. call your rep. protest.

True lmaoooo

there is NOTHING like the rage of searching for a post you KNOW is on your blog with a highly specific phrase and then not only can this website not find it but tumblr says something fucking stupid like ‘please don’t be mad. please’

hey when a disabled person says theyre tired, theyre most likely lying. what they mean is that they are so utterly EXHAUSTED that theyre struggling to function.

i suffer with terrible fatigue as part of my condition and i find it hard to partake in hobbies i enjoy, nevermind hardwork, when it hits. which is a lot of the time. i sometimes sleep 10+ hours a night and still have to take a nap.

before i started seeing doctors abt my condition, people would always ask how i am when i was at work and when id answer id always get 'youre always tired!'

the worst one was the guy who turned round to me and went 'you dont have kids, you dont know what tired is.'

girl, if most able-bodied people were operating at the levels i operate at most days, they wouldnt have the energy to get out of bed or feed themselves. some days i cant do that and i live like this every day. some days i become so exhausted i cannot form words.

idk man chronic fatigue is not just 'being tired all the time'. its debilitating. imagine not eating because you dont have the energy to lift cutlery or chew. imagine being so drained that you physically cannot talk. imagine having to wait until someone else is home to go to the bathroom because you dont have the energy to get there alone.

some of us live like this and when you measure our worth based on what we contribute, it becomes a depressing existence.

Why is it so hard for people to be empathic towards others? Like not even just strangers cause, sure you’re gonna meet a dick every now and then, but like family?

My sibling could not understand the fact that I cannot sleep in a “normal” schedule. I literally cannot fall asleep at night if I am not exhausted from staying up way too long. If I try to go to sleep before midnight, I won’t fell asleep and just roll around in bed and get anxious for not sleeping in the correct time and then be awake even a longer time. I have cried so many nights cause I was stressed about sleep.

I was certain that people could understand that all of us are different people and that sleeping schedules do not always fall in the correct way, but no. They were adamant that I just haven’t tried enough and that I could fix my sleep by just going to be earlier, but like no? Wouldn’t one think that if I have had these issues since I was born that I have tried to fix it? I haven’t been twiddling my thumbs about this. Being undiagnosed ADHD is already bad enough, not getting sleep is even worse.

I pulled out so many different researches and different medical diagnosis, but no. Nothing. They have never had issues with sleep, so ig it just doesn’t exist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s also so much fun to explain that cause of ADHD there is stuff that I just cannot do. I just cannot make myself do them and there is no way to go around it. There is a mental block that keeps me not doing stuff. I just don’t get it why can’t people understand that sometimes people just can’t. There is no way to push forward and sometimes there is just stuff that cannot be done. Thank god for the meds helping a little bit with the mental block and all. I’m just so tired of needing to explain myself every time that there is a conversation.

windows in chinese suzhou gardens by 六毛钱的月亮

on the topic of mobility aids i just want to throw out a non-comprehensive list of tips from someone who's been using mobility aids for 10 years

everyone has different needs and responds differently to certain mobility aids

if a cane isn't right for you, it doesn't mean you shouldn't look into other aids to see if they help

neurological conditions and things like strokes and brain aneurysms can cause someone to struggle with balance for life and are more than welcome to try out mobility aids

it doesn't matter if it's a genetic condition or an injury- consider an aid

wearing braces and using walkers, canes, and so on is very normal after injuries. please use them if you are in pain for a long time after an injury. injuries are serious too

if you buy a cane and it didn't work out for you, you're hurting no one

folding canes are helpful but have a lower weight limit generally speaking

crutches may be a good idea for you if you really struggle with balance and stability

your mileage will vary with each type of aid. you may benefit more from one aid at one time, and more from another in other situations. you may need several different kinds

if you need a rollator, wheelchair or scooter, it really is okay to get or try one. if your insurance won't cover it it's okay to buy or crowdfund one

walkers and rollators require low upper body strength, unless they need to be lifted up on to a curb in which case the user may need assistance

even the lightest and most well constructed wheelchairs are still heavy. they require a lot of upper body strength and mass to propel if you are doing it completely by yourself. you may also need assistance transporting them, getting them up or down hills, on to curbs, and so on

if you struggle to walk for extended periods of time (30+ minutes uninterrupted) you probably need some type of aid. if you have poor balance you may need some type of aid.

you're not hurting anyone if you end up not needing the aids. it's fine to try them

it doesn't matter if the pain or exhaustion or bad balance is related to your weight. you deserve to be as mobile as you want to and can be. its okay for fat people to use mobility aids. it's not embarrassing. being a fat person using a mobility aid in public isn't embarrassing. the people insinuating that are. fat people deserve quality of life

You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?

The emotional amnesia.

Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.

You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.

It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?

And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.

I don't think my body realizes how healthy my labs say I am