HGFKDSLHFLKSDHKLS 🤣🤣☠☠☠☠

now im no big titty lawyer,

tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row

I-....

FUUCCCKK!!

I made a what the fandom thinks of you generator

i laughed wayyyy harder at this then i should of 

“Has this character ever died”

“No”

*cue clattering of half of the board being put down*

“Radio”

Spike x Summers!Reader

Warnings: S5 spoilers + cursing + violence

Description: You didn’t mean to become friends with a creature of the night. It just happened. But when a demon drives you off the road, the two of you have to develop more than a tentative friendship. You have to trust each other with your lives.

I’m trying to make these all linked, but also as fics that can be read alone? Kind of just can’t commit to doing it as a chaptered series oops

Sometimes, late at night, you and Spike go driving. You make sure to leave a note in case Buffy comes back from slaying early or Dawn wakes up, but you never mention who you’re with. Dawn and Spike get along okay, but Buffy is wary of him even though he’s helped out enough times to proved he’s changed. At least, he’s changed enough so that he’s not an immediate threat. And with all that’s happened, you find yourself so lonely that you almost don’t care that he’s a bloodsucking demon.

Keep reading

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

100 posts!

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sing me to sleep ~ corpse husband

word count: 1051

request?: yes!

“Hi it looks like requests are open. Can I request a cute corpse husband imagines where maybe the reader has a nightmare and wakes up and corspe is streaming and the reader doesn’t want to bother him but can’t go back to sleep. Maybe when he’s done streaming he comforts the reader and maybe sings them to sleep. I really wanna read something of him singing to the reader. Pleaseeee”

description: in which she can’t get back to sleep after a nightmare, so her  boyfriend helps her

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

You woke from your nightmare with a yelp and immediately covered your mouth. Luckily, you were alone in bed as Corpse was still streaming so you didn’t wake him.

You tried to just roll over and go back to sleep, but every time you closed your eyes you saw the images from your nightmare again. You tossed and turned for what felt like hours, but whenever you checked the time it had only been 10 minutes since the last time.

You looked at your phone long and hard, debating on texting Corpse to ask him to come to bed, but you knew you’d feel bad if you did that. He was probably mid-game, having a great time with his friends. You couldn’t take him away from that. But you did want nothing more than to feel Corpse’s arms around you and helping to lull you back to sleep.

Eventually, you heard the door to his YouTube room open and close, and his footsteps silently creeping down the hall to your shared room. He was trying to stay silent as he got ready for bed, so you spoke up, “I’m awake.”

“Fuck,” Corpse hissed. You giggled at his startled reaction. “Why are you awake, babe? Didn’t you say you were going to bed when I started streaming?”

“I had a nightmare and haven’t been able to get back to sleep,” you responded.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come and kept you company at least.”

“You were streaming! I didn’t want to bother you if you were having fun with your friends.”

You felt the bed dip next to you in the dark, followed by the warmth of Corpse’s arms wrapping around you. You settled into his embrace, taking in all the familiar things that you loved so much about him.

“You still could’ve come told me, or texted me or something,” he said.

“I debated it,” you said. “But you were having a good time playing with your friends. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Are you kidding? They’d probably prefer for you to be there. They all love you. Rae has been asking when you’ll play with us next every time I’m talking to them.”

You smiled into the darkness at this. You loved Corpse’s online friends .They were so welcoming of both you and Corpse into their group, and they had been fantastic friends to the both of you. You felt closer to them than you had with anyone in real life.

Neither one of you spoke for some time. You buried your head into Corpse’s chest, the soft material of his shirt brushing against your face. Usually, you liked the silence, but at that moment it felt deafening. Your eyes were growing so heavy that you were struggling to stay awake, but at the same time you just couldn’t sleep. Even with Corpse next to you now, it felt like an impossible task that you’d never be able to do.

You groaned in frustration. Corpse’s body shook as he chuckled. “Still can’t sleep?”

“I’m so tired,” you groaned, the words muffled in Corpse’s shirt. “But I can’t sleep. It’s not even the nightmare now, my body just won’t shut down long enough for me to sleep!” You lifted your head from his chest to add, “Maybe I’m destined to stay awake forever now.”

Corpse chuckled again and found your lips with ease, giving you a quick peck. You smiled to yourself again.

“Want me to talk to you to help you sleep?” he asked. “You did always say listening to my horror story videos helped you to sleep before we started dating.”

“I don’t want to hear a horror story, I definitely won’t sleep then,” you mumbled. An idea popped into your head and you smirked to yourself. “What if you sang to me?”

“(Y/N), no.”

You sat up on the bed, pulling out of Corpse’s arms to do so. You turned on the lamp next to his bed so he could finally see your face.

“Come on? Please? You know how much I love your singing.”

“And you know how much I hate my singing.”

Corpse was stuck on the idea that his actual singing voice was the worst sound in the world. Despite the fact that the music he was already making was partially him singing, he kept denying it. He was sure that he absolutely could not sing, and often refused to do it even when it was just the two of you.

There were rare occasions that you managed to get him to sing, though. Usually when you were upset or sick, he liked to take you in his arms and sing your favorite song to you. It was like a magic spell that would instantly make you feel better when you heard it.

“Please?” you begged, drawing out the “e” in the word and even pouting like a child at him. “Just until I fall asleep. If it doesn’t work within the first verse and chorus, you can stop. If I fall asleep right away, you won’t even have to sing long anyways!”

“It might not work.”

“But it’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

Corpse sighed and looked up at your pouty face. He finally smiled and opened his arms to you again. “Fine, come here.”

You quickly turned off the light and basically dove into his arms again. He held you tightly as he began to hum first, a soothing sound that you loved to hear. When he started to sing, your heart fluttered. Despite what Corpse thought of his own voice, it was your absolute favorite sound.

Of course, the magic song worked yet again, as within almost seconds you were drifting off to sleep. Corpse felt your body beginning to slump in his arms, and your head lull against his chest. Your breathing started to get heavier, and finally, you were sound asleep.

Corpse smiled to himself. Although he couldn’t see you in the dark, he could imagine how cute you looked while you were asleep in his arms. He gently kissed your forehead, trying not to wake you, as he settled himself down to sleep as well.

“I love you,” he whispered into the darkness.

“I love you, too,” came a response so quiet it was almost inaudible.

I'm so fucking tired... Please help if you can!!

*URGENT: PLEASE READ/SIGNAL BOOST*

Monday, May 3rd: Hi everyone, I’m Gemma, a bi, mentally ill disaster, who’s in desperate need of help.

I didn't expect to be asking for help again so soon from my previous post, but things have unexpectedly gotten so much worse for me, and due to creditors, fees and late bills, my account is overdrawn and I'm in quite a bit of debt.

As most of you are already aware from my previous post, I have been struggling financially for quite some time due to my welfare benefits (Universal Credit) being under a review, which is due to my worsening mental health and the UK’s controversial changes to how benefits are assessed and assigned. And at the moment, I'm currently struggling to get by, as all previous donations have gone to pay off old court fees and my rent arrears. I am also still awaiting the outcome of my PIP Assessment (May 2021 at the latest)

To be quite honest, these past few months have been absolute hell for me, and with no other income, I’ve been relying on the kindness of others to get by. However, due to quite a lot of late bills, fees and rent to be paid, it’s been difficult for me to stay out of debt and it just keeps building up, and now due to avoiding creditor calls and red notices, it is at such a huge expense I can't possibly pay off on my own.

If anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would literally save my life, and sharing definitely helps just as much as donations. Nobody is obligated in any way to donate if they can’t or don’t want to, I know we’re all struggling right now.

£72.94/£460

PayPal | Ko-Fi

@thebibliosphere @one-time-i-dreamt @justsomeantifas @orquidia @official-lucifers-child @bihet-dragonize @posts-from-a-brighter-timeline @posts-from-a-weirder-timeline @justlgbtthings @shareyourdollar @toastyglow Can you please boost for me? ❤