“You're worth something. Unlike him.” ENDING IT ALL RN IM DYING
Can we get an enemies to lovers with JJ Maybank x gn!reader-
JJ and reader just annoy the hell out of each other, but maybe A gets into a fight and B decides to patch them up. They end up confessing to each other. <3
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a/n: i haven't written in over a year, maybe two. this is completely unedited and also not proofread AT ALL. sorry this is so late and so shitty, anon from april 2023.
pairings: jj maybank x gn!reader
wc: 1.3k
— 🤍 —
"What are you doing here?"
JJ starts, and is immediately punished by the pang of pain that rushes through his body. He pretends not to notice how your eyes glance over him, analytical, filing away every sign of weakness. He hates being vulnerable, especially when it's in front of you, but he doesn't exactly have a choice.
"Can I come in?" he asks, instead of answering your question. Wordlessly, you step aside, letting him walk past you before closing the door softly.
"Bedroom," you tell him, your tone gentler now. He wishes that's how you always talked to him. "I'll go get the first-aid kit."
JJ nods and finds his way to your bedroom, passing the framed certificates and shelves that adorn the hallway, filled with stacks of trophies and medals that you amassed over the years. Although he usually makes fun of you for being such a nerd all the time, the gold is a stark reminder of how you're actually extremely intelligent. You're worth something. Unlike him.
Maybe his issue with you has always been jealousy. Jealous that you've managed to achieve so much for a Pogue, despite having had the same opportunities as him. But it's more likely that he hates you because you're so icy, rational in your arguments, your words always so polished as they slice into him, cutting him down. He can see the judgement in your eyes when he smokes weed or drinks in front of you, when he cracks a stupid joke about the brunette he had in his bed the other day. He can feel the contempt in the insults you hiss at him when he goes too far and pisses you off completely.
But despite it all, he hates that he still wants to win your approval. That he wishes you would let him make you laugh like John B does, or sling an easy arm around you the way Kiara can.
He sits on your chair when you gesture for him to, placing the medical kit on the table next to it. JJ finally takes the time to focus his eyes on you, glancing over your white night shirt and impossibly short shorts. He feels a pang in his chest. There are dark circles under your eyes, and your hair is all messy. He obviously woke you up from some much-needed sleep. If he plans to win you over, which would already be extremely hard at this point, this would definitely be another set-back. Based on his past experiences, you're not particularly kind when you're sleep-deprived.
Which is why he's surprised when you begin cleaning his bleeding knuckles with the kindest touch in the world. The warm cloth is not nearly as comforting as the feel of your palm on his skin is, and he represses the urge to sigh.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" you ask him, moving on to apply some antiseptic to his cuts.
"Why should I tell you anything?" JJ asks, attacking you unthinkingly, reverting to his natural state of being in conflict with you. You stay uncharacteristically quiet, not responding to his taunt, and after standing still for a second, you go back to cleaning his knuckles.
Fuck. JJ's eyes fall shut, and he groans inwardly. Here you are, having let him into your home and bedroom, cleaning his injuries, and he's still being a dick to you.
"I'm sorry, I-" he suddenly gets cut off by your hands cradling his jaw, lifting his face up. JJ nearly gasps, and flushes out of his embarrassment when he sees your raised eyebrow, knowing you caught his reaction.
"Well, I was just going to apply some cream to the bruises forming here," you say, and you trail your fingers along his jaw, "but if it's such a problem, maybe I-"
"It's not a problem," JJ says, too quickly.
Without another word, and only the sliver of a self-satisfied smile, you treat his jaw and face.
JJ has always known he loves being the center of your attention. He revels in it, the way you glare at him after he provokes you, the way you yell when he steals your book. He loves being the only thing on your mind. But sitting here now, feeling your thumbs smooth along his cheekbones and your soft gaze, he knows there's most definitely a better way to receive it.
"What happened?" you ask again, and this time he tells you. Some tourists had been disrespectful to Kiara's parents at their restaurant, and it escalated to a fist fight between Kiara's dad and JJ and four other guys. The tourists must have had some level of common sense, because they more or less went easier on Kiara's dad, laying harder into JJ to make up for it.
"Assholes," you say when he's finished, barely concealed rage in your eyes as you appraise JJ and the injuries on his body with new context.
"It's fine, really," JJ reassures you, standing up. "Thanks for cleaning me up, but I should be on my way now-"
"Sit the fuck down." you spit at him, and he drops back into the chair with astonishing speed. "Take off your shirt. That fight was practically four-on-one, I'm not going to believe that you walked away with just grazed knuckles and a few bruises to your face."
Hesitantly, JJ removes his shirt. To your credit, you don't audibly react to the massive craters in his skin, colouring him in shades of ugly red and purple. Your eyes widen slightly, and after a few long seconds, you're back to normal and treating him with the same gentleness as before.
"Thank you for this," he says, more earnestly this time. You let out a hum in response, too busy doing your best to alleviate his pain. He goes on, "I mean it. You didn't have to do this, and I appreciate it."
You let out a sigh, raising your eyes to his face, "Of course I had to do this, JJ, it's the decent thing to do. I wasn't going to turn you away in the middle of the night, not in the condition you're in."
"Even if you think I'm some heartless bitch," you add, a moment later.
"I don't think that," JJ says, earning a scoff from you.
"Right," you mutter, straightening up and away from him. You pack the materials back into the kit and shut it with a loud snap, which is when JJ realises that you're done treating him. He puts his shirt back on and gets ready to make his exit when you stop him, again.
"Just sleep here tonight," you tell him, gesturing at your bed.
"What-no. Where will you sleep?"
"The couch." You don't even let him say two words of protest before immediately cutting him off, "Don't be obstinate. It's too uncomfortable there for you, especially considering the state of your torso, it's too late for you to walk back home or call someone to pick you up, so you'll stay here. I'll text John B to pick you up in the morning."
JJ listens to all this, taken aback by the amount of thought you've put into taking care of him. He scans your face, noting with surprise that your cheeks pink slightly when you make eye contact with him.
"What?" you say, a little flustered. He just laughs quietly, "Nothing. Just didn't realise you cared about me so much, 's all."
"Again, not a heartless bitch. Of course I care about you."
And just like that, there's a tectonic shift. The two of you are relatively unchanged, but there's this unspoken understanding that passes between you. It's the reason why you're able to press a soft kiss to an unblemished part of JJ's cheek before you slip out of the room, and why he's able to put his arm around you late one night when the whole group is hanging out at the Chateau.
He can't help but feel that the beating was worth it, really.
do u ever just get SO excited to shift that you clench your ass cheeks? yeah same.
🧱🆙
reader scolding jj over something and he just keeps kissing her lips and she’s just stumbling over her words each time he kisses her 😫
i fucking love this idea omg
You'd been lecturing JJ for the past ten minutes, or trying to, rather, because he's just been standing there with a smirk on his lips and a dazed look on his face. He's in dreamland, and you can't for the life of you figure out how he even managed to get there given the current circumstances.
"JJ, focus," you huff, pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance. "I'm trying to talk to you here."
"I am focused, baby," he speaks, walking closer to you. His large palms rest on your hips as he tugs you closer. "You're sexy when you're mad, y'know that?"
You let out a groan. "J."
"Okay, okay. Go ahead, pretty girl." His thumbs rub circles into your hipbones as he tries his best to hear you out.
"I asked you to clean up while I was gone. I get back, hours later, and you're still in the same spot. Now I have to clean up on top of everything I've had to deal with today at work and I-"
You're cut off by JJ's lips, pressing against yours as he tries to soothe you. You sigh against his lips, half-annoyed and half-wanting. Annoyed because he isn't taking you seriously, but wanting to give in to him. Wanting to let go of your so called anger and let him continue to love on you. Your hands press against his chest, pushing him away.
"J..."
"Hm?" He hums, his lips moving on to your jawline and up to your cheek.
"You aren't listening to me," you whine, trying not to melt into his touch. Him and those damn lips. They were like an addiction you couldn't kick.
"'M listenin' just fine," he murmurs against your cheek.
You cock your head to the side. "Then what'd I just say?"
He pulls back, giving you a cheeky grin. "You said I wasn't listening."
"You aren't funny," you glare. He hums at you again, going back to kiss you. You shove him away, watching him pout. "Stop it. I'm mad at you."
JJ kisses your lips again, then your cheek, your other cheek, your forehead, the tip of your nose, and your chin. He's smiling against your skin as he watches you fall back. "You can be as mad as you want, baby. I'm still gonna be here kissin' you."
"JJ, I asked you to do one th-thing," you speak, stammering as JJ's lips now find your neck. "I really n-needed your help, a-and you just— shit. Stop, this isn't fair."
He kisses your lips again. "Keep talkin' baby. Tell me how I can fix it."
concepts
did he fucking put a spell on me ?!!! because it’s insane how much i love him fuck off you cunt
STOPP THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM CRYING
hi love :) idk if you’d be comfortable with this, and it’s totally okay if not ! i was just thinking about something where the reader is pregnant and jj is all protective over her, comforts her when sad, gets her the things shes craving, stuff like that ! can’t wait for your next post <3
warnings; fluff, talks of pregnancy
pairing; dadtobe!jj x pregnant!fem!reader
notes; i am 1,000 percent comfortable with this, and i secretly always hoped i’d get a request like this cause it’s dad jj what’s not to love. in fact, send in as many as possible before requests close. hope you enjoy this little blurb i put together.
Your bare seven month pregnant belly is prominently showing past the linen sheets. It’s round and plump and everything JJ could’ve dreamt it would’ve been. So much so, he finds you an intense amount more attractive pregnant. Just something about you carrying his child made his mind do cartwheels and numerous tricks, and he’s reminded every time he sees the silky stretch of your stomach. Drove him absolutely senile.
Occasionally he’ll walk by you, taking in the bump forgetting that it’s there— only to fall weak in the knees all over again. ‘Shit, yeah she’s definitely pregnant still.’ Thoughts similar to those encapsulate his mind in a manner of just hopelessly desiring for the moment to come.
Ready to give the little being, all of the excess love he had to spare— the love he never got as a child.
He’s sauntering exhaustedly about the bedroom searching for his work pants, he was anyway. Now, he can’t help but bore gawkingly at his pregnant girlfriend. Hair every which way, dribble of drool leaving from your parted mouth, sun peeking through the blinds accentuating every angle. There he stood in nothing but his boxers still thinking you were as alluring as could be.
He’s snapped from his staring trance, upon tripping not even recalling that he’d begun prancing around again because he’s relishing in sheer elation. And there they were— the Goddamn work pants. And there you were stirring from sleep, a thud as echoing as that could not be unheard. Scrambling from the floor, briefly like it never happened.
‘Shit,’ it stings past his lips, silently cursing himself. His main concern is if he’s caused you and the baby to wake up. If he’s interrupted your oh so sweet slumber, or if somehow his fall would make the baby fall too. You weren’t sure where JJ studied baby logic from, but it’s pushed him into a insanity state of overprotectiveness. Not annoying though— any instinct of a true father that worries for the health or his baby and his lover more than his own.
It’s then that he’s hovering over you, one fist digging desperately into the sultry mattress by your resting head. The other, rubbing soothing circles over your cheek bone at the glint in your eye. He merely wishes to crawl back into bed, and rot there with you for eternity.
“How’d you fall this time?”
Your sleep ridden voice encapsulates his slouching over figure, and his grin is toothy sharing gaze with you. Pleased that you were the one baring his child, along with taking note that he needed to stop being so fucking clumsy.
“Damn work pants, baby.”
“Why aren’t you at work yet, J?”
“Couldn’t find em’.”
JJ has excess time to spare before work, though what you don’t know won’t hurt you. His coddling intentions are tenfold this morning, he subsequently couldn’t compensate for going to work today— not when you look like this, and not when he has his little angel to console every waking minute. You are loss for words at your dopey boyfriend.
JJ lowers himself, towards your lips. His sinewy muscles bulging in intricacy as his weight is held in one arm, large hand now cupping your cheek with everlasting touch. He’s about to butter you up, like a freshly toasted golden brown piece of bread with the creamiest butter to exist.
His lips coat yours slowly, humming into it with remedy. Aiming for it to be sloppy, and as lovingly-long as could be. You kiss back— hands finding the tufts of hair at the back of his neck in sovereignty. It’s powerful, useful, but it’s not enough to get JJ through the day.
“Was thinkin’-“ Kiss.
“About …” Kiss.
“Stayin’ home today …” Kiss.
Every one just as breathless as the last.
“You can’t, JJ.”
Nevertheless, he’s just as careless mouth leaving your lips empty only to travel in a downward spiral. Your collar bone, your chest, and your stomach. Leaving a trail of heavenly kisses, paying extra careful attention to the belly that’s beneath his lips. Three extra pecks are given— representing an ‘I love you’.
“I’ll just pick up an extra shift tomorrow, baby.”
“But we still have to buy-“
“Shh. Leave the worrying to me, okay?”
You grin back at him sleepily and wholeheartedly, rubbing your palm over the tainted skin of your better. A grumble or two settling in, the baby having your appetite unquenchable.
So full of love you can barely take it.
“I want waffles … with those little chocolate chips! F-from the bakery down the road!”
“As many as you want, pretty girl … whatever you want.”
He could be diagnosed with being lovesick, hovering over you again as if you were bound to shatter.
SOBBING I LOVE THIS
pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader
warnings: none just fluff
song inspiration: i love you baby by frank sinatra
word count: 341
note: super short but i loved this idea <3
you laid on john b's couch, flipping through the pages of the book you were currently reading. mostly engrossed in it, but not enough so you were able to hear jj say his goodnights to kie and pope.
hearing him chuckle as he walked through the front door, you still tried to concentrate on the words that were close to your face, but found it more difficult as you felt his gaze land on you, only looking up when he hovered beside you with a goofy smile on his lips.
no words were exchanged between you, but you knew what he wanted, so you folded the corner of the page that you were on, leaving you where you had finished. placing the book closed beside the two of you on the coffee table.
that's when he climbed on top of you and into your arms, entangling his legs with yours, his head resting against your chest.
"i missed you so much." he mumbled into the fabric of your shirt.
even though you had been together the entire day you knew exactly how he felt. you could also tell after getting back that you were both well beyond tired.
that's when you started running your fingers through his hair, feeling him melt into your touch. a smile appeared on your face, feeling accomplished at being able to make someone special to you so comfortable.
you started humming the melody of frank sinatra's i love you baby continuing to stroke the blonde hairs out of his face, it took little to no time for him to fall asleep to your voice and the buzz of the cicadas outside of the window.
you always felt a little bit uneasy to go to sleep at night, the overthinking thoughts echoing loud in your mind, oh but that all stopped when you met jj.
he would protect you with his life, his arms wrapped tighter around you, moving slightly in his sleep as he snuggled into you. he made sure you knew that too.
FUCKING SCREAMING I LOVE THIS OML
SUMMARY : You and JJ stand on a pier, having a playful talk about his hands.
GENRE : EXTRA fluff. Lots of emotional intimacy.
WORDS : 739
You stood at the edge of the pier, the salty sea breeze wafting through your hair as JJ crept up behind you. His arms enveloped your waist, and he rested his chin on your shoulder.
Your thoughts drifted to his hands as they slid down to rest on your hips, his fingers grazing the skin of your waist. You had always been captivated by JJ’s hands - rough and calloused from years of hard work, yet so gentle when they touched you.
As he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, you couldn’t help but marvel at the contrast between his strong, weathered hands and the softness of his touch.
“What’re you thinking about?” he asked, but you felt as if he already knew.
You turned to face him anyway, feeling a warmth spread through your body as you looked into his bright blue eyes. “Just thinking about your hands.”
JJ raised an eyebrow. “My hands?” he asked, the hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.
“Yes, your hands,” you rolled your eyes, knowing his playful nature all too well.
JJ’s smirk grew wider. “Is that so?” he hummed, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“Yeah, they may be rough around the edges,” you remarked, tracing your fingers over the scars that crisscrossed his knuckles - reminders of a violent past. “But there’s something strangely captivating about them,” you continued, your gaze fixated on his hands. Despite their scars, you couldn’t help but feel drawn to the strength and resilience that they represented.
JJ chuckled, his fingers tangling in your hair as he leaned in closer. “C’mon Y/N. You’re making me sound like some sort of sea monster.”
You laughed, feeling your cheeks flush with heat. “No, I think you’re more like a sea god, with your surfing skills and handsome face,” you said, a playful glint in your eye. “Or maybe a hot sailor.”
JJ grinned, his eyes crinkling with amusement. “Well, you know what they say about sailors and their hands, don’t you?” he teased, his fingers tracing a pattern along your collarbone.
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. “I’m sure I have no idea,” you said. “But please, tell me, Captain Maybank.”
He chuckled, his lips brushing against your ear. “Let’s just say, they know their way around a ship,” he said, his hands trailing down your sides. “With hands that know how to navigate.”
You tilted your head, trying to hide a smile as you asked, “Navigate what exactly?”
“The twists and turns of the sea,” he replied, his hand moving down your back, “the curves of a woman's body…”
With a playful grin, you lightly swatted JJ’s arm. “Seems like you’re quite the charmer, Captain,” you teased, unable to hide the amusement in your voice. “But I can’t help but wonder - what else do those skilled hands of yours know how to do?”
His lips curved into a softer smile as he lifted your hand to his lips, trailing soft kisses along your knuckles. “Well, for one,” he said, his breath hot against your skin, “they’re pretty good at holding yours.”
You laughed, feeling a warmth spread through your body. “And what else are they good at?” you asked, teasingly.
JJ leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. “They’re pretty good at touching,” he whispered, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your palm.
“And what else?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
JJ gazed into your eyes with a depth of emotion that sent shivers down your spine. “They're damn good at making you feel loved,” he finally said, his voice low and steady. “Every time I touch you… it’s like I’m home.”
Feeling safe and cherished in his embrace, you wrapped your arms around him. “I’m so lucky to have you,” you whispered, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin against your lips. “You make me feel like I’m home too."
As JJ leaned in for a kiss, his hands moved up to cradle your face. You closed your eyes and surrendered to his touch, feeling the strength and tenderness in his hands. They were the hands of someone who had weathered life’s storms, yet still radiated love and kindness. In that moment, you knew that you were exactly where you were meant to be - in his arms, with his hands holding you close.
A/N : Hiii, thank you sm for reading! I have a full story on Wattpad about JJ, feel free to read it here.
jj loving to kiss all over the reader ecspecially in the morning 😩😩
i love this thank you anon
JJ loves to kiss you. He lives for it. If he could do one thing for the rest of his life it would be kissing you. The rest of the pogues are tired of you two always making out.
You guys were out in the front yard talking and just relaxing. You would be on his lap because even if there was enough chairs JJ would insist you sit on him.
It was completely innocent at first, JJ just wanting to be close to you. His hands rest just under your shirt on your hips. He would start on your shoulder leaving gentle kisses. Then he would move to your neck.
JJ would proceed to move your hair out of the way. Then he would suck harshly on the skin of your neck. You were in the middle of a conversation with Sarah when you started to become distracted. JJ was licking and nipping at your neck.
Eventually JJ was satisfied with the work he did on your neck. Then he became hungry for your lips. The conversation with Sarah had died as she could tell you were getting busy.
JJ took your face in his hands and turned you towards him. You readjusted yourself so you were straddling him and facing him. He delicately placed his lips on yours.
JJ was greedy with the kiss. He devoured you. Your lips moved together in sync. JJ started to smile into the kiss. Then he pushed his tongue through your parted lips. Your tongues massaged each other’s.
You and JJ continued to make out completely oblivious to the audience around you.
Kiara coughed, “get a room!”
You simply held up your middle finger up and continued kissing JJ.
——————
But in the mornings it’s a whole different story.
Lips pressed to your skin would be the first thing you registered when you woke up. JJ was kissing up your spine. Next he would attack your shoulder blades.
Then JJ would roll you onto your back where he can kiss on your neck.
“Morning baby,” JJ mumbled into your neck his voice raspy.
“Morning J,” you replied.
JJ then moved to your jaw leaving wet kisses there.
“I could kiss you all day long,” JJ announced.
You giggled as his kisses tickled. JJ then began kissing your cheeks, then your nose, your forehead, your eyelids and finally your lips.
JJ rolled on top of you as you kissed. JJ explored your mouth. When the need for air became to strong you pulled away. JJ chased your lips.
“Just a second J,” you pleaded.
“Your killing me pretty girl,” JJ responded
“I’d kiss you for forever if you’d let me. I can’t get enough of you,” JJ added.
oh my.
what about jj and reader being that gross couple that will make out in front of everyone because they’re so into each other and don’t care 😝
proof of life I didn’t forget ab the horny requests I swear!! short and sweet (and a lil slutty) 😘
“Hey, man, you gotta share,” you scolded JJ, reaching for the blunt he held between his fingers.
He jerked it away from you, a devious smile crossing his face. If you hadn’t been lounging around the Chateau porch with all of your friends present, that look would’ve been leading up to something else.
“I’ll share, c’mere,” he urged, patting the arm of the chair he sat in.
You rolled your eyes, getting up from the couch to approach him. You were about to sit on the edge of the chair, but JJ was quick. He yanked you into his lap. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders to keep yourself steady.
“Hi,” he said knowingly, very aware of the position you were in.
You turned in his lap until you were facing him, straddling his lap. You rested your arms over his shoulders. JJ’s hands instinctively went to your waist, holding you steady while pulling you closer.
“Hi there,” you said playfully, a sly smirk curving onto your lips.
JJ looked up at you, a similar devious smile on his face. He bit his lip a little, knowing what was coming when you leaned in.
Your lips connected greedily, JJ instantly dominating the kiss as he held you against him.
Your senses were instantly overwhelmed by him. The smell of smoke clung to him, and the faint taste of weed was shared on both your mouths. You threaded your fingers through his soft locks of blonde hair that you could picture even with your eyes closed, while his fingertips pressed into your skin, keeping you close. Not that you’d want to be anywhere else.
Warmth blossomed in your cheeks as you heard the soft, needy sounds that left him between the milliseconds of separation. The way he chased after your lips with his own made your head spin.
You were in your own little world, wholly consumed by nothing but love and lust for your equally lost boyfriend.
Pope cleared his throat. “Um, guys?”
“You know we’re still here, right?” Kiara said loudly, extra sarcasm in her tone.
JJ smiled against your lips and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself.
You both knew, you just didn’t care.
LEAVE ME ALONE IM CRYING WHY WOULD U DI THIS TO ME
Paring(s): jj maybank x fem!reader
Summary: three seconds is all it takes for things to fall apart
Side note: A lot of my writing is going to be either smut or heavy on the heartbreak lol, very few happy endings
———————————————-
One. Two. Three
Three seconds.
One. Two. Three.
Three seconds of silence was all it took for him to completely shut me out. His blonde hair striking against the hue of the sky while his piercing blue eyes stare at me, pleading me to agree.
I opened my mouth to speak yet nothing came out. Instead, a wave of panic spread throughout my body causing an intense feeling of suffocation. My thoughts raced as I realized how serious the situation was.
“We’re sick of your shit.”
“Oh, my shit?” JJ let’s put a humorless laugh before shaking his head.
Kie’s eyes dart to mine before she takes a step towards him, looking at him with such disappointment. “You’re pulling guns on people shit.”
I can tell they’re all waiting for me to jump in, to talk some sense into JJ but for some reason my feet are glued to the floor and my throat is tight and no words are coming out.
Instead, my gaze is locked on the grey duffel bag set at his feet, filled with cash.
Cash that he stole from a drug dealer who had a gun to my head an hour ago.
Anxiety coursed through my veins as my stomach swayed with nausea. I wring my hands together trying to create some type of grounding.
“You need to tell him. Tell him this isn’t what we’re doing.” Pope steps in front of me, his hands gripping my shoulders.
JJ’s gaze was burning a whole right through my head and it took every bit of strength I had to meet his stare head on.
I understood him. Everything he’s ever done, as rash and reckless as he was, there was always a reason. That was something our friends never understood about him, they just played it off as JJ being JJ. This money, as stupid as it was, he needed. It could give him every bit a freedom JJ needed away from his dad.
Luke was cruel and uncaring. Consistently spitting venom at him, reminding of how disappointing and useless JJ is. So, I understand. I would have taken the money too if it gave me some peace away from home.
Sarah and Kie, as sweet and loving as they are, will never understand. They were born Kooks, had homes on figure 8 with parents who love them. They didn’t need this money, but we did. And yet, I knew he couldn’t take the money. We were entering entirely knew territory with gold and guns and there was no certainty that we would be safe.
Barry knew exactly who we were. The moment he pulled the gun, the nuzzle pointed directly at JJ, the boy I’ve been in love with since I was 14, all color drained from my face. My body trembled in fear as I let out a shout and reached for him but Barry switched positions. Suddenly, the gun was pressed against my temple as he shouted demands. But for a brief moment, there was a sense of relief because it was no longer on JJ and I could breathe again. This feeling, this sickening choking panic, I don’t ever want to feel again.
The cut was a small place and if not taking the money meant JJ would be safe then it was a small price to pay. But, I know him. I know he’s not going to understand how I see it but rather take it as a betrayal.
One. Two. Three.
JJ says nothing as his eyes rake over every inch of my face. Three seconds was all it took for him to completely close off.
That choking panic I mentioned earlier? Came back tenth-fold as it finally clicked.
“Jayj…” I reached out to touch his arm, the bracelets I gave him mockingly dangling from his wrist as he jerks away from me.
“Don’t.”
My chest tightened as I drew my hand back, fumbling with my fingers nervously.
JJ ripped his hat off his head before roughly running his hand through his hair. He started to pace, twisting the hat in his hands before stopping in front of all of us.
My heart ached at his obvious distress but I knew my input was the last he wanted now. As far as he was concerned, I didn’t care about him.
Pope let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re acting like a maniac-“
“Pope, I took the fall for you man. Do you know how much money I owe because of you?”
“I’m going to pay you back. I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“I just did. I just did pay it back. “ JJ takes a step forward, pressing his palms on Pope’s chest, shoving him back. “Right here, right now, by myself.”
“Let’s just calm-“ JJ’s glare stopped me in my tracks. He regarded me coldly, his face giving nothing away to the storm that raged in his ice blue orbs.
“Oh what? You suddenly decide you have something to say? Where were you five fucking minutes ago?”
I swallowed hard. “Can I please just explain-“
“Explain what? The fact that you know I need this money and you’re going to act like this is some big moral issue, ” JJ kept his hard set gaze on me, drilling holes into me, daring me to move. “How did you like having a gun pointed at you, huh?”
“You mean the same gun that I stepped in front of because seeing it pointed at you nearly made me sick to my stomach?” I spat, shaking my head at him.
This wasn’t fair. He didn’t get to do this to me. Not now.
He said nothing to me, instead he turned his gaze to the Twinkie, twisting his ring around his finger anxiously.
“JJ, you take this money, you open the door for a whole lot of other shit. You think Barry’s just going to let you take it?”
“Listen to your girlfriend, man.” John B stepped up, clapping JJ on the back.
JJ shrugged him off as he took three quick steps towards me, forcing me to tilt my head up at him.
“What girlfriend?” He spat, his eyes darting in between mine, before settling into a sick satisfaction at my sharp in take of breath.
“JJ-“
“You know what?” He stated, bending down to grab the duffel. “I’m going to go off by myself.”
“You don’t get to do this shit.” I snapped as I reached for the duffel and tugged it towards me. “You want to treat me like shit? Fine, I dont care as long as I don’t find you dead in a ditch.”
JJ blinked at me and said nothing. The only thing giving away his emotion is the tightened grip on the bag.
“Go, then. Since you’re so eager to leave, but you’re not taking the money.” My breath came out short as the anger pounds through my blood.
“Or what? You’re gonna stop me? Last time I checked, I didn't need a god damn hang on.” I wince at the anger in his voice and fight the urge to shut down.
"Stop acting like you don't care , JJ. "
“I expected this from them, but never you.” His ring covered fingers danced along my chin, before he gripped it tightly forcing my eyes on him. “You were supposed to have my back. You told me that you got me, that you understand me. All I know now is that you a fucking liar.”
“I’m trying to protect you.” I plead, “Why can’t you see that?”
JJ scoffs, “Protect me? What do you think is gonna happen if I don’t pay back the restitution?”
“We can find another way-“
“I DONT have anything else.” He shouted in my face, his façade finally cracking under the pressure. “What don’t you understand? This is all I fucking have.”
I felt my grip on the bag weaken as I processed his words. It was normal for JJ to lash out when he felt cornered, but it was never directed at me.
My body trembled as I stared at him with a look I can only describe as broken. “You have me.”
I spoke the words softly knowing if I spoke any louder, the shake in my voice would give me away.
One. Two. Three.
Three seconds was all it took for him to completely and utterly break me.
“That’s not enough.”
Whatever fight I had left, fled from my body as my fingers let go of the duffel. I bit the inside of my cheek, fighting back the tears that threaten to escape.
“You win, JJ.”
My eyes slowly traced every part of his face. From the sun grazed blonde strands that laid in a messy heap on his head, to the bronze tan arms from spending hours out on the waves that complimented his bright blue eyes.
I waited for what felt like hours, but was a mere moment, for JJ to take it back. For him to apologize and pull me into his arms. Instead, we just stared at each other, no one saying a word.
Then, he tilted his head turned around and left, leaving what felt like a blazing trail of carnage in his wake.
It felt like all the air had been sucked out of my body. Small hands wrap themselves around me as my legs suddenly feel like they’ve been kicked out from under me. The familiar sweet scent of Sarah filled my nose, as she pulled me into her arms, physically holding me up.
brb dying
Slow dancing with JJ...
JJ Maybank wasn't one for dancing. He would do it whilst drunk, a bit of fun with friends or for a joke to make John B smile when the boy was down. But JJ wasn't a dancer. You wouldn't catch him dead slow-dancing to some sweet, romantic song with any girl. Unless of course, that girl was you.
When you asked him to dance, everything changed. His views on the concept shifted like puzzle pieces finding a new form, and when he took your hands in his, he was comfortable handing his whole life over to the soft embrace of said romantic tunes he claimed to hate. He would slow dance with you until he couldn't stand any longer, and even then, he didn't think he'd want to stop. Having you so close to him, your arms over his shoulders, fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. His own body pressed to yours, hands on your hips, or resting delicately on your back. In the small moments where he chooses to dance with you, and only you, he understands just how deeply in love he's fallen. So much so that's he's entirely willing to do something he otherwise wouldn't be caught dead doing.
"You wanna dance?" it gets to the point where he's the one asking you, his need to feel your gentle affection, that bonded closeness he can find as he sways with you taking over. The other pouges can't help but tease him and yet, he can't bring himself to care if they do. He's in too deep, drowning in all thoughts of you and the worst part is he doesn't want to be saved. If this is what his life is destined to be, long nights with your body grazing his, your head on his chest as the music slows, he wants to live so badly that it might just kill him.
JJ hates dancing, but he would fight a thousand wars just to dance with you.