Loverboymontgomery - 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄

zccming​:

“yeah, and you were only able to fracture it because i saved your ass first.” max huffed. now she understood how dustin felt all the time, no credit paid where credit was due. it wasn’t like she was expecting to be met with high praises or anything, but she had been anticipating a few more thank yous and a few less lectures. cole, at least, wasn’t going to lecture her. he was only going to be whiny, like always. “i’m surprised it isn’t already healed.” max snickered, then condescendingly sympathized, “must be real bad.” then as he made fun of her request for him quiet down, she smiled mockingly at him, “it’ll be quiet enough when you shut the fuck up.” 

despite the hostile words tossed around, max shuffled over to her dresser, grabbed her baggie, and got to rolling. following the mall, she was relieved to find that things seemed to remain normal between them. there wouldn’t be anything weird from her end, but it made her quietly pleased to see cole stand by his choice to share his truth with her. in time, she’d produced a joint for them. moving mostly in silence, max laid staring at her ceiling as they passed the j back and forth until she was lost in her thoughts, the sounds of the radio, and the bugs chittering outside of her thin walls.

cole had shared with her about adam, and all max could think about was how she couldn’t stop relating it to her feelings about eleven. of course, they had skimmed the surface over the billy of it all, but this was a new, equally difficult, perspective. it was horrible of her, but that didn’t mean anything weird, did it? maybe cole would know… thoroughly baked, max distantly asked, “do you ever think about how el has like, the perfect face?” did he even know what she looked like? “or how she’s like, the perfect girl. or perfect person even. it’s… crazy.” it wasn’t exactly explicitly emotional, but in her altered state, max was holding out hope that cole might just read her mind about what she was trying to convey. “i really missed her.” with even less tact than usual thanks to the weed, max somehow brutal and awkward, prodded at cole, “how does it feel when you think about adam? like …what does missing someone…like that…feel like…to you?” then she rasped, “it’s different from…my experiences.”

xx.

“It is real bad, thanks for your sympathy,” Cole retorted sarcastically, cradling his finger in his other hand. “I can’t play the piano with this shit. What else am I supposed to do at work?” he sighed, though his eyes twinkling with laughter. Cole blew Max a kiss with his good hand, playing along. “What, did you invite me over here to sit quietly in the corner? You got a dunce cap I can wear while I’m at it?” he teased, though he wouldn’t put it past her to actually sit him in the corner with a dunce cap, for the bit.

Cole gratefully took the joint and lifted it to his lips. “Cheers,” he breathed out, releasing a cloud of smoke. He still couldn’t believe he’d come out to Max. He hadn’t regretted it-- the opposite, he felt an ongoing sense of relief-- but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad on edge, waiting for any sign that Max treated him differently. He passed the joint to her and turned onto his side, studying her face. She acted like something was on her mind.

The mystery only lasted a few seconds more, until she started going on about El. Chuckling, Cole took the joint back from her, “I hadn’t really thought about her face. She’s nice enough, but not really my type.” The two grew quiet and Cole dared not vocalize his thoughts, his suspicion that Max maybe liked El as more than a friend. Maybe he was projecting, hoping that she could relate to him in that way. Then, to his surprise, her questions all but confirmed it. He took a drag of the joint, and then another, turning his response over in his head. “Not to be dramatic, but I think it felt like... I was missing part of myself. The part that only he knew, you know?” he looked down at his hands. “It still feels like that. Like I’m a fraud, like everything I do without him is just pretending.” Cole looked back up at Max, wondering, but not wanting to pressure her. “Maybe I need a shrink.”

byersphotography​:

TW: FAMILY ABUSE MENTION

————————————————————————————————-

“I’m fiiiiine.” 

Cole’s assurance didn’t strike confidence. This guy needed help. He sighed, exasperated - the best course of action would be to drive him home. Where did this dude even live? While Jonathan had plans to go downtown and investigate Barb’s return, he couldn’t leave Cole stranded on this patio … even if it meant cleaning vomit from the carpet of his passenger seat. “Come on.” He shrugged towards the patio stairs. “I’ll take you home, man-”

“Lonnie, dude, he’s my daddy too,”

Cut off - the realization dawned on him. Lonnie. He hadn’t heard it aloud in a long time. Cole really couldn’t have come up with a more shocking way of saying – Surprise. Your dad fucked my mom. We’re all alcoholics in this family.

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. This couldn’t happen here. Right now. Jonathan’s stomach sunk seeing Mike blast by the door. He did the only logical thing and sprung into action, calmly pulling Cole by the sleeve of his shirt to a corner of the patio, lowering his voice. “Are you fucking with me right now?” He knew Will was somewhere in the Wheeler house. Lonnie was virtually dead to him, but his mom and brother always seemed more affected by his antics. He wasn’t sure how they would react to this news. His own relationship with Lonnie was terrible. Fighting, yelling, neglect – it had all been tucked away in effort to keep the family afloat, but his dad had also been gone for a long time now. Things were good now. The Byers household didn’t need Lonnie’s legacy resurfaced for all of Hawkins to see – especially on his ex-girlfriend’s front porch, in one of the most pristine neighborhoods in town. “Who knows about this, Cole?” Jonathan remained calm but close to Cole, arm still on his shoulder, trying to decipher his drunken expression.

If only he could go back five minutes in time to the peace of Nancy’s bedroom.

xx.

Cole wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so tipsy-- were he thinking straight before the barbecue, perhaps he would’ve eaten something before playing several rounds of beer pong-- but he’d been so anxious about the conflict between he and Adam that he didn’t know the last time he’d had more than a few crackers. And unfortunately, Jonathan was experiencing the brunt of his thoughtlessness.  

At Jonathan’s offer to take him home, Cole shook his head furiously. “No, no, it’s okay, dude--” he paused, dizzy from the motion. “My boy... best... friend is taking me home,” he smiled at the thought of Adam. “Don’t worry, can’t drive anyway,” Cole murmured, picturing his mom’s wrecked car, a side effect from the last ‘party’ Cole had attended. 

There it was again, that look. Cole scrunched up his face, peering at Jonathan’s. Before he could ask if there was something on his face, Jonathan was pulling Cole away. In his less-than-coordinated state, Cole stumbled into a planter. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, as the snake plant toppled over. “Sorry, Karen,” he called over his shoulder, into the darkness. “’m not fucking with you, ‘m sorry... didn‘t mean to kick the plant,” he answered with a deep frown. Leaning down, Cole made a valiant attempt to right the planter, instead pushing too hard and sending it toppling to the other side. “Well, shit,” he stared at the feat of gravity. 

Jonathan repeated himself, causing Cole to raise on wobbly legs and look at him. “--the plant? I dunno, dude, there’s no one out here?” He scratched his head, nevermind the potting soil on his fingers. When Jonathan’s arm reached out to steady Cole, he stared at the other’s hand. Lonnie. Right. “Your mom,” he offered, leaning into Jonathan’s stability.  “Told her... a few days ago...” he struggled to remember what day it was, when he’d talked to Joyce. A warmth crept through his body at the memory of her acceptance. 

Suddenly insecure and unable to read Jonathan, Cole’s expression drooped. “Are you mad at me?”

adam jacob richards & walden cole montgomery

“he was my north, my south, my east and west, my working week and my sunday rest, my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; i thought that love would last for ever: i was wrong.”

― w.h. auden, stop all the clocks

Keep reading

mmuscles​:

.

“you better watch it, buddy.” thad said, jaw clenched, inches from cole’s face. it would’ve been easy to punch him, the other was annoying enough, but he found himself dropping his fist and rather gripping the collar of cole’s shirt with both hands. “i don’t fucking want you to buff it out.” he said, shaking his head, “it’s about the principle, the paying for it.” he listed, “plus i bet you can’t buff for shit.” thad sincerely doubted a guy who looked like that when batting his eyelashes knew the first thing about cars. for a split second, he stared at cole. openly, plainly, unapologetically licking his lips for a moment. then a barrier went back up, anger pointed fiercely at cole. thad didn’t have confidence in cole’s ability to amend this situation, but he did recognize that he had a knack for getting under his skin. 

the longer thad stood there in close proximity, his grip loosened. his breathing remained shallow, and now felt as good of a time as any to reveal – “i already fixed my car.” he glanced over his shoulder, out of the garage, and out to the street. that car was his life, he had the knowledge on how to fix it, and there was no way he was taking it back out on the street dented, so he did what he had to. when thad looked back to cole, a quick, burning sensation coursed up from his toes and settled at the tips of his red ears. he must have been really mad or maybe, maybe this was something else. thad wasn’t looking to find an answer to that question right now. priorities. jolting cole by his collar, he repeated, “did you hear me? i already fixed it, pretty boy. are you gonna pay for my time or what?”

xx.

“Cole Montgomery,” he said, his eyes not leaving Thad’s. Clearly, this guy wasn’t going to let it go anytime soon, and Cole knew he’d already gotten under his skin. When Thad focused on Cole’s lips, he barely resisted the urge to pull Thad in closer. Cole wanted to retort to Thad’s comment, but also didn’t want the other to get more defensive-- he didn’t want to hurt the chances of Thad acting on his desire. “If you say so, guy,” Cole replied, his voice low. 

He’d already fixed his car, so why was he here? Why was he putting up such a big fight? That was as much confirmation as Cole needed. Cole didn’t particularly enjoy Thad’s personality, but that had never stopped him from appreciating an attractive man before. It’s not like he was looking for love. As Thad jostled him, Cole leaned closer, leaving mere inches between their faces. “If you think I’m so pretty, Thad, why don’t you show me?” 

where: blue quarry mall who: cole + robin @rcbinbvckleys

From the moment he stepped into the mall, Cole knew this night was going to be wild. Not because everyone was in the mood to party-- no, not at all-- but because everyone was uncomfortable. It made sense, everyone in the room had been affected by the fire in some way, and of course no one really wanted to be here. And if there's one thing Cole retained from high school, it's that when people are uncomfortable, they drink. A lot. Which is why Cole was offended when Harringon questioned his forethought.

After about six cups of lukewarm beer, Cole decided to venture into the crowd. The closest person to him was Robin, who he had never officially met but knew from afar. He noticed her cup was dangerously low and took it from her hand, using his head to motion towards the keg. "Here, let me top you off," he offered, his words slightly slurred.

Then, through his alcohol-infused haze, he realized how weird it was for a guy she doesn't know to take her cup and he turned towards her, splashing beer onto his shirt. "I'm Cole. A friend of Harrington's. Sorry, not trying to be weird, or like... predatory." He handed her the cup back and laughed at his stupidity. "So, how's your night going?"

After several days too long stuck to the hospital bed, Cole was thrilled to be home, to have a change of scenery. He was still bedridden for the most part; the three broken ribs made it difficult to walk still, but his daily trek downstairs to the family room and then back upstairs to the bedroom felt better than sharing a 4x4 room with Steve Harrington. No offense to Steve, but he snored. Or maybe it was Eddie. Either way, being home alone and lounging on the living room couch was ideal. Adam had left an hour ago, promising to be back soon, and Cole was half sleeping half watching whatever stupid Western was on at 1p.m.

When Beth walked in, Cole smiled up at her. It was funny, the ways all the people closest to him entered his house: Adam and Chrissy with a polite knock, Beth breezing through the door, Max scaling the side of the house. “Thought you were my mom,” he remarked before studying the options she’d brought over. “I don’t know... should we try something new?” Cole grabbed the tape from Beth’s hand and held it up with a teasing smile. “Yeah. Hairspray. He’s hot, remind me of Adam,” he winked. It was fun to be able to tease Beth about him and Adam again, like he used to before. And it was nice to hang out without one or both of them breaking down into tears. “I think we need popcorn, though. There’s some in the pantry, if you don’t mind,” he asked, giving her his best pleading eyes. 

WHO: beth richards & @loverboymontgomery​ WHERE: the montgomery house

There was nothing more that Beth hated than feeling useless. It was exactly how she felt for most of the time when Cole was in the hospital: Adam was there to hold his hand, and she was left to provide not much more than moral support and the occasional errand. She hadn’t even been with Cole and Adam when the explosion went off; she was with Cindy and their parents, distracting them while her favorite couple in the world spent some much-needed what was supposed to be care-free time together. Now that Cole was home, though, Beth had ordered Adam to sleep, something that he hadn’t done in days, while she ran over to Family Video and then the Montgomery household to keep Cole company. 

After three years of just Beth and Cole, Cole and Beth, it was strange to not just spend time the two of them anymore. She wasn’t complaining: having Adam back was all they’d wished for and more since he died. What she missed now, though, were the late nights that she and Cole spent up watching the latest movie on tape, early mornings at the diner when they simply hadn’t slept at all. Now, at any opportunity to try and relive just that, she jumped at it. Beth let herself into the house, Maggie more of a surrogate mother to her now than Ms. Montgomery, and headed toward the family room, where Cole had been set up with the television on loop. “Alright, I’ve got lots of options. Dirty Dancing, which, I know we’ve seen a bunch since it came out, but I think it’s becoming a comfort of mine. Or, hear me out, Hairspray. Just came out on tape, Steve Harrington said I came by just as Karen Wheeler dropped it off.”

eddiemcnson​:

+++

droplets of nervous sweat starting to appear above his brow, eddie’s eyes darted down to where cole pulled out that blasted bandana before he took both the cigarette and lighter from him. he clicked it a couple of times, no light appeared, eddie nervously glanced back up at cole, down at the lighter. violently shook it around for a moment, another attempt - it thankfully lit this time and he handed it back to cole.

he was a bundle of nerves. the previous pleasant buzz from the alcohol had almost entirely disappeared, he flicked  the cigarette’s filter repeatedly, fidgeted with his rings on his other hand. as if he was almost….waiting for cole to ridicule him. instead, however, he said something completely unexpected and eddie chocked on his own breath, sputtering cough.

he looked up to lock eyes with him. i am, too. the fuck did he mean? and ‘too’? was this some sort of trap? or was he literally genuinely saying what…eddie thought…he was saying? hadn’t he not gotten any of his surely widely popularly used phrases moments ago? he quirked a brow, took a drag once his coughing had subised. “you are….what?”, eyes narrowed, voice low in case this was, indeed, a trap.

adam richards was mentioned and, oh, jeez, it all made sense. eddie almost instantly felt bad, a guilty nauseau creeping up on him. way to go, munson, way to go. “your best friend, wasn’t he?” brows pulled together, lips twisted into a sympathetic smile. of course, max hadn’t been the only one who’d lost someone on the very ground they were standing on. “listen, man, i’m so…sorry - like, that’s gotta be rough, like, being here and everything. sorry. i can go and  leave you alone if you want to.”

xx. 

Cole didn’t waver under Eddie’s gaze. If he was correct, Eddie’s behavior made sense. Cole felt it too, the fear of being found out by someone who wasn’t safe. It was the reason Cole and Adam snuck around for the three years they were together-- to avoid the football jocks and the band geeks and the teachers berating them and calling them names. Only it never stopped there; it often got physical, violent. Of course Eddie was afraid.

It was like they were playing chicken, like they were standing in front of a train for as long as possible and pulling back at the last second-- exhilarating, maybe, but not satisfying. Something about being in the mall, all his thoughts about Adam... it was the perfect concoction for a confession. “I like guys,” he said, meeting Eddie’s eyes again. “Adam was my boyfriend.”

And then: relief. Cole felt like he’d recovered part of himself, like he’d regained a phantom limb. He hadn’t been able to talk about his feelings this openly since, well, Adam. It was refreshing, rejuvenating even. “If you want, I’ll prove it,” he teased, giving Eddie a once-over. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so open about it, but what’s the worst that could happen?

goldenboyrichards​:

Adam wasn’t ready to process something like that. How could anyone ever be? Being faced with your own mortality - knowing that you’d died - it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t possible. Adam couldn’t believe it because it just couldn’t be real. Dying and coming back three years later wasn’t something that could just happen. 

He knew it had been summer, the last time he really remembered anything. Adam had been working at the pool with Billy Hargrove and Heather Holloway. He remembered talking to Billy after work one night, something he wouldn’t usually do, and then… then mostly nothing, until he woke up in the woods a few days ago. A brief flash of a fight with someone, maybe. Adam didn’t remember. 

It was the not remembering that scared him the most, besides the thought that he could have died. How did someone forget three years of their life? 

Before he could spiral too far, Cole was grounding him back to reality. Whatever had happened had happened years ago. Right now, in this moment, he was safe because he was here with Cole. And Cole wanted him to stop apologizing for leaving him. Adam leaned into his touch, choking back a sob when Cole forgave him. I know it wasn’t your fault. It didn’t fully relieve Adam of all of his guilt, but it did make him feel a bit better. “I wouldn’t have left you.” He agreed, slumping against Cole. “I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t mean for it to.” Adam pulled him close again, needing to know that this was real just as much as Cole. “I love you too. I always have.” 

They could talk about it when Adam was ready. But… what if he was never ready? He hoped to be at some point, but right now, he just wasn’t. He had never been the sharpest knife in the drawer - his teachers had never accused him of being smart. But this just wasn’t something Adam could rationalize. He couldn’t understand it. Maybe Cole knew people who could, and maybe they should talk to them. Just… maybe later. Adam squeezed Cole’s hand, nodding his head. “Let me tell Mom,” He replied, pulling Cole with him to the front door. 

“I’m heading over to Cole’s. I’ll be back,” Adam promised as he ducked his head back inside the house, ignoring the panicked look on his mother’s face at the mention of him going anywhere. She was so scared he’d run away to the woods again, Adam knew. He hated that he’d ever made her worry that much. 

xx.

Cole hated seeing Adam this upset. Before, it was rare for Adam to be upset about anything. He can’t recall a time when Adam was angry, and he can’t recall a time when Adam was this sad. The Mindflayer had broken part of him, and while Cole was confident that he could and would heal, he was still angry. He kept caressing Adam’s cheek, though his hands were shaking. Why Adam? Of course, it wasn’t just Adam, but... why not Cole? He would rather it be him coming back, dealing with all of this, than Adam-- Adam who was always the first to crack a joke or include an outsider or show kindness to the most unlikely people.

Cole had never been like that, he’d never been like him: naturally kind, easily trusting. From birth, it seemed Cole had a chip on his shoulder-- and that was okay with Adam. It was okay that they were different, it worked. And it still worked, it would always work. But Adam was never supposed to hurt like this. As Adam choked back a sob and slumped against Cole, Cole wrapped his arms around him and buried fingers in Adam’s hair. 

I love you too. I always have.

Tears stung Cole’s eyes and relief flooded his body hearing Adam say it. He figured it was part of the Mindflayer’s possession, but the last fight still echoed in Cole’s mind. Leave me the fuck alone, Adam had yelled, and Cole was relieved to be able to dismiss his fears that Adam hated him once and for all. “I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he admitted, his breath hot against Adam’s neck. He hadn’t planned on telling Adam about the fight-- there was too much else going on-- but he couldn’t help the pent-up tears from years of heartbreak. 

Pulling away just far enough to lock eyes with Adam, Cole angled his chin upward and cupped Adam’s face. “We’ll never have to be apart again. I promise,” he paused, taking in the view of Adam’s face. He was really here. “We’ll go to San Francisco, like we always planned,” Cole’s face broke out into a nostalgic smile.

It was a small thing, but Cole was glad Adam hadn’t let go of his hand to go to the door. Cole needed the physical reassurance that this was real, and he fully intended to hang on to Adam’s arm for the next year, at least. “Wait!” he called, grabbing the VHS from its discarded position on the floor. Cole ducked his head inside, still holding Adam’s hand behind him, and placed the tape on the entryway table. “Could you give this to Cindy? Tell her I’ll come by and watch it with her tomorrow, if she wants,” Cole flashed Mrs. Richards a smile, more genuine than any he’d produced in the past six months. “I’ll watch out for Adam,” he stated, hoping to ease her nerves.

Shutting the door behind them, Cole turned to Adam once again. “I don’t really have a car right now, so.. you up for a walk?” He looked at the porch swing with Adam’s hat and sunglasses. “Want your disguise?” he teased, bumping Adam’s hip with his own. For a second, things felt simple like they used to be. Cole breathed in the feeling, giving Adam’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

spvrty​:

Ginny shrugged, “The ones near the football field work. Go figure.” She swung her legs, her nerves starting to put themselves on display. Talking with new people wasn’t her forte. She’d probably be a charming jokester if you got to know her. She assumed that was true, but had yet to prove it since know one had tried getting to know her yet. 

“Yeah, Ginny,” she confirmed, “We had second period biology together sophomore year.” That came out too fast. Already she sounded like a stalker. Her good memory and lack of filter betrayed her once again. “…I think.” 

xx.

Cole snorted, leaning himself against the bleachers. "Ah. The good old high school hierarchy at its finest." Yes, technically, he was on the football team... but as the alternate for the alternate for the kicker, he was really just the waterboy. Whatever, it looked good on his college application and that was really the extent of it. But for Ginny, who seemed a serious athlete, he's sure that was incredibly frustrating.

He considered it for a moment and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds right. I was never very good at biology. Nothing to argue about," Cole digressed. "Anyways," he turned his attention to Ginny once more, "are you back in Hawkins for good? Or on break?" He was glad that he got to split his time between Indiana State and Hawkins; Cole was sure being here full-time would drive him at least a little crazy. Crazier.