//cole Doing This On Adam's Arm For One Calendar Eyar - Blog Posts

goldenboyrichards​:

Adam wasn’t ready to process something like that. How could anyone ever be? Being faced with your own mortality - knowing that you’d died - it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t possible. Adam couldn’t believe it because it just couldn’t be real. Dying and coming back three years later wasn’t something that could just happen. 

He knew it had been summer, the last time he really remembered anything. Adam had been working at the pool with Billy Hargrove and Heather Holloway. He remembered talking to Billy after work one night, something he wouldn’t usually do, and then… then mostly nothing, until he woke up in the woods a few days ago. A brief flash of a fight with someone, maybe. Adam didn’t remember. 

It was the not remembering that scared him the most, besides the thought that he could have died. How did someone forget three years of their life? 

Before he could spiral too far, Cole was grounding him back to reality. Whatever had happened had happened years ago. Right now, in this moment, he was safe because he was here with Cole. And Cole wanted him to stop apologizing for leaving him. Adam leaned into his touch, choking back a sob when Cole forgave him. I know it wasn’t your fault. It didn’t fully relieve Adam of all of his guilt, but it did make him feel a bit better. “I wouldn’t have left you.” He agreed, slumping against Cole. “I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t mean for it to.” Adam pulled him close again, needing to know that this was real just as much as Cole. “I love you too. I always have.” 

They could talk about it when Adam was ready. But… what if he was never ready? He hoped to be at some point, but right now, he just wasn’t. He had never been the sharpest knife in the drawer - his teachers had never accused him of being smart. But this just wasn’t something Adam could rationalize. He couldn’t understand it. Maybe Cole knew people who could, and maybe they should talk to them. Just… maybe later. Adam squeezed Cole’s hand, nodding his head. “Let me tell Mom,” He replied, pulling Cole with him to the front door. 

“I’m heading over to Cole’s. I’ll be back,” Adam promised as he ducked his head back inside the house, ignoring the panicked look on his mother’s face at the mention of him going anywhere. She was so scared he’d run away to the woods again, Adam knew. He hated that he’d ever made her worry that much. 

xx.

Cole hated seeing Adam this upset. Before, it was rare for Adam to be upset about anything. He can’t recall a time when Adam was angry, and he can’t recall a time when Adam was this sad. The Mindflayer had broken part of him, and while Cole was confident that he could and would heal, he was still angry. He kept caressing Adam’s cheek, though his hands were shaking. Why Adam? Of course, it wasn’t just Adam, but... why not Cole? He would rather it be him coming back, dealing with all of this, than Adam-- Adam who was always the first to crack a joke or include an outsider or show kindness to the most unlikely people.

Cole had never been like that, he’d never been like him: naturally kind, easily trusting. From birth, it seemed Cole had a chip on his shoulder-- and that was okay with Adam. It was okay that they were different, it worked. And it still worked, it would always work. But Adam was never supposed to hurt like this. As Adam choked back a sob and slumped against Cole, Cole wrapped his arms around him and buried fingers in Adam’s hair. 

I love you too. I always have.

Tears stung Cole’s eyes and relief flooded his body hearing Adam say it. He figured it was part of the Mindflayer’s possession, but the last fight still echoed in Cole’s mind. Leave me the fuck alone, Adam had yelled, and Cole was relieved to be able to dismiss his fears that Adam hated him once and for all. “I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he admitted, his breath hot against Adam’s neck. He hadn’t planned on telling Adam about the fight-- there was too much else going on-- but he couldn’t help the pent-up tears from years of heartbreak. 

Pulling away just far enough to lock eyes with Adam, Cole angled his chin upward and cupped Adam’s face. “We’ll never have to be apart again. I promise,” he paused, taking in the view of Adam’s face. He was really here. “We’ll go to San Francisco, like we always planned,” Cole’s face broke out into a nostalgic smile.

It was a small thing, but Cole was glad Adam hadn’t let go of his hand to go to the door. Cole needed the physical reassurance that this was real, and he fully intended to hang on to Adam’s arm for the next year, at least. “Wait!” he called, grabbing the VHS from its discarded position on the floor. Cole ducked his head inside, still holding Adam’s hand behind him, and placed the tape on the entryway table. “Could you give this to Cindy? Tell her I’ll come by and watch it with her tomorrow, if she wants,” Cole flashed Mrs. Richards a smile, more genuine than any he’d produced in the past six months. “I’ll watch out for Adam,” he stated, hoping to ease her nerves.

Shutting the door behind them, Cole turned to Adam once again. “I don’t really have a car right now, so.. you up for a walk?” He looked at the porch swing with Adam’s hat and sunglasses. “Want your disguise?” he teased, bumping Adam’s hip with his own. For a second, things felt simple like they used to be. Cole breathed in the feeling, giving Adam’s hand a reassuring squeeze.