Mmuscles​:

After several days too long stuck to the hospital bed, Cole was thrilled to be home, to have a change of scenery. He was still bedridden for the most part; the three broken ribs made it difficult to walk still, but his daily trek downstairs to the family room and then back upstairs to the bedroom felt better than sharing a 4x4 room with Steve Harrington. No offense to Steve, but he snored. Or maybe it was Eddie. Either way, being home alone and lounging on the living room couch was ideal. Adam had left an hour ago, promising to be back soon, and Cole was half sleeping half watching whatever stupid Western was on at 1p.m.

When Beth walked in, Cole smiled up at her. It was funny, the ways all the people closest to him entered his house: Adam and Chrissy with a polite knock, Beth breezing through the door, Max scaling the side of the house. “Thought you were my mom,” he remarked before studying the options she’d brought over. “I don’t know... should we try something new?” Cole grabbed the tape from Beth’s hand and held it up with a teasing smile. “Yeah. Hairspray. He’s hot, remind me of Adam,” he winked. It was fun to be able to tease Beth about him and Adam again, like he used to before. And it was nice to hang out without one or both of them breaking down into tears. “I think we need popcorn, though. There’s some in the pantry, if you don’t mind,” he asked, giving her his best pleading eyes. 

WHO: beth richards & @loverboymontgomery​ WHERE: the montgomery house

There was nothing more that Beth hated than feeling useless. It was exactly how she felt for most of the time when Cole was in the hospital: Adam was there to hold his hand, and she was left to provide not much more than moral support and the occasional errand. She hadn’t even been with Cole and Adam when the explosion went off; she was with Cindy and their parents, distracting them while her favorite couple in the world spent some much-needed what was supposed to be care-free time together. Now that Cole was home, though, Beth had ordered Adam to sleep, something that he hadn’t done in days, while she ran over to Family Video and then the Montgomery household to keep Cole company. 

After three years of just Beth and Cole, Cole and Beth, it was strange to not just spend time the two of them anymore. She wasn’t complaining: having Adam back was all they’d wished for and more since he died. What she missed now, though, were the late nights that she and Cole spent up watching the latest movie on tape, early mornings at the diner when they simply hadn’t slept at all. Now, at any opportunity to try and relive just that, she jumped at it. Beth let herself into the house, Maggie more of a surrogate mother to her now than Ms. Montgomery, and headed toward the family room, where Cole had been set up with the television on loop. “Alright, I’ve got lots of options. Dirty Dancing, which, I know we’ve seen a bunch since it came out, but I think it’s becoming a comfort of mine. Or, hear me out, Hairspray. Just came out on tape, Steve Harrington said I came by just as Karen Wheeler dropped it off.”

eddiemcnson​:

+++

shit. shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. he should’ve known, should’ve known that this was a bad idea, should’ve known better than to ask a current resident of hicksville, indiana if he was flagging. stupid, stupid, god, what had he been thinking? nothing, apparently, and now his mind was wiped empty once more as he stared at cole blinking at him in confusion - and, what was that, curiosity? - as eddie scrambled for something to say. he cleared his throat. 

“never….mind.”, he said slowly, cautiously, tongue pressed to the roof of his mouth. shit. eddie shook his head. “nothing, nothing. i just thought -” oh my god, munson, shut the fuck up. “i just - “ no matter how hard he tried to stop himself the words now fell freely from his lips. “well, i wondered if you…well, do you know someone named - “ if he didn’t stop talking right then and there he was going to explode. well, spontaneous human combustion it was, as he simply carried on. “are you…perhaps a friend of, uh. of dorothy’s ? “ a beat passed, eddie sucked on his bottem lip nerverously. he waved it off. “you know what….nevermind. nothing. it was stupid.”

he flashed him a pained grin, nodded, ‘right, then’,  and turned on his heel. already squeezing his eyes shut because oh, the embarassment now creeped up on him, made his cheeks flush. at the last minute he decided to turn back, walk back to cole. “can i bum a cig off you?” please, please, heaven, god, if there is one - eddie thought to himself as he stared at cole expectantly -  please just don’t let him bring it up again.

xx.

Cole’s eyes sparkled with amusement and curiosity as he searched his brain. Dorothy? Flagging? What was Eddie trying to ask him? And why was he speaking in this obscure code? At first, Cole wondered if it was a DnD thing, but then realization hit when Cole spotted a bandana in Eddie’s back pocket. He instinctively reached for the bandana he’d tucked in his own pocket and the amusement on his face morphed to something akin to wonder. 

At Eddie’s question, Cole nodded and held out the pack, though his eyes were still glazed over. As Eddie plucked out a cigarette, Cole offered his lighter. He wanted to say something, at least to put Eddie at ease, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to say it out loud. No one knew yet... well, that wasn’t true, because there was Steve and then there was Max. What the hell?

“I am, too,” Cole said, abruptly. He lowered the cigarette from his lips and looked at Eddie, motioning to the flag. For some reason, he felt the urge to prove it. God forbid Eddie thought he was playing a mean prank. “Do you remember Adam Richards? Tall, broad, blonde? He was my... well, you know,” Cole stumbled through his words, feeling his cheeks heat up. He was never this awkward. 

mmuscles​:

WHO: thad bradshaw & @loverboymontgomery​ WHAT: it’s like, collateral. WHERE: the meteor shower 

thad was ashamed to admit he’d thought about cole since he cornered him in his garage. he wished he could say it was a time or two, but when he laid on the hood of his car outside of the motel 6 and moping about his life soundtracked to elvis each night, he found his thoughts drifting to cole, kissing cole. fuck, this was bad. he knew he had to say something next time he saw cole, and not kiss him this time, actually say it. there was no accounting for when he would see him next and secretly thad hoped it would be never, but of course the cookie just didn’t crumble.

he had gone to nancy to the meteor shower the next time he saw cole. he was there with some other guy and thad knew he had to act. quick. he told nancy he was going to take a leak and walked up to cole, who was newly alone and looking in the direction of the boy he was walking off, “hey, pretty boy.” he greeted, gesturing with his head to a less congregated area of the field, “wanna walk with me? i gotta talk with you.” 

xx.

Being in public with Adam again was weird. Good weird, but weird. After they’d spent the last few days alone, making up for lost time, Cole found it difficult to keep his hands off Adam now. Not in a trashy way-- all he wanted to do was hold Adam’s hand, brush the same pesky hair out of Adam’s eyes, press a reassuring kiss to his shoulder. But Cole knew Adam was already on edge given, well, everything, so he was on his best behavior. Besides the two sharing a blanket and a few stolen glances, an innocent bystander would hardly know Cole and Adam were together.

When Adam left to go catch up with a friend, Cole’s eyes followed him. The fear that Adam would disappear still hadn’t gone away. He’d long given up trying to reason it away, because there was frankly nothing reasonable about anything in this situation, and sat lost in thought until he was approached by a familiar face. At Thad’s customary greeting, Cole couldn’t help but laugh. He figured this was coming, at some point, but he still didn’t know what he was going to say. The fear Cole had felt after Thad kissed him came rushing back; he was grateful they were in public, because he wasn’t sure what to expect-- anger, shame, aggression, even. “Uh, sure, guy,” Cole said, hoping his nerves weren’t apparent in his tone. Pushing himself off the ground, Cole followed Thad to a more private corner of the field. “What’s up?” he asked, glancing anywhere but Thad’s eyes. Instead, Cole skimmed the crowd and took momentary comfort in seeing the back of Adam’s head. 

backtowheeler​:

— ✎ —

“Definitely not your smartest idea to date,” Nancy agreed. She didn’t even know why she, or anyone, for that matter let Cole behind the wheel. Steve was semi-sober enough to get them around that night, but alcohol just did that to a person. They were all too focused on saving Max and stumbling around to actually make sure anyone was safe. “But it’ll be fine, right? I mean, I’m sure you can take it down to the shop and it won’t be… terrible to fix,” maybe Nancy was too naive. She didn’t know how much cars were really priced at or how much it cost to fix them. Her parents were the ones who handled all of that so it was the one topic Nancy wasn’t knowledgeable in. 

Nancy smiled at his comment, a chuckle escaping her lips. Sometimes Cole made her jealous. She always had her head on her shoulders and every move she made was perfectly curated. Whether it be by her parents or her own headstrong nature. Nancy knew what she was doing which was a blessing in its own right, but she never just guessed. She could never be smart enough to just blindly know the right answer. She had to have logic behind it. A reason. “A crooked finger would be kind of cool,” she told him, teasing behind her voice. “But I guess we have to let Bach keep playing.”

“The Wheeler household?” Nancy took another bite from her sandwich and leaned back. “We’re the same as usual. I don’t think I’ve talked to my dad in days, I think we’re working on a new record,” she shrugged. “Oh, wait, you’ll totally freak at this!” She exclaimed, slapping Cole’s shoulder in excitement. “Thad is here. Like, in Hawkins.”

xx.

Cole groaned at the mention of the easy fix. In his mind, it should be an easy fix! Not that he was a mechanic, but he wasn’t an idiot. Most of the time... except for when he wrecked the car in the first place. “It will be fine,” he said, in his best attempt at a cheery voice. “But I took it to a mechanic and they quoted me $3,000 to fix it.” Cole ran a hand through his hair, conveniently not mentioning that he’d met her delightful boyfriend right after his stop at the mechanic. “You may be shocked to learn that the Music Center does not pay me enough to afford that,” he joked.

Laughing, Cole wiggled his finger. “Are you suggesting I become Captain Hook? Dramatic, sure, but not entirely practical.” It had always been easy for Cole to relax around Nancy. Maybe it felt comfortable because they’d just been in the same vicinity their whole lives. They certainly were always lumped together by their teachers-- nerd one meet nerd two-- though Cole couldn’t hold a candle to Nancy’s smarts in math or science. “Bach is high praise for someone who hasn’t heard me play since... what... our fifth grade recital?” he laughed, remembering the years Karen had forced Nancy to play piano though it was obvious to everyone else that Nancy hated it.

Cole coughed on a chunk of sandwich at Nancy’s news. Taking a second to swallow and collect himself, he shot Nancy a surprised glance. Oh my God! I totally had no idea. “Really?” he exclaimed. His acting wasn’t great, but it was believable-- or so he hoped. “What is Mr. Hamptons doing slumming it in Hawkins?” he asked, genuinely curious. Why had Thad come all this way?

cassieconrads​:

Cassie picked up a tape, putting it back carefully where she’d found it. The last thing she wanted to do was make more work for Cole, who seemed to be alone in the store at the moment. Still, she couldn’t help but lower her voice. “I don’t know, what I saw at the cemetery, I keep seeing it when I try to sleep. It’s like a dream, but honestly, probably more like a nightmare.” Maybe Cole had something like that going on for him, too. It was all she could hope to confirm that she wasn’t insane.

“Did you–did something like that happen to you, too? I think it was … it started raining, right? I think it was before that, but everything is so hard to remember,” she said, frustrated. “Did we really drink that much? I didn’t think we did, but this feels like the worst blackout of my life, and you can ask Nancy, there have been quite a few of those.”

xx.

Cole nodded along as she spoke, focusing his eyes on the records in front of him. He didn’t want her to see how unsettling her response was; he didn’t want to think about what it meant if other people saw scary shit, too. Stealing a glance at Cassie’s face, Cole frowned.

“I don’t know. I thought it was because I hit my head,” he confessed, flipping a cassette tape over in his hands, trying to keep his mind occupied. “But mine felt like a dream, too. Only... a really real one.” 

“I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again —”

— Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, from Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters (via luthienne)

goldenboyrichards​:

Being co-host of the camping trip, Adam had had to spend awhile checking in on everyone else when they got back. A lot of theories were being thrown around, as well as stories from the cabin, but he wasn’t paying much attention to them. They sort of went over his head. He didn’t know what grabbed him and Cole, but it had felt stronger than algae. He couldn’t be sure, though. 

Cole drifting away from the others wasn’t surprising to Adam. He understood needing a minute after all of that, and it was starting to get a bit cold out here now that the sun had gone down. Without asking, he passed Cole one of the hoodies he’d brought with him in his duffle bag. If anyone noticed that Cole was wearing his clothes, Adam was kind of beyond caring. He’d do anything that Cole needed him to do right now. 

“You didn’t make it up,” Adam assured with sad eyes, hating that what had happened to them was real. If only it could have been some fucked up nightmare or something. “I’m fine,” He assured, giving Cole a small smile. Honestly, he was worried. But there were no physical marks on him, and he and Cole had both eventually made it to shore. Adam would be okay - this was just another weird thing to add to the list of awful stuff happening around him lately. “I’m not going anywhere.” Adam glanced around, checking to make sure no one was paying too much attention to them. Once he was sure they were safe, he squeezed Cole’s knee in reassurance. 

As Cole began begging him to leave with him, Adam’s heart ached. That had always been the plan, hadn’t it? But Adam had fucked it up somehow three years ago, leaving Cole alone to pick up the pieces. And as much as Adam wanted to go now, he thought about his mother. His dad. Beth, Cindy. He couldn’t just leave them again. He couldn’t run away this time. When he and Cole left, they deserved to know in advance. “Cole,” Adam began sadly, squeezing his hand. “Cole, I want that so bad. I want us to go to California like we planned. I want that.” He assured him, voice steady because someone had to be. “But I can’t leave my family right now. My mom…I don’t think she’s sleeping much, these days. My dad calls home to check and make sure I’m still here every few hours when he’s at work. My sisters didn’t stop crying for hours when I finally came back,” Adam rambled, running a hand through his hair. “I just can’t go right now. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” 

xx.

When Adam passed Cole his hoodie, he smiled. Though it was a cliche, he loved wearing Adam’s clothes-- so much so that he’d periodically stolen dozens of shirts, hoodies, and jackets over the years. He brushed his hand against Adam’s and tugged the hoodie on, trying to act cool, calm, and collected when he was anything but. Both because he was freaking out about whatever had grabbed them in the lake and because Adam was here, looking at him with those eyes, and he wasn’t allowed to hold him.

“Kind of wish I did,” Cole said, with a sigh. He wished he had answers for Adam-- or rather, that his answers made any fucking sense. When Max had told him about the Upside Down and the Mindflayer and the fucked up shit happening in Hawkins, it had actually made him feel better, for a while. He finally knew that Adam hadn’t died hating him, that he was... possessed. But when Adam showed back up with a completely different story, any comfort Cole took in the truth was long gone. 

I’m not going anywhere. Cole closed his eyes for a moment and willed himself to believe it. Only, Adam couldn’t guarantee that. Cole couldn’t guarantee that either. Adam coming back both gave Cole a future again and threatened his utter demise. Losing Adam once had already destroyed him, but the thought of losing him twice felt like a death sentence. He did his best to muster up a smile, so as not to worry his boyfriend, but Cole knew better. Adam was always able to tell when something was up. 

Cole knew Adam’s answer before he elaborated, just based on the way he said his name. He nodded profusely along as Adam spoke, as guilt settled into his stomach. Of course Adam couldn’t leave his family now. He’d just gotten caught up in the moment, in his own fears, and was desperately trying to find something to cling to. “Of course, love. Of course,” he murmured, squeezing Adam’s hand back. “I’m sorry, that was... I was being emotional. I don’t want you to leave your family.” If anything, Cole wanted to bring Adam’s family with them. “I understand how they feel. I’m so scared of losing you again,” he finally admitted, rubbing circles on Adam’s hand with his thumb. 

@zccming

“I sorta spent the last few days hangin’ out with Elliot.”

zccming​:

“yeah, and you were only able to fracture it because i saved your ass first.” max huffed. now she understood how dustin felt all the time, no credit paid where credit was due. it wasn’t like she was expecting to be met with high praises or anything, but she had been anticipating a few more thank yous and a few less lectures. cole, at least, wasn’t going to lecture her. he was only going to be whiny, like always. “i’m surprised it isn’t already healed.” max snickered, then condescendingly sympathized, “must be real bad.” then as he made fun of her request for him quiet down, she smiled mockingly at him, “it’ll be quiet enough when you shut the fuck up.” 

despite the hostile words tossed around, max shuffled over to her dresser, grabbed her baggie, and got to rolling. following the mall, she was relieved to find that things seemed to remain normal between them. there wouldn’t be anything weird from her end, but it made her quietly pleased to see cole stand by his choice to share his truth with her. in time, she’d produced a joint for them. moving mostly in silence, max laid staring at her ceiling as they passed the j back and forth until she was lost in her thoughts, the sounds of the radio, and the bugs chittering outside of her thin walls.

cole had shared with her about adam, and all max could think about was how she couldn’t stop relating it to her feelings about eleven. of course, they had skimmed the surface over the billy of it all, but this was a new, equally difficult, perspective. it was horrible of her, but that didn’t mean anything weird, did it? maybe cole would know… thoroughly baked, max distantly asked, “do you ever think about how el has like, the perfect face?” did he even know what she looked like? “or how she’s like, the perfect girl. or perfect person even. it’s… crazy.” it wasn’t exactly explicitly emotional, but in her altered state, max was holding out hope that cole might just read her mind about what she was trying to convey. “i really missed her.” with even less tact than usual thanks to the weed, max somehow brutal and awkward, prodded at cole, “how does it feel when you think about adam? like …what does missing someone…like that…feel like…to you?” then she rasped, “it’s different from…my experiences.”

xx.

“It is real bad, thanks for your sympathy,” Cole retorted sarcastically, cradling his finger in his other hand. “I can’t play the piano with this shit. What else am I supposed to do at work?” he sighed, though his eyes twinkling with laughter. Cole blew Max a kiss with his good hand, playing along. “What, did you invite me over here to sit quietly in the corner? You got a dunce cap I can wear while I’m at it?” he teased, though he wouldn’t put it past her to actually sit him in the corner with a dunce cap, for the bit.

Cole gratefully took the joint and lifted it to his lips. “Cheers,” he breathed out, releasing a cloud of smoke. He still couldn’t believe he’d come out to Max. He hadn’t regretted it-- the opposite, he felt an ongoing sense of relief-- but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad on edge, waiting for any sign that Max treated him differently. He passed the joint to her and turned onto his side, studying her face. She acted like something was on her mind.

The mystery only lasted a few seconds more, until she started going on about El. Chuckling, Cole took the joint back from her, “I hadn’t really thought about her face. She’s nice enough, but not really my type.” The two grew quiet and Cole dared not vocalize his thoughts, his suspicion that Max maybe liked El as more than a friend. Maybe he was projecting, hoping that she could relate to him in that way. Then, to his surprise, her questions all but confirmed it. He took a drag of the joint, and then another, turning his response over in his head. “Not to be dramatic, but I think it felt like... I was missing part of myself. The part that only he knew, you know?” he looked down at his hands. “It still feels like that. Like I’m a fraud, like everything I do without him is just pretending.” Cole looked back up at Max, wondering, but not wanting to pressure her. “Maybe I need a shrink.”