Lowkeyasolo - Secretly A Solo

pjo spoilers

"we're here" grover that tree is at least three miles away what do you MEAN

there's something really emotional for me about the Percy Jackson TV series

When my brother died and I lost alot of him, I found an absolutely destroyed book which I didn't even know the title of because the front pages had been ripped out and the cover had fallen off. The first line was "Look, I didn't want to be a half blood".

My brother had three pjo books - the lighting thief, the sea of monsters, and the battle of the labyrinth. I consumed those books looking for my brother, but when my mother bought me new versions, including the titians' curse, which explained a lot I didn't know before, I found my favourite series instead and a feeling of being seen with the whole adhd and dyslexic thing. I stopped looking for him.

But when I think about it, I did find him. He had Percy's sarcasm, Jason's sense of honor and doing right (I know he's HOO but he counts and I love him), he definitely had dyslexia but the jury's out on the ADHD, Chiron's knowledge from experiences none of us want to live through but want the lessons from, Classrie's fight and anger, Annabeth's real-life intelligence and street smarts, Tyson's unwavering devotion to his sibling (s in my brother's case), Luke's rage at the system, Bianca's unfair lot but determination to make life the best it can be for their younger siblings.

My brother died at 14 in 2013. He never saw me even hit double digits in age, never saw me go to university, never read Heroes of olmpus. But he's here, I think, in some small way.

Now, ten years from when I lost my brother, there's a TV series of what was his favourite series and mine. It's like reading the books for the first time again and finding my brother again.

captain swan is so funny because killian is in the midst of a multi-hundred year revenge plot and then he meets emma and goes "oh. turns out i am still capable of love. yeah im gonna go do that instead"

I desperately needed a visual for the opening chapter of SOTR before reading it.

First chapter in, we're told about haymitch's shorts. In my mind, they are booty shorts that have COURTESY OF THE CAPTIOL right over the ass ✨️

These difficult men!

Leia is over your shit, Poe. 🔪🌟 In light of all the bad, we have Leia in Ep 9 to look forward to. I doodled this as therapy.

I'm aware we make fun of katniss for not realising everyone liked her and that peeta wasn't trying to play some strategy in the game, he's in love with you goddamnit, but

Katniss's entire existence up to that point since her father died was just. Survival. Not just for her but for the two family members she has left. It's been pointed out for ages that katniss, while being vague about so many details it's insane, will always tell the reader exactly what she ate and when and how much. She catalogues her days by when she retrieves food and when she sees her sister.

That's all she's had room for in her brain till then. Survival. No room for friends, romance, normal social behaviours longer than "geasey sae gets more than she should for that price because she's the only one who'll pay for wild dog".

Katniss my beloved traumatised girl, you should've had a breakdown sooner. Fuck the movies for leaving out her breakdown at the end. It was coming for a very long time.

grandpa haymitch!!!

my biggest epilogue headcanon is that i 100% believe haymitch decides to quit drinking when he finds out katniss is pregnant (because i REFUSE to accept he doesn’t live to see their kids). i can see him reaching the point in his life where he thinks katniss and peeta don’t need him anymore, and starts letting go of living. i imagine that lenore dove visits him in a dream, her hair gray and face wrinkled (but as beautiful to him as ever). she tells him that his time with his family is not over and they will need him more than ever.

then, he finds out katniss is pregnant, and everything changes. he finally sees an opportunity to start over. everyone he has ever loved has been hurt by him, but he refuses to burden another soul he loves. he loves katniss and peeta too much to break their trust like that yet again, and already sees himself holding their sweet baby in his arms. he can’t imagine stumbling around, slurring his words in front of someone so precious. it’s simply unthinkable.

he thinks of burdock. his adored daughter having her own child. he makes a silent promise to him to take care of his grand babies, something that was taken away from him.

so one night, soon after katniss and peeta break the news, he dumps all the white liquor down the drain. he ends up miserably sick, but just the thought of that baby or the sight of katniss’ growing belly is enough to keep him from going into town and buying more liquor.

he eventually comes back to life, and is more present in katniss and peeta’s lives than ever. he helps them put together the baby’s room, cares for katniss when she’s not feeling well while peeta’s working, and never comes back from town without something for the baby.

when katniss goes into labor, he spends the entire day pacing back and forth downstairs in the living room. he is so worried about her. the sound of labor pains is almost enough to put back a drink. almost.

when he goes upstairs and meets their baby girl, he breaks down. katniss and peeta have never seen him cry until this moment. all he can see are the two people he loves most in the world, wrapped up into a tiny bundle of dark curls and chubby cheeks. she looks just like katniss, remembering the days where burdock showed her off in the hob. he imagines the future he wanted with lenore dove, how they were going to have their own babies and grandbabies. she would be so proud of him, so happy he got to experience the love of being a father and a grandfather in this world.

as baby girl and her brother grow, haymitch becomes their favorite person. they love to ride on his shoulders, chase around with the geese, and play dress up with him (which is katniss’s favorite thing to watch - he looks ridiculous and can’t help but scowl at her as she laughs at him dressed up in a dress and tiara. he does it anyway, it makes the kids happy).

he eventually teaches the girl how to play piano (because he obviously learned it to honor lenore dove), and brings her a bundle of wildflowers after her first recital. he is there for every birthday, every school performance, every sport event, and every sunday (at the very least) for dinner. he walks with katniss every afternoon to pick them up from school, and carries the boy on his shoulders while he holds the girl’s hand.

he loves her beautiful voice and her kindness toward everyone she meets. he loves his curiosity, his belly laugh, and the mop of blonde curls on the top of his head. he often finds himself ruffling them, just as he would do to sid so long ago.

they remind him of all the innocent souls he loved and lossed. sid, louella, ampert, lou lou; all too innocent for the creulty of the world. the difference is, they are out of the capitol’s reach.

finally, he is not defined by his faults. he is not the rebel tribute who got his family and his girl killed, a victor, a mentor, or a drunk. he is grandpa haymitch. loved to death by two little kids and their parents, just for being him.

lenore dove often visits him in his dreams, telling him she’s so proud of him, and to keep living for her in this world where the sun rises on days full of love, hope, and peace.

his eyes were coke zero brown