Random bystander "Why is Augustine refusing to sit down?"
Antonio "Abuelita was telling everyone about how Abuelito's favorite thing to do with her was carry her around, even when she was pregnant, so then Mariano decided to pick up Dolores and spin her around and they got all lovey dovey. Then papa lifted mama up over her head and made her smile so then Camilo showed off that he could pick up Mirabel and rock her, after that Luisa came by and picked up me Tio Bruno and Isa, not to show off, she didn't know what was going on she was carrying a dresser with one hand and we were standing in the way."
Bystander "Okay but...?"
Antonio "So Tio Augustine tried to pick up Tia Julietta but while he was walking he fell into a beehive and while being chased ran to water... A jellyfish sting him on the butt."
Bystander "Ah"
Antonio "But Don't worry Tia is making nachos!"
LIKE THE MINTS HHAHAHAA
I was asked for more, I shall provide.
Pedro lay on the cold frozen ground, his wails had long since been ceased for his voice had grown to hoarse to even whimper. "Pedrito", his beloved wife had whispered softly "Please come inside; the girls, they miss you, I miss you." Ah yes girls, not kids, not since. NO! Bruno, he, he had been right beside him they were almost there, just, just a few more steps and. CRACK Pedro should have seen the damned hole, if he had seen the hole his ankle would not have broke he would have been able to keep carrying Julieta, and Bruno...
His Mojito would still be alive. "Please mi amore they are scared, they need there Papa, the villagers." "Never!" He screeched so loud he was sure his throat would bleed. "Those cowards, those leaches, They took everything from us!" "Pedro." Alma stated in shock in all there many years together he had never raised his voice to her, though she conceited if there ever was a time it would be now. "They have no where else to go."
"And we have no son, our daughters, they have no brother, Bruno is dead because those pathetic bums ran when we needed them, they will get nothing from us!" "It was only then Pedro realized the house. "What?" He asked in awe and confusion "Mi vida" stated Alma when you are gifted a miracle you do not question why, eat this." She stated handing him what looked to be an arepa. He hadn't realized how hungry he'd truly been and after just one bite like magic his ankle was fixed. "Come inside, I'll tell you everything." Pedro reluctantly followed her, as he stepped inside what could only be described as a mansion atop of a hill he saw the masses who were once on higher ground, who looked down on them. "I swear to you Brunito, your name will not be tarnished by moochers ever again."
Bruno's sacrifice au.
In this au the family flees much later in life when the triplets are around fourteen. Julieta is so sick she can't move or even open her eyes. Pepa has horrendous sunburns and is constantly crying from the pain. Alma isn't strong enough to carry them both and is begging Pedro to take the kids and run while he tries to carry them all.
And then Bruno does the unthinkable, he goes to the guards hands in the air, defenceless, only hoping to slow them down. The combined grief of his family and his sacrifice allow the miracle to happen and in this version gifts are much less doled out, Pedro believes his son died because the cowards of the village refused to help and insists that his daughters and later grandchildren only use them in exchange for profit and dislikes "giving handouts to the unworthy" He is extraordinary protective of Mirabel and built her her own room insisting she is a sign that the townsfolk are unworthy of the families help. It is only after they come together that Pedro acknowledges his grief and begins to befriend the others.
A supervillain. One almost no her believed was able to be defeated long term. Announced to the entire heroic organization that they're joining the team. Turns out this villain's mortal, completely human child was dated to become a hero. Knowing that there's never a truly happy ending for those do-gooders and that their kid would never last amongst basically gods that walk on Earth the villain dons a new costume and turns their offspring into the greatest superhero that ever lived. A single line is whispered to their sleeping little one one night. "If it means protecting you. Then I will become a hero too."
Mirabel, rushes in panicking. "On no on no no no no"
Augustin "Mijita what's wrong?"
Mirabel, sobbing "I messed up, I messed up so bad!"
Luisa "I'm on it just show me the body and I'll take care of it."
Mirabel "But.."
Pepa "Shh shh darling, Tia will wash away all the evidence."
Antonio, smiling, surround by pigs "Did you know my friends can consume every part of a human other than teeth and hair."
Isa, very matter of fact, "We can bury those in my room."
Dolores, slyly "From what I've been hearing this person was planning to leave the encanto in secret for awhile now."
Camilo, shifting into multiple people "And trust me, we can make that bealivable."
Julieta, reassuringly "And if anyone asks you with me all day helping make Gelatina Negra okey."
Felix, happily "But trust me no one will ask."
Bruno, simply "And if bad comes to worst pin the blame on me, I'm already old and hated, plus everyone thinks I killed that goldfish."
Mirabel "I didn't kill anyone! I accidentally broke a hole in Casita!"
Alma "Then get the spackle and stop forcing us to come up with plans on the spot."
(The ghost of Pedro is laughing his ass off.)