Lyssrambles - I Was Born A Ramblin' Girl

I tell you I love you All you can say is “Why?”

“It’s not fair!” “It’s not fair!!”

Echoing in my mind The cries of a child Not allowed to be a child 

heaven forgive me for my mistake

I know better I just ache for it so deeply I am willing to risk my sanity

Collected

You collect hearts    the way others collect shells Shiny hearts full of love    you are too scared to return Holding them to your ear    to admire the way they admire you Then back on display    until your ego needs another stroke There my heart sits in your display case,    dripping love and devotion Among the other trophies,    stolen by the heart collector

#need something to grab onto #to ground me #feeling lost #hold my hand #before i float away

I pray one day you will drunk text me So you can finally find the freedom to express all those things you’ve locked up deep down

I want...

I want to rail. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to yell out horrible things about him and make him feel as useless and broken as I do.

I want his arms around me. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me it will be okay. I want to believe it will be okay. I want to be safe. And secure.

But no one hears my wants as they fall directly into the blackness which was once my heart.

Time again to box it all up. Put it away. Pretend I don’t feel. Time to lose myself in mundanity. Hide from passion. Give up on hope.