How Do You Know You’re Of The Deep End And Have Fallen Into The Abyss Of A Fandom? Well When You And

I've been obsessed with Jiang Cheng since halfway through my first watch of cql, and here's why. He always keeps doing better than I expect him to.

(wow, this got long. rest is under the cut!)

He's introduced as the brother-killer, the ruthless sect leader with a reputation for being merciless. Then cut to the flashback, a Jiang Cheng who is fifteen, surrounded by his sister and brother and happy about it, occasionally doing stupid teenager things, trying so very hard to be Ideal Heir, while Wei Wuxian is the prodigy that keeps stealing his thunder effortlessly. And you go, "oh, I know this story. It's a tragedy, because these brothers loved each other once, but one's ambition will eventually breed jealousy which will fester into hate and end, tragically, in the death of the better half." It's Cain and Abel! You've seen how it ends, it's the first scene you see, of course that's where it's going!

And then you see how the three siblings help each other survive a frankly horrible and abusive household. They try to do for each other what their parents couldn't; Yanli tries to be their mother, Jiang Cheng doesn't believe the rumours about Wei Wuxian being jfm's illegitimate son or hold it against him as he very easily could've learnt to from his mother, and Wei Wuxian does his darned best to get jfm to acknowledge and love his son as he does for Wei Wuxian.

You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop!! Yunmeng burns, Jiang Cheng chokes his brother in the rain, and you think this is it, this is where it finally breaks. But he sticks with his brother and sister, he makes some stupid decisions in his grief and pays dearly for it. When he wakes up without a core he is broken, his 'ambition' is destroyed, and you remember him choke his brother and think this is it, and then... it isn't. Other than the one grieving rant in the rain, he never blames his brother for their loss, never demands that he fix it all. When Wei Wuxian does come with a solution, Jiang Cheng doesn't act like it's something he was owed. It's his brother, his brilliant genius brother, who miraculously fixed this impossible thing! He's the most Jiang of them all, of course he achieved the impossible!

And then he's the young sect leader in a bloody war, needing to win, needing to prove his worth and his sect's worth at every turn. This is where he becomes the ruthless, powerful man we meet in the first few episodes! Only.... he finds Wen Qing, who is the enemy in the eyes of the Jianghu, and offers to protect her (only her because he knows his limits, he can't protect all her people and his own, and his duty to his sect is first). He goes looking for his brother, months on end, haggard to the bone.

Then Wei Wuxian shows up wielding a power that's the worst taboo in their world, a power frighteningly similar to the power-drunk villain that they war is being waged against! He's doing unspeakable things, terrible torture in the name of revenge! Ah, so this is what it finally is! The moment they finally fall out for good, where Jiang Cheng cannot abide to tarnish his sect's reputation with Wei Wuxian's, and their love turns to hate.

But.... Jiang Cheng sees what he's done, and the first thing he does is to hug him tight. He asks about Wei Wuxian not carrying his sword, but even after the diplomatic nightmare of a war council, Jiang Cheng is just worrying. It's the most open, the most honest we've seen him so far, and he is concerned for his brother. He shuts it down when Jin Zixun tries to pick a fight. He takes responsibility for the person everyone's wary of, because that's his brother and he trusts him! He's hiding things, yes, but one day he will be ready to talk and Jiang Cheng will wait till then.

Then the war's won (by Wei Wuxian, of course!) and he has a sect to rebuild. And his brother is not at his side. First he's slacking off and drinking around town, then he runs away with the Wens to the Burial Mounds. It's terrible for the sect's and Jiang Cheng's own precarious position in Jianghu. Surely, this is the last thread of Jiang Cheng's love for his brother, the beginning of the man we were introduced to? But it's fucking not! Yes, he's frustrated. Yes, he's mad. And yet, he doesn't force his sister into a diplomatically advantageous marriage (which I strongly believe is the bare minimum of being a decent human being, but is something that wouldn't have been a questionable or dishonourable thing for him to do in the culture and world this story is set in) because she is not a pawn and he respects her choice above the politics! He tries to defend his First Disciple, his brother, and is overshadowed by much more powerful leaders who are bigoted and/or afraid of his power. And when it all goes to shit, they fight! This is the end of it, surely? But no! It's all fake! They fight, make up a lie about how the Yunmeng Jiang has supressed Wei Wuxian and his Wens in the Burial Mounds so they can live without being under attack for however long, and then have shady meetups to discuss their nephew's name!!

In the carnage of Nightless City, their sister dies at his hands, and the horrible realisation dawns that this is what pushes them over the brink, literally. And then!! AND THEN!!!!! EVEN THEN IT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR HIM TO KILL HIS BROTHER!!! The first scene was a lie, WEI WUXIAN HAD TO THROW HIMSELF OFF!!!!!! And when he's finally back, what does Jiang Cheng do? Kill him? ban him from ever returning to their home? No! He wants to drag him back home and make him apologise, explain himself!!

A lot of this is very focused on the brothers, but even outside of that, Jiang Cheng keeps subverting the expectations that the story builds for him right in the beginning. For all the talks of 'disciplining' his nephew (which could unquestionably entail some form of corporal punishment, as we see in other parts of the story) and the childhood Jiang Cheng himself had, the idea of his Jiujiu raising his hand against him is unthinkable to the point of incredulity for Jin Ling. When Jin Ling has his breakdown over Suihua on the Lotus Pier docks, I was full bracing myself for Jiang Cheng to yell at him for crying in public without any shame or dignity, but what does he do? Calls his nephew to his side and demands to know who made him cry, so he can fucking wreck them for daring to do that! He has a mere day to process the Golden Core reveal, and after all the yelling, he actually apologises to his brother!!

Then, in the mother of all sucker-punch moments, we find out that the one grief-riddled, frustrating moment of apparent stupidity whose domino effect this entire thing has been, was in fact Jiang Cheng willingly sacrificing himself, sect be damned, to save his brother and sister. And like!! How do you have such a character who simultaneously is and is not what he seems to be!!!

I (and a lot of the audience) immediately played into the simple brotherhood-destroyed-by-jealousy plot that it seems to be at first, but that's the intention! The entire story keeps showing how misleading, how vicious rumours can be and how horribly it can affect who someone is in the eyes of society. We see this happen in the story, of course, but the narrative also relies on the audience to make the same mistake, to take the tropes that seem obviously implied at the start, and then unravels the true complexity of the story as it moves forward. We got played by the narrative and it was so worth it!! Wei Wuxian is the prime example, of course, but cql (and mdzs from what I gather, though I haven't read the books) does it with such nuance and brilliance for Jiang Cheng, how do you not immediately lose your entire mind about it for the rest of forever!!!!!

this.

Sometimes the line between aromanticism and polyamory can be blurry as HELL and I think the anime Romantic Killer truly understands that.

yea .

the way p&p 2005 said: here's one of the most beloved enemies to lovers romances of all time, we don't need to change anything but here's keira knightley and the most socially awkward mr darcy you have ever seen. we're going to sprinkle in a hand touch and an almost kiss during an argument following a love confession in the pouring rain. what excellent boiled potatoes. yearn. you will think about this movie every day for the rest of your life.

Just had a thought that geminis dress could also be one of those loop dresses were the dress is connected to teh sleeves , atleast aesthetic wise

redesigning star dresses part 1!

notes and individual pieces below <3

keep this in mind i love the og stardresses! i just wanted to challenge myself and i’m an inspiring fashion designer!!! my goal was to create dresses that reflect the spirits and u could easily match them up.

these were my initial sketches, i wanted every dress/outfit to have a different colour and silhouette to make them more recognisable.

aries ~

- pink was the obvious choice for a colour. I didn’t want to use any major black like in the og design because aries design is so light and bright!

- i really think the og stardress hair is lacking. A fun fluffy 80s hair adds to the whole sheep aesthetic and creates a different silhouette to other designs.

- the 80s hair also inspired a more 80s look with fluffy legwarmers and big hoop earrings.

- i also wanted to bring in those pink pompoms on the side of aries dress so i made them star shaped and put them in lucy’s hair

taurus ~

- why put her in a bikini if she’s a cowboy??? this haunts me everyday.

- I couldn’t put her in mainly black and white cos that’s virgo i comprised and landed on a brown.

- for inspiration it was pretty obvious to go with a cowboys and the wild west! i always disliked the one leg pants her og design has so i modified it to a cut out.

- her og design was a mix of the aquarius and scorpio one and it always didn’t stand out to me, so i think by exaggerating the cowboy aesthetic it stands out much more.

gemini ~

- her og design is actually one my favs. so i really only made minor changes

- the colours stood out against other dresses and were easily identified as gemini. the dual colour symmetrical dress is a great way to reflect the double spirit.

- Gemini is a pretty symbol spirit so to reflect them i used circular shapes and organic lines. i changed the head piece mainly because i struggled drawing it but i realised it made the design too top heavy anyways.

- i extended the dress width and length mainly for silhouette reasons (she wears so many skin tight dresses) as well as to give a nod to the dresses the alternate geminis wear.

cancer ~

- my issue with cancer star dress isn’t the dress itself. I actually love the dress in the manga. it’s the colour. WHY IS GREEN?!?

- if it weren’t for the symbol i wouldn’t be able to match this dress with cancers design, so it had to change.

- other than that there’s no major differences, the ribbon tie is meant to resemble scissors, i love the claw shape hair ties in the og design so i brought them back and i brought the stripes in cancers top to her bow.

leo ~

- i was inspired by beauty and the beast, in the movie the beast kinda looks like lion.

- i swapped the yellow and black in the og design since it has a pretty similar colour story to virgos dress. The og kinda gets lost next to leo since the black doesn’t have variation and leo is in a deep black too.

- i wanted to make her hair bigger like a lions mane and curled around her face.

As someone who has watched a few Arthurian adaptations, I was immediately intrigued by „Gwen & Art are not in love“ by Lex Croucher.

I mean ur telling me we get the Arthurian myths in combination with a medieval queer love story ?!

Even though I nowadays tend to have problems starting printed literature this one flew by and I finished reading in the span of a day and a bit.

To start not only is the story great but I’m also a big fan of the cover art <3

We get not only the exploration of the queer love stories between Gwen & Bridget and Art & Gabriel but also growing Friendships and some battle action fitting for the Middle Ages.

Next to the fighting it does also have some minor alcohol abuse and partly deals with death. And since it’s the Middle Ages and people just love hating other people, the mentions of queerness etc are not always positive.

Im personally a big fan of how all the relationships evolve and the people change :)

Spoilers for the plot of the book!

Little rant from me :|

Although it was a great read and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, I must admit that the typical plot of:

character a either did something accidentally wrong or is said to have done something wrong (although that’s false) and character b immediately believing that and now judging/having a grudge against/hating character a. Which then only confuses character a who doesn’t get any information from anyone around them to what they’re said to have done wrong and is jsut lost and hurt. Especially after things are jsut starting to look right between the characters.

It’s not that it is that unbelievable that it happens (it’s here and there) but more that sometimes it just annuls like every character growth the two or more characters had together and after there is never really a apology or an acknowledgment of this being hurtful to character a, since it jsut confirms taht character b would be easily able to believe this about character a. And my biggest fight with this trope is that the friend of always tend to just side with character b although they’re often both they’re friends or even character a‘s friends.

Luckily it’s not that big of a part on the book but it tends to really ick me when reading something which is really great.

Personally I just loved how Arthur helped both siblings more or less take some responsibility and self control for their own desires and life wishes. It was interesting to see the differences in how they acted around being queer, since they were raised very similar but oh so different.

Also just some special mention of my boy Sidney: he’s not only the most loyal person in the story but also is just a really amazing best friend to Arthur all while he also has his own little love story :)

It may be extremely simple but I loves the conversation Art and Sidney had about the pendant („it’s cold and black jsut like my heart“ „no, your heart is soft and yellow, like marzipan“😭)

Some other favourites of mine: we have a map of Camelot :), Bridget’s witch friend, the court magician, Excalibur nine 🙂‍↕️, everyone in the castle thinking Gwen and art were getting intimate, Gabriel’s more or less obsession with birds, background gay King Arthur/Lancelot, Agnes <3

Sometimes it was really frustrating how oblivious and sheltered Gwen was but seeing that she had not had any friends (not sure if it was explained) and also did not leave the castle, it seems realistic enough that she turned out like this. Still hard to read at a few instances. But I could definitely see how she and Gabriel are siblings as they both are really afraid of dancing out of line.

Also Arthur definitely had enough self loathing and alcohol issues for the both of them. Like, my guy, when are u sober. And also they both were immature when they were younger since they’re were children (duh) but also like how should gwen have known taht ur dad is a fcking ass (just my opinion )

I definitely do love all of the main cast so that is not meant to bash any one of them. They’re just realistic and all have flaws (although I’m not sure about Bridget she is pretty perfect :3 only female knight, noble ladies tend to fall in love with her, strong and capable, knows her boundaries (especially with not wanting to be treated like a secondary thought by her lovers)and she wields Excalibur nine) and good features. :)

Not always the biggest fan of open endings but I think here it does work well although I would have loved to see the speech and followed reaction 🤷🏻 maybe we would have seen Merlin and Morgana get back from their sabbatical hm

Spoiler ending here!

So I know it sounds negative at a few instances but do read the book it’s great. I think it’s a very easily enjoyable story that really pulls u in and makes u feel as part of the group. :))

Thsi is not eloquent or the best review in any way just me somehow bringing my feelings and thoughts to screen :) 🪼🪻

Okay so extremely random probably but please someone indulge me

(This has spoilers for final destination I guess)

I just watched the first Final Destination Movie w/ @emiko-fan-2podcasterin and before we saw the last death happen, an idea came to mind:

An au were instead of Carter dying at the end, they get just away from the situation in Paris and are now more or less bonded together. This entails moving in together, going to college together, having same classes etc etc , because they are trying to infinitely avoid the others deaths by having a constant cycle of saving going on.

So now they are like „Welp I guess we’re stuck with eachother ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ“

So everyone around them: teachers, students, neighbours […] only knows them as a trio and u can not understand any circumstances find one without the other two.

Now this whole thing is a comedy sitcom with a bit of catastrophe a la Murphy’s law and a hilariously casual way they handle it after the time that passed.

Also in the humble opinion of my friend and I: they are in a poly relationship like at least after a few years it won’t just be Alex&Clear and Carter anymore but Alex&Clear&Carter (no I don’t take criticism on this)

I will sadly not be writing the whole thing cuz I always get stuck when writing very easily and I don’t want anyone (not even myself) to have to wait for my writing :|

Would love to hear some opinions on this since I don’t even know how existing the Final destination fandom in 2024 is especially since my knowledge of it is only from the first movie :)

(P.s. I loved Seeing Ali Larter in this personally since I only knew her from legally blonde which is one of my favourite movies :))) )

I need you to know that I did say that word for word and @emiko-fan-2podcasterin can thank me for this

Watching psych for the first time with my bestie @m-le , we’re on ep 3 and…she really doesn’t like Henry Spencer…like she absolutely hates him for the way he treated Shawn as a child…and yeah like…it’s valid but I’m just so torn bc I know how he’s gonna be later on 😅

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

Gedanken meinerseits zu die drei ???

Falls die drei sich je fürs College oder so trennen müssten, gibt es zwei Optionen:

1. sehr dramatische Situation, viele Tränen, viel Depression, viel alles, sie gehen zu dritt zur Therapie für mehrere Termine, löst sich freundlich und einigermaßen gut

2. auch Drama, Streit, Schuldgefühle, schlechte Kommunikation und die ganzen schlechten Seiten von deren basically co-dependency, reden vllt für eine längere Zeit nicht

In beiden fällen gibt es deren weirde co-dependence aber in einem Fall klären sie dies bevor es zum brechpunkt wird (weil co-dependency nicht healthy ist auf langzeit)

Am realistischsten ist es aber sowieso dass die ne WG machen und zumindest in der gleichen Stadt College/Arbeit haben (finde ich zumindest). Aber auch da müssen sie natürlich irgendwann ihre Probleme ansprechen 🤷🏻

Noch ein Gedanke

Habe die Rewe Edition Die drei ??? Bücher gelesen, welche jetzt nicht super charakterisieren aber

Man hätte zum Treffen zwischen Peter und Jeffrey auch Verabredung oder halt Treffen sagen können aber es wurde explizit das Wort Date genutzt

Ich spreche nur das aus was auf den Seiten steht (don’t boo me, im right)

Weiß aber auch nicht wie Canon diese Bücher sind . But still they exist with very queer undertones✋🏻

Und auch zu den Editionen: ich liebe Ellen, sie taucht zwar nur kurz auf aber sie ist so relatable . Sehr viel Liebe an Ellen und an Mandy die drei Sätze hatte und im Customer Service arbeitet, es ist nicht einfach🫶

Das war’s für heute

Disclaimer: Ich weiß nicht doll viel und bin müde also falls was nicht stimmt… der Mülleimer steht neben der Tür (/j)

It’s also basically all @emiko-fan-2podcasterin fault so… :)