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Always There Masterlist

The masterlist to my series Always There, a Severus Snape x Professor!Fem!Potter!Reader story.

Last Updated: January 13th, 2024

Summary: Y/N Potter was left with a baby to care for after her brother and sister-in-law were murdered by Voldemort. One person was there for her, a person she didn’t expect but soon became her comfort person, Severus Snape. During Harry’s third year at Hogwarts and her third year as Herbology professor, a few old friends come around again. Y/N has to handle the feelings of these old friends being around again as well as handle her feelings for a certain potions master all while she tries to hide these things from her godson.

Pairings: Severus Snape x Female Professor Reader, Potter!Reader x friend!Remus, Sister!Reader x James Potter, Potter!Reader x Friend!Sirius

Series Warnings: Female Reader, Potter Reader (No physical description of reader) probably shitty writing, OOC Snape, Harry grows up in a loving environment, mentions of death and murder, poorly written angst, Remus is a shitty friend, poorly written pining,

Authors Note: I do have a taglist for this series so leave a comment or something in my asks to be added if you would like to! I upload sporadically and whenever I have the time to, so mostly on the weekends I am the most active!

If there is anything you notice mistakes in any of the chapters, please do not hesitate to let me know! I usually don't have the time to proofread everything and even when I do I still miss some things so let me know! Enjoy this series!

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

okay, first off, these are amazing, the series always makes me sob sm, like with each chapter i think i cry more and more, secondly this had to be one of my favourites writings ever it’s literally so well written and the story line/plot is EVERYTHING, thirdly I just love how everything worked out in the end, with Draco living with them and everyone living together and JUST UGHH. Everything about this is so perfect and we’ve been blessed 💗💗

Come Back, Be Here Masterlist

Come Back, Be Here Series (complete) - links to every chapter available within each works

One Shots/Blurbs Sirius hears of your death (CBBH hurt no comfort) Can We Try? (padvix's first time after the war 18+) Can We Hold Hands? (vix + James go shopping) 🫧 Bedtime Foul (CBBH Sirius x reader raising their kiddos) Vix's scar (CBBH padvix + Lily + MoonWater tell the kids about the war) You're not my real mum! (padvix deal with a temper tantrum from Draco) Trip to Diagon Alley (CBBH jily + padvix take the boys shopping for Hogwarts) What's One More? (CBBH padvix + family holiday special) Grounded (CBBH raising the golden trio blurb) 🫧

CBBH universe Remus x GN!Muggle Barista padvix moodboard

Chats/Q&A's Sirius & Regulus' relationship The Orb Borders The Black/Potter Children What was Draco's last name? Who all lived in the Potter Manor?

🫧 = elle’s favourites

I'm not mad at you

TW: Mentions of suicide (it is the topic, but there's nothing too graphic) So that being said, this topic is very sensitive (like most of my writing stuff you shouldn't be surprised if you've been here before) Anyway, please, if you get triggered easily do not read this, or at least be careful

Word count: 2 900

“Jamey?” Remus asked shakily, coming to stand next to James' bed, who was currently the only one beside him in their dorm. “I-i think I need help.”

“What's up, moony?” He asked, sitting up on his bed, immediately getting worried as he looked at Remus. He was shaking all over, skin pale and eyes wide, then he glanced at his hands, seeing blood. “There's blood. Remus, why's there blood?” James asked before he could answer.

“I- um. Don't feel well.” He said, closing his eyes, trying to get rid of the spinning in his head, though it did nothing to help the way he was swaying on his feet. Soon he felt James' hands on his shoulders, he opened his eyes, trying to focus on James' worried gaze.

“Okay, c'mon sit down, I don't want you to pass out.” He said, guiding Remus to sit down on his bed. James bit his lip, looking over Remus, when his eyes landed on his arms, he was starting to panic, the sleeves of his jumper were stained with blood. “What's going on, re?”

“Sirius is mad at me.” He said unhelpfully, looking at James as if it was the most obvious thing.

“That's not-.” He started but stopped himself mid-sentence, knowing that wouldn't help with anything. “I know he is. But did something happen today? Or now?” Remus shook his head, closing his eyes again. “Okay, okay. Can I take a little look at your arms? You're bleeding.”

Remus didn't answer, but James did it anyway, he needed to know why there was blood. He gently pulled up the sleeve of Remus' jumper on his left arm. He couldn't exactly see where all the blood was coming from, it looked like there were many cuts. He had never liked blood, and it made him a little uneasy, but he kept looking, he needed to know. He turned Remus' hand over, there was even more blood dripping from around his wrist, but he couldn't see the wound, not clearly at least.

James was definitely starting to panic now. He quickly checked his other arm, there wasn't nearly as much blood but still some. “Hey, rem, how 'bout we go see Poppy quickly? I think she'll be able to help you, yeah?”

“No, no.” Remus whispered, shaking his head. “Please James n-no.”

“It's good for you, yeah? I'll go quickly grab something, and then we're going.” He said, getting up from the floor, he went to the bathroom, seeing a blade on the floor but ignored it for now and just grabbed a roll of bandages. He quickly wrapped it around the biggest wound on his left hand, hoping it would help at least a little.

“C'mon Remus, please? Let's go.” He said, and Remus looked up at him, his eyes looked hazy and unfocused, making James even more worried. He took Remus' hands into his and pulled him up from the bed, leading him into the hospital wing, even though he was very much against it.

He knocked onto the locked door, hoping madam Pomfrey wouldn't already be sleeping, since it was already late. It didn't take long until the door opened and madam Pomfrey peeked into the corridor, first looking at James and then her eyes landed on Remus, taking in his appearance. He was swaying just slightly, he looked very pale, and then she saw the blood stained bandages.

“What's going on, Mr Potter?” She asked as he let them in, gesturing onto the nearby bed where Remus could sit in.

“I-i don't know. He didn't say. There was so much blood and I thought this was better than um...”

“Well you made the right decision.” She said, quickly glancing at him. “Go take a seat in the corridor, please.” James nodded, though he didn't want to leave Remus alone, but he knew he couldn't stay, he couldn't just say no to madam Pomfrey, so he slipped out of the door, closing it behind him.

“What happened, Remus?” She asked gently, trying to look him in the eyes, but his eyes were very unfocused as he stared at a spot on the floor. She started to pull up Remus' sleeves to see where the blood was coming from. Remus just shook his head.

“I'm going to quickly clean these up and close them.” She explained, taking out her wand, starting to apply the spells she had just told him about. “Then, I'm going to put some bandages on to keep them clean, and I'd like you to stay here for a bit, just to make sure everything is okay.”

Remus didn't answer, but didn't fight back about her treating him, or doing the spells that she knew would hurt at least somewhat. But she kept talking to him, knowing from the countless times she had treated him after full moons that he liked to know what was going on. That he didn't like if he didn't know what was done to him. “You've lost some blood, dear, you must feel dizzy, no? But I have this potion that'll help with it, then it'll be good that you get some rest.” Pomfrey said, finishing up bandaging his arms.

She summoned the small vial of potion. “Now just a warning, this tastes horrible, but it'll make you feel better, think you can take this?” Remus looked up, blinking a few times before nodding, and she nodded, handing him the vial. His hands were shaking slightly as he brought it up to his lips, swallowing the horrible tasting liquid. “Alright, I'm going to give you something to help you sleep. I'll come check up on you a little later.”

Remus nodded slightly, accepting the next thing she gave to him. “Just a small sip is enough.” She instructed, and he did as he was told, handing the bottle back to her. Remus laid down, and Pomfrey pulled the blanket over him before getting up and going to the hall.

She sat down on the bench next to James, who looked up at her with teary eyes. “He's okay, Mr. Potter.” James nodded quickly, wiping his eyes. “Do you know any reason for this? Has anything happened lately, has he been acting differently?”

“No, I don't think so. He said nothing happened when I asked. I-i mean he and Sirius were fighting, even he said that, but- but they always are so I don't know why he did that.” He said, trying to think if something had been different. “He doesn't talk, I don't know.”

“That's okay, don't worry.” She said with a small smile. “Could you talk me through what happened before you came here?”

“Of course, yeah.” he said, running a hand through his hair and fixing his glasses on his nose. “He came from the bathroom and asked for help and I asked him why there's blood, and he just said he didn't feel well.” James tried to explain. “I asked him if something happened, but he just said that Sirius is mad at him and that nothing happened. He tried to fight me on coming here, but I was scared he'd pass out -”

“You did good. Go and try to get some sleep, Mr. Potter.” James nodded, looking at her. “If something comes up, please come see me. And, if you see Mr. Black, ask him to come by in the morning.”

“Okay.”

…

“Good morning, Remus.” She smiled, pulling a chair next to his bed. “How are you feeling?”

“M’tired.”

“That's to be expected, any pains?” Remus shook his head. “That's good, but like before, no need to hide the pain for me. Just tell me and I'll give you medicine.” She reminded, like she did every time after a full moon. “Now, can you tell me what happened?” He looked away, shaking his head. “Okay.” She said with a nod. “Your friend was very worried about you last night, do you remember?”

“He always panics.” Remus said quietly. “No matter what it is.”

Poppy smiled slightly. “Do you want to talk with me?” Remus shook his head. “That's okay. I'll check back in later, but is there anyone you want to see or talk to?” He shook his head again, biting his lip. “A house elf will bring you breakfast soon.” she said, starting to get up.

“Y-you mean I don't get to go?”

“No, I'm sorry about that, but I'd like to keep you here for at least for a little while.” Remus nodded slightly, watching as she got up from her chair, and into her office.

He quickly wiped his eyes, turning to lay on his side and curling up to himself. He felt tired and weird, he wasn't even sure what the feeling was. He felt guilty too, and his arms were burning horribly against the bandages. He fell asleep after a while, ignoring when madam Pomfrey tried to wake him up to eat breakfast. The next time, he woke up to someone opening the curtains around his bed, and the legs of the chair scraping against the floor.

He slowly opened his eyes, seeing James sitting in the chair he had heard. “Hi rem.” He smiled slightly. “Poppy said you're not up for talking, but she also said you're gonna be here a while, so I brought you a book.” James rambled, handing the book to Remus.

“Thank you.” He whispered, setting the book down onto the bedside table. “Why are you here?”

“I brought you the book.” He said simply. “She asked to see Sirius, so I thought to pop to see you and bring you the book.” he said as Remus just continued looking at him, knowing there was another reason for him to be here.

“Why does she want to see Sirius?”

“I don't know, rem.” he said. “She didn't say, just asked me to ask him to come by, last night.”

“Oh.” He looked away from James, closing his eyes for a moment. “What did he say? To you.”

“Nothing, just followed me. I think he was worried.” Remus shook his head. “He still cares about you, y'know. He- he did say he'd like to see you, but then he said that you probably don't want that.”

“Okay.” he whispered. “Can you go, please?”

“Mm yeah, of course. I'll come tomorrow, okay? I can bring you something if you'd like.”

“It's fine.” James nodded, getting up from his chair. “James?” He whispered before he could leave, and James turned to look at him. “Wanna see him.” he whispered even more quietly, James nodded with a smile.

When James left, he picked up the book, just to see what it actually was, of course he had brought the most boring one out of the books he owned. He laid down on his side, wanting to sleep, but he couldn't find himself to fall asleep again. So, he just laid there listening to the faint conversation he could hear in Pomfrey’s office, the voices sounded familiar, but he wasn't exactly sure how he knew them. Then that died down too, and after a moment the curtains opened again.

Remus looked over his shoulder, seeing Sirius, he sat up, blinking a few times. “M’sorry, I-i can go but um James -”

“No, no, don't go, please.” He said quickly and Sirius smiled, closing the curtain before sitting down onto the chair that was still pulled up to the bed. “Why- why are you here?”

“Poppy asked.” He said, pulling one of his knees up to the chair, wrapping his arms around it, resting his chin on it. “She asked if anything had changed lately in your life, if anything had happened, if me or James noticed anything.” Remus nodded. “She said she's going to talk to Minnie as well, probably lily too and Pete, but I'm not sure.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her the truth, Rem.” He said. “I told her what happened, that we fought and haven't talked and that- Nevermind. What happened, Remus? I was so fucking worried when James came back crying, and then I saw what our bathroom looked like. I was so worried, and I couldn't even come to see you cause-”

“Sorry.” He whispered, his voice cracking. “It was just too much. I didn't mean for this to happen. I was- I'm so sorry.”

“No, hey, don't say sorry.” Sirius hesitantly got up from his chair, sitting down onto the bed. “It's okay Re, I understand. I do. You don't have to explain yourself, not to me, okay? Never ever, you know that rem.” Remus looked up, and it hurt to see him like that, eyes filled with unshed tears and so much pain.

“I- thought.” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Why're you not mad at me? Why- you were. Why aren't-”

“What?” His voice was filled with genuine surprise as he looked at Remus. “Why would I ever be mad at you, hey Remus, no look at me? Shh, don't cry, please no. Love, I'm not mad at you, never. Why would I, huh?”

“Love?”

“Shit, sorry. No, not sorry. I mean it, of course I do, just not supposed to now, used to it y'know…” He smiled for a moment. “Anyway, Remus, it's okay. Don't have to explain yourself, and I'll never ever be mad at you for something like this.”

“But before -”

“I know. And I'm so sorry for that, I shouldn't have, not to you. It's been shit, and I've tried to think how to make it up, I really have.” Remus nodded. “I shouldn't have acted like that.”

“It's okay.”

“No, Re. It's not.”

“Can't think.” He mumbled after a moment. “My head's all hazy. Can we, um, talk later?”

“Of course.” He moved to get up, but Remus grabbed his wrist before he could.

“Sorry -” he whispered, letting go of his hand. “Can you stay?”

“Do you want me to?” Remus nodded. Sirius smiled, sitting back down, shifting so he was sitting across from him on the bed. “Have you eaten?” He asked, glancing at the tray on the bedside table.

“M'not hungry.” he whispered, shaking his head. “Don't… I don't want to.”

“I won't, don't worry.”

Remus nodded. “Could- Can you come here?” He asked, nervous as he looked at Sirius, who just smiled, moving so he'd be sitting next to him on the bed. “Thank you.” He whispered, leaning his head onto his shoulder and letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

“Don’t have to thank me.” Sirius whispered, wrapping his arm around him, hoping to make it better somehow. He took Remus' hand into his, seeing a small smile flash on his face at the gesture.

“I'm so sorry.”

Sirius shook his head. “No, don't say sorry, Rem.” He sniffled sadly, tears threatening to fall. “You can cry if you need to. I'm here.”

“I've missed you.”

“I missed you too. So much.” He whispered, starting to run his hand through Remus' hair, gently playing with the dirty blond curls. “I'm sorry for everything that happened.” He spoke into his hair, feeling the need to say it, he needed Remus to know that he was sorry, that he regretted everything. He wanted everything to be okay.

“I'm sorry too.” He turned to look at Sirius who smiled sadly, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, then moved to wipe away the tears that were trailing down his cheeks. “I'm so sorry, Sirius.”

“Shh, it's okay.” he whispered softly. “We're okay. We'll be okay”

“You promise?”

“I promise, Rem.” Remus only nodded, giving him a small but genuine smile. “Let's talk later?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I kiss you?” He asked cautiously, eyes searching for Remus'. He hummed, looking at Sirius for a moment, closing the distance between them, smiling as Sirius rested his forehead on his when they pulled away. “You should try to get some rest.”

“I'm not tired.” He whispered, laying his head down onto Sirius' chest. “I can't sleep.”

“Okay.” He whispered. “I can read to you? Don't have to sleep, I just thought…”

“Please.”

He nodded, rubbing his side as he reached for the book. “This is what James picked? What the hell is wrong with him?” Remus laughed, and Sirius smiled, kissing his head before he started reading. Remus ended up falling asleep, but Sirius continued reading knowing it calmed him down, and he found it easier to sleep with background noise, it also usually made him stay asleep.

He only stopped reading when the curtain around the bed was opened, it was madam pomfrey, he lowered the book looking at her. “You should leave, Mr. Black. Visiting hours are over.” She said, but smiled as she looked at the pair.

“Please Poppy?” He asked, rubbing Remus' side as he stirred, curling up in an attempt to stay asleep. Pomfrey looked at him, raising her eyebrow, and Sirius blushed slightly. “Sorry, madam Pomfrey. Can I please stay? Only an hour or two.”

“Only this time, Sirius.” She smiled. “I’m glad you two made up.” Sirius nodded, smiling slightly at her. “I’ll be back later, then you really do have to go.”

“Okay.”

Pomfrey left again, making the tray of food disappear from the bedside table as she went, closing the curtain behind herself. Sirius picked up the book again, continuing to read, smiling at the way Remus huffed in his sleep, hiding his face more into his chest, falling back to sleep.

A/N:

Hi :)

Did we like this? I hope we did because I really enjoyed writing this

I am supposed to be studying for my exams right now, but instead I finished this, what a good reason to procrastinate, right?

I would really like to write more of this, but my head is empty, so if you, yes you, would have anything to suggest you can just message me or something? Please, I'm asking nicely

Also, if there is anything else I should tag, please tell me, I do not mind, I wanna know

Anyway, hopefully you're doing well, if you aren't, I hope it gets better soon. See you around somewhere maybe?

<33

༻¨*:· A PEARL ·:*¨༺

♪ It's just that I fell in love with a war ♪ ♪ Nobody told me it ended ♪

༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ You break a bowl, Remus tries to comfort you. An argument ensues.

༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 reader's previous relationship was abusive 𖦹 a bloody hand (but nothing graphic) 𖦹 gn!reader (they/them pronouns) 𖦹 a sprinkle of angst 𖦹 hurt/comfort 𖦹 remus lupin calling you his darling and his love 🜷⌣🜷 𖦹 remus lupin being the best partner ever 𖦹 he's so boyfriend 𖦹 inspired by the song 'A Pearl' by Mitski  𖦹 fluffy ending bc i'm a huge crybaby 𖦹 i did not proofread this bc i'm lazy ⎝(ˊᗜˋ)⎠

༻¨*:· word count ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 2.1k 

"Sometimes, I wish I was a star," Your voice was quiet as you peered into the black sky, stars scattered across it. They looked like pearls. Precious.

He looked at you in admiration, "Why?"

"Because they're up there," You sighed, "And they take time to paint each star. To them, each one is just as important as the one before, and they ensure they are all beautiful."

"Who's up there?" There was genuine interest in his tone, and it warmed your heart.

"The person I used to be." You felt silly saying it, and you were scared he was going to judge you.

There was a beat of silence.

Instead of judgement, he reached for your hand and interlocked your pinkies, whispering: "You're precious. Like a pearl."

Your face grew warm.

Remus anxiously waited for you—he was gnawing at his fingernails. He scolded himself; you hated when he chewed on his fingernails.

1:39

"They're only nine minutes late, Remus. It's okay. They're okay. We're okay," He muttered.

Remus had an underlying fear that you would leave him. It wasn't because of the whole werewolf thing—okay, maybe it was the werewolf thing, but only a little bit; and he was working on that.

It was because of something you were going through. Remus didn't understand what you were going through; he couldn't understand. That was one of the many intricate parts of your relationship.

You didn't want him to understand because he could only understand if he went through the same thing. You certainly did not want him to go through that.

That is what brought you here, on the floor, curled into yourself, sobbing.

"He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me," You wailed, looking at your hands

Remus stood up, it had been half an hour, and he knew you weren't showing up.

He felt tired.

Not of you, never of you, but of this feeling. This emotion that appeared to be swallowing you whole and seemingly had its eyes set on your relationship as its next victim.

You heard the key in the door, and a wave of panic hit you. Then, as it washed over you—submerging you and taking your breath—the panic turned into guilt.

You were supposed to meet Remus at the park, and you were ... crying?

He toed his shoes off and walked to the kitchen, where he heard you weeping.

Upon seeing you, his heart felt like the shattered pieces of porcelain at your side. You were sobbing because you broke a bowl. Then, you started apologizing. It was frantic and compulsive, just a simple "I'm sorry" repeatedly falling from your chapped lips.

He wondered how anyone could see you like this and get mad at you.

"Darling?" He knew his voice had to be quiet. You were fragile right now—he assumed your breaking of the bowl triggered you. At this point in the relationship, identifying the trigger was somewhat easy. Identifying the feelings the trigger brought up was the challenging part. It didn't help that sometimes you couldn't articulate your feelings.

One of those times seemed to be now. Remus loathed that all you could say was, "I'm sorry."

Then, he noticed the dry blood on your hand and wanted to joke about how 

'You've only broken a bowl. You didn't kill someone, even though you've got literal blood on your hands.'

He didn't. Maybe he'll tell you later.

He knelt beside you.

Remus didn't think anything of it. He just wanted to wipe your cheek and relieve it from the layer of tears.

To him, it was harmless. To you, it was frightening.

You shrunk into yourself as he brought his hand up, and you scrunched your face, bracing for a slap, or a hit, or something physically violent.

Remus brought his hand down, and his lips pressed together.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," He whispered, "I'll never hurt you. You're safe her, Darling. You're safe."

Your next inhale was sharp, and your face relaxed with the shaky exhale that followed. You opened your eyes to look at Remus, who spoke gently, "Why don't I clean up your hand, okay?"

At your nod, he spoke again. "Can I touch you?"

You shake your head, "It's not because of you. It's— It's—"

At your wavering voice, he stepped in, "I know, Darling. I know"

He didn't understand why you felt you had to explain why you said no, just that you were wired to do so. It hurt him—deeply.

You stood slowly, knowing you would get dizzy if you stood too fast. And if you got dizzy, there was a possibility that you would fall, and if you did, Remus would either try to catch you, or you would injure yourself. If Remus caught you, he would be touching you, making you even more miserable. If you got hurt he—being the angel he is—would take the blame and never forgive himself. Both would make him feel worse. You already missed lunch together because you dropped this stupid bowl and—

"My Lovely?" Remus repeated for the fourth time; this time, it snapped you out of your frantic thoughts.

You looked at him, "Hm?"

"To clean your hand, I'm going to have to touch it. Is that okay?" His talking was slow and calm, and it oddly made you mad.

"I said I didn't want you to touch me!" You felt your heart beat faster, and adrenaline rushed over you.

Remus was so incredibly tired, and he didn't feel like fighting. He hated fighting with you—it was gut-wrenching.

"I know, but I don't want your hand to get infected because it's not clean."

"Stop speaking to me like I'm a child, Remus."

You knew what you were doing, and it was wrong, but it felt so right to pick a fight. You hated yourself for it.

Remus sighed.

You swore you could feel the blood pumping through your veins and drew your brows together, "Don't sigh at me."

Remus knew better than to indulge in your argument, but he couldn't help himself.

"All I am trying to do is help you."

Your brain was foggy, "Well, you're not helping. If anything, you're making it WORSE!"

You have said a lot of things in past arguments. Never anything like this.

"Wait, no—" You quickly went to correct yourself.

"I'm making it worse?" He repeated your bitter words. "Really? Because if I'm making it worse, I can leave. I can leave you here and never try to help you again if I make everything so much worse."

"That's not what I said!" You argued back, "I never said you make everything worse. Stop twisting my words!"

"I'm not twisting your words, Y/n. This—" He waved his arms around the broken porcelain, then around you, "this is everything."

Too far.

"I am a person, Remus. I am not just my trauma." Your voice was quiet.

"Aren't you!?"

You looked at your bloody hand, "I'm sorry, Remus. I—" Your voice cracked, and you went silent.

Hit turn to feel guilty.

"Can I clean your cut?" He muttered.

You gave him your hand.

"Can I touch you?"

You somberly nodded your head.

His touch was soft, and you started to sweat. You hated this feeling. You hated fearing that his fingers would turn harsh after they softly cleaned your hand.

And you felt bad for being scared, because you knew Remus would never hurt you. Still, something in you was constantly on edge, a primal instinct to protect yourself before you got hurt.

He once said you reminded him of a pearl. He would give you pearl necklaces and earrings and bracelets. A precious pearl, that's what he would call you.

The jewelry stayed in your jewelry box, untouched since you left him. You weren't sure why you kept them—maybe to remind yourself that it was real. It could be because the pearls symbolized what you thought his love was.

It wasn't love, though, it was manipulation, and it was toxic.

And, as much as you didn't want to believe it, it was abuse.

Perhaps you kept the pearls because they were part of that toxicity.

Remus finished cleaning your hand somewhat ten minutes ago; you hadn't realized, too deep in thought.

Too busy thinking about the pearls again.

He stained part of you, a part of yourself that you now call The Pearl.

It started small, and you were able to control it at first.

Now, it seemed unmanageable.

The Pearl taunted you. It told you to be explosive because it knew Remus wouldn't be. Explosions cause chaos, and chaos is safe. That's what it told you.

But then, when the chaos was over and done with, it told you that you were toxic and abusive—it said you were a monster and that you were just like him.

You would indulge in The Pearl—you did everything it told you to do. You believed everything it told you to believe.

Maybe you were toxic.

"Y/n?" Remus repeated. His voice was quaint and delicate. You could tell he didn't want to startle you.

"Do you want to go sit on the couch? Maybe we can talk over there?"

You nodded, trudged your way to the couch, and plopped down. A heavy sigh escaped your lips.

You, too, were tired of this feeling.

Once he sat down, you quickly spoke, "I'm sorry, Remus."

"I'm not going to tell you it's okay 'cos it wasn't, but I'm also sorry. I said some very hurtful things, and I know better than to let it get out of hand—"

You wanted to scream, not at Remus, at yourself. You interrupted him, "Remus, t's not your fault. I let it get to me."

"My Darling, I'm still having trouble understand what 'it' is. I know you've tried before, but can you try and explain again? Because I can't keep doing this. My Lovely, I can't keep arguing with you. It hurts too much."

Perhaps it wasn't the best wording, but you knew what he meant.

"I'm sor—"

He cut you off, "Don't apologize."

You nodded.

"It's like there's this—" You took a deep breath. You had to tell him, no matter how scary it was.

"He used to call me his precious pearl," You started, looking down into your laps where your hands rested, "And I was his. He trapped me for years, and I became his."

Remus didn't like hearing that, but he put his anger aside.

"He changed me, Remus." You looked into his soft, lovely amber eyes. He wasn't judging you.

"Do you know how pearls form?"

He looked at you with confusion and shook his head.

"When an oyster comes in contact with a foreign substance, it traps and covers it with the same stuff that makes its shell. As time goes on, this material—the one that makes the shell—builds and creates a pearl."

Remus slowly nods, "Okay."

"Well, when this process occurs naturally, it doesn't hurt the oyster." You look back down into your lap, "But there are pearl farms where harvesters will cut the oyster and insert irritants." You looked back at him, "Pearls are formed to defend the oyster. When this process happens artificially, it usually hurts the oyster because the harvesters do it with little care."

Remus nodded again, "You know I'm very interested in the things you enjoy talking about, but I'm not sure if this is the right time to be talking about pearls."

"Just wait. It has to do with this, okay?"

When he nodded, you kept speaking. "So, I'm like an oyster, and he was like a pearl farmer. There's this part of me that I call 'The Pearl,' it helps protect me, but not in the right way. Before he could take the pearl, I left, and now I'm trying to remove it, but it's hard and it hurts. It hurts so much." You hoped you were making sense. "Now, I'm with you, and I love it. I love this relationship so much, Remus. I do. And I love you, you're so gentile and you don't even want to make a pearl from me, but I've got one, and it hurts, and I don't know how long it'll take to remove it—I don't know if I can remove it."

Remus was starting to understand. "So, The Pearl, it makes you—" He was very careful with his words, "It created chaos?"

"Mhm"

"As a ... defense mechanism?"

You nodded, "It's because I'm not used to being in such a calm relationship. It feels unnerving, so The Pearl is telling me to create the explosions 'cos that's how it's "s'posed" to be, and then you'll leave, and—" Your inhale was shaky, "And then I turn into a harvester and The Pearl is happy with that because I don't get hurt."

He was quick to respond, "You will never become a harvester, and I won't leave." He shook his head to himself, "I won't ever leave you."

You looked at him with adoration, "Even though I've got a pearl?"

"Even though you've a pearl," He confirmed. "We can work on extracting it together, okay? How's that sound?"

Your heart felt so warm and so full, "That sounds nice."

He curtly nodded and stood up, "You want a cwtch?"

"The bowl," You whispered.

He smiled softly, "I cleaned it up—while you were thinking earlier."

Remus told you his stupid joke as he held you. You felt safe as you laughed, saying: "I do have lots of skeletons in my closet, though. That okay?"

He smiled, "I love spooky shit."

It made you laugh harder.

Maybe you could finally wave your white flag of surrender.

No more war, no more pearls.

Thank you for reading, my lovelies

ଘ(੭ ˊᵕˋ)੭*༺ ♡‧₊˚

@forourmoons @sw34terw34ther @cremexcoffee @nelabelievesindragons @evergreenlover

I'm having wolfstarbucks thoughts...james sucking sirius off while remus eats him out...mhm

Anon I wanna kiss your brain this is beautiful, I love the idea of James being in the middle of them, he’s the brat for sure. Also not sure if you meant eating out like trans James but,,,,t4t4t wolfstarbucks?? They meet at pride and it’s love at first sight and they just go to queer events and drag shows together until they eventually get enough liquid courage to kiss each other OOF James and Remus sucking the strap STOP IT but even if they’re cis Remus eats ass like a pro so James is looking up at Sirius with the most lewd expression, eyes basically crossed and watering, mouth and chin covered in spit from how sloppy he’s being, and Sirius is just tugging at his hair and grinning down at him and Remus AHH

𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘱

𝖲𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾-𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗄𝗌, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝟨𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝖿𝖿𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾? 𝖨𝗍’𝗌 𝟣𝟫𝟩𝟨. 𝖲𝗍𝗎𝖼𝗄 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝗑𝗂𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗂𝖿 𝖣𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗅𝖾𝖽𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾. 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗀𝗈𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗒𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗈𝗒. 𝖠𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝗂𝗆, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗍 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒. 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈…𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍?

Part One wc:5.5k

Part Two wc:5.3k

Part Three wc:5k

Part Four wc:5.5k

Part Five wc: 5.1k

Part Six wc: 6.1k

Part Seven wc: 7.2k

Part Eight wc: 5.6k

Part Nine wc: 6.9k

Part Ten wc: 6.1k (you stay)

Part Ten wc: 6.3k (you leave)

Soundtrack🎶

oh my goodness, this was amazing! (i’m sobbing)

I am not writing this because I could not mentally take it but...

Imagine… being an Obscurus and best friends with Barty Crouch Jr.

You were eight years old when you met him.

A Muggle girl, too loud, too wild, too alive- a stark contrast to the quiet, polite boy with a sharp mind and a father that loomed over him like a shadow.

But with you? He wasn’t a Crouch. He was just Barty.

You built forts out of logs, ran barefoot through the pond, and shared a locket- two halves of a whole, a symbol of forever.

Imagine… falling sick the moment he turned eleven.

It started with headaches. Then nosebleeds. Then days where your limbs felt too heavy to move.

Barty didn’t understand. No one did.

One day, you were climbing trees and stealing sweets from the corner shop.

The next, you were shaking, feverish, slipping through his fingers.

And then- he left.

Hogwarts. Magic. A world you couldn’t follow him into.

He promised to write every day.

He did.

But no letter could stop the way your bones ached or the way the shadows in your room whispered.

Imagine… Barty researching Obscurials.

He was fourteen when he figured it out.

When he read about children who grew sick and died because they suppressed their magic.

Except- you weren’t suppressing it.

You never had magic to begin with.

But somehow, it was still killing you.

Imagine… Barty growing more desperate.

He tore through the Hogwarts library like a man possessed.

Potions. Enchantments.

He tried everything. He talked to anyone- everyone. He promised anything for answers. Anything for help.

Ancient texts. Dark rituals. Forbidden spells.

Once- he even tried to give you his own magic. Like a childish fever dream, something to awaken yours. Take yours. Fix yours.

It failed. Of course it did.

But that didn’t stop him from trying again. And again. And again.

Because Barty Crouch Jr. was a lot of things.

A prodigy. A disappointment. A son with too many expectations.

But to you- he was just a boy who couldn’t stand to lose his best friend.

Imagine… your final conversation with him.

You were eighteen, frail and pale, sitting in your childhood bed as Barty paced beside you. He had spent every year of his life loosing himself to try and regain you.

And it was tearing you apart inside.

He told you about his latest discovery, about the ritual he was planning.

He swore he was close.

You smiled. Soft. Knowing. Because he was always close.

And then you said it. So soft. So sweet.

So scratchy.. so quiet..

“Barty, it’s okay.”

And it broke him.

He fell to his knees beside your bed, clutching your frail hands, begging you not to go.

Because who was he without you? What identity did he have if you weren't there? What was all the Outstandings for? The letters? The years he spent learning every nook and cranny of magic- if he couldn't stop it?

Not yet. Not when he still had so much to fix.

“I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t watch you die.”

And so, you gave him one final gift. Because he had give you so much.

Too much.

“Then don’t,” you whispered. “Close your eyes.”

He did.

“Picture me."

And he did. And when his face twisted in anguish, you tutted. Running your small- much too small hands, through his black locks. “Not like that. Like me.”

And there she was. The vibrant ten-year-old who once dragged him through the streets, laughing like she had all the time in the world. Tugging him into alley ways and sneaking away from his parents.

“Write to me,” you said, voice barely a breath. “Write to that girl. That way… it will be like I never left.”

So he let go of your hand.

And he left.

He left you alone in that bed.

He walked away, fists clenched, locket pressed to his palm.

He didn’t look back. He forced himself through the meadow in your back yard, the bond you used to run in when you were younger, the swings that rocked.

And then- the explosion.

The shockwave knocked him to the ground.

The sky split open behind him.

And as he lay there, gasping, the locket in his hand felt heavier than ever.

You were gone.

Imagine… Barty writing letters to you all the time. From his years in the war, tales of Voldemort and his friends.

Even in Azkaban he made use of the walls and his nails.

Then under his imperious curse it was like a safe haven in his mind.

At first, they were daily.

Then weekly.

Then only when he could remember your face.

One day, he woke up and couldn’t remember if your eyes were green or blue. Brown or black. Purple or red.

Then your hair.

Your smile.

Your laugh.

And then, finally- your name.

He tried to write to you that night.

But the ink wouldn’t flow, because his hands hesitated.

Because for the first time in his life-

He didn’t know who he was writing to.

And that- not Azkaban, not the Dementors, not even the war-

That was the moment Barty Crouch Jr. truly died.

And the cruelest thing; in this form of death; he still wouldn't see you. Not yet.

what about poly!wolfstar with double penetration in one hole? you could also make it dark

warnings: threesome, double penetration, rough sex, degrading, slapping, handcuffs, use of “slut”, “pet”, “fuck-toy”, “slave”, and “good girl”, crying

masterlist

your hands rub against the handcuffs tying you to the bed as your boyfriends thrust into you. remus is beneath you, kneading the flesh of your ass with his hand as he fucks your pussy. sirius is on top, thrusting into the same hole at a brutal pace. you drip around their cocks, so fucking wet for them.

sirius’ hands play with your tits as he goes, pinching and twisting your nipples meanly. you cry as they thrust in again. you can see their dicks bulge through your stomach, around your belly button.

“fucking slut,” sirius grunts. “look at her, rem. she’s fucking crying. her face is almost as wet as her slutty little cunt.”

remus laughs cruelly, slapping your ass cheek with one hand, using the other to abuse your tits with sirius.

you choke around a sob, mascara-filled tears blurring your sight.

“she’s so fucking pathetic,” remus sneers, voice filled with disgust. “just a bunch of holes for us to use.”

“just a little pet. our very own fuck-toy.”

remus shoves a finger up your ass, spreading another hole open. you cry out from the pain as he shoves more and more fingers up your hole.

sirius slaps you across the face, lighting a sharp sting against your skin. “shut up. you little cockslut. don’t pretend you don’t want it.”

“the little slave, acting like she isn’t dripping for our cocks,” remus mocks, spreading his fingers in your ass.

“take it like a good girl,” sirius says, wrapping his fingers around your throat.

you cry as they fuck you, trying to muffle your sobs with nothing but your lips.

Second Son Navigation | A Regulus Black Series

Synopsis: Forbidden from contacting Harry over the summer, you opt to explore the eerie halls of Grimmauld Place where you stumble upon a lonely portrait of the House's second son.

Warnings: Story is not canon compliant. Includes time jumps. Magic lore is altered/not compliant with canon HP series.

Status: Completed (03.14.23 - 04.24.23)

Main Masterlist

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Chapter IX

Chapter X

Chapter XI

Chapter XII

Chapter XIII

Chapter XIV

Chapter XV

Chapter XVI

Chapter XVII

Chapter XVIII

Chapter XIX

Chapter XX (Epilogue)

@moonpascal sent this to me last night and i haven’t stopped thinking about it