Queen As Four Elements (fire, Water, Earth And Air)

Ares: My mom called me a son of a bitch, so I slapped her because ain't nobody talking like that about my mom. Then I hit myself cause no one hits my mom Then my mom hit me

Theo: hey nice hands

Sept: thanks?

Theo: i bet they'd look better wrapped around my

Abel: wrAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE PRAISE THE LORD AMEN

Persephone: Just made a secret hand shake with my husband's dog. Boredom at its finest.

hades: who's a good demonic guardian of hell? WHO'S a good demonic guardian of hell?

cerberus: ???????????????

hades: you are!

cerberus: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hades: Persephone kissed me!!

Zeus: [gasp] No!

Poseidon: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Hades: It’s unbelievable.

Poseidon: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Zeus: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Poseidon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hades, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Hades: Oh it ends verrry well.

Poseidon: [rushing over with wine glasses] Don’t start without me! Don’t start without me!

Zeus: Alright, let’s hear about this kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Hades: Well, at first it was kinda of intense, y'know and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Zeus & Poseidon: [squealing] Awwwwwww!

(Scene changes to Persephone, Artemis, and Hecate casually eating pizza)

Persephone: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Artemis: Tongue?

Persephone: Yeah.

Hecate: Cool.

poseidon, eating a jar of Nutella at 3 am, crying, after starting 53 arguments that very day: why can't we all just get along

and persephone is back to getting dicked down by hades in the underworld

Artemis: Apollo kept trying to sacrifice me last night. He would just yell out “VIRGIN SACRIFICE!!” And then throw me into a circle of men

Okay but Fred having to climb on the kitchen counter to reach the top shelf and John (or Bri or Roger) just fucking LOSING it over how cute he is

Roger probably shouldn’t be staring. He definitely should be going to get the step or going over to help. He definitely shouldn’t be letting Freddie do this.

But it’s too cute, and Freddie doesn’t know he’s there.

Their manager had just called. Killer Queen had reached number two in the charts, and the boys had decided to celebrate. Freddie had officiously stated that it was the perfect occasion to drink the Moet et Chandon that the company had graciously sent down, and had gone off to find their good crystal flutes.

The good crystal flutes that had been placed on the top shelf when they moved in, to keep them safe.

The top shelf that was definitely out of Freddie’s five-foot-nine-and-a-half-inches reach.

Roger couldn’t help but watch as Freddie pulled a chair over to the bench and scrambled up on it, the tip of his tongue poking out in concentration. Grinning when he was stable, he rose up on his knees and carefully pulled out the four glasses, slightly dusty from disuse. They were set on the bench equally as carefully, and then Roger was treated to the sight of Freddie’s foot cautiously sliding down, looking for the chair -

Freddie squeaked in surprise when he found himself suddenly swept into Roger’s arms, kisses peppering his neck.

“Rog! Stop! You want to give me a heart attack!”

“Mmm, you’re not scared of me, my sweet - adorable - little - cute - Freddie,” Roger grinned, and Freddie sighed.

“Sometimes I swear you put things on the top shelf just so I can’t reach.”

“But you look so cute trying to get it down!”

“I am not cute!” Freddie said indignantly. “I’m fabulous.”

“You’re cute,” Roger insisted, kissing further down Freddie’s neck, and Freddie rolled his eyes, knowing the argument was lost - for now…