Wanted To Post This On It's Own Because I Spent So Much Time On It...

Fr lol I’m not judging though but……wow

“You need to make space in your heart for someone who has the capacity to love you just as much as you love them.”

— Unknown

Sent over by my mentor

#Tips

another big list?

Start from the top down.

Start with your hair. I wore wigs for years, switched to clip-ins and extensions for convenience, and now my hair is healthy enough to wear on its own. Figure out what you want to do with your hair in terms of style and colour and begin nourishing it so that it looks good and you’re happy with the way you choose to wear it. Wigs are a great option and I know so many women of different races and ages who choose to wear them because it’s convenient and they’re able to do whatever they want without worrying about how their natural hair will react to drastic changes.

Find a skincare routine that suits your needs and run with it. I’ve experimented a lot and finally settled on a routine and it works for me, my face, shoulders, décolletage, and neck look good, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. Finding a routine that works for you and doesn’t break the bank is SO important for the entire process and your skin is your largest organ and a good reflection of your health. The one thing I will say is sunscreen and a good lip balm are a part of every good skincare routine.

Drink more water and either eat or drink your greens. I thought juicing was a joke for the longest time and I didn’t enjoy it at all but I started drinking hella water, juicing, and focusing on small ways to improve my health and I feel better. I drink iron supplements, make sure I’m getting my greens in by drinking juices (still experimenting with this one), make sure to have at least 2.5 litres of water every day, take my supplements, and feel great. Not everyone needs supplements and a bunch of extras but they can be great for the women that do have deficiencies and I love my selection.

Get to the gym. I do pilates 6 days weekly, go to barre on Sundays, walk 10,000 steps daily, keep up with my cardio, and do some light lifting to stay in shape and I actually look much better than I ever have. Making sure to move your body is an essential part of success and surgery can’t and won’t fix everything; you need to put the work in to see real results and going to the gym can be the most satisfying experience. I’ve been getting more into swimming and trying to swim early mornings and embracing water aerobics and fun classes, I’ve been having the time of my life keeping my body toned, and my stamina has majorly improved.

Find a hair removal routine that works for you and stick with it. I favoured epilation for the longest time but my sister in law convinced me to try the woman she goes to for laser so I’m going to switch to that. Having smooth skin, no hair, and a good canvas for whatever you’re choosing to do with your body is so important and keeping your body moisturised and free of ingrown hairs and bumps is so satisfying. I personally use exfoliate and use oil whilst my skin is still wet from the shower and then use lotion to make sure my skin is deeply moisturised and I love the sheen it gives my skin.

Do not start down the surgery path unless you know how to say no to yourself. It’s extremely important that you don’t start fucking around with fillers, botox, implants, and the entire world of surgery unless you know when to stop and when to tell yourself no. One of the saddest things in the world is seeing women who’ve gone too far and have started looking for cheap surgery in order to keep going or somehow get their old look back. Don’t start with surgery if you can’t afford quality surgeons, don’t get procedures you don’t need just to fit in, don’t go too far, and listen to doctors when the tell you that they don’t think that you need something.

Maybe this is just me but maybe it’s not. I think that everyone looks good with a little bit of colour but the key is only going for what’s natural for the skin tone you already have. I only tan a little bit, I never go too dark, I try not to let myself get patchy, and I don’t go for any unnatural forms of self tan. I call the colour I go for ‘summertime glow’ and I love it because it’s natural and not at all orange, perfectly bronze, and it suits me whilst still looking like my natural skin colour. The goal is beachy vacation, not whole different race. I also think that self tanning is great for covering up scars and it gives you a little bit of warmth when the weather turns dreary.

Figure out what works for your nails and stick with it. Literally every woman I work with has a French tip, I see how a little tip has suited my sisters, and I found that a little acrylic overlay and gel polish work wonders for me. I’ve done the same nail combo ever since I moved to Texas and I love the way it looks, it gets me the MOST compliments from men, and it’s simple enough to match every outfit. I talk about French tips constantly and how they’ve never done me wrong so I’ll leave off here but having a go to nail combo for your mani-pedi will take so much stress out of your daily routine and help your o look polished even when you’re down.

Experiment with perfumes, soaps, and scents but DO NOT overdo it. Experimenting with scents, figuring out what suits you, trying out custom blends, and finding ways to enjoy perfume will bring joy to your life. I love love love perfume and experimenting with different scents and I think that the perfumes and scent blends I choose to wear have levelled up my look exponentially. You don’t have to spend a million dollars on designer perfumes when you can work with soaps, scrubs, and affordable choices, there are so many indie perfume makers who have great blends, and it’s fun to start with samples and work from there so that you can figure out what you like without breaking the bank or having to do lots of blind buys.

Makeup and accessories are going to go into one category because I talk about both far too often but I’m going to tell you this: less is more when you don’t know what you’re doing. If you don’t know how to apply makeup then maybe starting off with a full face, heavy contour and conceal, and a complicated eye isn’t the way to go. Start slow, watch tutorials, take the time to learn what you’re doing, and don’t spend millions on high quality makeup before you know what you’re doing and know what you like. It’s the same with choosing your accessories; don’t buy a million different bracelets and necklaces before you know what you’re doing or you know what your personal style is and don’t chase after aesthetics and ideals that don’t fit you and waste money on trends that you actually hate.

All things I’ve said before.

4 Types of guys I will not date:

1. Guys who are in love with love They are obsessed with the feeling of being in love than the person they're with. They chase the honeymoon phase, the high of attention and connection but when the relationship becomes real they check out. It's not about you, it's about their addiction to fantasy and when they are done with you, they will jump to someone else

2. Guys who want a wife This sounds good on paper until you realize they don’t care who the wife is. They’re in a rush to plug someone into a role, not build a life with a specific person. These guys want the optics of commitment without the emotional maturity or compatibility required to sustain one. A man who wants to get married < a man who wants to marry you

3. Guys who want kids These guys aren't necessarily looking for a deep connection with a partner—they just want the title of "parent" or the idealistic perception, not really about being a father. It’s more about the next step in their life plan than the emotional bond that should come with it. A man who wants to be a father > a man who wants kids

4. Guys who don’t love themselves, so they’re looking for love outside of themselves These people are searching for validation, comfort, security from others because they haven't learned to give those things to themselves first. They look for relationships to fill the emptiness or fix their own internal struggles. Without self love, any love they find is only a temporary fix

—

After writing this, I realized that these are typically all the same type of guy. Also this should have been gender neutral cause it applies to everyone

Waiting on “your season” is nothing but a weak excuse to be lazy about achieving the things you want. Those things will not miraculously appear in front of you if you are not willing to go after them relentlessly. The moment you decide to be the main character in the story of your own life rather than an spectator watching it unfold by is the day things will change. Don’t wait for your season, create your season.

got any more article recs?

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"Be confident, trust yourself and never let anybody put you down. If anybody puts you down it's because they're jealous."- Adriana Lima

Zendaya photographed by Raoul Alejandre.