Majexs03 - Aprilph

How I got my life together.

Getting your life together, and I mean really getting it together, should be a priority of yours. You can’t miss out on your life by staying in a pattern of losing it all, pulling it together as quickly and as carelessly as you can, and then losing it all again because you weren’t ready enough or devoted the first time. I made a choice to pull my life together when I was 18, and I’ve stayed improving myself ever since; I bettered my mental health, fixed my body, changed my mindset, found an aesthetic and style that worked for me and that I loved, and have done my part to keep steadily improving my life and my mindset. If you are devoted to yourself and your life, you will do well and find that the path towards your future will become much clearer as time goes on.

Exercising.

You need to be exercising, bettering your body, and taking the time to nourish yourself and your health. This means eating whole meals and taking the time to cook and prepare them, considering removing heavily processed foods and alcohol from your day-to-day diet, and taking the time to do at home or in gym workouts. I do Move with Nicole videos in the morning, finish up with a quick yoga session, go to the gym in the evenings, and make sure that my body is being fueled by real foods and being properly hydrated throughout the day. You will live in the same body for the rest of your life; you need to make sure that you’re caring for it and nourishing it in ways that will let it support you for the rest of your life. You won’t regret a health journey, and you should actively be on one. 

Socializing.

Isolation will kill you, and if you already have anxiety, it will worsen it. You should be meeting people, getting to know them, leaving your comfort zone, and trying new things. Your late teens and early twenties are all about taking the time to know people, making and losing friends, and figuring out the sorts of people you want to have in your life forever. You have to socialize, go to social events, join clubs and different activities, and get out of the house. I’m a person who believes in spending time around and loving other people, and that has saved my life. If you aren’t sure how to socialize, don’t have friends, or aren’t sure of what you like, now’s the time to learn how. You don’t become good at meeting people in one day; it takes time and failure, but the more you do to leave your comfort zone, the easier it will become as time moves along.

Studying.

I believe that life is meant for learning. It’s important to always be learning, to always be bettering yourself, and to always be keeping your mind busy. While I strongly believe that every woman should have a university education and a degree, I understand that it’s not always feasible. If it’s not possible for you to get a degree, you have to learn a trade, a skill, a language, or find something to occupy your mind so that it’s not idle. It’s important to always be doing something, and it’s important that you’re pursuing a passion; life isn’t much if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, so you have to find them and do more with them. Education can come from work experience; it can come from pursuing projects, cultivating wisdom, and spending your time nourishing your mind and reading books. Life is a learning experience, and you should be in constant pursuit of educational excellence. 

Seeing More.

Life is about seeing more and seeing things you’ve never experienced. If you’ve always wanted to watch a tennis match, step into the ocean, or see the sights in a new city, now’s the time to start making plans to do those things. We all deserve to see and experience beautiful things, so it’s important that we find the time to do so. If I hadn’t made the time to find beauty in the mundane, I wouldn’t have made it far. You don’t have to spend money pursuing beauty; I find the most beauty I’ve seen in my life is found on short walks and time spent around my city. You should spend your time both looking for beauty and becoming beautiful too.

Doing More.

Doing more is next. I’ve spent my life trying new things, failing, succeeding, having a good time, and learning about what I enjoy. You should be doing more; your twenties are for moving away, visiting new cities, trying new foods, working jobs you hate and finding jobs you love, going to new restaurants and getting into new relationships, and doing more with yourself. All of the greatest women I’ve ever known have told me that they spent next to no time resting in their twenties because they had so much life to live. I’d encourage you to do things without holding yourself back, and if you don’t know what to do with yourself, find things to do. You can't waste your youth being idle; now is the time to get out of your room, see the world and what it has to offer, and do more with yourself and your gifts.

Richarlotte x

What’s the purpose of worrying when God always works things out for me

hearts of darkness (1991) dir. eleanor coppola, george hickenlooper, fax bahr

i just want to spend the rest of this year letting things flow for once in my life and not stress over outcomes and/ or situations i have absolute no control over. just letting God guide me while i work on being the best version of me.

Hey! Hope you’ve been well. I know you smell incredibly well, so I need your tips. Please, what do I need to smell good all through the day, everyday? How do I know what scent I like and would fit me? What steps do you take and what are your favourite scents? Thank you!

Hi! I love this question

Smelling good starts from the inside : make sure your gut is functioning properly (are you having daily bowel movements?), support lymphatic drainage by moving everyday even if its just walks, drink water and other mineral rich drinks such as herbal infusions or broths, add chlorophyll to your water from time to time, and have a mindfulness practice that you do everyday (stress greatly impacts our body odor!)

Then, when it comes to your daily hygiene, use soaps/gels that don’t interfere too much with your skin’s microbiome, as that can also cause bad body odor, even if the soap/gel smells nice! I recommend the oil cleanser by la roche posay « Lipikar », followed by a neutral shower gel for further cleansing. Use a feminine unscented wash for your intimates and don’t forget your butt too lol, the Rael gel is lovely for that. Exfoliate your body once or twice a week.

Do armpit detoxes : clay + acv and rinse when it dries. You can do this once a week, and then bi-weekly or monthly for maintenance.

Instead of using deodorants, I suggest swiping a very gentle aha/bha toner it neutralizes odor and helps with brightening your underarms. I tend to use pure musk after that as well, just for the scent.

As for knowing which scent suits you, try out different perfumes until you find one that literally merges perfectly with your natural body’s scent. When you find it you will know, because it’ll actually feel like second skin, you won’t be able to get enough of it. Once you find it, look up the notes and start experimenting with other perfumes that have similar notes, then you’ll have found your « niche » :)

Any advice for how to deal with people being entitled to know your business? I'm often accused of being guarded and standoffish when really I'm just setting up boundaries. For example, I've been working towards an advanced degree for 3 years now. I have a well thought out, elaborate plan to achieve my goals. This is my business but people still get upset when they look at my life and say "you're not doing anything with your life". To them it looks like I just go to work and travel.

I say that I'm working towards something. But this never shuts them up. Then the questions "Well what is it?! What are you doing?! Do you have a plan?! Have you applied to school yet?! Have you thought about this, this, this and this?!!" They always word the questions like I'm incompetent and lack foresight. I always feel cornered when this happens, like my agency has been taken away. I usually just end up explaining my long, drawn out plan to them and I feel ran over afterwards. I've had people literally get mad and lash out when I keep details to myself. "What's with the attitude? I'm just asking a question, you don't need to give me an attitude." So it's easier to just give in.

"This is my business but people still get upset when they look at my life and say "you're not doing anything with your life". To them it looks like I just go to work and travel."

Why not just let them be upset? 70% of people who knew me in the past still think I'm broke and not doing anything with my life and I just go along with it. Let them create their own thoughts and ideas and tell them that they're absolutely right. At the end of the day what they think about you just isn't your business.

"I say that I'm working towards something. But this never shuts them up."

Unless they are someone important that you might need to use in the future, it's totally unnecessary to let them know anything at all.

"They always word the questions like I'm incompetent and lack foresight. I always feel cornered when this happens, like my agency has been taken away."

Because it is taken away. Corner them instead, let them know you're living on autopilot with no current ambitions. Like I said if they are no one important to you WHO CARES???

"So it's easier to just give in."

It's actually much much easier to let them think what they want... don't let yourself feel pressured and cave in. You can literally make up any lie and say that your focused on becoming a yoga teacher or something.... anythingggggg.