You Have Got To Learn How To Style Your Hair And Wigs.

4 Types of guys I will not date:

1. Guys who are in love with love They are obsessed with the feeling of being in love than the person they're with. They chase the honeymoon phase, the high of attention and connection but when the relationship becomes real they check out. It's not about you, it's about their addiction to fantasy and when they are done with you, they will jump to someone else

2. Guys who want a wife This sounds good on paper until you realize they don’t care who the wife is. They’re in a rush to plug someone into a role, not build a life with a specific person. These guys want the optics of commitment without the emotional maturity or compatibility required to sustain one. A man who wants to get married < a man who wants to marry you

3. Guys who want kids These guys aren't necessarily looking for a deep connection with a partner—they just want the title of "parent" or the idealistic perception, not really about being a father. It’s more about the next step in their life plan than the emotional bond that should come with it. A man who wants to be a father > a man who wants kids

4. Guys who don’t love themselves, so they’re looking for love outside of themselves These people are searching for validation, comfort, security from others because they haven't learned to give those things to themselves first. They look for relationships to fill the emptiness or fix their own internal struggles. Without self love, any love they find is only a temporary fix

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After writing this, I realized that these are typically all the same type of guy. Also this should have been gender neutral cause it applies to everyone

"And I was so young when I behaved twenty five Yet now I find I've grown into a tall child"

YOU DO NOT HEAL BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR TRAUMA

You heal by feeling safe enough to stop repeating it

Not reverting to your old coping mechanisms anymore is how you break the cycle

You want to understand because understanding gives the illusion of control

When we go through pain our mind kicks into overdrive trying to make sense of it. It’s the mind’s way of saying If I can figure this out, I can prevent it from happening again

Sometimes there isn’t a logical answer that will make the pain go away because it had nothing to do with you. And trying to intellectualize everything can become a way to avoid feeling the things that actually needs to move through the body

We try understanding because it’s less scary than sitting in the unknown. Stop trying to solve everything like a puzzle and instead start soothing the part of us that feels afraid, abandoned, unworthy etc

You don’t need another explanation

You need a hug

A deep breath

A new boundary

Or someone who looks at you and tells you that it wasn’t your fault

Because it wasn’t 🤍

My type is the hot, rich, somewhat introverted but masculine nerdy men. There’s something about a man with deep intellect that just does it for me. Mental stimulation is such an important component of relationships and bonds between people. At this point in my life I’m past shallow personalities, I want depth and enriching relationships in my life only.

Hey girl love the work outs! Just wondering if you have any suggestions for fupa workouts or lower abs! Love you queen xx

hi lovely! if you want to lose your fupa, the main thing you have to do is work on fat loss through a calorie deficit. that area is a really difficult area to lose fat from for women because of hormones and how we carry our weight, but through a calorie deficit and incorporating some exercise to tighten the muscles in that area, you should be able to see a difference!

lower ab workouts

5 minute lower abs by bailey brown

5 minute everyday pilates lower abs by lidia mera

8 minute lower abs by eylem abaci

8 minute lower abs & waist by bailey brown

10 minute intense lower abs by gloria song

10 minute lower ab workout by gainsbybrains

10 minute lower ab workout by eleni fit

10 minute lower ab workout by eylem abaci

10 minute intense lower abs & core by gainsbybrains

10 minute lower abs pilates workout by lidia mera

10 minute lower ab workout by pamela reif

10 minute lower belly burn by emi wong

10 minute lower abs workout by madfit

10 minute lower abs workout by fitbymik

10 minute best lower ab exercises by madfit

10 minute lower abs by madfit

10 minute beginner lower ab workout by madfit

10 minute intense lower abs by caroline girvan

10 minute lower abs workout by madfit

15 minute lower abs workout by move with nicole

20 minute lower abs workout by madfit

20 minute intense standing lower belly burn by growwithjo

Dating 101 (From a Man's Perspective)

One thing that's given me a huge advantage when it comes to dating is the fact that I'm always trying to understand men better. I've pulled aside nearly every single man I've grown close to at some point and asked "So, what do mean really want?". And what I've learned is that most men are pretty much the same when it comes to relationships. So with that, here's the tea on dating from a man's perspective!

All men are obsessed with one thing: Sex.

At their very core, men are obsessed with sex. They think about it constantly. They think about it at the gym, on the subway, at work, at the bar- it's on their minds basically 24/7. And most men will do everything in their power to get sex, including manipulating you to no end just to get your clothes off. So when you meet that gorgeous banker at the club that seems super attentive and engaging, don’t be naïve to the fact that at the very forefront of his mind is likely the hope that you’ll give it up to him by the end of the night. Too many women assume that the initial attention they get from men is genuine when for the most part, it's based on their need for sex. While this reality may be a bit disappointing, it's also kind of amazing. Why? Because if sex controls men, knowing how to use sex to your advantage allows you to control of men. Which brings me to the next point:

Nothing beats delayed gratification.

And I mean absolutely nothing. I know this is a hot take but ultimately, every man I’ve talked to on the matter feels the same way. Withholding sex for as long as possible only facilitates a deeper connection. When you immediately have sex with a man, your physical intimacy level doesn’t line up with the emotional intimacy you’ve built up to that point which can cause issues. It can cause him to value you less (it's silly, but things that are harder to attain are always perceived as more valuable) and lose interest because without an emotional connection, he'll feel like he's gotten what he wanted out of you. So wait for intimacy and once you've waited for as long as you can stand it, wait another month or two. That extra time will allow you to build a deeper emotional connection, allow the pent up excitement to magnetize x1000, and allow the first time to actually mean something. Also, some food for thought: a 2012 study from Cornell University surveyed couples about their relationship happiness, habits, and other intimate questions. Researchers said that participants who waited at least six months to have sex with their partners were actually happier than those who didn't.

Men get insecure too.

If you think you're the only one in the relationship that doesn't like the way your body looks or doesn't feel good enough for your job, you're mistaken. Just because your man isn't as vocal about his insecurities doesn't mean he has any less than you! Men just don't vocalize these insecurities because those who own up to them often feel as though being vulnerable is akin to admitting inadequacy. So they suffer in silence. And so a compliment here and there goes SUCH a long way because frankly, they need it. I always make a point to tell my man when his outfit looks great or when he does a great job on a task and every single time I do the sense of relief and gratitude is palpable. So try to become really attuned to your partner's insecurities and make sure to use compliments to buffer against them!

“He’s just not that into you".

Men are simple: if they want you, they'll do everything in their power to have you. Men have gone to war for women, lost their families for women, and even lost their lives for women. My own grandfather wrote letters every day to my grandmother for an entire year before she let him take her on a date. Trust me when I say that if a man isn't putting his all into a relationship, he's just not that into you. It's not his mommy issues, it's not his shitty job, it's not his depression, he's just not that into you. And as a woman, you have to be able to identify the fact immediately and walk away because it's simply not going to happen. Don't waste your time, just go find a man that is actually into you.

Most men watch porn.

And 99% of the men that do watch porn dedicate a horrifying amount of time watching porn. This is very important to know going into dating because porn creates an utterly false impression of what a normal body looks like and what sexual behavior is really about. It also creates a huge disconnect in a relationship because a relationship is meant to be a mutually satisfying expression of love but porn is about self-gratification and often involves dominating or mistreating the other person. So you have to understand how a man's relationship to porn can or will impact your relationship with him. If you're not comfortable with that impact, you have got to have an honest conversation about it. Personally, I don't feel comfortable with my man watching porn because most of it is downright abusive so I've had to have those uncomfortable conversations and while they're not fun, they're important. But moral of the story: yes, most men watch porn.

All men want to be heroes

And more importantly, they want to be heroes in the eyes of their partners. They need to feel like the knight in shining armor, the protector, and the savior to be content in the relationship. The "Hero Instinct" coined by Bauer, in a nutshell, is the fundamental need that men have to feel irreplaceable. When you take that role from them, they resent you. So sit back and let them feel like heroes. Let them hold the door open for you, replace that lightbulb, wipe your tears when you're sad, rescue you from an uncomfortable situation, etc. Most importantly, compliment them liberally when they do step up. Doing so will allow them to feel secure and in control, and in return allow you to feel cherished and cared for.

No man can resist one thing

If there's one thing that's irresistible to all men, it's motherly love and affection. A man's relationship with his mother is what allows him to develop vulnerability and intimacy in romantic relationships. So when you give a man that warm and loving energy, all guards will drop. He will become more attentive and caring, he will become more honest and respectful, and he will trust you more. Don't believe me? Next time you have some free time, gently grab your man by the arm, lead him to a comfortable sitting area, pull his head into your lap, and stroke his hair. Don't say anything, just allow him to lay and relax. I can guarantee you that he'll become putty in your arms and open up in ways he never has. So try to show your man that nurturing side of you whenever you can and watch the relationship transform significantly.

Lovingly,

Elle

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