More Career Tips Please!!

do you have any recommendations on how to spend one's holiday break during college? i'm not asking for recs related to traveling, shopping, etc. but more self-improvement-related activities i could do now that i often do not have time for during the week along with assignments, work, and whatnot. thank you, elle :).

Hey Anon! I'm just going to list out a few self-improvement-related things I enjoy :)

Cultivate Daily Meditation: Embrace a daily meditation practice, tailoring the duration to your comfort. I find dedicating time to mindfulness immensely valuable. Personally, I prefer a 15-minute meditation right before bedtime, creating a serene end to the day.

Craft a Comprehensive Budget and Invest Wisely: Formulate a detailed, achievable budget for the year. If you've managed savings, consider maximizing their potential by placing them in a high-yield savings account or a straightforward investment fund.

Declutter and Donate: Spend a half day decluttering your living space. Organize and label items you no longer need, and contribute to your local community by donating them to a Goodwill center. A tidy space often translates to a clearer mind.

Expand Your Network on LinkedIn: Explore LinkedIn to discover 10 professionals in careers that captivate you. Don't hesitate to reach out; the potential for gaining valuable insights is vast. Remember, reaching out is an opportunity, not a risk.

Give Back to the Community: Dedicate a couple of days on your calendar to volunteer at local establishments like food pantries, community gardens, or nursing homes. Contributing to your community is a fulfilling way to make a positive impact.

Explore Fitness Diversity with ClassPass: Opt for a ClassPass membership to diversify your workout routine. Utilize free trial credits to experiment with new fitness classes in your area, keeping your physical activity engaging and dynamic.

Try a Dopamine Detox for Mental Rejuvenation: Take a break from the constant stimuli by temporarily surrendering your phone to a trusted party for a day or two. This dopamine detox provides a chance to reflect and reconnect with yourself, fostering mental rejuvenation.

Indulge in a Novel Escape at a Local Cafe: Break away from mundane readings by treating yourself to a spicy romance novel. Binge-read it at a local cafe, allowing your soul a well-deserved break from routine. While not directly tied to self-improvement, it's a delightful way to nourish your spirit.

all the self help books and internet gurus in the world can't make you realise that unfortunately the way to get what you want isn't some hack or neat trick, but is just doing the work. and it's hard, but it's really the only thing that is going to fulfill you. you need to get up when your alarm goes off and go outside, make sure you move your body and eat enough, give yourself the time and space to actually think, and not spend your whole day on a screen.

Grace Kelly

dedicate life to something bigger than yourself. find your philosophy and embody that. remain on the path by upkeeping discipline. outside influences can lead you astray and trip you up but it's really you. YOU are the difference between stumbling and getting up versus continuously stumbling and remaining flat on your face. YOU have to order your steps and remember how to navigate life again. so you might as well find a "why" in life so you have a reason to keep going. big or small, just find something to hold onto while you're rebuilding that trust to keep going.

I'll say it as many times as it needs to be said: track your housework. Have a schedule and keep it. Make sure you know what you're doing every day. If you aren't keeping track, it's so easy to fall into a rut and feel like you haven't done anything. It's so easy to over work yourself. Much of household maintenance is invisible. If you're keeping up, your home will pretty much look consistent and it gets difficult to recognize all the work you've actually put in to keep it that way.

When I first started, I'd over work myself to the point of passing out each day because I wasn't pacing myself. I was trying to deep clean the entire house every single day, which is not only impractical, but also impossible to maintain. I started tracking everything and now not only do I have more energy but I have time for myself during the day. I don't burn out anymore. Keeping track and scheduling is sincerely a lifesaver.

Set behavioral goals! It is such a game changer. Instead of setting goals that you can not 100% control, for example “I want to weigh XXX amount” set behavioral goals such as “I want to exercise for at least 30 min 4 days out of the week”.

You have so much more control over your behavior/actions which means it will be easier to maintain and thus helping potentially reaching your end goal. Focus on creating goals related to behavior change that include action steps!

Hey luv💗, What's an unpopular opinion you have on life

Also how are you doing today?

I hope you're doing great✨

Hey babe!

I'm doing fine today, and I really hope you're doing amazing too! Still have finals upcoming but the studying is coming along nicely.

Some people can be really unwilling to take your advice, and that's so energy draining. They might seem open to change, receptive to your advice, make declarations that they want to change and get better. But they're all words no actions.

But the thing is, they're not gonna be really obvious at first. I struggled to distinguish between those that would flourish and return the same to me, and those "puppets of Life". But with time, I've noticed that they tend to lack ambition, creativity, to be really conformist to norms, and anything outside of expected normal is gonna make them deeply inconfortable. Not everyone is made to succeed, some people are gonna stay miserable all their lives and that's NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

Some people are gonna say you're a bitch for not caring about those "puppets of Life" people, sadly. That you're heartless, that those people NEED your help. Prepare yourself for that eventuality.

I've given so much advice and energy to those kind of people and they didn't move one IOTA. And if they move, it was due to life circumstances that gave them no other choice. Like them being fired, a death, etc. Exceptional circumstances.

Those that are worth giving advice to are those that have big dreams, those that don't hesitate to break the mold, those that give you back the SAME energy you send off to those, if not more. Once you come across one of those diamonds, you will FEEL it.

Also, sending off a vibe of ambition, progress, glowing up, will attract same-minded people that will uplift you. It all starts with you.

Everyone else that doesn't returns your effort is to be blocked off. No pity, and that even includes family or friends.

the good life essentials: the ultimate guide to getting what you want 💭

for so long i always felt a sense of struggle when it came to my achievements. i could reach my goals but it always felt so hard, and it usually came paired with periods of burn out and malaise. then i found out why: i was often neglecting foundational needs, living in chaos and not taking proper care of myself, and trying to zoom straight to big-picture achievements.

below is my ultimate guide to 'the good life'. the more balance you can achieve in each category, the easier and more pleasurable it becomes to reach your goals. you will still have to stretch yourself and explore beyond your limits... but it should feel relatively nice because you are supported by a nourishing lifestyle.

you deserve a beautiful, healthy, passion-filled life. here's how you get it:

01. your foundation: the essentials

physical health: create nourishing routines for sleep, exercise, and nutrition. your literal energy starts here, so if you’re trying to bring positive energy to your life and achieve success, you need foundational energy.

mental and emotional health: build resilience and develop strategies for coping with pressure and stress. take care of your mental health always, not just when you’re already spinning out.

financial stability: learn to manage your money wisely. budgeting, saving, and debt management are a must.

02. your core: connections + fulfilment

your home: whether you have just a bed, a room, an apartment, or a whole house, create a safe, comforting space to recharge and feel grounded.

strong relationships: surround yourself with supportive and meaningful connections - so much about ourselves is defined by those we are close with so choose wisely.

meaningful work: follow your sense of purpose and find work or projects that bring a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction to your life. remember that it may not always be paid work. if you have no idea, just keep trying things and follow what interests you, while working on the next stage.

03. your growth: personal development

personal growth: invest into self improvement, developing new skills, growing your knowledge and learning as much as possible.

spiritual fulfilment: find purpose, whether through spirituality, self-reflection, or a connection to something bigger.

creativity & self-expression: explore creative outlets and express your true self to find a grounding sense of joy and authenticity.

04. your larger contribution: beyond the self

community & contribution: give back, volunteer, or participate in community initiatives to connect with a greater sense of purpose and life-giving connection.

legacy & impact: define the mark you want to leave on the world, through family, work, or contributions to society. think deeply about what you wish to leave behind and tailor your life to this goal.

05. your enrichment: quality of life enhancers

play & leisure: make time for joy, hobbies, and relaxation for rejuvenation, calm, and passion. if your day to day work isn't your passion, it's so essential to find passion here.

time in nature: regularly connect with the outdoors for grounding and mental clarity.

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Find & Be A Good Friend To Other High-Value Women

Approach finding friends like you would dating (which is essentially a networking activity). Meet and mingle with as many people as you desire but refine your vetting process for your friends well before your next social interaction – whether it's a group get-together, coffee/lunch date, or a party/work event from which prospective friendship could potentially flourish.

Set your friendship standards. Know the types of people, common interests, values, lifestyle, etc., you desire to have within your friendships. Consider the type and frequency of communication that gives you energy. Be aware of your boundaries so you can communicate them calmly, clearly, and with kindness. Embody the type of friend you would want to have in your life already. Compatibility will minimize conflict in any type of relationship, including friendships.

Remind yourself that it can be more fulfilling to have friends that suit different needs, interests, activities, and sides of your personality. Once you understand what your "ideal" friend or friendships look like, you use this "best friend" archetype to divide up these qualities among the people you meet IRL. See if you click with someone who suits some of these characteristics & shared goals/interests. Choose friends you admire in different areas of their lives. Some friends may be in your life because you connect over your ambitious personalities or bond over working in the same industry/field. Other friends may be so much fun to go out with or chat about romantic relationships with, while others can be great travel companions, intellectuals, workout class friends, etc.

Practice differentiation. Understand both of you have your own boundaries, expectations, desires, and personal limits. Communicate your needs directly without people pleasing while still showing empathy and validating the other person's equal right to have their own boundaries, expectations, desires, and emotional/logistical limitations. People-pleasing is a form of manipulation because this self-sacrificing leaves you resentful of the relationship and blindsides the other person because they didn't know they crossed your boundaries. If someone crosses your boundaries and you address it from a compassionate "it's me, not you" POV, genuine friends will react to your reply from a place of understanding. To be a good friend, you need to do the same. Good friends respect each others' needs and would never threaten the friendship because you need to take care of yourself first.

Be their ultimate hype woman. Show up when it counts, follow up, and engage with a genuine interest. Cheer your friends on when they're going after and achieve their goals. Don't let jealousy & a scarcity mindset get to you. Show support for their wins. Be genuinely happy for them. Go to their milestone events (if you're invited and able to within reason), and send them words of encouragement before a big work presentation, interview, date, etc. Follow up after a coffee date to see how a certain conversation or event went if it seemed important to them. Ask them questions and thoughtful follow-up questions about their lives/something they brought up to discuss. Curiosity is the simplest way to form a connection – especially in conversation.

Don't try to one-up your friends. You appear haughty and insecure when you do this. Good friends complement and compound – not compromise – each others' successes.

Keep it real. Set each other up to win. Good friends don't let their friends ruin their lives, goals, health, or reputation. Call out a friend's bad or desperate behavior by using language that criticizes their behaviors vs. their character (Ex: "Remember how bad your ex made you feel about yourself, you don't deserve to put yourself through that again and spend this precious time with people who care about you or going on dates with others who will value what you have to offer." vs. "You're dumb for getting back together with your ex. You're so desperate for his attention/to be in a relationship." Another example: "Yeah, not working out and eating junk food all day can make you feel sluggish and lazy. You're too cool to be acting like this. It's time to live a healthier lifestyle again so you can be your best self so we can all appreciate your energy to the fullest again." vs. "You've turned into a slob. Get it together.")

Be trustworthy. Everything they share in confidence is top-secret information unless they disclose otherwise. Only share their successes in public. Keep friends' struggles private. Don't be two-faced. Stand by your friend to their face and when they leave the room.

Schedule time to make each other a priority. Invite them out. Set a date on the weekly/monthly calendar to hang out, Facetime, have a long catch-up call with each other, etc. Create fun rituals you do together with each friend or in groups of friends.

Follow through with the plans you set in stone (unless there's a true emergency/late night at work/you feel sick, etc.). Never cancel last minute unless it's essential for your well-being. Show up when you say you will. Respect other people's time. Don't be flaky.