Sittin Chillin Thinkin (sleepin)

TW blood

OMG THANK YOU 💕💕💕 I'm so fckin proud of being moots with you aaaaaaaa ❤❤❤

Marama has fallen ill so low effort steampunk au designs for you guys (I liked designing alternative gear yup)

@lily-claw I fooled you here's the surprise cuz our random chats give me the best ideas

I plan a few big things in terms of writing, so I needed to write down a few key points about this blog in advance (I'm not a good writer, but the ideas they're there anyway, I need to share)

I plan to write something on this blog once in never, so I need to clarify some things so I don't type it all down every single time.

I'm an average Toga Himiko enjoyer. She's not my favorite character ever, and I understand why some people don't like her, but she's my favorite character to draw. I think this kind of love is valid too.

Ochako Uraraka doesn't hold much of my interest (even if socionics says she'd be my ideal partner, heh). But character interaction is cool, so I'll include her in my content too, just don't think it's out of pure undying love (she's a sweetheart anyway).

I DON'T ship togachako (I rarely ship characters in general), but I like every single piece of content about them and find the whole dynamic fascinating. So yes, I'm willing to contribute, just... on the platonic side.

Some things I say about the characters may sound as overly critical or dismissive. It's not to offend the characters, or fans, or anyone else, I just point out flaws where I see them (being my usual blunt self). Just remember that a bad person doesn't mean a bad character specifically (works both ways).

I don't say the way I see the characters is the only right one. Quite the opposite, I always see them through the prism of my experience and knowledge, and it's The Charm about studying and loving things. I'm always willing to learn more and discuss. Discussion in particular is my favorite thing.

I respect your tastes. I don't aim to offend you. So please, save the peace of mind for us all.

Chill. And enjoy what we create together here.

dividers are created by me if you're curious

*gasp* THANKS!!! I was so anxious you guys won't like it cause it's like... much darker than I usually do, but you actually finding it inspiring- I'd absolutely LOVE if you write something of your own and if anyone else would like to write I'd just AAAAAA 🤧🤧🤧

I'm rewatching Hannibal and an AU came to me… unexpectedly.

(Togachako) Hero x Serial killer!AU (feat. pro hero!Deku and Dynamight) ~☆

tw: bad English, lots of rambling, toxic relationship, we're not romanticizing tgck so proceed with caution (and after reading the disclaimer, please), any tw you can associate with Himiko Toga is here (nothing graphic though), overanalysing stuff, amateur psychology and all, dark content in general

Ochako has been unsure what she wants to do after finally starting her hero career, so she basically tries anything she can reach.

Working in the sea with Tsu, galas and interviews with Yaomomo, traveling with Deku (I feel he'd want to spend the rest of his power to see the world and his lots and lots of friends overseas). This time she finds herself getting into the world of quirk-related investigations under the tutelage of Katsuki whose solved criminal case count rapidly approaches the one of Endeavor (his character arc calls to me to be continued after Endeavor's path, please don't pay attention haha).

And with all that, she still tries to save face, knowing that she could've stopped this particular deranged story with just a word.

Why? Well, maybe she knows that no person in the world can leave DNA of people long dead and flaunt bloody confessions on the walls at the same time. No person who's not Himiko Toga.

The traps are set, the cycle starts its turn…

The very start:

° Himiko has genuine fun taunting Ochako with killing civilians while wearing her face

° She thinks she'll give Ochako the "freedom of expressing love" in a way she assumes Ochako wants but can't afford

° Himiko doesn't hide the fact she kills for Ochako and with Ochako's name on her lips

° Himiko torments her victims being transformed into whoever strikes her fancy, but the final strike is always performed so the last thing the poor prey sees is soulful, most gorgeous brown eyes in the world

° Himiko steals blood from the organization Ochako donors for (it's her way of coping with the trauma left by the Final Battle)

° Knowing the traces of her DNA are left at the crime scene even if she certainly didn't leave them there slowly corrodes Ochako's mental defenses

° She starts dreaming and hallucinating about killing those people herself until she can't tell reality from these images

° At one point she sees herself killing people wearing Himiko's face

° Himiko certainly uses it to her advantage. Who'd know when she gets into Ochako's apartment to whisper about all the ways she torments people from the shadowed corners?

° Guilt-tripping Ochako into justifying her actions too

As the madness progresses:

° Ochako can't draw the line between herself and Himiko anymore

° They complete each other in no way that is socially acceptable, but it feels right

° Ochako still tries to convince herself she's a good person and now this applies to Himiko as well because Himiko is "her" now too

° It's like they're drowning and melting into each other, minds a mingled mess of issues and fears, clinging, warping, breaking...

° Ochako's hands are bloody and Himiko hugs her from behind, cooing sweet nothings into her ear as they stare down at the newest "masterpiece" together

° Clay, warm hands and shaking fingers

° Ochako feels phantom touches on her skin all the time

° Himiko is being all giddy and "affectionate" with her victims, calling them "cute little presents" which she leaves for Ochako

The final stages:

° Ochako has a dream of killing Izuku. She fantasizes about it a lot later. There are tons of guilt and self-loathing, but she feels it would be the right thing to do. Become a way to "thank" Himiko by showing her effort isn't one-sided. She somehow knows it'd end the vicious cycle, but she just can't

° The Devil and Stockholm Syndrome (it's kinda questionable, I know, so we're taking it with a grain of salt)

° Dissociation

° Devil's advocate

° Cases named after astronomical phenomena

° Christmas, and Ochaco finds a bunch of vials filled with blood, all wrapped in a pretty thick red ribbon with a pompous bow on top. It's the legacy they've created together

Note:

I don't see the two as a healthy romantic relationship (I don't say you can't, it's just my opinion), so this scenario is relatively close to what I'd call realistic. Ochako who sees herself as a good person in any case (even if she's just too selfish to confront herself deep inside) and Himiko who takes the role of the bad part where Ochako can't.

Psychobabble (I'm no professional, it's more about how I feel than anything):

I based this whole AU on the traits I found in original manga and just extrapolated/exaggerated them into whatever this is now

Ochako loses feeling of what differs saving others and saving oneself and chooses to save "herself" (aka Himiko) in the end

Ochako is outright childish. She can't let the mask of a "hero" slip only because it's her shield against the world. She's torn apart by the ideas society put in her head, she can't imagine the concepts of "protect the weak" and "everyone is valid" existing together

In the end, she just resorts to the Friend or Foe (mine/anyone else) worldview so it's easier to process. Of course, what is "hers" is always considered as right and justified

Her empathy for Himiko has gotten to the point where it starts to consume her. She projects herself, her fears and motivations on Himiko, and it only makes things worse

Although, her empathy is quite selective. She can't empathize with the families of those who are killed by Toga. She thinks she can, but it comes from the guilt brewing inside her (it's still focused on self), not actual ability to put herself in others' place

Ochako feels she can be "like Deku", that she can save and forgive "bad people" like him. She finds comfort in such thoughts and hides behind them so she doesn't need to acknowledge the drastic differences in the situations

About the character archetypes:

For Ochako I can't figure out just one, but if I name the type it'd be "Not Bad But Confused" probably. Issues come from the fact her personality is too adaptive, and her worldview has shifted severely and continues to do so. In this situation, her way of coping happened to be finding an anchor in the wrong person, it happens to people all the time in real life too after all

Himiko shows as a symbolic "Devil", her presence is more phantom/ephemeral. Yes, she poisons Ochako's thoughts greatly, but the most work is done by Ochako and her own insecurities

Deku is similar to her, more of a symbol than a character. He's needed more as a deity-like/almost religious presence. Kinda ironic that his original character is heavily under the Hero Myth's (not sure how it's called in English, sorry) influence which is connected to the Bible in some ways

Katsuki stands out a bit as he's clearly the "workaholic cop" (workaholic hero in our case), no more than that as per his role. He's here so Ochako can value herself as "above his way of thinking". Side by side she clearly comes out as more "understanding" and sympathetic (NOT EMPATHETIC, don't confuse the terms!). Well, he's the person to bring her back to earth. A stoic one without a prominent character arc (it's often considered bad, but a flat arc can also be fine when handled properly)

Dividers are created by me.

If you're willing to take this AU under your wing or do something inspired by it, please credit me (you can tag me too)

my lovelies @dailytogachako @bigclownshoes @luxkycharmz you asked me to tag you, I hope I didn't forget anyone...

Okay okay I'm NOT leaving my girl without a b-day present, NO WAY

[IN PROGRESS]

TODAY IS HIMIKO'S BIRTHDAY AND I FORGOT TO MAKE AN ART...........

bro thinks they’re Laura and Carmilla

well... happy new year

I just checked and do you know how many layers it took to make these?

121 (and 11 hours wtf)

.....

💀💀💀

I can't keep myself from thinking that at some point Himiko practiced acting like her loved ones cuz we somewhat forgot about "loving is becoming who you love" thingy

Look at the prev versions and cringe with me cuz I'm dying here they're so wonky

I finally got my hands on continuing my Toga Tarot series yayyy

Really wanted to go with more of a childlike drawing style with this one soooo

Ten of pentacles is about family, home and security, having people who accept you and enjoying comfort and stability

This card kept me thinking: What if someone reached before it was too late? What if someone could give Himiko the life she deserved?

"For the greater good? No, for my own good. For my own, and for ones I love as my family."

part 4/x

Other cards:

Three of cups

Four of cups

Eight of swords