(an Attempt Of) Luke In The Clone Wars (2003) Style

Headcanon that Luke and Obi Wan got the money to pay Han Solo by selling the moisture farm at bargain-basement prices in Anchorhead without telling anyone that it was totally torched, and by the time anyone find out they were well off planet. Luke now has a reputation as one of Tattooine’s most famous con men despite the fact that it was Obi Wan who ran the con.

It’s taken a bit longer to finish than intended, but here at least is another Ghosts fan comic. I’ve simplified everyone a bit compared to the first one, but such is the nature of comics.

Ok tumblr today I am going to ramble about something. It was discussed in the obikin discord i thinkkk probably about a year ago now? But:

Obligate cannibal stewjoni.

I figure thats not everyone’s jam, so more about biological logistics and how that applies to our good friend Obi-wan below the cut vv

So I know the biology surrounding an obligate cannibal would have to be kind of funky but basically in my mind the prion diseases that would kill irl humans provides a necessary nutrient in stewjoni lifeforms. Perhaps two or more separate humanoid species are the only living things left on the planet after its other meat sources have been hunted to extinction, leaving only the humanoid species left. Maybe a herbivore group vs a group of obligate carnivores? Or maybe it’s just one carnivorous group that utilizes slavery/human husbandry/ human sacrifice? Regardless, it causes them to evolve over time into obligate cannibals. Or something. I offer you an obi-wan with pointed, ripping teeth and (optionally) nails that grow in naturally sharp.

I figure the temple provides Obi-wan with synthetic meat or supplement pills or something that has the added nutrients needed for a stewjoni initiate, so he never actually feels the craving for humanoid flesh until he gets put in a situation where those rations are not readily available to him. I also figure they probably give him special classes on his own biology so he knows how important it actually is to keep those rations/supplements on him at all times, but. You know. Shit just happens to Obi-wan LOL.

Qui-gon discovering a young Obi-wan on Melida-Daan wide eyed and drenched in blood, having gone without his supplements for too long for the first time and deciding that no, he will NOT in fact train this feral animal (he does infact begrudgingly train this feral animal). Qui-gon is wary of this boy, treats him like a dangerous animal that needs to be controlled, and in response, ever grateful for the chance to probe that he is not too wild to be domesticated, his padawan becomes just that. Obi-wan is the perfect jedi, you would scarcely know of his origin planet if not for those teeth (he files his nails down and smiles with his mouth closed. Nothing to be done for speaking, unfortunately.)

There is a significantly more upsetting, dead-dove rabbithole that could be followed regarding one Anakin Skywalker’s missing hand and a master that is Not Normal about his padawan, how something about the boy just makes his teeth itch for the hot, steady gush of fresh blood, but I digress. Im always down to talk about weird starwarse biology and even moreso about obligate cannibal obiwan, but I think I will leave this here for now… :3

Cody gets bitten by a werewolf sometime during the war, and can transform at will with no full moon requirement, effectively becoming himself as a very large dog

he and Obi-Wan conspire to keep this fact hidden, as they're very aware of the danger of the Kaminoans finding out and disappearing him into their labs

when Order 66 goes out, Cody has a split second to fight it

and, well. wolves aren't exactly good soldiers, and you can only sort of expect them to follow orders.

transformed, Cody runs straight to the General, but when he gets there, he realizes that he can't actually warn him of the danger, because he can't transform back to explain without the Order taking hold

but he can whine sadly and pull on Obi-Wan's ridiculous sleeves with his teeth until Obi-Wan gets the hint and lets him lead him away to safety in a stolen ship

they make the rendezvous with Bail and Yoda

(Bail: what's with the dog Obi-Wan?

Obi-Wan, sweating: it's, um, a service dog

Yoda: ...fake, that sounds, but okay)

and then Cody and Obi-Wan make the trip to the Temple to disable the beacon, with Cody fighting off his brothers as nonlethally as he can while Obi-Wan does his best to follow his lead

after they find the evidence of Anakin's betrayal and receive Yoda's assignment, Obi-Wan sobs into Cody's fur the whole flight to Padme's apartment, and then silently the whole flight out to Mustafar hidden aboard her ship

while Obi-Wan is busy fighting with Vader, Cody manages to drag Padme's unconscious body back aboard her ship, then sneaks back closer to the fighting just in time to see the end of the duel

(if he waits to act until Obi-Wan is just far enough to not notice when Anakin's screams cut out, well, that's his own business)

he follows Obi-Wan back to the ship and drapes himself across the man's lap the whole way to Polis Massa

after Padme's death and her children's birth, Cody demands that they keep at least one of the babies

(look at his puppy dog eyes. how can you so cruelly deprive him of tubies like this.)

so Luke grows up with his Uncle Ben and their very strange, very large dog, Cody

when they end up on the Death Star nearly two decades later, Cody materializes from wherever he'd been lurking on the station just in time to drag Obi-Wan to safety during his duel with the Grand Inquisitor

as soon as their bedraggled group arrives on Yavin, Rex shows up to eagerly greet his former General; Cody, while thrilled to see his brother alive, starts viciously growling at him as he approaches: he might not understand in detail how the chips work, but he knows what he experienced that day, and he's seen what his brothers have done since then

Obi-Wan explains the situation to the man from the Cody-approved distance of half the hangar away, how Cody transformed one day and has refused to turn back since, and Rex immediately expresses his confusion, asking if they haven't removed Cody's chip

(Cody: I assure you, I did NOT let anyone microchip me!)

following Rex's explanation, Cody rushes them all to the medbay to undergo surgery, leaving Obi-Wan to explain to Luke how their 'dog' is actually his other Uncle

while Obi-Wan and Cody are distracted desperately making out with each other in the medbay, Luke sneaks off to destroy the Death Star, setting them up to all live happily ever after

Carter from Hogan's Heroes keeping his nitroglycerin in a furniture polish container with the label "shake well before using" lives in my mind rent free.

*gently holds* (trollstuck designs by @dawsonschristian)

been laughing at this for an hour straight.

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Weiterlesen

I am a proud member of the (probably) three people that enjoyed watching the Phantom Menace.

I really like Padawan Obi-Wan, he is so cute (?, i don't know if that is the right word)

In a different world,

Han Solo is a sleeper agent working for the empire. Just before the battle of endor he rearranges the attack so he can neutralize the team, and leaves Luke.