Always
The ideal balance.
I think I'll use this line. It is a groaner but still a good one.
Lately, I have discovered many of the people I have been chatting with have been deceiving me. I suppose in a place where you can shield yourself behind a screen, it is expected. I'm tired of all that. I want to thank you for the conversations but I just don't have the energy for deceit. I'm not going to call anyone out directly. You know who you are.
For all of the rest, please be genuine with me.
Special room service
Always
Definitely worth watching the entire clip.
It’s not very common for me to initiate sex or play. That’s mostly because we have plenty of both as it is. My needs are met before I even think to go after them myself.
But also, I’m not sure I’m any good at initiating. I’m good at subtle teasing and playfulness when I’m feeling needy. I’m good at having conversations where I state my needs clearly and directly (e.g., “I am beginning to feel like I will need a spanking soon”). But I’m not great at overtly initiating in a sexy way. With my ex-husband, I sometimes initiated sex by saying, “So how about you and me have some sex later?” That line had a 100% success rate, for the record. But yeah… I don’t have a lot of game.
The other issue is that initiating play feels somehow wrong as a submissive. In my head, I know it’s not. In my head, I know that initiating is a suggestion, not a decision. But the bolder the come-on, the more uncomfortable it feels. Like I’m wearing someone else’s clothes.
Still, sometimes I do try to initiate. I know he likes to see my hunger for him. He likes to see where my head is at and what I want. So the other day I put on lingerie and heels, then laid floggers and canes neatly on the bed. They were mostly—though not exclusively—my favorite implements. I’d never been so bold, and it made me nervous. Was it going too far? Would I earn a punishment for pushing a little too hard? I didn’t think so, but then again, this was uncharted territory. I was barely ready by the time he got home.
We had a wonderful impact session, with deep, thuddy pain and enough tears to feed my sadist. But first, he started with something he knows I dislike. He started with hitting my pussy. It almost felt like punishment to me, but in a playful way. It felt as if he were saying, Okay, girl. You want impact? I’ll give you impact… It felt like a reminder that I should be careful not to forget my place. But when we talked after, he said that wasn’t it.
“I was saying, Okay, you had a good idea. Now you can let go. I will take it from here. Because I didn’t want you to be in your head about whether I really wanted it or if I was doing it for you.”
And truthfully, that is fair. A cornerstone of our relationship is that I am absolutely not in charge. I am considered a trusted advisor; he wants to know my thoughts and feelings and opinions. But the choices are his. And that’s exactly how I want it. Our power exchange is sacred to me, and I never want to do anything that could undermine it.
I think this is why it’s so hard for me to initiate. Initiating is a bold declaration of my own wants. And in some respects, I need for my wants to come last. I prefer to express my wants indirectly—through porn I share with him or flirty “I was thinking about that time when…” comments. Laying it all out there (literally) feels like putting my wants first. It feels like stepping out of my place.
But when he started hitting my pussy, as much as I hated it, those concerns washed away. That action calmed my brain. It reassured me that his wants come before mine. And with that, I was able to let go and stay in the moment, rather than overthinking my own actions.
I’m learning to trust that the power exchange we’ve built is strong, and a few implements suggestively laid on the bed won’t be enough to derail it. I’ve been with some insecure Dominants in the past who never would have allowed it. But Monsieur has shown me time and time again that I can rely on his firm control. He makes decisions carefully and with purpose. Sometimes he says no, and sometimes he says yes. Either way, making the suggestion isn’t the same as taking charge. If he chooses to do something for me, it’s because that’s what he wants to do. It’s that simple.
The more we talk about it, the more confident I grow in trying to initiate play. Now I’m even wondering if it’s time to step up my game. Maybe next time, I drop a crop in his lap and give him some raised eyebrows and a wink wink. That’s how you flirt, right?
I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…
Aftercare
Aftercare 101
Aftercare For Dominants
Coping With Emotional Subdrop
Dom Drop
How To Make A Sub Drop Kit
Online Aftercare
sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare
Subdrop and Aftercare
Subspace and Aftercare
Consent
Consent & BDSM
Guide to Consent
Doms, Daddies & Masters
7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom
12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive
25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles
30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman
45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For
50 Rules for Daddies
100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess
101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)
Alternative Names For “Daddy”
Alternative Domme Titles
Aspects Of Control
Asserting Ownership - Rules
Daddy Up!
Defining A Daddy Dom
Dominants Need Training Also
Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles
Help For New Doms
How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive
How To Be A Good Dominant
How to Find a Submissive
Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man
New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom
Observations On Doms By A Submissive
So you want to be a Dom?
So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her
Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know
The Dom Commandments
Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind
What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective
What does the title Daddy mean?
What is a Daddy Dom?
What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?
What It Means To Be A Dominant
What Makes A Good Dominant
Littles, Subs & Slaves
6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant
7 Common Types of Submissives
10 Tips For Living With A Sadist
10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive
11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant
26 Baby Girl Jobs
50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy
A Bottom’s Responsibility
A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive
A Man Who Knows You…
A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom
Acid Test For Subs
Ask A Million And One Questions
Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective
Baby girl or little? A brief introduction
Care and feeding of Daddies
Characteristics Of A Good Daddy
Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner
Feminist Submissive
Finding Your Dominant
Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By
Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls
How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.
“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.
How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?
How To Find A Dom
How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom
I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy
Novice Submissives
Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK
Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’
Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.
Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts
Submissive Pride
Submissive Traits - Intelligence
Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me
What is a Little?
When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.
Why I call him Daddy
Your Rights As A Submissive
Long Distance Relationships
10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship
Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship
How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work
Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope
Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans
The Long Distance D/s Relationship
Mental Health
BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers
Body image & BDSM
How to Get Over Feeling Sad
Is BDSM normal?
Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!
Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship
Meditation And Mindfulness
On Cutting
Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories
Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction
Tips for Recovering from Codependency
What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)
Why Do I Feel Unloveable?
Relationships
10 Habits of Happy Couples
10 Top Communication Mistakes
10 Types of Emotional Manipulators
12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget
50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”
BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End
BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways
Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective
Communication Is Key
Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships
Daddy Doms and their little girls
Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More
Date Night In A Jar
DD/lg In Public
D/s and Domestication
Factors That Make A Relationship
Finding Love When You Least Expect It
Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests
How To Be Present In Your Relationships
How To Build A Healthy Relationship
How To Get What You Want In A Relationship
How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”
How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level
Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship
Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship
Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait
Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore
Searching for a D/s partner?
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships
Stop Arguments Before They Start
The Rewards of a Submissive
Types Of Relationship Insecurity
Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship
What Is Real Love?
When He Doesn’t Call
Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better
Safety
Another life ruined because of the morality police
Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!
Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t
Limits in BDSM
What is Emotional Abuse?
Self Improvement
10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life
10 Steps To Self Care
10 Ways To Be Happy
10 Truths To Live By
Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive
How to be Yourself
How To Deal With Your Enemies
How To Ignore Haters
How to Recognize a Toxic Friend
How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
Slut Shaming Explained
Tips for Healing a Broken Heart
What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?
Sex
50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women
Basics of Breath Play
D/s or Kinky Sex?
Fetishes Explained
How To Make A Girl Squirt
How To Tell Your Son About Sex
Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality
Sensual Biting
Sex: Myths & Stereotypes
Sex: Practical Details
Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control
So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women
Squirting Educational Video
Squirting Notes
Toys
Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs
BDSM on a budget
Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)
Training
10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs
30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten
40 Very Important DD/lg Facts
Age Play: A Short Guide
BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play
DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)
Etiquette in BDSM Part 1
Etiquette in BDSM Part 2
Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings
Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind
Glossary of BDSM Terms
Guide To Blood Play
Guide To Bruising
Guide To Talking Dirty
Guide To Wax Play
How Do I Get Started In BDSM?
How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest
How To Make A Comfort Box
Introduction To BDSM
Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting
Punishments in BDSM Relationships
Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships
Some Thoughts On Rules
The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility
The Need For Rules and Discipline
Topping from the bottom
Stunning dark haired beauty who defines the term sexy walking. Love the tight white mini dress and stiletto heels. Phenomenal woman!
Sigma Male. PHL area. I'm looking to make friends. I'm the older man type. I would truly enjoy hearing from you. Send me an IM/DM. I don't claim ownership of any of these images.
195 posts