I Just Can't With These Candid Freebatch Moments...

Blackbeard and Stede in Our Flag Means Death 1x09

where are we? —i was following you! / let me tempt you to a spot of lunch! / hungry?

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

In 0.5 seconds and without saying a single word, Michael Sheen changed lives.

This was the bitchiest bitch moment Aziraphale had in all 2 seasons. Thank you for your service, respectfully, I am deceased.

GIF credit: @wildsflag

May Prompts 🌺

Word prompts to use for doodling or writing

strawberries

adventure

golden hour

lake house

picnic

mayflower

nostalgia

homecoming

juice box

farmer’s market

morning light

birdsong

drive-in theater

island

photographs

riptide

coffee-to-go

tree house

instrument

cerulean

porch

animal shelter

lemonade

potted plant

spirit

milkshake

orchids

field

petrichor

sketching

memory lane

Yes yes! We love it when the softies get angry and and angrys get soft! 😍

we go just right.

Masking a change of heart. Femlock Fluff

My blush was spreading from my chest up to my neck under her attentive gaze.

"Do you mean it?" I released in a breath I hadn't realised was being held. What would she respond with? Of course Jean, you fit society's expectations of aesthetics? No, she'd be more inclined to wave her hand and in one flourish dismiss me to my date.

"Do you want for me to mean it?" Her right eyebrow was raised and she flitted her eyes up to mine for only a brief moment. Goddammit! That was more than banter. That had to be a flirty rhetorical question. What was I supposed to think? Do? Say? I didn't seem to have time to wonder before she swept the laptop aside and stood to approach me.

She reached for my left arm and touched the sleeve with her fingers and her eyes. My breath hitched as I watched the fabric smoothen beneath her stroke and contour to the curve of my arm. The heat rose to my cheeks and forehead. Damn my disposition for blushing. She could no doubt see my pulse was rising, could feel the blood rushing through my veins. There had been months of flirtations here and there but I'd never taken it seriously. Sherlock was by her own admission disinterested in the subject of romance and sex. I felt an undeniable instinct that this was the moment the final wall would come down.