Healing For A Better Future: Why My Next Relationship Deserves A Fresh Start

Is Happiness an End Goal or Simply a By-Product of Other Things?

Happiness is a concept that has puzzled philosophers, scientists, and everyday people for centuries. We often hear about the pursuit of happiness, as if it's the ultimate end goal of life. But is happiness really something we should strive for directly, or is it more of a by-product of other pursuits and experiences? Some people believe that happiness should be the ultimate goal in life. They argue that everything we do, whether it’s working hard, building relationships, or pursuing hobbies, is ultimately driven by the desire to be happy. From this perspective, happiness is seen as the final destination. We set goals, achieve them, and then experience happiness as a reward. For many, this direct pursuit of happiness involves focusing on positive thinking, mindfulness, and self-care, all aimed at creating a state of well-being.

On the other hand, there is a growing belief that happiness is not something we can achieve by directly aiming for it. Instead, it’s a by-product of other activities and pursuits. According to this view, when we focus too much on trying to be happy, it can actually make us feel more stressed and less satisfied. Instead, happiness often comes from living a meaningful life, engaging in activities we are passionate about, and building strong relationships. When we immerse ourselves in things we love and care about, happiness naturally follows.

There’s also the idea that happiness is fleeting and dependent on various factors outside our control. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s unrealistic to expect constant happiness. Instead of chasing an elusive state of perpetual happiness, some suggest focusing on building resilience and finding joy in small moments. This approach acknowledges that while we may not always be happy, we can cultivate a sense of contentment and gratitude that helps us navigate life’s challenges.

In my opinion, happiness is more likely to be a by-product of other things rather than an end goal. When we shift our focus from trying to be happy to engaging in meaningful activities, building strong relationships, and pursuing our passions, we often find that happiness naturally follows. It’s about finding joy in the journey, not just the destination. By living authentically and embracing the present moment, we can experience a deeper, more lasting sense of fulfillment and happiness. Ultimately, whether happiness is seen as an end goal or a by-product may depend on personal perspective and life experiences. What’s important is to find a balance that works for us individually, allowing us to live a fulfilling and joyful life.

Happy New Year everyone! It’s noisy out here! ♥️ Despite of all the noise around, I’m doing a movie marathon of LOTR and The Hobbit. Hope you’re having a blast tonight! 💗

Depression is an odd thing. It doesn’t always stem from a single reason, and it’s not something I can just “snap out of.” There’s a common misconception that people are depressed because they’re constantly sad, but that’s not always the case. For me, it feels like a heavy weight that sits on my chest, something that zaps my energy, motivation, and joy—even on days when everything is going okay.

Some days, it’s the little things that pile up: unanswered emails, personal doubts, the pressure of being a parent—especially to a son with autism—and the overwhelming sense that I’m just not doing enough. Other times, it’s bigger, unresolved issues, like dealing with loss, past traumas, or feeling like I’m constantly underperforming in areas of my life, despite my best efforts.

Living with depression also makes relationships tricky. I often feel disconnected from people, even those I love. Sometimes, I withdraw, not because I don’t care but because I just don’t have the energy to keep up. Other times, I overcompensate, trying too hard to be present, only to feel drained afterward.

As a single mother, I’m responsible for more than just myself, and that pressure can be overwhelming. While I love my son deeply, managing life on my own sometimes feels like walking uphill with weights tied to my legs. It’s not about him—it’s about the relentless pressure of trying to be everything for everyone while still battling my own inner demons.

I go to therapy because I know I need help unraveling everything that’s been tangled up inside for years. There are days when I feel a glimmer of hope, when I feel like maybe things are turning around. But there are also days when I just need to ride out the storm, trusting that even though it feels endless, it will eventually pass.

So if I seem distant, tired, or not like myself, it’s not that I’m avoiding anyone. It’s just that I’m doing my best to survive the battle that’s happening inside my own head.

Why Some Men See Accountability as an Attack Instead of Growth

Accountability. A simple concept, right? Own up to your actions, learn from mistakes, grow as a person. But for some men, being held accountable feels like an all-out assault on their very existence. The moment they hear, “Hey, that wasn’t cool,” they react like you just questioned their entire identity. So why does accountability send some guys into full-on defense mode instead of helping them grow? Hmm. Let’s break it down.

1. The Ego Can’t Handle It

For some men, being wrong isn’t just about the situation at hand—it’s a hit to their ego. Admitting a mistake feels like admitting they are the problem, rather than just something they did. Instead of just saying, “Yeah, I messed up,” they’d rather go into mental gymnastics mode, twisting the situation until somehow, miraculously, they’re the victim. Wow. Just wow. 😆

2. The "Alpha Male" Complex

Somewhere along the way, a lot of men were taught that taking responsibility is a sign of weakness. They believe real men should always be confident, always be in control, and never admit to screwing up. The irony? True confidence comes from owning up to mistakes and learning from them. But try telling that to someone who thinks growth is just for plants. 🌱

3. The Victim Mindset

Rather than taking accountability, some guys flip the script and play the victim. "Why are you always criticizing me?" "I can’t do anything right." "You never appreciate what I do." Suddenly, what should have been a simple conversation about their actions turns into you having to reassure them that they’re not a terrible person. It’s exhausting. 😤

4. Emotional Maturity Levels: TBD

Some men never learned how to handle criticism without shutting down or blowing up. If they weren’t raised in an environment where accountability was seen as a normal part of growth, then any form of critique feels like an attack. Instead of processing it, they either lash out or retreat into silence—neither of which help anyone.

5. The Art of Deflection

Rather than addressing the issue at hand, some men master the fine art of dodging responsibility. “Well, what about that one time you messed up?” or “I only did that because you made me.” Anything to shift the focus away from them and onto someone else. It’s not about solving the problem; it’s about escaping it.

6. Society’s Low Bar

Let’s be real—men have been praised for doing the absolute bare minimum for so long that even mild accountability can feel like an attack. “I said sorry, what more do you want?” Actual change, maybe? When society expects so little from them, being asked to do better feels like a personal insult.

Accountability isn’t the enemy. At the end of the day, accountability isn’t about tearing someone down—it’s about helping them grow. If someone truly cares about becoming a better person, they’ll listen, reflect, and make changes. If they see accountability as an attack? That says more about them than it does about you.

So if you’ve ever had to deal with a guy who acts like accountability is some cruel punishment, save your breath. People who want to grow, grow. The ones who don’t? That’s on them.

Sprinkle sprinkle.

Lately, I've found myself turning to astrology more than I'd like to admit. It started as something fun and lighthearted—reading my horoscope for a little daily insight, checking my birth chart to see if the stars aligned with how I was feeling. But slowly, it became more than that. Now, I find myself looking to astrology for validation, seeking answers to questions I don't even fully understand.

The problem is, the more I rely on it, the more cynical I become. It's almost like I'm waiting for the universe to give me a sign that everything will work out, but it never quite happens the way I expect. Every time something doesn’t align with the "predictions," it throws me off. I start overthinking everything—why isn't my chart matching my reality? What does this mean for my future? Is something wrong with me or my choices?

In some ways, it feels like I'm losing trust in myself. Instead of taking charge of my life, I'm handing over the responsibility to something abstract, like the alignment of the stars. And honestly, it can be exhausting. I spend too much time analyzing and trying to piece together meaning from the cosmos, when maybe I just need to live my life, make decisions, and be okay with the uncertainty.

Astrology has its place—it can be a comforting lens to view the world through. But I’m realizing that relying on it for constant validation only traps me in a cycle of doubt and overthinking. I need to remind myself that while the stars can offer guidance, they don’t have all the answers. At the end of the day, it's up to me to trust my own instincts and make peace with the fact that life won’t always fit neatly into an astrological chart.

Maybe, instead of looking up at the stars for clarity, I need to start looking within.

I miss going out. I miss wearing shoes and jeans. I’m tired of wearing house clothes 😂

The difficult part of working at home is when you lose internet connection for 3 straight days every two weeks. What excuse am I gonna give to my boss?

Hahahaha!

Some days, everything feels like it's spiraling out of control. Today was definitely one of those days for me. I woke up with a plan in mind, thinking I'd breeze through the day like it was nothing. But, of course, life had other ideas. From the moment I opened my eyes, it seemed like the universe was throwing little annoyances my way, one after the other.

It started with the usual hustle—trying to juggle a million things at once. And as much as I tried to stay calm, the small things kept piling up. The missed messages, miscommunications, and the feeling of being stretched too thin all hit me hard. It’s like I was running on a short fuse all day.

There were moments when I just wanted to scream into a pillow. Have you ever had one of those days where no matter what you do, it feels like everything and everyone is out to test your patience? Yeah, today was that kind of day for me.

I hate feeling this way, but I also know it’s part of the ebb and flow of life. Some days, we’re on top of the world. Other days, it feels like we’re drowning in frustration. The important thing is acknowledging it. It’s okay to be pissed off. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. What matters is what comes next.

For now, I’m taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and reminding myself that tomorrow is a new day. A chance to reset. A chance to do better. But for today? Yeah, I’m pissed—and that’s perfectly fine.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m living a life I don’t fully deserve. No matter how many achievements I rack up, or how many times people praise my work, there’s this persistent voice in my head whispering that it’s all a fluke. That I don’t belong here. That I’m fooling everyone.

Imposter syndrome is like an unwelcome guest that shows up in the quiet moments, casting doubt on everything I’ve accomplished. It tells me that my success is an accident, that eventually, someone is going to figure out I’m not as capable as I seem. I look at others who seem to move through life with ease, confident and self-assured, and wonder how they do it—how they walk around without the constant fear of being “found out.”

For me, every new challenge feels like a test I might not pass. Even when I’ve prepared, even when I know my stuff, there’s that nagging feeling that somehow, I’m not good enough. The worst part is how easy it is to downplay my own efforts. I’ll tell myself, “It wasn’t that hard,” or, “Anyone could’ve done that,” as if minimizing my work will shield me from the possibility of failure.

But that doesn’t make the fear go away. It just hides it beneath layers of self-doubt. Instead of celebrating my victories, I question them. Instead of owning my success, I attribute it to luck or timing, convinced that at any moment, everything could come crashing down.

The thing is, I know I’m not alone in this feeling. So many of us walk around with this invisible weight, afraid that one wrong step will expose us. But I also know that those feelings aren’t truth—they’re just fear disguised as fact. And though I struggle with it, I’m learning that I don’t have to listen to that voice. I can acknowledge it without letting it dictate how I live.

Because the truth is, I’ve worked hard for what I’ve achieved. I’ve earned my place, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. And just because I grapple with feelings of inadequacy doesn’t mean I am inadequate.

It’s a journey, learning to silence the imposter in my head, but I’m on the path. Every day, I remind myself that I’m not just faking it—I’m showing up, doing the work, and becoming the person I’m meant to be.