Why Some Men See Accountability As An Attack Instead Of Growth
Why Some Men See Accountability as an Attack Instead of Growth
Accountability. A simple concept, right? Own up to your actions, learn from mistakes, grow as a person. But for some men, being held accountable feels like an all-out assault on their very existence. The moment they hear, “Hey, that wasn’t cool,” they react like you just questioned their entire identity. So why does accountability send some guys into full-on defense mode instead of helping them grow? Hmm. Let’s break it down.
1. The Ego Can’t Handle It
For some men, being wrong isn’t just about the situation at hand—it’s a hit to their ego. Admitting a mistake feels like admitting they are the problem, rather than just something they did. Instead of just saying, “Yeah, I messed up,” they’d rather go into mental gymnastics mode, twisting the situation until somehow, miraculously, they’re the victim. Wow. Just wow. 😆
2. The "Alpha Male" Complex
Somewhere along the way, a lot of men were taught that taking responsibility is a sign of weakness. They believe real men should always be confident, always be in control, and never admit to screwing up. The irony? True confidence comes from owning up to mistakes and learning from them. But try telling that to someone who thinks growth is just for plants. 🌱
3. The Victim Mindset
Rather than taking accountability, some guys flip the script and play the victim. "Why are you always criticizing me?" "I can’t do anything right." "You never appreciate what I do." Suddenly, what should have been a simple conversation about their actions turns into you having to reassure them that they’re not a terrible person. It’s exhausting. 😤
4. Emotional Maturity Levels: TBD
Some men never learned how to handle criticism without shutting down or blowing up. If they weren’t raised in an environment where accountability was seen as a normal part of growth, then any form of critique feels like an attack. Instead of processing it, they either lash out or retreat into silence—neither of which help anyone.
5. The Art of Deflection
Rather than addressing the issue at hand, some men master the fine art of dodging responsibility. “Well, what about that one time you messed up?” or “I only did that because you made me.” Anything to shift the focus away from them and onto someone else. It’s not about solving the problem; it’s about escaping it.
6. Society’s Low Bar
Let’s be real—men have been praised for doing the absolute bare minimum for so long that even mild accountability can feel like an attack. “I said sorry, what more do you want?” Actual change, maybe? When society expects so little from them, being asked to do better feels like a personal insult.
Accountability isn’t the enemy. At the end of the day, accountability isn’t about tearing someone down—it’s about helping them grow. If someone truly cares about becoming a better person, they’ll listen, reflect, and make changes. If they see accountability as an attack? That says more about them than it does about you.
So if you’ve ever had to deal with a guy who acts like accountability is some cruel punishment, save your breath. People who want to grow, grow. The ones who don’t? That’s on them.
Sprinkle sprinkle.
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I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death; and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, Ellen, and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him.
—Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
I miss going out. I miss wearing shoes and jeans. I’m tired of wearing house clothes 😂
My mind won’t let me rest at night
Disconnect to Reconnect: Why social media detox is good for your mental health - A Personal Journey
In today's digital age, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives, offering us connectivity, entertainment, and a platform for self-expression. However, amidst the curated feeds and constant updates, there lies a hidden impact on our mental well-being that often goes unnoticed: the exacerbation of insecurities, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
The Allure and the Pitfalls
Social media presents an idealized version of reality, where filters and carefully crafted posts portray seemingly flawless lives. Scrolling through these feeds can unintentionally lead us down a path of comparison, triggering feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. We find ourselves unconsciously measuring our lives against highlight reels, forgetting that behind every perfect picture lies a story untold.
The Pressure to Conform
Platforms thrive on engagement, driving us to seek validation through likes, comments, and shares. This pursuit of approval can escalate into a cycle of seeking external validation, where our self-worth becomes intertwined with digital metrics. The fear of missing out (FOMO) further intensifies as we witness others seemingly living their best lives, fostering a sense of inadequacy if our own experiences don't measure up.
Impact on Mental Health
Research increasingly links heavy social media use to heightened levels of anxiety, depression, and diminished self-esteem. Constant exposure to filtered realities can distort our perception of normalcy, fostering unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. The pressure to maintain an online persona can lead to anxiety about image, performance, and social acceptance, detracting from genuine self-discovery and acceptance.
Rediscovering Authenticity and Self-Worth
Logging off social media offers a respite from the relentless noise of comparison and validation-seeking. It provides an opportunity to reconnect with our authentic selves, away from the pressures of digital expectations. By stepping back, we can recalibrate our perspectives, focusing on personal growth, real-life connections, and meaningful experiences that nurture genuine happiness and self-esteem.
Cultivating Healthy Digital Habits
Rather than abandoning social media entirely, cultivating mindful usage habits can promote a healthier relationship with digital platforms. Setting boundaries, such as limiting screen time, curating feeds that inspire rather than induce envy, and prioritizing offline activities can foster a balanced approach to social media consumption. Engaging intentionally and authentically can transform our digital interactions into sources of inspiration and connection, rather than triggers for insecurity and anxiety.
Embracing Self-Discovery and Growth
Ultimately, the journey towards combating insecurities, anxiety, and low self-esteem begins with self-awareness and self-compassion. It involves recognizing the influence of social media on our mental well-being and consciously choosing moments of digital detox to prioritize inner peace and self-discovery. By nurturing a positive self-image rooted in authenticity and resilience, we empower ourselves to navigate life's challenges with clarity, confidence, and genuine fulfillment.
In the quiet spaces between notifications and updates lies the opportunity to reclaim our sense of self-worth and embrace the beauty of our imperfect, yet extraordinary, lives. Logging off social media, even momentarily, can be the first step towards rediscovering the profound joy of being truly present in our own stories.
It was 2021, and I had just come out of a relationship with someone who was extremely possessive. It was like I could finally breathe again. For the first time in years, I felt free—free to hold my phone without constantly glancing over my shoulder, free to choose what I wanted to wear, free to spend time with friends, and attend parties without the weight of someone else’s control. It was empowering.
But that freedom didn’t come without its struggles. In the first few months of being on my own, I was hit with a wave of anxiety and uncertainty. I had been so used to someone else dictating my life that I didn’t know how to fully navigate it on my own. It was a strange feeling—after fighting so hard to get out of a relationship that stifled me, I found myself a little lost.
No longer having someone control me was a relief, but it also meant I had to adjust to taking responsibility for everything myself. The simple things I’d once been comfortable letting him handle were now on me. It was daunting, but I reminded myself that I’d fought for this freedom. I wasn’t going to let the discomfort pull me back into old habits.
One of the hardest parts was getting back online and socializing again. I had fallen off the radar for almost two years—no social media posts, no updates, nothing. So when I finally reappeared on Facebook, my friends were shocked. The first messages I received were along the lines of, "Wow, where have you been?!" They were right—two years is a long time to go dark.
Reconnecting wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I struggled to respond to messages and reach out to people. It was like I had forgotten how to socialize after being isolated for so long. I felt out of place, like I didn’t quite belong in the world I’d left behind. I wanted to rekindle friendships, but I was afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of the awkwardness, and afraid of not being the same person they used to know.
But little by little, I’m finding my way back. It hasn’t been smooth or easy, but I’m learning to embrace this new chapter of independence. Every day, I remind myself that this journey is mine to navigate, and no matter how slow the progress, I’m moving forward.
I honestly do not like peaches but I really have to eat them before they get spoiled
It's too powerful I just wanna die.
"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." - Leo Tolstoy
“It was not witches who burned. It was women. Women who were seen as Too beautiful, Too outspoken, Had too much water in the well (yes, seriously), Who had a birthmark, Women who were too skilled with herbal medicine, Too loud, Too quiet, Too much red in her hair, Women who had a strong nature connection, Women who danced, Women who sung, or anything else, really. ANY WOMAN WAS AT RISK BURNING IN THE SIXTEEN HUNDREDS Sisters testified and turned on each other when their babies were held under ice. Children were tortured to confess their experiences with “witches” by being fake executed in ovens. Women were held under water and if they float, they were guilty and executed. If they sunk and drowned they were innocent. Women were thrown off cliffs. Women were put in deep holes in the ground. The start of this madness was years of famine, war between religions and lots of fear. The churches said that witches, demons and the devil did exist and women were nothing but trouble. As we see even today, there is often a scapegoat created, and the chaos escalated in Sweden when the Bible became law and everything that did not line up with what the church said became lethal. The Bible fanaticism killed thousands of women. Everything connected to a women became feared, especially her sexuality. It became labeled as dark and dangerous and was the core of the witch trials through out the world. Why do I write this? Because I think the usage of words are important, especially when we are doing the work to pull these murky, repressed and forgotten about stories to the surface. Because knowing our history is important when we are building the new world. When we are doing the healing work of our lineages and as women. To give the women who were slaughtered a voice, to give them redress and a chance of peace. It was not witches who burned. It was women." ~ Fia Forsström, author
