No Thoughts, Head Empty, Only The Devil Judge Ost Playing In The Background

recently watched the devil judge (2021) for the first time and i truly can’t get enough of this guy. and also: his devil

i want this

the layer hotels // itō

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

beomseok is told and shown his entire life - by his bullies, by his abusive father, all the way back to the fact that he is adopted - that he is unworthy of respect, that he belongs beneath others, and that he deserves to be hurt for it. he’s trapped in a perceived reality of give-and-take relationships, hierarchical struggle between peers, and friendships built upon facing a “common enemy,” and his perspective on human interaction and “acceptable” violence is extremely skewed by what he’s had to live through.

it’s tragic. beomseok was not ready to be the kind of friend that sieun was to him and suho, and beomseok was not ready to be friends with suho - a person who viewed them all as equals even as he echoed words and wounds all too familiar to beomseok’s past. beomseok was fighting and flailing, trying to find his place in the hierarchical world he felt he was stuck in, trying to battle his way to earning respect; he was not ready to recognize the genuine care and sense of equality that sieun and suho provided outside of that worldview, because that was not the kind of world he had ever experienced, and because his worst fear was to be the outsider. in actuality, he needed to heal his wounds and grow his self esteem in ways that didn’t rely on external validation. but… well.

in another story, beomseok’s arc could have been taken as a broken kid standing up for himself, and things could go very differently. but within the context of this show - delving into the damaging spiral of the cycle of violence - beomseok is punished for using the violence that he’s faced his whole life as a tool for his self-determination. he’s rebelling against what his father and bullies have told him, which should be something empowering. and yet because he does it in the wrong way, it all falls apart. his defensiveness and his fear and his resentment take him way too far into violence that comes to extreme ends, and his inability to take accountability (because genuinely, who ever even tried to do so in his view, other than sieun?) only feeds into blame shifting and worse behavior.

and none of this excuses him, and it doesn’t take away the very harmful consequence of his mistakes (suho!!!! suho nooo!!!!!) — but it’s very, very human. beomseok made mistakes, and the narrative didn’t let him get away with them whatsoever. there is no happy ending in continued violence, and so there is no happy ending for beomseok in this either.

“we need more complex male characters in korean dramas!!” you couldn’t even handle him.

gaon as a character genuinely gets so little true agency of his own through the entire show, and it's something that he's clearly aware of and frustrated by. he's constantly presented with choices and ultimatums by those around him, his agency is continuously shot down and overruled by others, and despite how much he cares about each of them, every time it happens he ultimately demonstrates - intentionally or not - how much he hates that by immediately pushing back on whoever poses such limitation to him in the first place (re: soohyun telling him to stay back and let her handle digging into yohan's past -> gaon sneaking around yohan's house; min jungho pressing gaon to make his decision -> gaon siding with yohan; yohan telling him not to see soohyun if he wants to stay on his side -> gaon leaving the kangs).

in the end, all of those people are no longer actively in his life. he is alone and he must be independent, and it must make him feel so confllcted - that his having agency and free will is grounded in how those he cared for are unable to influence him anymore.

the only bright side of this is in kang yohan, who makes it clear through his actions in the end that he's consciously made the choice to give the agency back to gaon, to put the ball into his court. yohan chooses to take a step back, take his hands off, and let gaon choose what he does in rebuilding the system; he demonstrates his trust and faith that gaon will do it all well, teasing that he - a man "known" to be dead - will come back into the fray if gaon doesn't do a good job.

it must be so bittersweet to be kim gaon.

Kim Gaon as a character is so important to me.

This poor boy, whose parents committed suicide when he was so young, ends up being manipulated by almost everyone in his life who think they know what's best for him.

His mentor, who he saw as a father ends up manipulating him to further his own agendas and goals all while giving him the illusion of choice. Ga On has never truly had a choice.

And Soohyun too. Yes, she only ever wanted to keep him safe, and that is a nice sentiment, but in acting the way she did towards him she caged him in.

Maybe it's the Gemini in me, but if someone tries to limit my freedom of choice or influence my judgement in any way, I start to get suffocated. No matter what the sentiment behind their actions are. She didn't deserve the end she got, and she genuinely cared about Gaon but at the same time she ended up trying to influence him because she thought she knew what was best for him.

And then comes Yohan. Yohan is complicated (as morally grey characters tend to be), because for a good while in the beginning, he too tries to use (or at least wants to use) Gaon for his own ends.

But also, after he sees who Gaon truly is: a kind and caring and a firecracker of a soul, he is the first in Gaon's life to offer him a choice. And not the Min Jungho type of choice where it's just an illusion; but an actual choice.

And Gaon. Gaon only ever tried to do what he thought was right even while being pulled in a thousand different directions by different people. He tried so hard to make the right choices. He finally found the family he lost when he was young in Yohan and Elijah and Ms Ji. Lord knows I wouldn't survive if I found out that the fucker who drove my parents to suicide was living alive and well somewhere else with nothing on his conscience, and that I had been lied to for so long. And then, Soohyun, the last person who he has left from his past tied to his parents, his best friend, dies.

And then he loses his found family as well.

Kim Gaon, at the end of the show has absolutely no one left from his past; the Kangs, Soohyun, his parents and Min Jung ho are all gone.

All he has left is himself and a herculean task of rebuilding the justice system.

And how miserable must that be?

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

yohan is Designed to be a morally questionable character. and if the audience is thinking about the context that gaon is given going into his position on the live court show, it makes complete sense that he holds a constant baseline of skepticism for yohan’s morality. from the very beginning, even when unprompted by min jungho, he questions why kang yohan would do things the way he does. the answer he’s given is “politics,” and honestly, if you think about the politicians yohan is surrounded by, the tactics they use, and the willingness yohan consistently shows regarding going to extremes to achieve his ends, it’s no wonder gaon never gains complete trust for yohan. the two of them start off from a place where gaon inherently distrusts yohan. while we can infer that yohan wants gaon’s approval deep down, he doesn’t necessarily prove to gaon that he’s totally trustworthy, nor does he really try or succeed at convincing gaon that there are lines he will not cross, and exceptions where he won’t do the extreme but potentially useful thing for his own benefit.

in any case, gaon does not blindly trust yohan, and this is as much the foundation for the initial success of their relationship (with yohan feeling uncomfortably seen and understood through gaon challenging his words), as it builds up for its ultimate deterioration (gaon suspecting yohan of killing soohyun and accidentally helping in framing him for her death). it’s a very real and human point of conflict between two individuals who obviously care for each other very deeply, but are unsure if they are totally aligned in their morals, values, goals. if anything, it’s a testament to the depth of their frankly-toxic relationship: they want so much to be able to trust each other / be trusted by the other, but being unable to reach that, in the context of surrounding limitations, leads them to (extreme?) behavior that they really don’t exhibit anywhere else. gaon — who has not only heard from others, but also seen first hand, how manipulative yohan can be — is trying very hard to not let himself be fooled, and so he holds extra paranoia and disbelief towards yohan that ends up skewing his judgment. gaon’s not perfect, but he is truly trying his best — especially with the consideration that he’s had it drilled into him by his long-time mentor and father figure that, in this position, he’s got the world on his shoulders.

The reason some people tend to find Gaon's reactions annoying, is because we as the audience always have information that Gaon doesn't.

Granted, we don't always know everything, but even what little what we do know, Gaon does not. Gaon is practically fumbling around in the dark throughout the show.

And when Gaon tries to find out anything, Yohan immediately shuts him down , Soohyun practically babies Gaon and tells him to stay out of trouble and Min Jungho is just a piece of shit.

What are obviously right choices to us is confusing to Gaon because the poor guy does not have all or even a little bit of any information at any point. And if he does, then someone manipulates or emotionally blackmails him into doing what benefits them.

If you look at it from Gaon's perspective the whole show is practically a horror tragedy instead of a thriller (with maybe a few days of peace in between before shit hits the fan. Again.)

Whatever Matt Stone is doing with Kyle is the opposite of healing your inner child. Giving your inner child AIDS. Putting your inner child in a migrant detention camp. Sewing your inner child into a human centipede. Like whats going on with you man do you need to talk to someone