Curate, connect, and discover
gaon as a character genuinely gets so little true agency of his own through the entire show, and it's something that he's clearly aware of and frustrated by. he's constantly presented with choices and ultimatums by those around him, his agency is continuously shot down and overruled by others, and despite how much he cares about each of them, every time it happens he ultimately demonstrates - intentionally or not - how much he hates that by immediately pushing back on whoever poses such limitation to him in the first place (re: soohyun telling him to stay back and let her handle digging into yohan's past -> gaon sneaking around yohan's house; min jungho pressing gaon to make his decision -> gaon siding with yohan; yohan telling him not to see soohyun if he wants to stay on his side -> gaon leaving the kangs).
in the end, all of those people are no longer actively in his life. he is alone and he must be independent, and it must make him feel so confllcted - that his having agency and free will is grounded in how those he cared for are unable to influence him anymore.
the only bright side of this is in kang yohan, who makes it clear through his actions in the end that he's consciously made the choice to give the agency back to gaon, to put the ball into his court. yohan chooses to take a step back, take his hands off, and let gaon choose what he does in rebuilding the system; he demonstrates his trust and faith that gaon will do it all well, teasing that he - a man "known" to be dead - will come back into the fray if gaon doesn't do a good job.
it must be so bittersweet to be kim gaon.
Kim Gaon as a character is so important to me.
This poor boy, whose parents committed suicide when he was so young, ends up being manipulated by almost everyone in his life who think they know what's best for him.
His mentor, who he saw as a father ends up manipulating him to further his own agendas and goals all while giving him the illusion of choice. Ga On has never truly had a choice.
And Soohyun too. Yes, she only ever wanted to keep him safe, and that is a nice sentiment, but in acting the way she did towards him she caged him in.
Maybe it's the Gemini in me, but if someone tries to limit my freedom of choice or influence my judgement in any way, I start to get suffocated. No matter what the sentiment behind their actions are. She didn't deserve the end she got, and she genuinely cared about Gaon but at the same time she ended up trying to influence him because she thought she knew what was best for him.
And then comes Yohan. Yohan is complicated (as morally grey characters tend to be), because for a good while in the beginning, he too tries to use (or at least wants to use) Gaon for his own ends.
But also, after he sees who Gaon truly is: a kind and caring and a firecracker of a soul, he is the first in Gaon's life to offer him a choice. And not the Min Jungho type of choice where it's just an illusion; but an actual choice.
And Gaon. Gaon only ever tried to do what he thought was right even while being pulled in a thousand different directions by different people. He tried so hard to make the right choices. He finally found the family he lost when he was young in Yohan and Elijah and Ms Ji. Lord knows I wouldn't survive if I found out that the fucker who drove my parents to suicide was living alive and well somewhere else with nothing on his conscience, and that I had been lied to for so long. And then, Soohyun, the last person who he has left from his past tied to his parents, his best friend, dies.
And then he loses his found family as well.
Kim Gaon, at the end of the show has absolutely no one left from his past; the Kangs, Soohyun, his parents and Min Jung ho are all gone.
All he has left is himself and a herculean task of rebuilding the justice system.
And how miserable must that be?