Yo Han Trying To Flirt (it's Working)

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

toxic codependent familial dynamics this. toxic codependent romances that. what about toxic codependent coworkers. i can’t do my job without this guy here or i’ll kill myself.

i love sieun so much as a main character because he tries so hard not to be one.

in the beginning of the season, all he wanted was to sit quietly in the background, exist in peace, and yearn for suho without the world clawing at him. but he’s a gravitational force. he doesn’t seek the world, the world seeks him. the good, the bad, all of it. and even though he never seeks human connection, insists that he doesn’t need friends, he loves having them. he loves loving them.

he’s not loud about it, he doesn’t know how to be, but his loyalty is violent, bone-deep, unwavering. he’ll fight for his friends, kill for them, stand up to their dads without blinking. he’ll set himself on fire to keep them warm.

and the most tragic part? he could’ve stayed invisible. he could've stayed out of it all. the bad guys didn’t even want him, they wanted baku. but sieun’s heart won't let him walk away. his instinct to protect always wins. always. something he learnt from suho.

he shows up (all four feet of him); no real fighting skills, no actual strength, just this terrifying cocktail of rage, stubbornness, desperation, and whatever object he can get his hands on to stab someone with.

but beneath all of that, he’s just a kid. a scared, tired, broken kid. he flinched when seongje first cornered him in the bathroom. he cried when his friends told him it wasn’t his fault. he carries the kind of guilt that rots you from the inside out, and he’s still trying to make sense of it. still trying to believe he deserves good things.

he’s just a teenage boy who’s been handed too much pain too early and still, still, he chooses to love.

just here to confess that i am The overanalyzer. professionally. personally. academically. lovingly. in every way possible, even

BRAIN SNIPPET……

*shaking screaming* (hootering and hollering) (a WIP that might be expanded on??? i haven’t properly written in ages idk if i can execute the vision)

HELP. Me. they are making me unwell 👆

and another lil segment. a treat.

(tagging a few people who i hope may be interested to see my writing maybe perchance >_< 🤞: @clawbehavior @gayautisticraccoon @gaylilsherlock )

I really am a sucker for dual male lead media where they appear as complete opposites only to end up being eachothers foils and somehow also ending up being completely depended on eachother despite of (because of) their differences

The way that if you think hard enough about this, Gaon’s reaction to Yohan’s death could totally be interpreted as a parallel to how he perceives the deaths of his parents (one dies first and the other immediately follows)…

It is not like that with Suhyeon for him. It is, in fact, like that with Yohan though.

Can you please explain the part whereby Gaon said soohyun was his world, and how that doesn't mean he loves her despite the confession.?

Hey Anon!!

I poured out the bulk of my thoughts in this post here! But in essence, Soohyun to Gaon is as Isaac to Yohan (which Writer Moon Yoo Seok confirmed in this post). He definitely loved her; there's no denying that, but that love was very different from what he feels for Yohan. The latter was so all-encompassing and wild, and painful that after Cha Kyunghee's death, which itself harkens back to Gaon's parents' death, our man ran to what was familiar and soft and comfortable, all of which Soohyun represented to him.

He was swept up in a maelstrom of emotion: all the death, the Foundation nabbing people, Soohyun not wanting to talk to him. He was essentially adrift and he can't be faulted for latching onto the only anchor he's had since childhood. But even with those flashback scenes of them as children, what we see is Soohyun playing more of a caregiver role than anything else. She blows on his scrapes, he comforts him when he's sad. She might as well be his sister or his mother, because she truly is his Isaac.

On top of everything, Gaon was under the false belief that Soohyun rescued him from the thugs when it was really Yohan, all that gratitude, and his need for comfort, and the fact that she came back for him despite being angry with him, manifested in him confessing emotions that were long dead if he was being honest with himself.

But Gaon was too confused to be honest with himself and he just didn't want to think at that point. So he didn't.

But at the end of the day. Gaon brought a knife to avenge Soohyun and a bomb to avenge Yohan. Gaon tried to die for Yohan twice.

Gaon's reaction when Yohan was announced as dead is so so telling. While Sunah collapses, he's silent, frozen, then he leaves, because he knows he'll be joining Yohan in death.

And even when Yohan's alive, when Gaon no longer has reason to be guilty anymore, he still wants to die with Yohan because it's better than living without him. Soohyun might have had a pretty confession, and a wooden kiss (really wooden) but Yohan won in the end, because by word and deed, Kim Gaon vowed before all of Korea that he would die with his Chief.

Plus when he thought Yohan was gone for the second time, he went through Yohan's bedroom and reminisced about them ogling each other. That's gay. We love to see it!!

I forgot to say this last time. Baku, Gotak and I, we all know you visit your friend in the hospital and why he's there. But in my opinion it wasn’t your fault.

gaon choosing to return to yohan again and again even though he fundamentally disagrees with him while everyone is convinced (including the man himself) that yohan is just an unchangeable Monster is peak “i can fix him” but also it’s so painfully beautiful. a taste of true unconditional love for two men who probably only ever really felt loved as a condition to behaving for the people they cared for.

Monstrous Things will befall the writer for this

not to start problems on purpose but the scene where yohan throws gaon out of the room when he says he’d die with him in the explosion is SO!!!!! like knowing the ending it just adds so much to yohans reaction like HE knows he’s getting out of this alive and truly has no intention to kill himself but GAON doesn’t know that and still says ‘I am willing to die with you/for you’ like imagine yohans reaction to that in his head, not only realizing that gaon is actually that much in pain that he is actually willing to die, to kill himself, and that much devoted to him that he is willing to die WITH yohan. It makes him throwing him out all that much more meaningful, like he’s so determined to ensure he lives, telling him ‘you might not think your life is worth anything but it is you idiot and I won’t let you throw it away’ like he could’ve easily just told gaon that he was gonna get out of the explosion alive, but I feel like he wanted to ensure that gaon knew he wanted him to live, regardless of whether yohan was gonna survive or not. Anyway. Much To Think About. Sorry for bringing this up randomly lol just needed to vent it to someone

start all the problems on purpose, babe. be the yohan you need to be in your life!!!!!!! lmao

but i feel the same!!!!!!!!!!! that whole entire scene is just so gut-wrenching and full of emotions, especially when you realize that yohan is upset and tearing up just after he throws gaon out. he literally doesn’t want to but he’s doing it because gaon cannot die with him if he doesn’t actually live.

but with that said, also god i know…. yohan’s never really had anyone choose him, and this man comes to find him during a moment where it’s truthfully, a 50/50 shot whether yohan makes it out alive. gaon literally telling him i’m going with you, and yohan turns quickly but then schools his facial expression because obviously, he knows the plan, and he can’t say anything.

and i think that’s also why it’s another reason yohan kept it from gaon because if he’d told him and yohan actually died, then what, you know? imagine having that false hope that he’d make it out and yohan doesn’t keep that promise. plus, i’m pretty sure yohan was thinking of elijah in that moment, too, but gaon certainly wasn’t. yohan absolutely wanted gaon to live and to do it in a way that wasn’t interfered by yohan or the elite. yohan was clearing the stage whether he lived or died, and him being upset at gaon’s words just shows you how much he realized what gaon was promising.

as you said, it’s not gaon willing to die for yohan. he was willing to die WITH him, beside him, partners til the very end. and that is so damn profound.