Curate, connect, and discover
gaon choosing to return to yohan again and again even though he fundamentally disagrees with him while everyone is convinced (including the man himself) that yohan is just an unchangeable Monster is peak “i can fix him” but also it’s so painfully beautiful. a taste of true unconditional love for two men who probably only ever really felt loved as a condition to behaving for the people they cared for.
Monstrous Things will befall the writer for this
not to start problems on purpose but the scene where yohan throws gaon out of the room when he says he’d die with him in the explosion is SO!!!!! like knowing the ending it just adds so much to yohans reaction like HE knows he’s getting out of this alive and truly has no intention to kill himself but GAON doesn’t know that and still says ‘I am willing to die with you/for you’ like imagine yohans reaction to that in his head, not only realizing that gaon is actually that much in pain that he is actually willing to die, to kill himself, and that much devoted to him that he is willing to die WITH yohan. It makes him throwing him out all that much more meaningful, like he’s so determined to ensure he lives, telling him ‘you might not think your life is worth anything but it is you idiot and I won’t let you throw it away’ like he could’ve easily just told gaon that he was gonna get out of the explosion alive, but I feel like he wanted to ensure that gaon knew he wanted him to live, regardless of whether yohan was gonna survive or not. Anyway. Much To Think About. Sorry for bringing this up randomly lol just needed to vent it to someone
start all the problems on purpose, babe. be the yohan you need to be in your life!!!!!!! lmao
but i feel the same!!!!!!!!!!! that whole entire scene is just so gut-wrenching and full of emotions, especially when you realize that yohan is upset and tearing up just after he throws gaon out. he literally doesn’t want to but he’s doing it because gaon cannot die with him if he doesn’t actually live.
but with that said, also god i know…. yohan’s never really had anyone choose him, and this man comes to find him during a moment where it’s truthfully, a 50/50 shot whether yohan makes it out alive. gaon literally telling him i’m going with you, and yohan turns quickly but then schools his facial expression because obviously, he knows the plan, and he can’t say anything.
and i think that’s also why it’s another reason yohan kept it from gaon because if he’d told him and yohan actually died, then what, you know? imagine having that false hope that he’d make it out and yohan doesn’t keep that promise. plus, i’m pretty sure yohan was thinking of elijah in that moment, too, but gaon certainly wasn’t. yohan absolutely wanted gaon to live and to do it in a way that wasn’t interfered by yohan or the elite. yohan was clearing the stage whether he lived or died, and him being upset at gaon’s words just shows you how much he realized what gaon was promising.
as you said, it’s not gaon willing to die for yohan. he was willing to die WITH him, beside him, partners til the very end. and that is so damn profound.