Front Page: Professor Regukus Black is the fist professor who has been hired for a second year in the Defense against the Dark Arts position and everyone wants to know how he's done it. We have asked the man himself and this was his qoute: " The position was said to be curse so I hired a professional. We literally have a entire career path dedicated to breaking curse. It wasn't even that hard to find a solution, you people are just dumb." He made our reporter cry.
JAHSJSHA
voldemort:
best unloved characters from the harry potter universe: those bulgarians who tricked fudge into thinking they couldnt speak english for months
Slytherin won but Sirius would never let it pass the opportunity to embarrass and be proud of his little brother
AND SINCE JK ROWLING TURNED OUT A BITCH SHE CAN EAT MY ASS!!! I’m ignoring any canon content & that involves Sirius and Regulus were close good bros
it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters
basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact
(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)
harry decides upon 3 goals:
fuck up as much shit as possible
make a shitload of money
save some lives or whatever
it is
H I L A R I O U S
his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?
he has a psychic scar
(hermione is SO PISSED about this)
(neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)
everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this
harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year
“snape is my sole ally”
he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great
even draco is a friend!
(kind of)
(when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)
harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”
either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”
because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn
(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)
it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it
and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”
in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic
harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard
harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.
cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.
the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring
he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort
everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”
(though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.
snape is so angry
it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off
here’s the link
thank me later
saitama is frankly such a millennial icon. like. the apathetic way he acts about most things. the fact that he just wants to find a decent job so he can pay for his basic needs. how he runs from commitment. how he let a near stranger move into his house only because he promised to pay the rent. just. what an icon.
After Sirius is badly hurt by Walburga, Regulus takes him to the Potters, where Euphemia takes him under her wing until Sirius is awake and healed. They have days baking and playing piano, James, Fleamont are all huge quidditch and have days spend on their brooms. When Sirius wakes up he realises Regulus has fit in perfectly with his found family, and the potters don’t plan on letting the two Black brothers go..
<33 regulus and euphemia mother son bond supremacy
Regulus knows how to use a long sword and when asked why he always answers "Uncle Alphard used to tell me I would be beating back suitors with a stick. But a stick isn't very effective so I learn how to use a blade instead. I am prepared for those harlots"
listen. regulus with dual swords
R.A.B.
Yeah, I'm back with another one black&white art. Regulus is such a good charaster, we really need more fanart of him, don't we?
(Also you can find some of my thoughts and headcanons in insta stories, if you wanna to)
… I lie, I want it, just, please, just–
- Two heroes loose on the hospital SERIES -
Sirius, pacing around the room: I just don't know what to do, Reg!
Sirius: Everytime I see him, my heart hurts and flutters.
Regulus: I'm sure that's a sign of premature death.