The Character I'm Currently Playing In LANCER Does This With Her Mech, And Actually Met The Party Because

diary of a tgirl orc mercenary, entry #156:

“dear diary: i stepped in a fairy circle and am now trapped in the fae realm. Thought i was totally screwed but I met a (seemingly) friendly fairy who is helping me find my way. No one has stolen my name as i do not actually have one. Not sure if that will be an issue later. Only real problem is that this fairy keeps hitting on me by calling me ‘the best of both worlds’ and i can’t tell if she means it in a chaser way or a fae realm way.”

If Tumblr shuts down, we should all move to github. We can make github pages and fork each others' repos as an alternative to reblogging.

Oh woah hey there 🐱 I think that was a funny little accident just now. 🐱 You see I was just licking this plate of food left on the counter and you 🐱 pushed my face right out of the way. I think you just did not notice 🐱 my face was there so no worries, I’ll just go back to 🐱 OH you’ve pushed my face away again? Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass 🐱 you but I am in the middle of something here so I will simply just 🐱 You have pushed my face away again?????? 🐱🐱🐱

mech pilot who got separated from their mecha when their civilisation was domestication and their military got dissolved. despite all attempts to help them, they still have persistent phantom sensation from the limbs that they used to have but no longer do; constantly missing the feeling of a rifle in hands that don't feel the right size, feeling blind and deaf without all of the enhanced feedback from sensors capable of a hundred times greater acuity than their own body

eventually, however, one particular affini reads their medical file and comes up with an idea. she files a notice of intent on the pilot, then swiftly heads over to their hab and whisks them away the next morning. they don't even bother resisting; having long since given up hope that things will get better, and unable to imagine any way they could get worse

the affini takes them home and lays them down on a surgery table, promising them that soon, everything is going to feel right again. they expect nothing, presuming her to be lying to them, but they feel a great weight behind their eyes, and a moment later, they fall closed.

it feels like they've only blinked, but when they reopen them, everything is different. every sense that was missing is suddenly there again. they look down at their arms to find them just the right size; their body no longer one of flesh, but of gleaming white metal plates, pulsating with thin green lines of a material they don't recognise. it takes them a moment to realise what it is: under their metal skin are muscles and tendons made out of vines, their former optical sensors replaced with sight blossoms, and their rifle woven back together from a mixture of bark, chambered with rounds made of amber

most of all, they are no longer alone. they could feel their mech before, but it's different this time; as if the sensation surrounding them isn't quite their own, but a body that is both theirs and not. a faint, slow pulsing that shifts in time with every movement, guiding them to know exactly where to look, and what to do. moments later, they hear a voice whispering- not into their ear, but directly into their mind, just like their onboard AI used to:

"Good morning, my precious little Pilot."

The opposite of “manic pixie dream girl” is “depressed goblin nightmare man,” and, judging by this site, it’s just as attractive to some.

what the fuck are these donations man

Diversity win! The horniest person you know is on the asexual spectrum