Drowning In You

Mino

“Relationship”. I’m not sure about the meaning of this drawing because as I said, I’m trying hard to don’t overthink things. And the text in background is a gossip that goes around Martra:

“Did you hear the rumor? They say Maivtre has a lover, and Odabrani knows it! Why he doesn't act? Why he doesn't complain? He can be angry. Maivtre is being unfaithful and with her knight! Is that Lewie shameless?! They were siblings (close friends); nobody expected them to have this (love) relationship! And how did Maivtre lose at this sin? In all times, Maivtre and Odabrani were the perfect relationship (couple). How does she dare to destroy this reputation?”

Yet another backstory!

AO3 / Wattpad

9 Y - 0 M - 4 D

“I want that squirrel.” Ethan pointed at the tree that was triple his height.

His mother took off her sunglasses, searched for the animal between the leaves, and analyzed her little boy.

“You’ll get your clothes dirty.”

“I can wash them later.”

She saw the squirrel far away, really far away, holding a nut and moving its nose. Such an ugly creature…

“Do you want to eat that?”

“It’s not for eating! It is to be my pet!”

“Pet?” She frowned and leaned on. “Is there a special reason for this?”

“Because Tony is small, and it will be cool to chase him there!” Ethan put his hands together. “Please, mum, can I have it?!”

She looked up and down at his new outfit: polo shirt, shorts over his knees, led shoes, and, lastly, his puppy face.

Fragile. And extremely cute.

She sighed. “Yes, you can, but go slowly so you don’t fall.”

“Alright, mum! I love you!” said him, already running at the tree.

He arrived at the base and checked if he was in the same direction as Tony. The squirrel didn’t move at all, so it would be easy to catch him!

Hugging the tree, Ethan put a foot on a bump, and pushed his body up. He gripped the next branch, tested if it held his weight, then pushed up again.

He kept doing it, slowly as his mother told him to, until the largest branches finally arrived. It was the hardest part: to get over there; but Ethan could see Tony just at the edge, and he wouldn’t stop now that he was this close.

Placing his hands in minor areas, he managed to get his torso over. To get his legs up as well, he just had to drag himself on the branch and… ta-dah! He was safely sat!

The squirrel was still with its nut, trying to open it with big teeth. It made Ethan smirk. Tony was kinda similar to Sam in appearance; would they like to meet each other? Ethan was certain they would, so he should hurry.

He moved subtly to not scare Tony, just like his mum did in other times. It would probably work with him, too, if he did the exact same thing.

“Hi, Tony,” he whispered. “Do you wanna go to my house? There’s a lot of food there.”

He showed his hand to the squirrel, who stared for a long time before approaching. His tiny paws let go of the nut and touched Ethan’s hand, as if searching for something.

“Hey, this tickles!” Ethan giggled and squirmed as Tony traveled his arm and shoulders, stopping over his head. “What are you doing there? Is it comfortable?”

Ethan could feel the squirrel pulling his hair, then going still as if he found the perfect spot. After realizing he was ready, the boy put the nut in his pocket.

“Now, we just gotta get down and…” He froze.

When did he get that high?

His body tensed as he looked down for the first time. No way he could jump from this height; he’d turn into a pancake! What could he do?! What could he do?!

He hugged the branch, looking for his mother who was just a minuscule red point on the green.

“Mum!” he called, but she didn’t move. “MOMMYYYY!”

Tony squeaked and left in a rush, jumping on Ethan’s legs and causing more screams.

“NO, TONY! DON’T RUN!” Ethan wanted to catch the squirrel, but his body was locked. “COME BACK, PLEASE!”

Yet the squirrel disappeared in the leaves, totally forgetting about the promises of food and new home. Ughhh, what a traitor!

Ethan looked down again and his heart sank.

His mother wasn’t on the bench anymore. Where did she go?! Did she leave him stuck there?! How could s—

“Ethan, is everything okay?!” Her voice came from below, returning his soul to his body. “Did you get the squirrel?!”

“HE LEFT!” Ethan carefully looked down, but regretted it immediately. Spirits, what a nauseating place to be in… “I’M STUCK, MOMMY! HELP!”

“You climbed up; you figure out how to get down!”

His eyes darted at the horrific distance between him and the ground, and, nuh-uh. Nope. Sov.

“MUM, IT’S TOO HIGH! I LOVE MY LIFE! I WON’T DO IT!”

She chuckled softly. “It’s not hard, son! Just put your feet in the same place you put before, and climb down!”

“BUT I WILL FALL AND DIE!”

“You won’t, I promise you!”

“MUMMMMMMMM!” He shut his eyes and gripped the tree like a koala. “I’M NOT GOING DOWN!”

“And I’m not going to get you!” She sat beside the tree. “If you’re staying there, we can pass the night here. I don’t mind!”

Ethan couldn’t believe it. Was it for real? She really wasn’t coming to save him?? Even if he’s clearly in danger?! She doesn’t mind if he dies?!

…no, she must be kidding. She was letting Ethan stay for longer because he broke her bracelet. She said it was fine, but maybe she secretly got angry at him, and now was taking advantage of his situation. That must be it. He just gotta wait until she pities him.

Yeah, she was going to get him soon.

Soon.

At any moment.

At any second.

When she feels like it.

Before it was night.

She would do it.

However, time passed, Ethan didn’t move an inch, and his belly was getting wild. The only thing he had all afternoon was an ice cream, and now his stomach was trying to eat him inside out.

Meanwhile, his mum was there, laid down and resting peacefully on the grass.

“Mummyyyyyy… I’m hungry!”

“Me too.” She didn’t even open her eyes. “A shame you let that squirrel escape.”

“Tony wasn’t food! He was my pet!”

“As you say, dear.”

And she kept silent, not uttering a single word about saving him. The crickets and owls were talking more than her, at this point!

His lips trembled when he talked again. 

“Mum, will you really leave me alone here forever?!”

“Of course no, am I not here?” She smiled. “I won’t leave you alone, Ethan; I am letting you learn something useful.”

“But it’s past the time of learning anything! It’s time for dinner, then fairytale, then bedtime!” 

“I know, it will be such a hassle to fix it when we get home, so can you climb down quickly?”

The boy stared at his mum, measuring once more how hard he could fall. Maybe it wasn’t that far, but…

“It’s dark, I can’t see.”

“Ethan…” She huffed and got up, resting her hand on her hip. “We both know you can see clearly—the moon is full, and your vision is better than mine—, so stop procrastinating and get down!”

Ethan breathed in deeply, gazing from his mum to the tree trunk. He could see everything, as she said, but could he do it?…

“Sweet, hear me,” she continued. “It’s not hard. Drag yourself to the trunk, hold it, then put your foot on the nearest branch. After being sure it won’t fall, repeat the steps until you get here. It’s the same as going up, but in the inverse order. Easy, right?”

“Easy, saying! It’s not you here, mum…” he grumbled and swallowed dry.

However, he knew he had no other way to leave. It was climb down or climb down, so he stretched his hands forward. Slowly, focused and shaking, he moved on the branch towards his goal. 

Without looking down, he got at the trunk and squeezed it with his arms. His heart was about to break his rib cage, but he continued the process: a foot down, blindly looking for a new support, then descending over it.

Sometimes Ethan would misstep on a lump and feel his blood vanishing, but then he’d find a way to stabilize himself, say thanks to the stars, and keep the journey down.

It wasn’t easy at all; it was hard, terrible. He felt like he’d fall at each action, hurt himself while falling, hit the ground, go to the hospital, have a head surgery, then die, leaving his mum crying for him the rest of her life.

And this was exactly what happened.

Disturbed by his own thoughts, he glanced down for a second. A millisecond. A tenth of a millisecond. And that was when gravity pulled him down with all its might.

It was fast. Too fast! Ethan screamed and reached for something to hold, but he only held onto leaves who folded with him. He couldn’t seem to stop! He was going to hit the ground! He was going to die!

“ETHAN!”

He shut his eyes, prepared for the inevitable, for the impact, and—

He rolled like a barrel, in a tight space, muffled noises, and aching body. When he stopped spinning, his brain didn’t. It kept sick, feeling suffocated. His lungs were heavy, and it just was tight. Everything was unbelievably tight.

The voice was what made him realize the cause of that problem.

“Thunder! Begone evil!” His mother cursed behind him, still pressing him against her chest. “Do you want to give me a heart attack, Ethan?!”

He couldn’t tell apart her heartbeats from his, but he knew they both weren’t fine. She was shaking. Or was it him? They were too close. Her arms were entangled around his body and he could feel her uneven breath on his hair.

Ah…

Safe. He was safe. He didn’t die. His mum saved him. She got him before he hit the ground. She saved him.

He held weakly to her hands, and the tears came at once. 

“Ethan…” she called and turned him over. “Ethan? Are you hurt somewhere? Did you hit anything??”

He shook his head, but she checked him whole as he didn’t stop to cry. He couldn’t, and he didn’t understand why. Instead, he jumped into her arms again, hugging her neck and weeping louder.

“Son?…” muttered her.

She didn’t push him away, nor told him to be quiet, nor mocked his ugly face.

She just held him back, pulled him closer, and mumbled softly:

“I am here, Ethan. I am here.”

CW: abuse, gore?, description of burning death

AO3

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Sunburn

“Ah… I wish you had found your new friend.” Sylris smiled and placed his crown on a pillow. “The imaginary intruder should be on the stacks too, don’t you think so? They were very disrespectful at us, my dear.”

Kenyan didn’t bother to answer, as she was busy trying to take off her rings, what at the moment seemed like an impossible task. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking and her body was burning inside out.

Burning almost as much as she had burned those people.

The difference between them and her was in their innocence. They were people who begged for food. People who ran from a slavish job. People who fought to protect their family. People who denounced an injustice.

And she was a murder wearing a lavish long gown. Pampered by all, adorned with jewelry; an elegant example of holiness and grace to Martra.

Her nail bent over and she hissed. Blood was simmering from there, dripping down on the white skirt, and all she could do was stare at it. Stare at the red blur, at least, as her trembling wouldn’t let her focus on anything.

It was deeply awful. Herself, she meant. She was awful. She should be dead with them. Or better saying, they should be alive, and she should suffer the worst death in this world. That was all she deserved.

“Hurting yourself already?”

Sylris came from behind when she noticed his hand holding hers. His other hand had fell on her waist, keeping her close to him on this embrace.

“You know this won’t change anything, right?” he whispered against her pointy ear. “Hurt yourself or no, they’re still dead. Unmoving, unchangeable, permanent: that’s what death is. That’s what you did, my love.” He took her hand to his lips, and kissed her fingers, one by one.

His voice was nauseating. His words made her skin crawl. His kisses were poison. And his hands? Treacherous, horrendous hands? Always knew where to touch, where to press, where to hold.

He had slid his arm around her belly, and her body faltered slightly over his. She shivered as her unsteady heart went out of control.

What kind of personal betrayal was it? How could her body lean upon the evil she despised the most? How could she feel anything other than hatred for this nasty creature?

But perhaps a monster called for a monster. Her other half would be like her half.

It was only fair.

Even so, she’d rather be alone forever than staying with him.

“Let me go, I’m tired,” she muttered. “I need to rest in my chambers.”

“Why not in mine? You’re shaking so much; it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to hold you, would it, love?” He turned her over, keeping them face to face. “Or are you thinking about staying with your pet at this time of night?” He smirked.

“He’s not my pet,” came the automatic answer. However, her throat tightened at the thought.

After their discussion, Hiélo came to say sorry a thousand times. His ears were flat, his tail dull, and hearing his voice cracking gnawed at her conscience; which led her to accept his apologies. But, honestly? She didn’t want to. For some reason, she only wanted to be mad at him a little longer. She only wanted to have time to organize her feelings and find a proper reason to forgive him.

But since when did she have a choice? How could she be mad at the person who was trying to love her despite her actions?

She swallowed dry. “Hiélo won’t be there, I promise. I won’t call him.” She slowly took his hands off her. “I want to rest alone; is there a problem with it?”

His eyes scrutinized her wholly. It felt like being under a predator gaze, waiting to be devoured at each minute, counting the last seconds of her life— but then he let go of her waist.

“No, there is not. You can go ahead.” His hand lifted her chin softly. “Ask a maid to help you with the rings, okay? I don’t want to see my wife fingerless.” He chuckled and his face approached hers.

The knot on her stomach increased as she knew what was happening. Knowing didn’t make it the slightest better, so she shut her eyes and counted to five for what seemed an eternity. A hot, burning eternity. Hell itself.

Curse her head for getting lighter.

When he broke the kiss with that grin of his, she didn’t stay a second to hear him. Nothing good could come of that mouth, and she kept repeating it for herself as she stormed on the empty halls.

The heat was unbearably clinging to her, suffocating her lungs and expeling the oxygen left on her. And the tricky part of it? She could stop it, if she wanted. Her spiky halo was lightening the environment, and it was the blatant proof that her powers were acting over something, over herself. Warming, heating, burning until her head was spinning, until her gut was churning, until her skin began swelling.

And they had it worse. They didn’t have time to dwell in a little dizziness.

It was pure torture. Flesh tearing apart, splitting, and shearing from the bones; fire crackling and screams breaking through the space; the stench of coal and smoke flying in the sky… until there was nothing left to see—not even their ashes.

That was the power she held. That was the sin she carried.

Her insides unraveled midway her room, throwing up the contents of her stomach on a corner. She gagged and cried as her body fell its temperature, taking advantage of the unease to finally turn her furnace off.

Really, how could someone live like this? How could someone like her still be alive? Just who allowed her existence in this world?!

She should be dead. She should be dead. She. Should. Be. Dead.

But as she wasn’t, she raised from her place and stumbled forward.

i think it is a very powerful thing when the story inside you is so loud that you are forced to relearn how to draw, write, and talk to people to get it made into a real thing

Behínji Sume Sohiel

Ad Xinie Maivtre — Ad Auvana Odabrani — Ad Mizae Iskatram

Translated, it means “Blessed be Sohiel. The Pure Maivtre, The Wise Odabrani, The Loving Iskatram.”

As I said some posts ago, Sohiel is the holy family of Martra. They are both religious figures and royalty as well. It’s something determined many ages ago, a culture deeply enrooted in the citizens.

The current lineage is Kenyan as Maivtre and Sylris as Odabrani; they're married.

Sylris is so handsome, gosh. Look at those lashes and hands.

Here, thinking about Kenyan’s state in the main story.

I need to decide if she’ll be still fighting or if she gave up already, cuz it’ll change A LOT of the story.

If she’s fighting:

She has no idea Ethan is in Martra.

Ethan will see her for the first time in an execution and she’ll look away

She’ll fight Sylris to know wth Ethan is doing there

She won’t know how to react if Ethan tries to talk to her personally

She won’t tell him the whole truth, afraid of burdening him with the problems she has been protecting him from.

Ethan will get mad at her, but will notice something is wrong

Hiélo will be there to explain things to Ethan

Ethan will try to save his mum, etc etc etc… next things are too much spoiler

Now, if she gave up:

She’ll ask Sylris to bring Ethan to Martra, so they can stay in family

She probably won’t be holding executions now that she knows he’s somewhere in Martra ☠️

She’ll look for him hard, and Behati will think Ethan is some kind of wanted criminal

Ethan is taken to the castle and “WOAH, MUM?!” and Kenyan will cry hard while hugging him

Sylris will be the utmost example of a great father, trust him

Kenyan will try to explain everything, but telling a filtered story where things don’t sound as bad as it was

Kenyan and Sylris will fight about whether revealing him as their son or not (Maivtre shouldn’t have a male child)

Sylris finds a way to make it valid and kinda forces Ethan to accept it

Ethan feels overwhelmed, etc etc etc… I don’t know what would happen next lmao

The first idea is in my mind since some time, but the second might be good too cuz it might confuse Ethan more. “What? My mum left me just to stay with my father?! And the reason she didn’t take me with her was ‘because it was too far away and in a strange/dangerous world’????”

THE POOR GUY JUST KNOWS SUFFERING

Roar

I saw three drawings in Pinterest and it inspired me to make it 🤙🏽

And I decided to draw a panther cuz they’re elegant in a scary way, such as Kenyan.

I love Kenyan’s gaze. I love Kenyan’s hair. I love Kenyan’s mood. I love Kenyan. In this place we stan Kenyan, with or without her mistakes.

Sharing is Caring

Wow, they slay with Royal outfits 😩❤️ I was drawing Kenyan in the first pic and stopping to admire her beauty— she got me giggling like an idiot 🫣 but drawing clothes is so hard… I gave up on shading it.

Kenyan’s white clothes are to represent her purity as a goddess and honesty as a queen (or so it should be), and Sylris’s brown/yellow clothes are to represent the bond he is between Martra and Maivtre(Kenyan).

Kenyan doesn’t like having people touching her neck, so she puts the necklace herself. And she thought it was a servant who stole her rings (“pebble” is a bad word to call a Dawie, cuz it means they’re a insignificant and useless person) (if you don’t know, Dawies are made of stone and gems).

And Sylris is there, living the best life with the shiny stuff he “borrows” from his wife ✨

OMG IT’S NOT BAD, HE LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖

Keep knowing there’s no such a thing like “bad” or “good” drawing; each of them have their special trait and I love they all, including yours!!!!!! I know it feels cliche or something, but I’m really not lying; I love your style. DON’T feel pressured to make a collage, so you don’t get burn out! (Take care of yourself too)

Thank you very much for drawing my Ethan 😭🙏🏽💖

I love it a lot. Really. I’m almost dying of excitement.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

He’d really start crying.

Art Trade

There we go, @rainydayzxd ! He still doesn’t have name, but I loved his style! (Go help Rainy decide a name for him)

I hope you like it!

Was Kenyan a Bad Mum?

I was thinking about Ethan’s childhood and how chaotic it was. He was spoiled, could do almost everything he wanted, he had everything he asked, he questioned every concept, he was a smart ass at school…

And you ask, “why”? Because Kenyan taught him to be like this, of course. Her idea of motherhood was different from the normal; she raised Ethan as a person, not just a kid. This is why she afforded his desires, wishes, and demands—because she wanted him to live at max capacity while he didn’t have responsibilities and huge consequences to care about.

Then you think, “wow, this is wrong. This kid will grow to be a spoiled adult, thinking life works exactly as he wants; then when things go bad, he will get mad and won’t know how to fix it.”

But if we look through Kenyan’s POV, we can understand why she’d think this is okay.

Let’s check her life stage:

As you can see, Auvies take their time to do things in life; maturity and independence comes around at 40 years old. At the age she got pregnant, she was supposed to start thinking about her future and what she wanted to try (in studies and work). She was a princess, so it was half decided, but she still would need to think about what kind of authority she’d be in the future.

But then she skipped (not by her choice) 100 years of her life, had to run away (she was a sacred figure, pregnancy out of marriage wouldn’t sound good…), started a life from scratch in a strange place, had no support, and all of it with a hyperactive kid. It’s clear she wouldn’t know how to raise a child in this situation.

And her maturity wasn’t that different of a child, so she was deeply empathetic of Ethan. If he asked for something, she’d give it to him because she thought “I also wanted to have things when I was a kid, so it's only fair I give it to him”, or even “he will just have me, so I should be a thousand times better than a normal mother, and to be a better mother, I should do this and that”.

There's also her culture.

Until 12 years old, Auvies have all the right to be curious and innocent, exploring the world and not dealing with consequences. The parents should allow it, only being careful about really dangerous actions; in this case, the parents should be present to instruct, but they still couldn’t forbid the kid from doing what they want.

Ethan was at this stage, so Kenyan just followed what she knew. But, for being on Earth and hearing advice all the time about how to raise him, she started allowing consequences on Ethan’s life, so he’d know what to do and what to avoid. (Example: he can climb the tree, but if he gets afraid of heights or gets stuck, Kenyan wouldn’t save him—she’d teach him how to get down. At the end, he would know it’s not a good idea to climb again because it’s scary, but if he ever need to climb down again, he wouldn’t be powerless)

So, we can conclude that Kenyan did a great job at raising Ethan! She could have done better? Probably. But she did what she could as a solo-teen-Auvie mother raising a child.

Unfortunately, we won’t know how she would raise a teen.

She didn’t stay long enough.