SLAMS IT EVEN HARDER!!!

Me: Oh... WAIT WHAT DID I FUCKING NEED SAVING FROM?!?!?!

#217

"Get away from me, alien! I won't let you probe me!" Human screamed.

"Relax! We aren't going to hurt you," Alien one says. They look over to their friend for help.

Alien two shurgs. "I told you this would happen if you saved them."

Bro I saw this on pinterest a while back and the gifs I see on tumblr make this SO much better! It makes it a lil' sillies

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

What color flowers would you like at your memorial service???

birthay

Me behind you: Do your tasks or else I'm having fish for dinner.

guys I've been assigned two tasks at once ,please pray for me

Something that ACTUALLY happened at school Me: No ya idiot! Feminism doesn't mean you hate women!! This kid I'll call by his nickname "Tolo" Tolo: I'm not a feminist, I love women! I'm a misogynist! *raises his fist* Me: *noises of anger*

You fucking know I'm reblogging! I WILL THROW A SHOE FOR YOU ACES!!! I WILL HIT SOMEONE WITH A HIGH HEEL FOR YOU!!!

Reblog this if you support sex-averse and sex-repulsed aces, including:

Aces who never want to have sex

Aces who had sex in the past but don't desire it anymore

Aces with sexual trauma who feel like their trauma ties into their asexuality

Aces with sexual trauma who don't feel like their trauma caused their asexuality

Aces who don't want to talk to you about sex

Aces who don't want to hear about sex

Yes even aces who do not want to engage with any sexual content and don't want it in their own personal spaces

Yes even aces who express the desire to have more spaces for queer adults where their boundaries are met (on top of the queer spaces that exist, we do not want to sanitize your existing spaces ffs)

If you cannot be normal about these people existing, if you believe they're a threat to our community and to how we're viewed by people who aren't aspec and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, you are not an asexual ally. Yes, even if you're aspec yourself. Especially if you're aspec yourself.

Because it's been pride month for 4 days and I'm already seeing people trying to throw us under the bus or pretend we don't exist because that makes the ace community more palatable to exclusionists and people who swallowed too much "aces are puritans" propaganda.

Damn, I really am the last one in the loop. And no the pun wasn't intended but I'm keeping it

Apparently, you are living in a time loop. Also apparently, you are the only person on Earth who DOESN'T remember the previous iterations. This is the first time you've experienced today; the rest of humanity has been stuck reliving today for years now.

I love this way too much! LONG LIVE TUMBLR BEING UNHINGED!!

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

BITCH I'M TOUCHING

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

"You gotta train the damn thing! I've learned that werewolves are like dogs. I just hope this one isn't a chihuahua...."

“Noble monster hunter! Thank goodness you’re here! We’ve had to sacrifice a villager to this werewolf each month to keep it at bay!” “That is quite possibly the worst course of action your village could take.”