I Like Really..... REALLY Want To Have Like A Siren For Bi Flags!!! CAN THAT HAPPEN PLEASE???

Save money by using me as a therapist since I'm a therapist friend!

finances are really stressing me out, I really need therapy

therapy is really expensive, I should save my money

finances are really stressing me out, I need therapy

therapy is really expensive, I should save my money

He framed you for his crime

Tommy neglected to inform me about the body

Well it takes a human to kill a human! Let's just hope we know enough facts to scare the Emperor off his throne!!!

You have been Isekai-ed! Isn't that great? Except when you look around you, you see those who summoned you are horrified. Apparently they are the "subhuman" resistance group of Elves, Dwarves, and Beastkins who tried to summon a hero from another world to defeat the evil tyrant human Emperor.

Me: .... I got a demon in my house..... WAIT! I don't have a roomba! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

You got a rug designed to look like an Ouija board as a gift. Liking it, you placed it in your living room. Now your roomba’s summoned a demon and it can’t leave until the roomba asks for something.

Genderbent!Me:.... HOW?! WHERE?! WHY?????

“Look daddy I found one!” You told your daughter to go look for a unicorn to keep her busy while you set up the tent, you didn’t expect her to succeed.

"No duh! I'm Deadpool"

-Deadpool prob- "HEY PERSON WRITING THIS! I CAN SEE YOU! NICE TOP!" DEADPOOL! STOP BREAKING THE FORTHWALL! I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN AFFORD A REPAIRMAN!!!

“Ethics? Playing god?! I created easily affordable 3D printed organs that are perfectly compatible with the human body! Do you know how many people will die if you bring me to "justice”? I saw what happened to the guy who almost cured cancer! You’re no hero, you’re just a hired gun!“

Another hero: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ENGAGED TO A VILLAIN?!?!?! Me: 1. they're hot. 2. We're both ADHD 3. Their rambles are way too cute. How could I not marry them?

A supervillain known for going on tangents during a monologue has captured the hero. The hero broke free of the restraints a while ago but pretends to remain captured to see how off topic the supervillain will get.

... were you talking to me or him? Cause if you were talking to him... I FIXED THE PROBLEM!

The hero busts through the door and says “I have come to end your reign of terror!” Just as you put a dagger through the emperor’s heart.

REBLOG IF YOU WANT PETA TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES!!!

All my homies hate PETA.

Exactly: You called?

When you turn 18, you go to the Chapel to summon a Familiar, then your future is decided based on its shape. All you can do is name the creature and then the summoning does the rest. After you name it, the priestesses all stare at you with horror in their eyes, then scream when it appears.