Me: I DIDN'T DO IT..... I THINK!

Something that ACTUALLY happened at school Me: No ya idiot! Feminism doesn't mean you hate women!! This kid I'll call by his nickname "Tolo" Tolo: I'm not a feminist, I love women! I'm a misogynist! *raises his fist* Me: *noises of anger*

"Bitch all I'm trying to do is assaininate someone!!!"

“…If all else fails, claim you’re a time traveler and that you’re trying to stop a disaster or something. It’s not exactly a sure bet, but there’s enough people out there who will let you do anything if they think it’s to save the future. Hell, if you’re convincing enough they’ll help you.”

My cousins didn't come over today but I probably am the gay cousin since I'm bisexual.

if you don't have a gay cousin at your thanksgiving, I am your gay cousin for today. I'm wearing a croptop and I'm excited about cranberry sauce

. . . I kinda want it to be Gyutaro from demon slayer NGL

You, a normal human, try out a dating app you've never heard of and soon find out it's a dating app for supernatural entities. Every date you go on, your date is always surprised you're not repulsed by their non-human features. But your latest date just can't believe you're not joking…

". . . Well that's kinda a dumb rule" "I KNOW RIGHT?!" "So.... can I still come cause like..... I've watched a lot of cartoons as a kid so I wanna whack someone with a mallet. It's actually on my bucket list of questionable things I wanna do." "Your what now?"

You were summoned to a fantasy world. As you are eager to begin your new life as the hero, the summoner explains: "Actually, our party already has one. In fact, you're only here because we need a human member in order for us to be officially recognized as a hero's party."

Me: Umm.... hey boss? Boss: any new leads on that case? Me: Yeah, I found myself Boss: What?? Me: Turns out I was kidnapped and my parent's aren't my parents! Boss: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

You’re a detective that opens up an old missing child case from 1997, after new evidence had occurred. You stumble back from desk in shock. You’re the missing 1997 child

@chromeeeeeeeeee why is this so true?????????????

My mom supports Trump (I kinda do too but I'm not 100% into politics) and we're Mexican and when I saw these posts, I laughed. I fucking laughed. Shows how leftists are at times. My mom has a thermos with "leftist tears" written on it. I'm not saying all leftists are bad, there are bad people in the right as well, but this is so fucking fun too see that many more republicans. I live in a leftist city so it's rare for me to see republicans.

Reblogging cause why not

Only day you can reblog this

yo gang ur likes r public (i dont really care just. yk 👍)

Just fixed it! And I swear to fucking god if you say anything about what you saw I will tell everyone in the girl's locker room you simp for fiction characters...... LOVE YOU BESTIE >30