Most Straight Ships Make Me Uncomfortable, Because I Can't Shake Off The Feeling That The Man Doesn't

457 are so harrymort coded

fanfic authors b like ‘haha this chapter got a little out of hand it’s a little longer like 60k words’

babes that’s a novel. you wrote a novel.

#agree #fuck fanon #canon Sirius Black #canon Remus Lupin #wolfstar critical

Yeesssss

What is your saltiest take on fanon Sirius?

Sirius being closer to Remus than he is to James.

Look. i get that y’all are wolfstar fans. i get that you love your ship. but. no. just. no. there is not a single fucking shred of evidence for that in the entirety of canon. not. one. frankly, the opposite is overtly implied/stated many times. who did sirius go to when he ran away? james’ place. JAMES. not remus. James. who did McGonagal, Rosmerta, hagrid and flitwick fondly reminisce about and say ‘never saw one without the other’ ’you’d have thought they were brothers... inseparable!' ‘ringleaders of their little gang’ ‘trusted him above all his other friends.’

was it remus? no. it most definitely was not. it was james. was remus even once mentioned in the conversation about james and sirius at hogwarts? nope. nada. zippo. zilch. exactly zero times did it come up. and to be clear. lupin’s not there at the table. they obviously think they’re not gonna be overheard by anyone (lmao, you’d think they’d be more competent than that) otherwise they wouldn’t be discussing any of this out in public but… lupin’s in their minds because he’s back at hogwarts. so. it’s not like they’ve forgotten who he is. it’s just that the person that they automatically associate with sirius black is james potter. even peter gets a shout out ‘that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them’ but Rosmerta literally doesn’t even remember remus as ever being with them. 

not to mention the fact that they didn’t trust each other enough to tell the truth during the first war. oh. and james named SIRIUS Harry’s godfather. he didn’t do the whole dual godfathers thing. he chose sirius. not remus. sorry mates, but it’s the truth. and he made (or at least wanted to make) SIRIUS their secret keeper.. not. remus…

look you can ship whoever you want (lord knows just about every single marauders fan there is is obsessed with wolfstar) but don’t try to erase or manipulate/bend/ignore/disregard canon to suit your desired ship (and then act like it actually is canon and not just what you want)

Men are just incapable of creating meaningful friendships that would fullfill their emotional needs and that is not women's fault.

If I have to see one more goddamn mention of the “male loneliness epidemic” i’m going to shoot myself. Yknow women have been lonely. For centuries. For millennia women have been lonely, isolated in marriages they didn’t want, forced into domestic labour they never asked for, at home with children they never dreamed of having, having their rights, their dreams, their aspirations, their hopes and dreams stripped away from them. For millennia! But sure some men can’t make friends and mean women won't fuck them. Let’s call it an epidemic and have all of the world’s professionals turn an eye to it, let’s have a shit ton of articles and papers written about why men can’t make friends or get girlfriends and how that’s just not fair you guys! It’s not as though men have been having the world spoon fed to them, carried to them on a golden platter for millennia either. It’s not as though every woman in a man’s life is forced constantly to do emotional labour for him because he has the mentality of a fucking six year old and is effectively useless on his own. It is the de facto position for a wife or a girlfriend to “fix” a useless man, to make him a real man, to make him empathetic and kind and patient, to temper and mature him and just hope to god he doesn’t fucking kill her on the way there. Men are lonely? Fucking good. Maybe, for the first time in civilisation, they fucking should be.

Nicely written 😊

My problem with Lily and James being seen as a super couple has nothing to do with Severus Snape but rather with the fact that when we look at the relationship between James and Lily through a feminist lens, it’s hard not to notice some pretty glaring issues that go beyond just whether or not they’re an “OTP” couple. Sure, on the surface it might seem like a story of two people finding love amid all the chaos, but scratch beneath the surface and you see a whole lot more about toxic masculinity, objectification, and the erasure of a woman’s agency. James is celebrated as this charming, rebellious “bad boy” with a roguish smile, while Lily gets stuck playing the role of the sacrificial, moral compass woman—someone who exists largely to balance out and even redeem the male narrative. And honestly, that’s a problem.

James is shown as this complex, active character who’s constantly surrounded by friends, enemies, and drama. His life is dynamic and full of choices—even if those choices sometimes involve manipulation and deceit. He’s the kind of guy who can easily slip out of confinement with his Invisibility Cloak, leaving Lily behind in a narrative that, over time, turns her into a background figure. This dynamic isn’t accidental; it’s reflective of how our culture often values male agency over female independence. Lily, on the other hand, is repeatedly reduced to her relationships with the men around her. Instead of being a person with her own dreams, opinions, and friendships, she becomes a symbol—a kind of emotional barometer for how “good” or “bad” a man is. Her character is used to validate the actions of others, which means her individuality gets smothered under the weight of a trope that’s all too common in literature: the idea that a woman’s worth is measured by her ability to tame or save a troubled man.

This isn’t just about a lack of depth in Lily’s character; it’s also about how her portrayal reinforces harmful gender norms. Lily is depicted as this kind of sacrificial mother figure—a person whose primary virtue is her selflessness, her willingness to suffer and sacrifice for the sake of others. While selflessness is often celebrated in women, it’s a double-edged sword when that selflessness is the only thing we see. Instead of having her own narrative, her role is defined by how much she gives up, not by what she contributes or the inner life she leads. And it’s not just a narrative oversight—it’s a reflection of a broader cultural pattern where women are expected to be nurturing, supportive, and ultimately secondary to the male characters who drive the action.

What’s even more frustrating is how Lily’s isolation is used to further the narrative of James’s redemption. Over time, we see Lily’s network of friends and her connections outside of James gradually disappear. It’s almost as if, once she falls in love, her entire world is meant to shrink around that relationship. And here’s where the feminist critique really kicks in: this isn’t a realistic depiction of a balanced, healthy relationship—it’s a story that subtly suggests that a woman’s fulfillment comes from being dependent on one man and his circle, rather than cultivating her own identity. Meanwhile, James continues to be portrayed as this larger-than-life figure who’s got a whole world beyond his romantic entanglement, a world filled with vibrant interactions, rivalries, and a legacy that extends beyond his relationship with Lily.

Another point worth mentioning is the way in which the narrative seems to excuse James’s less-than-stellar behavior. His manipulation, his lying, and his willingness to trick Lily into situations that serve his own interests are brushed off as quirks of a “bad boy” persona—a kind of charm that, in the end, makes him redeemable because Lily’s love is supposed to “tame” him. This kind of storytelling not only normalizes toxic masculinity but also puts an unfair burden on Lily. It’s like saying, “Look how amazing you are, you’re the only one who can fix him!” That’s a dangerous message because it implies that women are responsible for managing or even reforming male behavior, rather than holding men accountable for their own actions.

The imbalance in their character development is glaringly obvious when you compare how much more we learn about James versus how little we know about Lily. James is given room to be flawed, to grow, and to be complicated. His friendships, his rivalries, and even his mistakes are all part of what makes him a rounded character. Lily, however, is often just a name, a face in the background who exists mainly to serve as a counterpoint to James’s narrative. Her inner life, her ambitions, and her struggles are rarely explored in any meaningful way, leaving her as a one-dimensional character whose only real purpose is to highlight the moral journey of the man she loves.

It’s also important to recognize how this kind of narrative plays into broader cultural ideas about gender. When literature consistently portrays women as the quiet, isolated figures who are only valuable in relation to the men around them, it sends a message about what is expected of real-life women. It suggests that a woman’s worth is determined by how much she sacrifices or how well she can support a man, rather than by her own achievements or personality. This isn’t just a harmless trope—it contributes to a societal mindset that limits women’s potential and reinforces gender inequality. The way Lily is written reflects a kind of “tamed” femininity that’s supposed to be passive, supportive, and ultimately secondary to the active, adventurous masculinity that James represents.

At the heart of the issue is the lack of balance in their relationship as depicted in the texts. The idea that Lily “fell for” a man who was clearly not a paragon of virtue is problematic, but what’s even more problematic is how her role in the relationship is so narrowly defined. Rather than being seen as an independent character who makes choices and has her own voice, she is constantly portrayed as someone whose existence is meant to validate the male experience. Even when the texts mention that Lily had her own issues—like hating James at times or suffering because of the way their relationship unfolded—it’s always in a way that underlines her weakness compared to James’s dynamic, active presence.

Looking at the broader picture, it’s clear that this isn’t just about one fictional couple—it’s a reflection of how gender dynamics have long been skewed in literature. Male characters are given the freedom to be complex, flawed, and full of life, while female characters are often stuck in roles that don’t allow them to be fully realized. This isn’t to say that every story with a sacrificial female character is inherently bad, but it does mean that when a character like Lily is reduced to a mere symbol—a moral compass or a measure of male worth—it’s time to ask why and what that says about the society that produced that narrative.

So, what’s the way forward? For one, we need to start reimagining these relationships in a way that allows both partners to be fully fleshed out. Lily deserves to be more than just a side character or a moral benchmark; she should have her own narrative, her own dreams, and her own agency. And as much as it might be appealing to think of James as this redeemable rebel, it’s equally important to hold him accountable for the ways in which his behavior perpetuates harmful stereotypes about masculinity. A healthier narrative would be one in which both characters grow together, where mutual respect and equal agency are at the core of their relationship.

In the end, the story of James and Lily, as it stands, is a reminder of how deeply ingrained gender norms can shape the stories we tell. It’s a cautionary tale about the dangers of allowing toxic masculinity to go unchecked and of confining women to roles that don’t do justice to their full humanity. For anyone who’s ever felt frustrated by these imbalances, there’s hope in the idea of re-writing these narratives—of pushing for stories where both men and women are seen as complete, complex individuals. And really, that’s what literature should strive for: a reflection of the messy, beautiful, and often complicated reality of human relationships, where no one is just there to serve as a prop in someone else’s story.

Ultimately, if we can start imagining a world where characters like Lily aren’t just defined by their relationships to men, where their voices and stories are given as much weight as those of their male counterparts, then we can begin to chip away at the outdated tropes that have held us back for so long. It’s about time we celebrated the full spectrum of human experience—and that means giving women like Lily the space to shine on their own terms, without being constantly overshadowed by a “bad boy” narrative that has little to say about their true selves.

I'm glad Sirius went to Azkaban

‘She wasn’t a good mother’ great are we evaluating this character trait as one of her many facets or are we just damning her for not being the most maternal womanliest woman who ever womaned

Everytime I see Snape posts that include Rickman's face I get the urge to cry and throw up.

I think they were friendly and maybe even friends like they would stand up for each other and protect one another because they shared the same loved one - James - and had similar values etc. but I never felt like they were close. From what we know Lily and James started dating in 7th year, I imagine Sirius to be kind of resentful towards Lily because she stole James's time/attention from him so there was never a healthy opportunity to get close even tho they were friendly, I imagine they started to become friends during the time when Lily and James were forced to stay at home. Lily never mentions Remus so they were even less closer atleast in the final years of her life and I imagine she included Peter a lot because she pitied him or hell maybe he was funny or smth. But I still prefer to imagine her as James's girlfriend and wife only and that's how the marauders viewed her.

Lily's dynamic with the marauders (unpopular opinion)

Am I the only one who feels that lily wasn't as close to the marauders as the fandom makes her out to be?

Now before u jump at me, it's obviously fun to explore the dynamics btw different characters thru hcs and fanfics. However, i m only considering canon facts in this post.

First off, we never hear sirius or remus speak about lily when james isn't involved in the conversation. James was obviously a close friend, more lyk a brother, so its only natural that they reminisce him often. Both of them remark on harry's resemblance to james pretty often. It's literally the first thing sirius mentions when he sees harry for the first time in poa, saying james would have taken risks for him the same way harry came for ron. Remus compares harry's humor and unflinching belief in his friends to james aswell. There are constant little mentions post gof of james by both of them.

But lily? Absolutely nothing. We obviously can't expect her to be mentioned as many times as james coz she wasn't in their original friend group, but she isn't mentioned at all. The only time she's spoken about is post swm, and that's still in relation to her getting together with james. We learn more about lily from snape, someone she cut ties with when she was 15, than from her supposed besties. Heck, we learn more about her from Slughorn, her school teacher, than we ever did from sirius and remus.

Ik lily addresses sirius and peter by their nicknames in that letter, but i honestly always saw it as a casual thing, obvs in a fond way but not an indicator of their relationship.

There is obviously potential for a close friendship, there's often potential for a lot of things in fiction, but that doesn't make it canon. Apart from fighting the same war these characters don't seem to have anything in common. Yeah, both lily and sirius have complicated relationships with their siblings, but I would hardly compare a failed relation to having your sibling be brainwashed by your abusive family into following a cult that's trying to get u and ur friends killed.... Besides, lily is portrayed as this pure, perfect mother in canon while sirius and remus are both massively flawed characters, and that leaves little room for understanding between these characters.

Now, this isn't to say that the didn't like each other ofc, but the way lily's only mentioned with respect to james, they probably liked and respected her as their best friend's wife. There's no way I'm believing that they were super close when she isn't mentioned on her own even once after she's dead, it makes it pretty clear that the relationship was only because of james. There's nothing wrong with that ofc, it happens in plenty of friend groups and families, i just wish there were more fics representing their relationship the way it was originally written( although fanfics exploring their relationship are LIT in their own fanon way).

Fleur is hotter

I hate when Sirius Black is not the most attractive man in the room. I'm sorry Remus, who? James, who? Regulus, who? Barty, who? Get out of here. It's Sirius of Troy, girl.