Mikayuumouse - Mikayuumouse

This tweet reminded me of this one panel from the manga

OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.

I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.

At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.

He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)

Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.

In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.

I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.

Lover by Taylor Swift fits sskk imo 

I can't not think of the lyric:

"Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover" because of the "take me out" part obviously meaning on a date but also it can be interpreted as assassination in some contexts, and Akutagawa swore to kill Atsushi (as if that's ever gonna happen), but he could also take him on a date lmao 

"And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?" is a fitting lyric to the dynamic of their relationship about how connected they feel inevitably even if they haven't known each other long (they're soulmates 😔)

"Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my handI take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover" the scars lyric, the hearts lyric, everything in this song is just so sweetly sskk (if they started dating, at least)

What do you think Gin, Tachihara, Chuuya and Higuchi's reactions to Akutagawa dating Atsushi would be?

gin: really happy for him honestly. their brother has found someone he really loves and who really loves him!

tachihara: "yeah sure he's dating someone that's great I guess. am I supposed to say more???" also salty that akutagawa has a boyfriend but he's still single

chuuya: also happy for him! atsushi is a good kid. not the biggest fan of akutagawa dating a member of the ada though because that means... one or both of them might have to see dazai.....

higuchi: sobbing and devastated for the entire first week after she hears the news. and then immidiately after that she gets over it and is the #1 sskk supporter

I didn’t know you had a tumblr!! I love your fics so this is such a treat to find you here <3 your art is super cute!

AAAA HIII :DD

Yeah I never tagged my Tumblr on my ao3 acc lol 😭 I might in later fics though

And it's great to meet you too on Tumblr!

Thank you so much<333 that means a lot to me (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

THE LATEST CHAPTER OH MY GOD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD????

Asagiri I love you 🙏

Okay so like

Pls I'm still processing everything oh my GOD what the what just happened like oml THE ATSUSHI DEVELOPMENT HELLO?? THE DAZAI DELUSION REVEAL???

and tHE SSKK

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE SSKK

ATSUSHI SAW AKUTAGAWA'S PAST NOW?? THEY HAVE A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING NOW??? AND LIKE

UENGDNVSGKEJGSSGJDGJDJHSFHFS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH RN

okay so like

is Akutagawa maybe actually kinda really in love with Atsushi??

AAAAAAAAA I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC AND GROWTH

This chapter was full of new things aistidvmufsitshffj oml Atsushi Atsushi Atsushi my baby oml I'm still trying to figure everything out like I have two braincells rn oml I love this chapter though AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am unwell

Absolutely gutwrenching choice they made when they showed us Akutagawa coming to the conclusion that he had to kill Atsushi, only to have that realization be directly followed by the most mournful and regretful expression Akutagawa can show. The authors of this manga love sskk so freaking much

good and cool and normal thoughts in my brain about sskk. as always

imagining them post-canon is always a time but right now I'm specifically thinking of ways they would show trust to each other. because they would absolutely, absolutely trust each other more than anything.

i have a few interesting thoughts on how they would show trust.

one is clothes as trust-- akutagawa's form of vulnerability. not wearing his coat around atsushi, or letting atsushi borrow it. not feeling the need to wear long sleeves or layers. being around atsushi means he doesn't need to be on guard, ready to tear somebody apart with rashomon in an instant. it doesn't feel like he's exposing himself to be killed if he wears lighter clothes, less clothes, no clothes at all. because being around atsushi is inherently safe to him.

one is food as trust-- atsushi's form of vulnerability. food was something he was rarely given as a child, and it's something that he wouldn't share. it's too precious. but he would get food for akutagawa, share food with him, save some of his own food for akutagawa to eat. and akutagawa would do the same. akutagawa isn't going to let him starve. he'll eat his part of a shared meal and let atsushi have his. if atsushi gives akutagawa some of his food, he trusts that some other day, akutagawa will give atsushi some of his. he doesn't need to live in fear that he won't eat again, because he trusts that akutagawa won't let that happen.

and lastly, rest. sleep. sleeping next to somebody is one of the most vulnerable things you can do, especially for atsushi and akutagawa, who were in danger throughout their childhoods. sleeping means you can be killed. sleeping means you are unaware. sleeping means you can be betrayed. to close their eyes, let alertness of their surroundings slip away, feel sure that the other won't hurt or kill them, maybe even that the other will hold them gently... that's the sort of trust they'd have.