Beast Akutagawa

dont look at me with those big beautiful eyes im trying to be Weird and evil to you

swamped with work and only slightly alive, but at least sskk is canon thank you asagiri

Recently saw the phrase "double-blind" in my psych textbook and it made me think of double-black. And then I thought of some more variations, so now i'm making it yall's problem.

I also did a little comic for "double-bind" but I'll post that separately

My drawing of Botan (Thomas) from the Air we Breathe by @giftedecho, a Shin Soukoku fanfiction and it's on Ao3! It's such a great fanfic I'm so glad I could do art for it ❤️

atsushi—the one to finally understand akutagawa’s humanity. now seeing his backstory, witnessing the lowest moments of akutagawa’s life—when he was most dehumanized—through his own eyes. someone finally seeing them for what they truly were: tragedy, relentless abuse, the suffering of a wounded child. no more the image of a heartless beast. no more “this is what needed to happen.” no more “this was the only way akutagawa could have learned.”

as someone who has seen the depths of akutagawa’s heart, as someone who has brought change within him through trust, sincerity, and companionship. as someone who treasures akutagawa’s humanity and fights for it—begging him not to lose to himself, because now, atsushi equates akutagawa with that humanity. he would die before letting him surrender to its erosion—and he did sacrifice himself for it.

as someone who, when akutagawa fully reveals that deeply human side of himself, embraces it so completely that he replicates that moment in his own sacrifice.

and now, he watches as akutagawa’s humanity is torn down, again and again. but he is someone who understands—down to the depths of his heart—that akutagawa’s humanity is inherent. that no matter what anyone else, even the narrative itself, wants him to believe—nothing can take that away.

Something that gets me as much if not even more emotional than Atsushi sacrificing himself is... The fact that Akutagawa cares. He cares so much about Atsushi. And it's silly of mine to even be surprised, we already knew that he cared: he died for him! But all the same, Akutagawa is someone so who feels so inherently evil, so deeply cursed, so fundamentally unfit for love, the fact that he's capable of loving someone in a way that is so deep, so spontaneous, so raw– it's so profoundly moving.

Saw someone on Twitter saying that maybe Dazai image shattering and becoming the headmaster was because Atsushi saw Dazai for who he really was and now the headmaster and him are in the same level.

Two abusers who stripped the humanity out of children for "their own good"

I'm literally throwing up rn don't talk to me

In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team :)

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.