Part 4 Of The Jeralt-adopts-(almost)everyone-AU

wooloos wish 

what if hylia was like nine feet tall and thoght link was cute

New City, New Name, Who the Fuck is This?

When Danny had been forced to ditch his dimension, life, name, and home, he'd set his sights on a place so far removed from what he was used to, and a name he was so far removed from, that he would never be reminded of what he left behind.

With Clockwork's help, he constructed a fake Identity, got himself a decent three bedroom apartment, and settled into Gotham. Sure it was a shit hole, a terrible place full of terrible people, but it was so infested with crime that fulfilling his obsession could be easily achieved without ever going ghost.

So he settled in, laid back, and used his first few months to enjoy his new life and adjust. With his coffers as High King, he doesn't have to work, he just fashioned himself an ID as a trust fund baby and moved forward.

Then he gets a knock on his door.

It's Child Protective Services.

They're looking for Eddie Daniel Drake, his new identity. Apparently, his nephews last living parent died and Eddie was listed as the next in line to get the kid.

Problem

This is a fake Identity.

He doesn't have a brother who recently died, and he certainly doesn't have a nephew.

Which means that someone falsified documents, and the're trying to get to the kid.

So.

Shit.

Danny has a kid now.

And given how weirdly attached Bruce Wayne is, and how connected that guy is, he's kinda starting to think that maybe Mr. Wayne has something to do with the falsified documents.

@simplestoryteller

I dont think lbh ever really tried to kill lqg during the 5 years of corpse-zun...but i think it would be hilarious if, because liu qingge is an anomoly who was never meant to fight lbh, who admittedly isnt on binghe's level but hes still pidw's war god.....

Lbh just is incapable of killing lqg. Like some sort of video game glitch, like when you take an item out of its designated area when youre not supposed to and the game cant quite do what you want to, everytime binghe tries to kill lqg some sort of looney tunes-shit happens that save lqg last minute. Like the worlds game engine can let them fight, and Lqg will never be able to beat lbh in a fight, but everytime lbh tries to actually kill the man, he starts falling into xianxia manholes and xianxia anvils start falling a la the beam falling during the skinner incident

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

they made out furiously afterwards

Call Back A Warning AU Snippet — Byakuya Ishigami

Dr. STONE Time Travel fic where they call into the past after 4D Science to NASA a year or so before the Initial Petrification Event. Check the 'call back a warning au' tag for more snippets and ideas.

There was something strange going on in Mission Control.

Byakuya didn't know much about it, since most of his time was taken up by training for the space flight he had finally, finally, finally been selected for. Why would he need to snoop around when there was something that fun to look forward to?

But he was always fond of gossip, so he heard the whispers. Something seriously strange was going down in Mission Control.

The people who worked on that floor regularly had almost secluded themselves entirely inside, only leaving for quick rest breaks before charging back inside. Even for rocket scientists, this level of dedication was extreme.

At first, he had been worried that something had gone wrong on the ISS, but everyone on it seemed to be just fine. Which begged the question: what was freaking them out so much?

"Why're you telling me all this, old man?" Senku drawled from the other side of the world. They were having their weekly call - well, the call they were meant to be having every week, if Senku didn't end up postponing due to a breakthrough, which happened saddeningly often.

"Because, Senku!" He replied cheerfully, "I think they've made contact with aliens!"

A pause, and then a scoff, "It's ten billion times more likely that they're having a talk about the stone swallows I've been investigating for a while now."

"Oh?" He teased, "You got insider knowledge about what's happening?"

He knew that Senku talked to some NASA ground scientists about his research, so it wouldn't be a stretch. He just wished that he was smart enough to keep up with his son's voracious appetite for knowledge.

"Not a millimeter." Senku laughed, "Even Xeno's clammed up and he loves handing out state secrets. Thinks that that makes him a supervillain or something."

Ah, right, Xeno. The one who had gleefully told Senku how to distill gasoline into being rocket fuel-worthy when his son was ten. What could possibly be so important that he wasn't letting Senku know, even upon being asked?

He was hooked now.

After ending his call with his son, Byakuya ventured to Mission Control. Just a quick stop, he promised himself, to sate his curiosity.

When he stuck his head inside, he found the place in disarray. Simulations were being run on all the computers of an Earth progressing through time for some reason. Whiteboards covered in equations and notes were set up everywhere. Every scientist in the room looked dead on their feet.

Over the speakers, there was a crackly voice was droning on, "A simple transmission back requires more than ten thousand exatonne joules, and that didn't even account for how we'd receive your replies, which were crucial, but Joel worked out this nifty idea-"

Byakuya knew his son's voice. Sure, it was deeper and different and all wrong for some reason even through the incessant static, but he knew his son's voice.

He looked down at his phone, where his call log reported them ending the call not five minutes prior.

He looked back up in confusion, "Senku?" He asked, because this was a prank, right? He'd gotten contacted by a scientist who didn't realize he was a kid and decided to roll with it?

... Had he been talking to a bot?

The room had gotten very, very quiet all of a sudden. Everyone had turned around to stare at him.

One of the people had had their hand pressed down on a large button labeled 'Transmit', he noticed just then. So his son had definitely heard him and realized he'd been found out.

Except when Senku next spoke, it didn't sound like how Senku would normally react.

"B-Byakuya?" His voice was shaky and strained.

There was a fumbling sound, as if someone was being hastily dragged from the mic, and then a new, unknown person said, "Senku isn't responding very well to this. We told you to keep him away."

Everyone in the room glared at him, but Byakuya didn't care.

All he could think about was the pain and fear in Senku's much older and almost unrecognizable voice.

"What's going on?" He asked, almost surprising himself with the sternness he said it with.

Danny has gotten a high paying job! And he gets to work with a celebrity!

Danny gets a job as the Wayne's PA, and while working with Bruce, he notices something.

The dude's a ditz, for sure, but also.

Also...

He isn't.

Danny realizes it's an act, and that actual ditzyness from the professionals around him drive his new boss up a wall.

But Bruce can't actually point it out, or he reveals that he isn't as ditzy as they say.

Danny decides to have fun; with his powers, he can play an even bigger himbo than Bruce Wayne. (Intangibility will be sure to outplay the Prince of Gotham's clumsiness).

Every time he does his job well, he makes sure to do it in an oblivious fashion that seems like it's going to fail, but then works beautifully.

It's a lot of work, but...the subtle eye twitch of internalized rage? The forced exhale of a quiet, agonized scream of frustration? The sometimes subconscious clenching of the man's fist?

Fucking worth it.

Basically, Danny realizes he can antagonize the richest man in America and still not get fired; the fic.