Imagine You’re Gregory House And You Work Exclusively Alone And Stupid Cuddy Is Making You Take On

when the two least affectionate guys ever start dating, their love language becomes acknowledging each other's presence

animorphs is funny because the kids spend almost the entire series turning into birds of prey to fly in virtually every scenario while complaining about how they have to space themselves out so it doesn't look suspicious that all these rare raptors are grouped together, about how birds of prey often have to do a lot of hard flapping work to fly in some situations they're not meant for, about tiring out easily, etc. to the point where it starts getting weird and confusing that they literally always use those bird morphs instead of thinking to turn into e.g. migratory geese for certain situations as per their general capacity for pragmatism. and then in literally one of the last books in the series some of them turn into geese to fly long distance and spend the entire time going "wtf this is great why the fuck didnt we do this earlier holy shit." and also the answer to that question is at least in part "one of the animorphs is just literally on all levels including physical a hawk that gets snooty about bird species he thinks suck and would have been really annoying about it"

Look I’m just saying if you don’t write young justice as ride or die-down for murder for each other at a moments notice you’re writing them wrong

the sillies

Young Justice be like “you wanna see some DEEPLY traumatized teenagers?”

forward, beckon, rebound

Happy Holidays guys! Just something silly I came up with 🤭 Tim has so many questions.

theyre fine probably

bonus:

Had to explain the plot of all for the game to someone who had no prior knowledge and holy shit. (Spoilers) Here’s some of my favorite footnotes from our texts:

To start with it is about a bastardized version of lacrosse called exy

And the yakuza

What

Does the yakuza have to do with lacrosse

The only joy he has is playing exy after his mom died and he burned her body in the first few pages of the book

Ah yes

Hillbilly cremation

10/10 for the environment

I’m honestly scared to actually read it

It made my mental health worse I think

Their mom decided to give up one and keep the other so one grew up in the foster system and one grew up with their abusive mother and they didn’t know abt each other until they were like 13ish? At which point one already had a SEVERE self harm addiction and the other had a severe drug addiction

Bro what 😭😭😭

And was HEAVILY abusive to them and their moms sibling was extremely religious (which sucked for their gay cousin, Nicky-he’s also on the exy team) and forced her to raise Andrew again after abandoning him as a baby and Andrew caught her abusing Aaron so he murdered her at 15ish

MURDER

A VALID MURDER

BUT MURDER

YEAH

AARON WAS NOT STOKED

I CAN IMAGINE

ALSO ANDREW LOCKED AARON IN A BATHRROM COMPLETELY ALONE FOR LIKE A WEEK AND FORCED HIM TO DETOX COLD TURKEY

WTF😭😭😭

Oh also Neil is like 5’4? There’s a lot of short kings in these books

Napoleon syndrome goes hard ig

Also I forgot to mention Kevin and Neil were childhood friends because Neil is technically supposed to be a raven (the ones who brand children) but his mom ran away from him and Neil knows who Kevin is but if I remember right Kevin doesn’t know who Neil is

Someone get these kids therapy

Please

They’d have to admit to all the murder

Get a mob boss therapist idk

TO BE PART OF THE TEAM BC THEY HAVE TO COME FROM FUCKED UP CIRCUMSTANCES THEY SEE BETSY DOBSON

Maybe it’s time to change religions

Atp I don’t see any other solution 😭

I need you to know everything I detailed happened in the first book and THERES FIVE

Fuck religions

Just death

They also go clubbing at a club called Eden’s like all the time

Ah yes, I’m mentally unstable, let me go to a club, shake some ass, grab a dick, and do a joint in the bathroom. Fun Friday night yall.

Also the older members call the younger members “the monsters” bc they’re good at exy but also because they don’t really view them as people

Again you’ve rendered me speechless and not in the fun way

Atp just burn down the school

THE YAKUZA TRIED 😭😭😭

TRY HARDER

ARSON ISNT ROCKET SCIENCE

Russian sleep experiment this author

Please

That summary makes it sound INTERESTING the points you described to me makes me think I should join a JIGSAW GAME I’d walk out of it with less trauma

Please comment some of your favorite fucked up things that happened in aftg 😭

Song Mingi, son of the Cheshire Cat

“Shapeshifting requires the ability to transcend your attachments, in particular your ego attachments to identity and who you are. If you can get over your attachment to labeling yourself and your cherishing of your identity, you can be virtually anybody. You can slip in and out of different shells, even different animal forms or deity forms.”

Fic