Moeder-aarde - Depressed Potatochip

Me: *gives my 6y/o brother a vew euro's for helping me out all day*

Other people: you dont have to give him so much he is just a child.

Me: *gives him more*

Like bro idc he is 6, he helped me a lot today so he deserves to get some actual money.

If you pay children a vew cents for hard work becouse "they dont need money"

Fuck you

Or taking a massive shit

3 am is such a powerful time. there are people sleeping. there are people partying. there are people having a movie marathon. there are people crying. there are people loving. there are people dying. there are people living. toegther at 3 am.

I was wrong

Avocados are overrated

Me

THE REAL FUCKING QUESTION IS!!!

Did the frog in spidermans mouth also turn to dust?

*starts jumping around out of nowhere

What my family thinks i think when I'm in my room: boy I sure love being surrounded by trash, no tidy life for this kid!

How my acrualy goes: I can't fucking believe this fucking mess, is it that hard to keep my room clean for once?? The laundry basket is literially a vew steps away, this stuff can be put back in their place within second, so why can't I keep it fucking clean. I literially am the most worthless person ever

I didnt get kicked out of therapy for 4 notes

I found ma next power move for therapy.

I take a bottle of ink with me and everytime my therapist takes notes i take a shot of the ink.

Tony, lying in bed about to go to sleep: shall I turn off the light?

Stephen: FRIDAY just a second please

Tony: *lying down and closing his eyes*

Stephen: *counting down to 00:00* 5…4…3..2..1

Stephen, as the light goes dark: you missed our anniversary. Goodnight.

Tony: *sitting up at once*

What if bugs would give light.

How fucked up would that be if they were in your room at night.

*sees a decapitated body* so no head?