Wow! A Compliment? For Me??

BUT THE JOKER ONE THO

:wheezeforce:

schlorp

If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise 

The Mayans used to worship turkeys as gods

Napoleon was attacked by bunnies

There were more than 600 plans to kill Fidel Castro (a Cuban dictator) including an exploding cigar and a poisoned diving suit

Abraham Lincoln is in the Wrestling Hall of Fame and was a licensed bartender

here is a little dragon i found because i am not a good artist

as previously mentioned, i’m celebrating my belated BIRTHDAY this month! In keeping with my time-honored tradition of pushing deadlines back until the last possible moment, I will be celebrating on January 31st. Here is my birthday wish list, and a list of facts that bring me great delight:

WISH LIST

$2 monthly ko-fi subscribers (to help me build a stable income)

$2+ = money for delicious groceries

$10-20 = a lovely restaurant meal

$40 = one day’s rent

(also this is my paypal)

a donation to the charity of your choice (especially ones that assist trans folks/queer youth. you can send me a screenshot or just drop a message in the notes :)

a drawing of a dragon playing a musical instrument and wearing a marvelous little hat. I would especially like to see townsfolks dancing around the dragon, appreciating its folksy musical talent

misc fun fact or drawing of something that makes you giggle

DELIGHTFUL FACTS

in the Victorian era, toilets would occasionally spontaneously explode due to buildup of flammable gases. this was a fact people just had to live with :)

it’s common for medical students to experience food cravings while dissecting human corpses, a phenomenon known as ”formaldehyde hunger“

the netherlands murdered and ate their prime minister that one time!

fish skin can be grafted onto humans (to speed up burn wound recovery), and here is a picture under the cut:

Keep reading

Omfg this is so freaking cute

HQ COUPLE PICTURES: YOUR BIRTHDAY EDITION !!

genre: fluff, comfort, and a lil crack

characters: ushijima wakatoshi, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsuro, sakusa kiyoomi, atsumu miya

important: all these take place in the timeskip unless stated otherwise !

authors note: hello wonderful people, i honestly don’t think this is going to preform very well but i hope a few of you still enjoy it <3 love you guys always

ushijima wakatoshi:

stop he is so cute

even though he tries really hard, he can’t get the day off from practice for your birthday :(

so by the time you wake up he’s already gone and you’re kind sad but understand

but you walk to the kitchen and see ALL those flowers 🥺🥺

he also left you a really cute love letter and ur basically crying cause ??? that’s SO cute ????

he calls you when they’re on a lunch break and he’s just really happy that you liked the flowers

so you go about your day doing whatever and have no idea that he got out early so he could prepare a surprise 🫢

you finally come home and hear noise coming from the bathroom (??)

you walk in to see the cute bath, candles, and champagne he prepared and AAAAA 🥹🥹

he sees your reaction and just smiles and walks over to kiss you

“happy birthday, my love”

brb sobbing my eyes out

oikawa tooru:

he really wants to be extra for you

but he’s just a broke high schooler 😭

however that does NOT stop him from doing his absolute best to make your birthday amazing

he starts off by knocking at your door SO early and ur like who the hell ??? 🤨🤨

only for you to open it and see ur boyfriend with coffee, donuts, and a gift in his hands 🥹

AND he looks so happy to see you 🥺🥺

he’s all like “hi baby, this is for you” SHUT UP HE SAYS IT SO SOFTLY AND SWEETLY

sobbing, crying, throwing up

you guys spend the morning together before he has to go but he won’t tell you where’s he off to

you don’t mind tho cause you have a plans with your close friends and he promised that he’d pick you up later on

so then the evening comes along and you’ve already such a great day

oikawa comes to pick you up and take you to his house

he turns on his lights and tell me why the other members of the seijoh 4 pop out and say “SURPRISE” 😭😭😭😭😭

THEYRE SO CUTE STOP

oikawa spent the whole afternoon trying to set up a cute little party for you with balloons, food, flowers, and your favorite flavor cake 😭🫶

and so the rest of the night is the 5 of you just having fun at your little surprise birthday party 🥹

kuroo tetsuro:

where do i even begin with this man

he wants to go ALL out pffft

honestly i don’t even know how this man did this all while you were asleep ??

but you wake up to a cake, flowers, and a bunch of balloons by your guys’ bed 🥺

he is SO happy when he sees you being all surprised and excited

“don’t worry baby, that’s just the start 😎”

it was, in fact, just the start

like he spends the whole day with you and when you guys arrive back home in the afternoon , he gives you all your presents ☹️

no cause tell me why this man hid them in the most random places LMAO

he’s pulling gift bags out of the attic and under the kitchen sink HAHAH

omg but i bet he got such thoughtful gifts too

okay but then he tells you to get ready but won’t tell you where you’re going

very suspicious coming from him 🤨

he takes you to the park at sunset and has a whole romantic picnic set up for you 😭😭😭😭

why is he so unintentionally good at being aesthetic tho ??

okay WAIT but then he reveals his last gift and it’s a PROMISE RING !!!1!1!1!

shut up i’m sobbing

sakusa kiyoomi:

okay i have a hc that sakusa is a really good gift giver

so this man just goes all out

you wake up and notice the gifts in the corner of the room like 😦😦⁉️

and then this man just walks in with cups of coffee and a little smug face

“oh good you’re awake” UWBHDBS

he hands you your coffee and just watches you open everything

omg no but he was so relieved when you said you didn’t want a party 😭

you guys spend the whole day together doing anything you wanted to do <3

then later on at night he makes you a really cute candlelit dinner 🥺

and for dessert you guys share that little cake 😭😭😭

he even sings you happy birthday which surprises u cause you’ve NEVER heard this man sing 😳

honestly it was a chill day but omi tried his best to make you feel special 🥲

atsumu miya:

okay but can you imagine high school atsumu being broke but still trying his best to do something for your birthday 🥺

he calls you the minute it’s your birthday and starts yelling (yes literally YELLING) about how much he loves you and how excited he is for you

“MY BABY HAPPY BIRTHDAY OH MY GOD YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME I LOVE YOU”

later on he texts you the picture of all those happy meals with absolutely no context ?? 🤨 like sir ????

arrives at your door like 5 minutes later with a smug look on his face

you guys spend the afternoon munching on chicken nuggets, burgers, and fries while watching your favorite show

oh my god shut up and then not too long after, suna and osamu show up at your door with a cake 😭😭

you were informed that osamu baked it and atsumu decorated it HAHAH

tell him he did a good job PLS he was so proud of how it came out 😭😭

the boys sing you happy birthday but none of you could be bothered to cut slices so they’re like “eh fuck it” AND JUST STRAIGHT UP EAT IT WHOLE IN THE CONTAINER

it was a good day overall ☺️

reblogs are greatly appreciated !

so cute :))

12/10/21🐄🍄

AWWWWW

bringing your boyfriend to the underworld to meet your 3 headed hell dog #justnicothings

i really thought this was from a tumblr staff member

I used Tumblr blaze to put a jpeg of Lonely Wizard from Inscryption with the phrase BEAST ATTACK NOW on literally every user’s dashboard. Soon it became a trend to post chains of that same image and phrase on posts with bad takes, which would cause the user to deactivate and explode.

please

I had a dream where every person, at exactly midnight on new years following their 22nd birthday, they possessed the body of their soulmate and people ran around trying to figure out who they were so that they could find eachother, and they left notes for the body’s owner to find with their address. And there were some language gaps so people had to translate it and travel to different countries carrying the notes they were left, and it was great

I am about as fragile as if you found a pile of bones and then tried to recreate a skeleton with them but only by balancing them on top of each other like this jenga this is me