2015 Year In Review

Staff: Show your followers your likes!

Me: Bitch, imma be kinkshamed to all hell if

So the story goes, I really liked this photo and when I saw my tampon string I was disappointed for a moment because I thought it took away the beauty of the photo. Then I laughed at myself and shook off that negative thinking because I think it makes the photo even more beautiful. Fuck the demonizing of menstruation. 

I am a woman. I bleed. I fight. I survive. 

Hear me motherfucking roar.

When you invite me over for sex and there are other people in the house.

Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting

Family and Friends: “What could be better than having kids?!”

Me:

Stop Ryan

When there’s too much shit you need to get done at once

PuPPIESSSS

http://iglovequotes.net/

The signs as things my dad has said to me

Aries: “Tell the cops to wait, I’m playing Call of Duty.”

Taurus: “Fuck it, I’m going to Canada.”

Gemini: “COME HOME THIS INSTANT I ACCIDENTALLY MADE 144 COOKIES.”

Cancer:  (playing cod) “I can’t hear you over the sound of me kicking all these twelve-year-olds’ asses.”

Leo: (pointing to a bruise on my hand) “Is that a hickey?”

Virgo:  “Don’t tell your mom, but I’m happy for the gays.”

Libra: “Sad movies are dumb.  I don’t want to pay ten dollars to cry for two hours.  I do that every day for free.”

Scorpio: “I want the board to change my job title from CEO to supreme leader.”

Saggitarius: “The only reason I have a facebook is to embarass your mom.”

Capricorn: “I have a crush on Eric Dane.”

Aquarius: “I’m hiding from your mother because I just told her to fight me and I’m scared she’ll win.”

Pisces: “When I die, make sure I get a viking funeral.  If I’m getting cremated, I’m getting cremated like a badass.”