Productivity Day 1/90

25 posts!

Yaay ig

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I have 5 1/3 days left for my master's entrance 1 and 11 1/3 days for master's entrance 2. I remember things from my first exam in Feb but I am unable to just gather my will to sit and study.

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

― Albert Camus, Notebooks: 1935-1951

Day 1. Friday , 18 August

There are so many nuances to my relationship that I cannot explain people at this moment. I wish I could. I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for over 2 years now.

Stuck between becoming Mysterious and Creative Whore on my social media.

Study set up for today

In a day that is so hot and sunny---a day in summer.... Children get to go out and play, Dogs get to go on short walks, and I get to stay at home and study physics. 🫤🙃