Moonmukamiamajiki - Moon Mukami Amajiki

moonmukamiamajiki

2 years ago

Skz Drabble — Alone (MinChan)

Author’s Note: this is a self insert but also a very specific one. Lots of it is my personal story from losing a parent. It’s hard sometimes; I’m here for anyone who needs it. Love you guys 🫶🏾

Wordcount: 1,617 (maybe I got carried away 😭)

Warnings: mentions of polyamory/ polyamorous relationships, descriptions of depression, loss of a loved one, a full bladder, suggestive at the end.

It was one in the afternoon. Nothing special about today; it was simply a Sunday. The birds chirped, the sun shined, and the wind blowed as cars came pass. Simple.

Yet, you lay in bed. Bound to bed by the leaps and bounds that is the world. You feel your heart getting heavier. You were triggered by the music playing in someone’s car as they drove pass. Your mom loved that song.

Now the tears won’t stop flowing. Your mind won’t stop going. Running and running trying to dodge all your problems. You fall back onto the bed covering your face as if that stopped the sobs that escaped you.

Sobs. For someone who only wanted you to not cry as their last wish. The pain of missing them and the guilt of not following their wishes keeps you wanting to do nothing but remain under the safety of your hands. So you do. You lay in bed with your eyes covered for a while.

Overthinking for a while. Would my mother be proud of me? Even on your best day, you aren’t the same person with your mother. Less motivated… less confident. Would she hate the person I’ve become? You lost the spark. Sometimes you debate on what you keeping going for. Is she even watching? Does it truly matter? You won’t get anything from her. Nobody else cares.

You eventually lay on your side staring at the window. Just clear, beautiful skies in view. The perfect juxtaposition to the mood inside your apartment right now. Dark, sadness looms over you. It’s been years. At this point, you should be fine right? Wrong.

Everyone applauds you for keeping it together. ‘Y/n is so strong’ ‘without my mom I don’t think I would make it y/n is an inspiration’. Unbeknownst to them, you are falling apart alone. You never let anyone know, never let anyone in. They all have too many things going on in their lives.

You had been in bed for way longer than expected at this point. It has been hours of overthinking and crying: a repeated cycle. You felt dehydrated, like your bladder was gonna explode, and exhausted. Yet, you remained in bed. In fetal position, you felt the safest from the world.

You were soon asleep. That’s why you didn’t notice Chan and Minho enter. Chan used his spare key. You hadn’t answered any of their messages or calls for a few days now. This was not normal; this is the longest slump you’ve been in since before you met them.

Normally, you can pull it together after a day. Possibly a few hours even. Three days you have spent at home now. You were convinced you would lose some of your skin complexion.

It was a mess in your house besides the living room. You kept the living room clean to keep appearances from neighbors. The kitchen had a stack of plates in the sink and the garbage was full. The bathroom had lots of tissues from crying on the sink and filling the garbage can. Also, some make up removal wipes because you tried to do your makeup at one point.

When they reach your room, they are prepared for the worst. Nerves eating at them and it showed on their faces.

“What if she’s not alive?” Minho whispers to Chan.

Chan shakes his head. “We’ll deal with it the best we know how..” He opens the door and is relieved you’re just sleeping. The light snores from your body alerted them immediately. Minho lets out a breath he was holding and holds his chest.

Your room: the most dirty of it all. Tissues, energy drink cans, water bottles, lots of plates and bowls, clothes on the ground, hair ties and jewelry just spewed about. The only jewelry missing is the necklace you always wear still on your neck.

“Maybe we should help clean? She doesn’t seem.. okay” Minho suggests. Chan simply nods. He is worried about you, and the condition of you and your place are concerning. Your house is normally rather clean, and you would be up doing some kind of studying or chores. Midday sleeping? Not the typical.

Chan takes on the bathroom cleaning the skin and shower first. While, Minho decides to focus on your kitchen. He starts with the dishes and counters. Chan was going to clean your bathroom mirror, but he saw the affirmations you wrote on it. ‘Tomorrow will be better’ in red lipstick. You weren’t doing okay… his suspicions were right.

Minho decided since the dishwasher was going and the counters were clean maybe he could clean the fridge and stove. The stove required little scrubbing. In the fridge, he found minimal things. Some soup, drinks, eggs, and fruit. The soup he recognized as something you mentioned you loved a lot as a child. Did you make it to feel comfortable? Did it work?

After they both cleaned the floors, they decided to clean your room. They were the most nervous about this because they could wake you. Minho gathered the garbage in a bag since he had taken all the dishes out earlier to put in the dishwasher. He could easily take the garbage out as well. It was part of the kitchen. Chan decided to do your laundry. He took the time to read every clothing label to sort and wash them correctly. They couldn’t clean the floor without waking you, so they decided to wait on that part.

You woke up to the sound of Chan and Minho talking somewhere. You didn’t even connect the dots yet. You groaned as you woke up. You didn’t go use the bathroom before sleeping now you felt the worst stomach pain ever.

Minho was alerted immediately and came to the room.

“Y/n-ah are you okay?” He questions, getting a little close to the bed.

“Can you help me to the bathroom, please?” You beg him. He immediately lifts you out the cover to which you moan in pain. “I’m sorry..” he mumbles. You shake your head. “This is all my fault. Let’s make this quick.” He hustles and helps you to the bathroom. Chan is also watching as you almost immediately go when your on the toilet.

He sighed. “I told you about holding in your piss!” You shrink a little. “I know I’m sorry Channie..” He was going to lecture you, but he hopes the pain is a lesson enough. You go to wash your hands afterwards still in pain. The pain takes a while to subside; it was actual torture and discomfort.

Chan carries you to the living room and sits you on the couch. Here you are between Chan and Minho as they both look at you. You have been exposed. It was a hard to even say anything. The men who you had been seeing were upset with you.

“I can- I can explain.” You stutter out as loud as possible. They nod in an agreement. “Go on.” Minho beckons.

“I.. I’ve had a hard few days. As you both know, I am without both my parents. My mother being the closest to me. I have just been reminded of her so much, and it hurts. Listening to the songs she likes, smelling the perfumes she wore, seeing people who look like her, and the worst of all is when I watch someone die in a movie or show. I can’t do it. My heart is too weak.” Chan rubs your back gently as he holds one of your hands. Minho wipes the tears you didn’t feel fall as he holds your thigh.

“Y/n.. we’re your boyfriends. Why not tell us? We were in the dark about you, your physical and mental state, and that is scary for us.” Chan softly spoke.

“I am prideful.. I can’t be weak even to the people closest to me. You guys always give me so much credit. Meanwhile it is so fucking hard! I take so long in the shower because I can cry in there without you guys seeing me. I just don’t want to worry you guys either. You’re super busy and going through things on your own tha-“ Minho cuts you off. He normally doesn’t interrupt, so you’re immediately confused but attentive.

“In a relationship, we are supposed to be there for each other 100% of the time. If the person needs something, you should be able to balance them. It is three of us. Please don’t feel like you have to be alone in anything. We love you. We care for you. We will always want to hear your concerns and troubles. Don’t do this again.. please.” You could see the concern and sadness on their faces. They actually want that from you. They care about you.

“I’m sorry to worry you. I will try to put my pride aside when it comes to you guys. It will take some getting use to. I know I messed up, but I love you guys too. I don’t want to lose you.” You cuddle closer to Minho and pull Chan in too. They cuddle you smiling softly.

“Our hard-headed girl” Chan pats your head and laughs. “Literally. Also, our messy girl. You’re welcome for cleaning.” Minho rolls his eyes as he says that. “Thank youuu. Sleepover?” You ask excitedly. “Sure let’s get the bed ready.” Chan says as he gets up, stretching his arms and back.

Minho taps you for you to get up and stands up. “Don’t worry we’ll be gentle tonight. You have done enough crying already. As long as you feel satisfied, we can do whatever.” He says, winking and grabbing the towels out the dryer.

Taglist — @kflixnet @l-luvr @lino-jagiyaa 🐶 @moonmukamiamajiki 🤍 @kpflyn

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moonmukamiamajiki

2 years ago

after the rain

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moonmukamiamajiki

2 years ago

Stray Kids as Songs by The Weeknd

Author's Note: Only doing songs I have heard by him which is mainly the 'Starboy' & 'Trilogy' albums. Sorry not sorry.

Word Count: 1k exactly (crazy)

Genre: no designated one; not fluff, smut, or angst

Warnings: Cursing

Chan as Sidewalks

Honorable mention Starboy (this song has that confident swag Chan has. Chan flavored rizz if I do say so)

"Cause too many people think they made me Well, if they really made me, then replace me"

This song just feels cocky enough to be Chan as well as Starboy. Chan is THE it boy in my mind. Too many people in the industry try to act like Chan isn't good at his job. They act like he is expendable. He is literally so motivated and hard-working.

"I feel useless when I'm never makin' money, ah Well, this the life we always fantasized"

Minho as Heartless

Honorable Mention Acquainted (Just lee know flavored Rizz. No more to say idek how to describe it. The touching on your body part is so him)

"Photoshoots, I'm a star now (Star) I'm talkin' Time, Rolling Stone, and Bazaar now (Bazaar now)"

This song just gives MINHO. This song is actually the reason I wanted to do this series. The 'I'm a star now" reminds me of Minho saying he wanted the attention on him when he is on stage. My boy is no longer a backup dancer; he is the main attraction. I love that for him. Also, idk it's just fitting that Lee know would embrace the 'heartless' thing he has going on. People think he is so heartless and uncaring, but that is the least bit of true.

"Said I'm heartless Tryna be a better man, but I'm heartless"

Changbin as The Party & The After Party

Honorable mention is Twenty Eight (Hear me out but something about the 'hey there lonely girl' screams Changbin. He would fall for the wrong one. It's not his fault; she was convincing and pretty)

"Don't be shy with it, I'll supply with it I got you, girl, oh, I got it, girl"

Changbin is the reliable type. He will be there for his partner/ best friend he has a crush on even if they aren't in a good mental state/ physical state. This is what this song is about essentially. However, they don't end up together. He knows the people don't want him for him. They want him for the money, his body, etc. He still entertains them though.

"They don't want my love They just want my potential"

Hyunjin as Party Monster

Honorable Mention Till Dawn (Here Comes The Sun) This is basically what led to his hoe phase in my mind. Playing too many games with the wrong women.

"I'm the realest, she said I'm the realest Head be genius, dick game be the meanest"

If you say this song isn't giving Hyunjin, you are lying. Hyunjin is cocky, a hopeless romantic but I think it's from not having many relationships. If he ever goes through a hoe-phase, this will be him. He wants to feel important and special. Talk his head up, please.

"Tell me lies, ooh, girl, tell me lies Say you're mine, I'm yours for the night"

Jisung as Die for you

Honorable mention Shameless (Not willing to give up the love, a lil toxic vibe, cocky bastard-vibe just overall Jisung. Please listen to this song if you haven't!!)

"The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'cause Baby, I would die for you"

Hanji just fits the vibe of this song. He is so emotional about love; he seems so dedicated to his possible/future partner. He, also, is the type to be nervous and not want it immediately as the lyrics say. He is willing to do anything for his lover.

"I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love I try to find a reason to pull us apart It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect"

Felix as Love Me Harder w/ Ariana Grande

Honorable mention Next (Too smart to get played by someone who only wants him for the fame. Savage Felix mode. Too many people see Felix as just soft but he is intelligent and very strong.)

"If you know about me and choose to stay Then take this pleasure and take it with the pain"

Felix is the type to tell you everything from the beginning. All his trauma, insecurities, everything. If you play your cards right, you will be getting everything from him. He needs your all. The patience, sacrifice, care, etc. He wants to be loved and to give it. He just needs to know your not going to screw him over.

"You gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta Got to love me harder"

Seungmin as The Birds Pt. 1

Honorable mention D.D (Getting stuck with a fan who is obssessed? It just fits considering he isn't the committing type. Some one will try it.)

"If you try to play your luck (Ooh) Ain't nobody gonna care enough To catch you fall"

Seungmin is not the lovey-dovey type and he DOES NOT want the responsibility of breaking someone's heart at all. He will give several warnings, but he will still do relationship shit with you. It is very confusing and he will STILL blame you for not heeding his warnings. Don't fall.

"So don't you fall in love Don't make me make you fall in love"

Jeongin as I feel It Coming

Honorable Mention XO/The Host (Jeongin would for sure have a person he would try to be there for regardless of situation. This person would know all of skz and he would in other words make skz their found family)

"You've been scared of love and what it did to you You don't have to run, I know what you've been through"

Lover Boy Innie. Jeongin is just a boyfriend in my head like he gives good boy energy. This song has soooo much serotonin in it to me just like Jeongin. I can imagine Innie taking care of someone who has been hurt before. I love that for him.

"Baby, I can take my time We don't ever have to fight Just take it step-by-step"

Tags: @kflixnet @lino-jagiyaa @moonmukamiamajiki @l-luvr @kpflyn

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moonmukamiamajiki

2 years ago