Moonmukamiamajiki - Moon Mukami Amajiki

Skz Drabble — Alone (MinChan)

Author’s Note: this is a self insert but also a very specific one. Lots of it is my personal story from losing a parent. It’s hard sometimes; I’m here for anyone who needs it. Love you guys 🫶🏾

Wordcount: 1,617 (maybe I got carried away 😭)

Warnings: mentions of polyamory/ polyamorous relationships, descriptions of depression, loss of a loved one, a full bladder, suggestive at the end.

It was one in the afternoon. Nothing special about today; it was simply a Sunday. The birds chirped, the sun shined, and the wind blowed as cars came pass. Simple.

Yet, you lay in bed. Bound to bed by the leaps and bounds that is the world. You feel your heart getting heavier. You were triggered by the music playing in someone’s car as they drove pass. Your mom loved that song.

Now the tears won’t stop flowing. Your mind won’t stop going. Running and running trying to dodge all your problems. You fall back onto the bed covering your face as if that stopped the sobs that escaped you.

Sobs. For someone who only wanted you to not cry as their last wish. The pain of missing them and the guilt of not following their wishes keeps you wanting to do nothing but remain under the safety of your hands. So you do. You lay in bed with your eyes covered for a while.

Overthinking for a while. Would my mother be proud of me? Even on your best day, you aren’t the same person with your mother. Less motivated… less confident. Would she hate the person I’ve become? You lost the spark. Sometimes you debate on what you keeping going for. Is she even watching? Does it truly matter? You won’t get anything from her. Nobody else cares.

You eventually lay on your side staring at the window. Just clear, beautiful skies in view. The perfect juxtaposition to the mood inside your apartment right now. Dark, sadness looms over you. It’s been years. At this point, you should be fine right? Wrong.

Everyone applauds you for keeping it together. ‘Y/n is so strong’ ‘without my mom I don’t think I would make it y/n is an inspiration’. Unbeknownst to them, you are falling apart alone. You never let anyone know, never let anyone in. They all have too many things going on in their lives.

You had been in bed for way longer than expected at this point. It has been hours of overthinking and crying: a repeated cycle. You felt dehydrated, like your bladder was gonna explode, and exhausted. Yet, you remained in bed. In fetal position, you felt the safest from the world.

You were soon asleep. That’s why you didn’t notice Chan and Minho enter. Chan used his spare key. You hadn’t answered any of their messages or calls for a few days now. This was not normal; this is the longest slump you’ve been in since before you met them.

Normally, you can pull it together after a day. Possibly a few hours even. Three days you have spent at home now. You were convinced you would lose some of your skin complexion.

It was a mess in your house besides the living room. You kept the living room clean to keep appearances from neighbors. The kitchen had a stack of plates in the sink and the garbage was full. The bathroom had lots of tissues from crying on the sink and filling the garbage can. Also, some make up removal wipes because you tried to do your makeup at one point.

When they reach your room, they are prepared for the worst. Nerves eating at them and it showed on their faces.

“What if she’s not alive?” Minho whispers to Chan.

Chan shakes his head. “We’ll deal with it the best we know how..” He opens the door and is relieved you’re just sleeping. The light snores from your body alerted them immediately. Minho lets out a breath he was holding and holds his chest.

Your room: the most dirty of it all. Tissues, energy drink cans, water bottles, lots of plates and bowls, clothes on the ground, hair ties and jewelry just spewed about. The only jewelry missing is the necklace you always wear still on your neck.

“Maybe we should help clean? She doesn’t seem.. okay” Minho suggests. Chan simply nods. He is worried about you, and the condition of you and your place are concerning. Your house is normally rather clean, and you would be up doing some kind of studying or chores. Midday sleeping? Not the typical.

Chan takes on the bathroom cleaning the skin and shower first. While, Minho decides to focus on your kitchen. He starts with the dishes and counters. Chan was going to clean your bathroom mirror, but he saw the affirmations you wrote on it. ‘Tomorrow will be better’ in red lipstick. You weren’t doing okay… his suspicions were right.

Minho decided since the dishwasher was going and the counters were clean maybe he could clean the fridge and stove. The stove required little scrubbing. In the fridge, he found minimal things. Some soup, drinks, eggs, and fruit. The soup he recognized as something you mentioned you loved a lot as a child. Did you make it to feel comfortable? Did it work?

After they both cleaned the floors, they decided to clean your room. They were the most nervous about this because they could wake you. Minho gathered the garbage in a bag since he had taken all the dishes out earlier to put in the dishwasher. He could easily take the garbage out as well. It was part of the kitchen. Chan decided to do your laundry. He took the time to read every clothing label to sort and wash them correctly. They couldn’t clean the floor without waking you, so they decided to wait on that part.

You woke up to the sound of Chan and Minho talking somewhere. You didn’t even connect the dots yet. You groaned as you woke up. You didn’t go use the bathroom before sleeping now you felt the worst stomach pain ever.

Minho was alerted immediately and came to the room.

“Y/n-ah are you okay?” He questions, getting a little close to the bed.

“Can you help me to the bathroom, please?” You beg him. He immediately lifts you out the cover to which you moan in pain. “I’m sorry..” he mumbles. You shake your head. “This is all my fault. Let’s make this quick.” He hustles and helps you to the bathroom. Chan is also watching as you almost immediately go when your on the toilet.

He sighed. “I told you about holding in your piss!” You shrink a little. “I know I’m sorry Channie..” He was going to lecture you, but he hopes the pain is a lesson enough. You go to wash your hands afterwards still in pain. The pain takes a while to subside; it was actual torture and discomfort.

Chan carries you to the living room and sits you on the couch. Here you are between Chan and Minho as they both look at you. You have been exposed. It was a hard to even say anything. The men who you had been seeing were upset with you.



“I can- I can explain.” You stutter out as loud as possible. They nod in an agreement. “Go on.” Minho beckons.

“I.. I’ve had a hard few days. As you both know, I am without both my parents. My mother being the closest to me. I have just been reminded of her so much, and it hurts. Listening to the songs she likes, smelling the perfumes she wore, seeing people who look like her, and the worst of all is when I watch someone die in a movie or show. I can’t do it. My heart is too weak.” Chan rubs your back gently as he holds one of your hands. Minho wipes the tears you didn’t feel fall as he holds your thigh.

“Y/n.. we’re your boyfriends. Why not tell us? We were in the dark about you, your physical and mental state, and that is scary for us.” Chan softly spoke.

“I am prideful.. I can’t be weak even to the people closest to me. You guys always give me so much credit. Meanwhile it is so fucking hard! I take so long in the shower because I can cry in there without you guys seeing me. I just don’t want to worry you guys either. You’re super busy and going through things on your own tha-“ Minho cuts you off. He normally doesn’t interrupt, so you’re immediately confused but attentive.

“In a relationship, we are supposed to be there for each other 100% of the time. If the person needs something, you should be able to balance them. It is three of us. Please don’t feel like you have to be alone in anything. We love you. We care for you. We will always want to hear your concerns and troubles. Don’t do this again.. please.” You could see the concern and sadness on their faces. They actually want that from you. They care about you.

“I’m sorry to worry you. I will try to put my pride aside when it comes to you guys. It will take some getting use to. I know I messed up, but I love you guys too. I don’t want to lose you.” You cuddle closer to Minho and pull Chan in too. They cuddle you smiling softly.

“Our hard-headed girl” Chan pats your head and laughs. “Literally. Also, our messy girl. You’re welcome for cleaning.” Minho rolls his eyes as he says that. “Thank youuu. Sleepover?” You ask excitedly. “Sure let’s get the bed ready.” Chan says as he gets up, stretching his arms and back.

Minho taps you for you to get up and stands up. “Don’t worry we’ll be gentle tonight. You have done enough crying already. As long as you feel satisfied, we can do whatever.” He says, winking and grabbing the towels out the dryer.

Taglist — @kflixnet @l-luvr @lino-jagiyaa 🐶 @moonmukamiamajiki 🤍 @kpflyn

Mood board inspired by her solo "Playground"

happy hongjoong day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤

You can see a lot of wips, commentary and more on my patreon!

Get one of these for 11$!! / buy me a coffee!! / stickers and more are available!!

Mood board inspired by her solo "For"

Happy Bang Chan day💙

Skz older brother reactions: You got your heartbroken for the first time

Author's Note: Special shout out to @l-luvr for her big brother reaction that inspired me to make this. I hope you enjoy mine as well. Italics are thoughts as always :)

Warnings (?): mentions of violence, nudity, cursing, lots of crying, weight insecurities, discriminatory language

Word Count: 5,937

Chan 

Why did I have to go to Uni in America?

That thought has been running rampant in your mind as if it was some kind of enigma. You were in your second year of university when you came home for break expecting things to be just fine. 

It was not fine. On the second day of break, your boyfriend broke up with you. 

You were doing fine until someone mentioned he was talking to someone. Already?! It’s only been 24 hrs.… To say you were devastated wouldn’t even be enough to describe how you felt. You locked yourself away in your room fleeing from your parents and siblings – ultimately the world. 

“Go check on her” 

“You do it! I’m not going in there.”

The mumbles of sounds outside your room weren’t your first concern as you listened to heartbreak songs in the dark. Difficult is how you’d describe trying to find your appetite and motivation. The issue was you’d have to return back to school eventually and see him. A knock at the door took you out of your wallowing in self-pity. 

“Can I come in?”

You sighed before getting up and unlocking the door before opening it to reveal a concerned Chan. He looked down at you before hugging you tightly. Standing there in his arms reminding you of why you will always need him: comfort. Chan knew exactly what you needed, just silence reassurance that you’re enough. Your hands wrapped around his torso slowly as you sobbed into his chest. 

In silence, you both stood there not sure where to go from here. As scars played in the background, Chan sang along for you.  He rocked you both side to side slowly trying to calm down your crying. Surprised you watched him sing in awe, not sure when the last time you heard him sing in person was. Your heartbeat slowed to match his, eye heavy and heart heavier.

As the song ended, he asked “Are you ok?”

“Yes. Thank you for singing for me…” 

He smiled softly knowing his sole purpose for singing was to calm you down: it worked. Like you were a baby, Chan lulled you almost to sleep. He was your rock, and it would be helpless for him to try and fight the fact he was. 

“Do you want to lay back down?”

You nod slowly crawling into your bed as he sat next to you. You rested your head on his lap. “Can you sing to me again?”

“Only if you tell me what happened” 

He was very compelling, knowing you wanted to hear him more than anything right now. It was embarrassing to admit to him that you ruined this situation. You were too attached, making him unattracted to you. 

“I ruined it Chan... I didn’t give him enough space. He felt suffocated. I just thought- I wanted to do stuff more often.”

You stared up at his chin. Eye contact made you nervous, so he just stared forward, nodding. Chan had several situation ships in the past. No one in his life currently, but he has been here before. He rubbed your hair back.

“I feel like he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment and love style you have. It’s ok. Some people are in your life for a season to teach you a lesson.”

Even though you were only two years apart, Chan was way more mature than you are. He had to grow up faster given that he had three younger siblings. Lucas and Hannah were much more independent and attached to each other. You and Chan were closer because of not only age, but you could go see him more often. Once Chan debuted in Straykids, you were already 18 years old. 

Spending time in Korea to be close to him, but also work in a new place to make your resume and work history more diverse. Also, despite being Korean, you had never visited the country before only understanding the language minimally. 

“Do you ever want to turn back the clock?”

You could see the gears turning on his face as he picked out his words very carefully. Not wanting to confuse you or sound stupid in the process of answering. 

“Actually yes. I would make a lot of different decisions, but it would change so much that I just accept the fact that life happens for a reason. What if I changed something then I died because I didn’t do something important.”

You laughed at his antics. Always the philosophical perspectives with him. He took everything literally, and his candor kept you grounded. 

“You know…”

Your words dragged on as he finally looked at you in anticipation. “I love you big brother”

He kissed your head and ruffled your hair teasing. 

“Cutee. You love me??”

“I regret saying that now.”

He wasn’t taking no as an answer. He pulled you up and snuggled you tightly like. It was suffocating but adorable. You patted his head trying to calm him. He plopped down on you content in his positioning. 

“Chan you’re heavy! Also, what about my song?”

He just hummed facing the other way to ignore you as he stayed on top of you. You pushed his torso trying to move him in any way before he got the idea: getting off you.

“Okay my little yeodongsaeng. What song would you like to hear?”

Minho

You immediately called him to come get you from the restaurant bathroom during your disastrous date. “Oppa” Your voice was barely heard as you sniffled trying to maintain your composure. After you were born, he was always protecting you. His adorable, sensitive sister – the one who constantly pretended there was nothing ever wrong. 

He was with the guys because you heard a lot of commotion. You didn’t want to interrupt their night – they were probably somewhere messing around. You sobbed into your hand; He was so happy meanwhile this is the worst night of your life. He stepped away by the sounds of it. 

“Are you okay?” His voice was low, and his concern was clear as day even over the phone. It was silence from both sides of the line as you thought on what to say. It’s too late to say nothing is wrong… also you need a ride home

“Kai broke up with me. He said he’d rather be with someone who was skinnier…” You couldn’t tell his reaction over the phone as it had gotten silent again. You heard footsteps before he tells the guys what happened. Sighs, gasps, and some murmured comments were made about the situation. The only person you didn’t hear was Minho himself saying something about it.

“Hyung…?” That was Jeongin. Minho had a fire in his eyes. Skinnier? How dare he insult you like that? Did he not understand the threat that Minho told him? On the year anniversary of you guys being together, you took Kai to meet your family. As expected, they liked him since you did. He appeared to be a good guy at the time. 

Minho was the only one weary of him – pulling him aside to talk when you went to the bathroom. His words were very blunt and passionate.

“Hurt my sister, and I’ll kill you”

Trying to grab his attention, you ask him to come get you from the restaurant. He nodded, grabbing his keys. Before you could say anything else, he hung up.

“Hyung, don’t do anything irrational.”

“Felix. Don’t worry. Does anyone wanna come with me to get y/n?”

“Yes, I wanna go!” Jeongin was bouncing off the walls. He needed to get this energy out apparently. 

“I’ll go” 

Minho, Jeongin, and Chan had come to get you. The only issue being that Kai was still there; he decided to actually have dinner. You had no appetite having cried and thrown up from a breakdown. How could you eat in front of him after he basically called you fat anyways?

Minho walked inside to see if he could spot you with Chan and Jeongin on his heels. His eyes scanned the room immediately landing on Kai facing the other way. Before Chan had any chances to grab him, Minho, basically, towards Kai punching him in the back of the head.

“What the fuck?” Kai spins around to see who the culprit was before getting up to fight back. As blows were thrown back and forth, Chan put Minho in a headlock. He tried to de-escalate the situation, but the next words out of Kai’s mouth made it very difficult. 

“Fuck you and that fat bitch” He spat trying to get closer and a rise out of Minho knowing he was being held back. He didn’t expect Chan to punch him in the face – it happened so fast. 

Minho – with a newfound freedom – beat him into the ground. The restaurant workers had no idea what to do; the commotion coming from outside made you wander out the bathroom curiously. Seeing your brother and Kai tussle, it warms your heart in a somewhat bad way. You shouldn’t enjoy his suffering, but he deserved the worst. 

Satisfied with the ass whopping he just gave; Minho grabbed your hand to leave with Chan and Jeongin following once again. Nothing was said on the way back to their dorms besides a whisper from you.

“Thank you Oppa. Can we stop and get food?”

Minho just nodded, changing the route to head to your favorite restaurant. “Anything for you”

Changbin

You were always all over Changbin when he came home from tour with that being the only free time he ever has. You loved your brother so much; calling, texting, and voice chatting while he was away any time you got any news to share with him. He was like your diary, and you were his – all skz news was never new to you. You were essentially all of the guys’ younger sister. 

They were very involved in your life with Minho, Changbin, and Chan being your favorite ones. They babied you in a way that made you satisfied. In your everyday life, your friends were all younger than you. Meaning you had to be a strong leader for them to look up to, it was the only way to maintain their respect.

It was nice to be the youngest around Changbin and the guys. Being 2 years younger than Jeongin, he was your happy place, your fashion consultant, and most importantly your best friend. Meaning he was the first one to know when you broke up with your significant other. 

They had called a house meeting over it. It was important to console you in these trying times. 

“Okay so what do you think she needs right now?” Felix asked. He was the most concerned being the sunshine boy he is; he hated when anyone else was upset.

“She needs nice words and a little bit of space to think. It’s a time for reflection on what she wants and truly is.” Chan was always the voice of reason.

“I think I’ll just ask her?” Changbin suggested.

Which led to this moment in which all the guys were at your front door. You in your saddened state looked like shit. Hair slick and greasy in a messy bun, pajamas on, and tear lines on your cheeks. 

“Heyy Y/N. Can we come in?” Chan asks. You nod letting them come in. Taking places on the couch and table, they sit before you lay on the floor in front of them. It was obvious you had been sleeping on the floor; the blankets and pillows as well as some stuffed animals looked comfortably spread out. 

“Can we help in any way? Have you eaten?” Minho asks petting your precious kitten: Mochi.

“I have because Mochi insisted. She kept screaming at me and going to the fridge. Also, I don’t think it’s anything you guys can do… I’m just not that confident. I was hoping it would work out regardless, but he wanted someone bolder than I am.”

“Good girl Mochi” Jeongin and Minho praised her as they pet her. Mochi was comfortable with their presence having been around them enough at this point.

“Well if confidence is what you need… I have a suggestion. The gym.” Jisung says knowing it was a shot in the dark. He didn’t know how you felt about that.

“Good idea! We can go together. The brother-sister duo that was meant to be.” 

You laughed at Changbin’s excitement. He has tried to convince you before claiming ‘Noona goes to the gym. You should go too’

“I’ll think about it. I don’t see myself going every day. I’ll burn myself out.”

“Then don’t. I suggest 4 days on, 3 days off. In any order. Also, you gotta eat right. No more chocolate ice cream at 12 in the morning.” Chan warned.

You pouted before nodding. Chan was such a father, but he just wanted the best for you. The next day you were at the gym with Changbin. 

“Noona gave me her workout for you to experiment with. Also, I bought you this.” He pulls out a water bottle. It was big, but it had writing on it. ‘Stay strong and healthy - Changbin’

You hugged him not wanting to let go as you tear up. In his embrace, you found yourself at home. With his help, you could do anything. Including building your confidence, you wiped your eyes and grabbed some weights for your first set.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin was never in the know about anything in your life, too nosey. He couldn’t keep a secret for anything; he was the new Tom Holland. All love to the old Tom Holland. Therefore, you didn’t tell him anything about your relationship and how it ended.

He couldn’t handle information like that. Everyone in your family would know. Kkami was the only one who knew anything. He was silently judging you every time you cried at least, so you could assume he knew.

“Hey Y/N. Let’s go out tonight.”

Outside... I haven’t been out in so long. The last time you went out; you were single, and it was Halloween then as well. Enjoying the sluttiest holiday of the year, sounded like a plan. 

“Okay let’s go out” You went to the stores to gather anything to make a makeshift costume settling on being boo from monsters inc. She was adorable and also had black hair: score!

At eight you began to get ready together, doing each other’s makeup and hair as well as pregaming. Tequila shots always get you drunk. It is tradition for you guys to have similar costumes. Hyunjin agreed to be Sulley. 

Entering the party already buzzed, you waved to the guys as you passed each of them. Chan, in the DJ booth, was playing a rather good mix because no one was sitting down. Minho and Jisung were playing beer pong; Minho, being the competitive asshole he is, was winning making Jisung look dejected. Hyunjin and Felix began tearing the dance floor apart with their moves. Literally taking this time to dance like loonatics. Seungmin was bartending as he was also listening to something in his earphones. Maybe a podcast. 

The only one not in the mix was Jeongin; he was dressed as a werewolf, and you had to admit his leather man had him looking good. He brushed back his hair as he sat on the couch sipping his drink. It is some type of jungle juice. You sat next to him with your cup.

“Hey y/n! How’s it going?” He asked, a gleam of happiness behind his eyes. Jeongin and you are the same age and always joked about how old the other is ironically. 

“It’s ok. I’m just trying to have a good time yk?” He nodded, not a care in the world about anyone else. He is so attentive. After finishing your drink and talking a little, you gathered yourself and went to dance with Hyunjin. 

“You good?” He asks, confused on why you came over. He thought you were having a good time with Jeongin. You guys looked good together. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Why? Do I not look okay?”

He leaned closer to not say this to any unwanted ears. “I thought you and I.N were having a moment” 

‘A moment?! Like flirting?!’ Hyunjin thought it was obvious y’all were flirting – apparently not.

“Hyunjin please!” You whine hitting him. You had slightly gotten over your crush on Jeongin by getting a relationship but being newly single meant you found him attractive once again.

He had got you outside to see if you could enjoy your night and find someone to finally date. Confused by your lack of love life — he was trying to be a good brother and set you up with Jeongin.

Jeongin continued to try and talk to you all night; he had a crush on you since he met you at their debut. He was considerate of your feelings, never pressuring anything or trying to boldly make a move. 

Today was more difficult than normal; you had on a very good costume which was ultimately just a giant shirt as you were boo from monsters inc. with shorts. He thought you looked adorable, and it fit your soft personality.  

“Soo... Y/N do you wanna dance?” 

You were dumbfounded to say the least. You just nodded and took his hand as he led you to the dance floor. You began to dance very closely to the slow song playing. His hands on your waist as he whispered. 

“I always thought you were gorgeous. I’m glad we’re having this dance.”

You blushed and looked off to the side where Hyunjin gave a thumbs up. ‘Did he plan this?’ You were almost furious at him, but he was a good brother to set this up. He made this break up, even though he knew nothing about it, way easier to deal with. 

Jisung

You were wrapped up burrito style because Jisung wrapped you up. He called it a ‘sadrrito’ and threw you over his shoulder. The last two days you’ve been crying and in bed. Jisung had enough of you moping around only leaving your room to get your boba deliveries and use the bathroom. 

He sat you on the couch and cut on the anime he was watching. He didn’t say anything to you about why he bought you out here or what he wanted. You slumped into the couch going on tiktok. Apparently tiktok hasn’t gotten the message you were single because your whole for you page was couples. It broke you to the core. 

Jisung slapped your head. “Watch the anime big head”

You sighed and put your phone on the table not wanting to deal with another slap to the head from Ji. Normally, you’d fight back, but you were so low energy having only eaten small meals and boba. The anime was obviously your type – Shonen. Haikyuu was your comfort anime. It’s all you’ve had for entertainment these last two days.

This was more violent catching your attention quickly considering the main character lost all his family in the first episode except his sister. By the time the sixth episode began, you sat up and pulled the blanket down some because it got too warm. 

“Did you just see that?!” You asked him when the sister came out her box to help the brother fight. 

He laughed and nodded. It only took six episodes for you to be seemingly back to yourself. In a lot of ways, you guys reminded him of Nezuko and Tanjiro. He would do anything to protect you. Also, he just wanted to be the main character so bad. It was the only role he considered “worthy” of him.

“She’s so strong” 

“Yeah, she’s a demon”

“I mean true. Would you still love me if I was a demon?”

“As long as you don’t try to eat or harm me, I don’t see why not. You're still my sister in that form. You have to protect me.”

You hummed in agreement. “I wouldn’t love you if you were a demon. I’d kill you without second thoughts.”

“You’re heartless Y/N. What if I agreed to protect you?”

“I can’t take any chances. I’d probably be a regular civilian in an anime world.”

He laughed looking over at you. Not you considering yourself too normal to be the main character or villain. He thought you had main character potential so like supporting cast 1. 

“I don’t think of you in that way. I think you could be like a supporting character to the main character or the love interest to someone deserving.”

You sighed thinking about love interests. ‘I rather be regular than a love interest’ You had accidently said that out loud gasping when you realized. Jisung just pulled you into a hug. 

“Listen my favorite yeodongsaeng. You are deserving of a love that is unconditional and understanding. Don’t let one bad situation stop you from ever loving again. If one person saw something in you, there has to be others out there. Also, you're like seventeen. You have a long life ahead of you.”

“I’m your only yeodongsaeng!”

“Is that all you got from that?”

You laughed, shaking your head. You heard him loud and clear. He was ever so bossy. You just laid your head across his lap as you continued to watch the anime. His words running through your mind: “there has to be others out there.” He was right; someone out there wanted you. When the time is right, they’ll have you. 

Felix

You were already depressed before the breakup, so it came as no surprise when you were suddenly more depressed now. It was already hard to manage a schedule and keep appearances. Right now? You could do neither.

As you laid in bed, you watched meaningless Minecraft builds for the fourth hour in a row. It was the only thing you could manage to not cry about while watching. It had no emotions, no music, and it was easy to follow. 

A knock at the door led to you pausing the video. “Come in!” You yelled at the unexpected visitor. In came Felix, he looked concerned but stared at the ground. 

“Hey. How’s it going?” His voice somber. He knew you were down right now. 

“It could be better. I'm so tired Lixie.” 

He came over to your bedside and sat down. He looked you in your eyes finally. He could tell you weren’t lying; you looked like shit. It pained him to see you so discouraged and disoriented. 

It’s been three days since you had a shower or eaten. Only water and vibes have been keeping you here. Hoping that death was soon, you didn’t care about those things. 

Felix had led you to the bathroom and since you were out of energy let you sit as he ran the bath. Normal sibling relationships weren’t something you and Felix knew anything about. You were connected to the hip as if y’all were twins.

Once he drew a bath fitting of his standards for you, he lit some candles. He wanted you to relax if possible, so he spread them around the room for some ambient lighting. He helped you undress and get in the tub; your body relaxed into the hot water as you laid back.

Felix always knew best; he was older and wiser than you most of the time. He knew given the circumstances you needed a push to do better and feel better. He could do this if he tried: motivate you but also help you physically. 

The feeling of water running down your head scared you, but you closed your eyes anyway. Felix began washing your hair; he was so gentle about it. This whole process was just soft and caring; he did this out of love not pity.

The tears that fell from your eyes as he rinsed your hair made him panic a little. His relaxation plan isn’t going well; you’re crying instead of laying back. 

“What’s wrong Y/N?”

“I’m sorry. You just reminded me-me of them. I thought they loved me, but they just did things because of their pity on me. It’s hard for me to- to do certain things on my own because I’m depressed. I don’t always care about my well-being, but I don’t want-want or need anyone’s pity.” You're stuttering from trying to talk while crying probably made you sound very dumb. The embarrassment on your face is obvious due to your blush. 

“Well baby sister. Some people don’t understand that pity isn’t caring or vice versa. I have friends whose parents taught them that pity isn’t a bad thing and that to pity the less fortunate. This is a bad mentality. It can be due to their growing up or just self-deflecting. They feel pity towards themself in the traits they share with you.” 

He helps you wash your body besides your genitalia and breasts not wanting to touch those areas understandably. He was still your brother even if he had somewhat seen them; he didn’t need to also touch them. He has found comfort in caring for you sometimes; it is good practice for having a child in the future. He won’t feel weird touching them if they’re of the opposite sex. 

Eventually, Felix stepped out to allow you time to wash your private areas. In this time, you tried to think of ways to thank him for doing this. The first being to put on your robe before he came back in. The second is to say it and possibly hug him. Physical touch was not your love language, but Felix loved hugs and hand holding. Literally vibrating in your arms when you give him the monthly hug. 

You stepped out of the tub after finishing your shower and put on your robe. You practiced the speech in your head a million times as you did so. A simple ‘Thank you Felix. I love you.’ It should be so easy. Anything longer and you would’ve choked up. Anything shorter and it isn’t saying anything. 

The door swung open revealing a waiting Felix on his phone. He immediately put his phone away, smiling at you softly. You went up to him and hugged him resting your head on his shoulder. 

You were too choked up to say anything. Tears warm your eyes and cheeks. This time from happiness. Felix rubbed your back mumbling an “I love you too.”

Seungmin

Seungmin was a very rational person, usually. This was not one of those cases. After hearing about your breakup, he wanted this man to suffer.

You were relieved when Daehyun said he was going on vacation. You loved your boyfriend, but you just needed some time alone. Spending every moment not at work at your shared apartment meant he was home when you got there. 

He was in university and you decided to go into your career beforehand. You determined that being a successful writer did not require a degree. You worked at an office every day because writing at home was too much. 

You didn’t know he also felt the same about you being around too much considering he only had one hour alone every day at home. He decided to go on vacation to hopefully give you some peace.

You didn’t expect to get cheated on and lied to. He had posted pictures and called while on vacation. The only issue came when you checked his friend's snap and saw him in the back kissing another woman. 

You had decided to play it smart and move out your stuff then. By the time he arrived, you only had a mere bag of things. With the apartment and furniture being his because of his parents, he wouldn’t notice anything big missing. Maybe the blender or toaster, but he didn’t use them much anyways.

“Hey Y/N! I’m home!” His voice boomed through the apartment. You made your way out the kitchen and to him. You hugged him gently. 

“Welcome home babe.” The words — bitter on your tongue and weighing heavy on your mind. Did he call her any names? Was she just a one-night stand? Who is she?

His voice snapped you out of your overthinking, “Damn that wasn’t exciting did you not miss me?”

“I did. Trust me just didn’t wanna overwhelm you. I know you’re tired from the plane ride.” Mentally rolling your eyes as he pulled away finally sitting on the couch.

“Yeah, I had fun. Lots of liquor, fun, and good food. You should come next time. I was lonely.”

Ahaha. Lonely?! I saw you kissing a bitch!

“Yea for sure. I just wanna make sure I have the right clothes for the trip. Did you meet any interesting new people?”

“Nope, not that I can think of. I really didn’t interact with a lot of people.”

“So, who was the woman you were kissing?”

“Huh?” He looked like a deer caught in headlights

“Who. Was. The. Woman?” You said clearly stopping after every word.

“There is no woman. Idk what you’re talking about?” 

“Okay well when you remember.. Call me.” 

That led to now: you sitting at home watching anime on your laptop as you laid across the couch. Seungmin was confused as to why you were home so early. It wasn’t a holiday or someone’s birthday.

“Hey Y/N. What are you doing at home?”

You took that chance to explain everything to him. You showed him the video and had an audio recording of him saying he didn’t do it. 

“Okay so is he at home right now?” 

“No, why?”

“Let’s go destroy his shit.”

You liked his idea, but you worried about getting sued. Seungmin reminded you that he would have to explain the reason an ex would do such a thing. With a family as respected as his, he would never. 

You arrived at a quiet apartment; he wouldn’t be home for another two hours. Seungmin made quick work of being petty and taking the batteries out of every remote or thing he could think of and submerging them in a cup of water.

You cut the butt out of some of his pants with scissors. Just small enough that he couldn’t notice if not paying attention. Hopefully everyone likes looking at his cheating ass, literally. 

Seungmin put chocolate syrup all over his bed and couch. You gasped when you saw the couch. He was busy pouring glitter in his shampoo and body wash.

“Min that is so evil!” You hit his arm laughing. 

He just smiled evilly and shrugged. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

“Yea let me just put this back in the bathroom.” He walked back to the bathroom leaving it in the shower as he found it. You both left and you slid your key under the mat not wanting any connections to him anymore. 

This was a very mind clearing experience. You let out your anger, made him feel worse in the process, and got to spend time with your brother.

“Min why did you come with me?”

“Because you’re my sister, I’m the only one allowed to mess with you. He doesn’t get to be off the hook. Actually, he still is on my shit list. If I ever see him again, it’s an ass whooping for him.”

You laughed at his statements. You laid your head on his arm. “Is there anything you wouldn’t do for me?” You questioned.

“The dishes.” 

You whacked his arm laughing. So basically any and everything.

Jeongin

Jeongin often came to your house given that it was closer to JYP than your parents' home. You had become a big-time model being scouted at 16. Now at 18: you have a fancy apartment in Seoul. 

The only ones in said apartment being you and your cat Mitty. Mitty was the reason you begged Jeongin to come over. You had been confined to your bed with a heart ache, and Mitty just wanted to play with someone. 

“Y/N! I’m here!” His yell alerted Mitty who wasted no time to bolt towards his voice.

He arrived with ingredients in a bag to cook, possibly. He stored it away before coming into your room. 

“Heyy… How are you feeling?” 

“Like shit. Can you give Mitty some water? It’s a fountain that holds a liter of water so you can just pour two cups in it.”

He did just that and fed her a can of cat food he found in the cabinet petting her gently. He washed his hands and began to make your favorite: bibimbap. 

You had quickly fallen asleep after crying. Your life, career, and apartment were all a mess. You had no scheduled shoots for a week now. The state of your apartment was a mess from you just crying and eating take out everywhere. Your partner decided that having a girlfriend that was more successful wouldn’t work. There was too much going on.

Jeongin played some low music as he helped clean up a bit. He successfully cooked at the same time. He knew you deserved it, and your giant heart will be appreciated one day. 

He tasted the food once it was done before turning the heat off. It was delicious, and it would be great once you wake up. He decided to finish cleaning and take out the garbage. What a nice oppa he was being to his yeodongsaeng!

After an hour, you woke up from your nap and slowly stretched. You went and used the bathroom before heading to the living room. You squealed, forgetting Jeongin was there scaring the both of you. He was simply watching YouTube on your living room tv. 

“I’m sorry Oppa. Did you really wait here for me to wake up?” 

“Yea just wanted to spend time together. Also, I made your favorite, let me reheat it. Sit down at the table please.”

That you did. Sitting in the seat you always chose. The one looking at the door. You waited patiently as he went to the kitchen and returned with the food.

“Thank you oppa. You really didn’t have to do this.”

He nods, “I did have to. You are my only sister. I care for you.”

Never saying I love you; always I care for you. I love you is for goodbyes. At the end of the night, he will say it before leaving in case it’s the last time. Never before. 

You began to eat and smiled when he watched in anticipation. Maybe he didn’t think he cooked it well, or maybe he just wanted the praise.

“It’s really good, Innie.” 

“I’m glad you like it. Did you wanna play a game or something today? I understand break ups are hard, but I’m here for you.”

After finishing your meal, you both played minecraft together. You had a shared world where you spent most of the time killing each other, but you both liked it that way. He distracted you from any pain at least for that night.

Taglist: @lino-jagiyaa @moonmukamiamajiki @/l-luvr [please join my taglist]

look at the glitter on his hair ✨

🐺🫧221025