"I-I really don't get the plan here, mate."
"Bruuuuuh. It's simple, Phil! You said I can't go undercover because people look at me and think 'Oh man, that guy looks like he could rip out my liver with his teeth'-"
"I just said you are unapproachable-"
"-so, of course, the logical thing to do is make myself look harmless, right? Make it so people don't vibe check me and get 'Dangerous' as a result-"
"And how exactly does dying your hair bubblegum pink make people look at the six-foot tall buff former soldier and think 'non-threatening'?"
"Pink is a calming color, Phil."
"You're a fucking dumbass."
✨Patreon
✨Redbubble
Art by xiaoyu huang
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW
THIS IS A TRUMPET
THIS IS A TROMBONE
THIS IS A TUBA
AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
Smaug and Bilbo girltalk be like:
“And I once caught them trying to make off with my silver spoons!”
“MAKING OFF WITH YOUR TREASURE?!
H A N G. T H E M.”
“Well that would be just awful, wouldn’t it?”
“SO TOO IS GOING WITHOUT YOUR SILVER SPOONS.”
wrangling the beast
"ohh thorin trusts Bilbo above his own family and kin because he just loves him sooo much because I think romantic love is superior to any other form of love" or maybe it was he was experiencing a severe episode of paranoid psychosis and he implicitly trusted Bilbo because he was the only person in the Company who didn't have any preexisting, longstanding loyalities to him (as a King or brother-in-arms or Family or otherwise) and followed him purely out his own desire to and he saw Bilbo stay by his side even after his contract had ended even though he knew how much he wanted to go home (and had every reason to at that point). maybe it was because he knew Bilbo would had nothing to gain by betraying him (re: no birthright to the crown, no desire for riches or property, etc). Maybe he believed he could confide into Bilbo because he felt like he felt like he wasn't responsible for his safety in the same way he felt responsible for his nephews or his kin (as their King), and he no longer need to mantain any sort of formalities or barriers with him (because Thorin is not. his. King).
sorry I just refuse to believe Thorin doesn't love his nephews as much as he loves Bilbo (someone who he'd only known for 6~ months at that point) and I think there's a lot of better ways to explain his behavior here
emdoodles
one true ending
∆ ace ∆ maybe aro, idk ∆ nonbinary ∆ any pronouns!!! ∆ i want to be a streamer one day, but now I'm just trying to copy ∆ ∆ feel free to interact ∆ ∆ i like minecraft, fantasy and oddities ∆
493 posts