I Hate That Thing Some People Do Where It's Like. "I Left My Wallet On The Table To See If You'd Say

Watson: this is illegal! we could be imprisoned for this!!

Watson: *publishes entire story in The Strand*

🔎🐝 This is a master post of my Sherlock Holmes fanfiction which you can also find on Ao3! 🐝🔎

For details and warnings, follow the links to AO3, it's included in tags there.

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The Absolute Truth of the Matter

On the way to Rosenlaui, Holmes falls behind to face Moriarty alone. When it is instead Watson who encounters the Professor at the Reichenbach Falls, events take an unexpected turn.

Or: Watson does a few ridiculously courageous things and there is a crack in Holmes's lens.

The Case of the Lost Cat

Annie hesitated, nervously turning the apple in her hands, lowering her gaze. “I must tell you first,” she mumbled, “that I can’t pay your fee, Mr Holmes, b-but I can help in the garden, or –“ „Oh, but lost animal cases are always free of charge,” Holmes said casually, folding the newspaper and throwing it onto the floor next to his armchair. He is, as I have often stated, really a rather brilliant man.

After the Great War, Holmes and Watson are living a quiet life somewhere in Sussex. The days of great detective work lie in the past, but when a distressed young client asks them for help with finding her lost cat, Holmes and Watson have to solve a case that might turn out to be just beyond their limits.

Flowery Prose

Holmes rarely read to me, and never like this.

The Return of Dr Watson

I think of myself as a practical woman. I am proud to say that I have always been able to manage my household in the most efficient manner, purchasing only what is of good quality without requiring any unnecessary expenses. I have one possession, however, that is an exception to that rule. This is the story of how not only one but two of my tenants returned to Baker Street, and how I came to own one of London’s finest tea services as a result.

Mr Holmes returns. Dr Watson leaves. Mrs Hudson realises that London’s greatest detective might require a little assistance with winning the good doctor back.

The Adventures of the Amorous Amateur

Five times Sherlock Holmes is bad in bed and one time Watson is too.

The Heart's Desire

In which Watson learns how to make love to Sherlock Holmes.

The Adventure of the Lost Footing

“You have been in this particular mood for months,” Holmes stated. “You are in pain, but worse than that, you feel useless. You would clearly be more comfortable – and productive – away from London. Therefore, it seems a permanent relocation is in order.”

When Watson is no longer able to keep step with Sherlock Holmes, he expects to be left behind. As it turns out, Holmes has already devised a plan.

Of Seeing London Again

I had dreamed of London day and night, and now I had returned, but I was not home yet. It would not be until Moran was caught and I could finally reveal myself to my old friend Watson that I would be able to find a modicum of peace.

A Kinder Heart

“Holmes?” The pipe clattered to the floor and there was tobacco scattered all around it, but it passed like a flash before my eyes because I had spun around to face whoever had entered the room. It was Watson, of course.

The Return

“Watson, will you keep this?” I extended my hand and offered the cigarette case.

From the Flowers

Holmes loves flowers. Watson loves Holmes. Mrs Hudson loves to meddle.

‘tis the day, etc etc

Watson is ALWAYS ready to hit someone.

“‘Give me the word and I’ll thrash the hide off them.’”

“I could have struck him across the face.”

“I picked up a chair…”

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

Back from my hiatus! Happy pride month yall- to celebrate I made this meme in hopes I was first for this year

@cactisays just watched the first episode of the x files

reverse gatekeeping. I am on my knees begging people to engage with the source material

@cactisays <3

lighting our red string of fate on fire to see what material it's made out of. practicing sheep shank knots with our red string of fate. weaving a basketball hoop's net with it and slam dunking our relationship through it. tying a macrame hammock with it for us to sleep outside under a tree in. dragging you around through a county fair by the red string. hello

It’s so funny to me that every time Watson stays to help with a case and sits down and gets his gay little notebook out, none of their clients are like “Wait a second. Are you gonna publish all of my personal business in the fucking Strand???”

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk